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Asperger's Syndrome & Autism News & Forum
ive loved with my boyfriend for 7 months. We met online 12 years ago, when we were 13-14. Two years ago is when we got into an online relationship and after those two years we took the plunge and I moved to New Jersey to be with him.
I didn't know until I moved in that he has Aspergers. I'm bipolar, so I didn't judge. I just figured it was something new I had to learn to adapt too.
Every couple of months he would have this short meltdowns. He would stop being affectionate and would tell me he felt empty and felt nothing for me. I visited him once last spring, and we broke up briefly because of a situation like this. He told me he wasn't attracted to me, we broke up, I went back home and we didn't talk for a month. After that month, he started texting me videos of the apartment that I had found for us. He had rented it and was telling me how he wanted me there. I ignored him because I was too hurt. For a week he nonstop texted, sent videos, and even emailed me. I eventually...
A google search didn't yield anything conclusive.
But since they get to represent us with that godawful puzzle piece, can't we come up with a symbol to represent them?
Just now I informed my country's autism organization's through their FB page that I hate the puzzle piece they use as a logo. I'm sure my comment will be gone by tomorrow. But if they ask, I will tell them that it is not their place to define me from their perspective. I am definitely not missing a puzzle piece from where I stand.
So if anyone has a suggestion for how to symbolize NTs as they, collectively, look from your perspective, please post it in this thread. It would be awesome. And don't worry about whether it is correct to do so; after all, NTs do it, so it must be socially appropriate.
I told someone, "Want to know what its like for me to socialize? Do you play the violin? No? Good. Have any musical ability at all? No? Good. Borrow a violin and show up at a recital with it. Get on the program so you are expected to play when its your turn. (bear with me here) At a certain point, you are ushered to the stage, where you are to play a duet with a talented and accomplished player. Everyone is watching closely and your partner is counting on you. They all have expectations of what you will do, because there you are with your instrument. I dont have to tell you what happens once the piece starts.
Now imagine living in a society where everