What Are Your Triggers?

[Dan Metevier]

Its interesting to know that in some professional circles there's a norm on this.

It's becoming more the norm in the world of trauma therapy. One person's traumatic experience may be like nothing to another person and vice versa. That's how I see it, at least.

 

[Dan Metevier]

I guess its not always about trying to figure everything out for sure, but finding out your triggers and dealing with those so as to minimize how things affect you.

This statement is exactly the theme of how I do trauma therapy. Much less arduous and painful (and potentially re-traumatizing) for the person and a lot faster yet also long-lasting relief too.

 

[Dan Metevier]

Both questions answered together

Thank you for sharing all this. I hope you continue to find ways of "dealing" that work better in a public forum. Must be tough. Thanks again.

 

[Vanilla]

This seems to me to be a "quite lovely" description of good mental health. Did you figure all this out by yourself? Or did you have help (therapist, books, friends, etc.)?

My upbringing allowed me to learn how to live in my own way. I've always had to learn how to understand the world in this fashion, and so learning to understand myself was simply an extension of this. I've spoken to a few others, who have also pretty much raised themselves in the same way, and these individuals seem to thrive on it. Guidance is helpful, but I think an Aspie needs to figure some things on their own as well, and without force. Of course, it may depend on a case by case basis, but this has worked for me.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I appreciated everything your said and the fact that you shared it. This stood out for me as very interesting. I can see where a person in a manic state might not have the patience to allow for an autistic person to do their thing, so to speak. Thanks for this insight.

I haven't the slightest clue where "angry" falls on the manic/depressive|happy/sad scale. I just know the two that I ticked off got downright pyschotic. I'm still not sure how I made them so mad since I was doing a lot of chores and favors for them moreso than anybody was at the time.

"torture tickled"...hadn't heard that term before, lol. Yes, but only a couple of times. Mostly it was softer, fondling-type touches where he insisted on touching areas I didn't want touched...I think I became more ticklish as time went on so I had some kind of excuse that occasionally got me out of some of the touching.

We've always taught our kids that "if someone says 'stop', you have to stop." That empowers even the youngest to say when he's had enough tickling or whatever. Everyone has to respect the first "stop"...male or female, young or old, doesn't matter.

Ikes, sorry, if I'd been thinking I would have remembered that part. Aye, I agree that "no" means "NO". I just wish that one handful of people out there would stop using "no" as a playful way to say "do it more".

It was a somewhat subtle message most of the time for me, but there was one time my dad said very seriously and thoughtfully that he wished we had never been born. The implication was always there that we were too much trouble, even though we were good kids. And he often struggled with suicidal thoughts himself, and told us about it from when I was young, and told us that the pressure on him from our family problems were what pushed him to the edge repeatedly. I got the message loud and clear that my existence made his life miserable.

So is this ongoing for you? Is it someone you're around a lot? That's a horrible message to hear from anyone, but especially if you get it over and over. How do you deal with it?

There were a few people I dealt with that once were under entirely too much stress (or been through too much trauma, kids really shouldn't get together in gangs and beat up and bloody the same kid for years in end) and for some reason I seemed a great way to get their stress out, and circumstances did not permit me to get the heck away from them and stay away from them. I learned that if I fight back and stand my ground, I'm at high risk of getting stabbed (for autistic people and bi polar people really don't mix well), so I'd find a way to make myself cry and be quiet until they'd calm down. Then spend the next few months dropping little remarks here and there to whittle away at their self esteem so if they got that mad again they'd be more likely to hurt themselves than me. It's much easier trying to talk somebody into a reason for THEM to live than a reason for YOU to live.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I learned that if I fight back and stand my ground, I'm at high risk of getting stabbed (for autistic people and bi polar people really don't mix well), so I'd find a way to make myself cry and be quiet until they'd calm down. Then spend the next few months dropping little remarks here and there to whittle away at their self esteem so if they got that mad again they'd be more likely to hurt themselves than me. It's much easier trying to talk somebody into a reason for THEM to live than a reason for YOU to live.

Good grief, where did you grow up? Sounds like a war zone.

 

[Ylva]

Most kinds of social interaction are really stressful.

Having someone be interested in me and push their expectancy at me through their eyes.

Noise. Unpleasant or loud sounds.

Too much light.

Too much unwanted touching.

Vagueness.

People sneaking up on me or standing directly behind me.

 

[Dan Metevier]

Most kinds of social interaction are really stressful.

Having someone be interested in me and push their expectancy at me through their eyes.

Noise. Unpleasant or loud sounds.

Too much light.

Too much unwanted touching.

Vagueness.

People sneaking up on me or standing directly behind me.

Thank you!

 

[Flinty]

1. Being embarrassed, especially when it's deliberate. Being in a crowd and being expected to socialize.

2. Time heals wounds. Not much else helps.

 

[Dan Metevier]

1. Being embarrassed, especially when it's deliberate. Being in a crowd and being expected to socialize.

2. Time heals wounds. Not much else helps.

Thanks!

 

[Dan Metevier]

Most kinds of social interaction are really stressful.

Having someone be interested in me and push their expectancy at me through their eyes.

Noise. Unpleasant or loud sounds.

Too much light.

Too much unwanted touching.

Vagueness.

People sneaking up on me or standing directly behind me.

Thank you for sharing these.

 

[Dan Metevier]

Anyone here familiar with the concept of a "highly sensitive person" or HSP? Here is a website about this: The Highly Sensitive Person – Any thoughts or reactions?

 

[King_Oni]

Anyone here familiar with the concept of a "highly sensitive person" or HSP? Here is a website about this: The Highly Sensitive Person – Any thoughts or reactions?

I've heard of this plenty of times, even before I even considered Asperger's as something that would suit me as a diagnosis, since there are a few things that surely overlap between HSP and AS. However, from my understanding it's always been a bit of a pseudo-science thing in that tolerance for certain things varies greatly per person and that a lot of the things that quantify for HSP are extensions of one another.

I suppose the same can be said for AS and some traits, but AS just feels a bit more expansive and doesn't just deal with the senses so to speak, but might involve the way the brain operates in performing tasks in and by itself.

 

[Dan Metevier]

However, from my understanding it's always been a bit of a pseudo-science thing

That's my take, too, although it seems like it could be a useful concept for those with sensitive nervous systems. There is an emphasis on (and permission given regarding) taking care of oneself.

 

[King_Oni]

That's my take, too, although it seems like it could be a useful concept for those with sensitive nervous systems. There is an emphasis on (and permission given regarding) taking care of oneself.

Yeah, but that's what I also pointed out; it just happens that some people might have a more sensitive nervous system; I'm not even going to argue on that.

Using it as a tool however seems a bit tricky IMO; you're using "knowledge" that's basically nothing more or less than an assumption to base opinions, and perhaps even a diagnosis on.

Though perhaps I'm the cynic who sometimes wonders whether psychology by itself isn't a pseudoscience in that it's based on observation for a large part and not something that's exactly quantifiable and measurable like, say, chemistry. Granted, some things one can measure, including the use of EEG scans.

 

[Dan Metevier]

Yeah, but that's what I also pointed out; it just happens that some people might have a more sensitive nervous system; I'm not even going to argue on that.

Using it as a tool however seems a bit tricky IMO; you're using "knowledge" that's basically nothing more or less than an assumption to base opinions, and perhaps even a diagnosis on.

Though perhaps I'm the cynic who sometimes wonders whether psychology by itself isn't a pseudoscience in that it's based on observation for a large part and not something that's exactly quantifiable and measurable like, say, chemistry. Granted, some things one can measure, including the use of EEG scans.

OK, now you've done it! You've revealed the true nature of psychology as a pseudoscience (and don't you ever forget it!). Go forth with great caution, my friend!

 

[wyverary]

The "strongest triggers" for me are too hard for me to share, to be honest. At least in this section. Anything involving suicide, car accidents, anytime someone bungles a severe mental health crisis...feel free to message me, Dan Metevier , if you are truly curious.

 

[Keith]

I like reading in silence. It's hard for me to concentrate if there is even an air conditioner hum is audible.
When I go to bed, it must be in absolute silence except for the hum of a fan. It also must be pitch black except for the light coming from my clock.
It's hard for me to do computer work in a table chair. I must have a reclining chair with cushiony material instead of wood or else I will get a neck-ache.
I don't like being reminded I'm overweight.
I don't like being scolded.

 

[epath13]

I become overwhelmed from 1 thing only - too much information of any kind. It could be too many images, sounds, words, anything. Usually when they are disorganized, but I can become overwhelmed when dealing with organized information as well. It also depends on a day, amount of sleep, what I eat. I can still function but it's not easy sometimes.

 

[OddGirl]

Bullying, or things that have led to my being bullied or otherwise attacked in the past (large groups of teenaged NT males approaching me, 'class clown'-type people who attack others to get laughs, being followed when walking home at night). This is an instinctive fear response in me. I suspect at least part of this is PTSD-related due to being a frequent target of bullies and a victim of both beatings and sexual assaults as a child and a rape that happened almost 4 years ago.

Thumping bass, barking dogs, loud motorcycles, sirens, complex high-frequency sounds, loud and sharp sounds..these are definite sensory triggers that literally make me go into a total "make it stop make it stop make it stop!!!' panic reaction. There is no trauma-related cause for this.. It is totally sensory.

Tight, binding clothing will cause me to go into such an intense meltdown that I've even injured myself while trying to get clothing off. I've dislocated my shoulder twice, cut and scratched myself while trying to get especially tight items off as quickly as possible. Granted, this doesn't happen much now that I am an adult and buy my own clothes, but when I was a kid it was awful! Mum did the clothes shopping, and she always liked her clothing tight and tailored, so she bought the same way when she bought my stuff. Clothing was *the* biggest meltdown trigger during my childhood. I also hated very feminine clothes like dresses and absolutely loathed pink. I preferred to dress in gender-neutral or masculine clothes that were loose and baggy, soft, wash worn, and usually dark colours. As a kid, I hid scissors and knives around the house with which to sabotage clothes Mum bought me which triggered off my sensory issues, and if I was prevented from cutting up especially hated items, I had other ways of destroying clothes I couldn't tolerate... Like stripping off in the driveway and scrubbing a particularly tight, itchy, binding, frilly dress up into the wheel wells of the car in order to get the dress so badly stained with road dirt and engine grease that it could no longer be worn. Once, at the age of six, I even resorted to intentionally urinating in my clothes to be freed of a horrid dress after Mum kept too close an eye on me to allow me to rip up or destroy the dress on the day of one of her friend's wedding. Mum had held on to me from the moment she wrestled me into the hated dress right to the moment she belted the screaming, writhing me into the car, and I knew I'd be stuck wearing the hated, sensory hell dress for hours if I didn't figure out some way to get free of it quickly... so.. pee. It worked! Of course, I got spanked, but the brief sting of a scut on the butt was nothing compared to the absolute hell of a sensory meltdown lasting hours. Mum never believed that my sensory issues were anything more than me being bratty and willful until I was finally formally diagnosed with sensory integration disorder at the age of 21, and she still minimizes how severe it is and how badly it impacts me. She hates that I dress the way I do and still doesn't fully understand that I dress in loose, baggy, soft cottons to mitigate my sensory issues.

Being touched, especially unexpectedly, from my blind side (I'm blind in my left eye), or by someone I really dislike or mistrust will trigger me.. If unexpected or unseen, it feels like a sharp, stinging electric shock and will startle me badly. I have an exaggerated startle reflex and will often raise my arms in an instant, defensive manner to ward off the intrusion. If the touch is from someone I hate or mistrust, the sensation of electric shock is combined with severe, intense, nausea-inducing disgust, and instead of a purely defensive reaction, I will often strike out against the disliked person who touched me, pushing him away or hitting/punching him. I even knocked a guy unconscious after he groped me from my blind side when I was in grade 11. I have one hell of a right uppercut. I generally tell people to avoid touching me unless I say it's ok, and to always make noise when approaching me from the left.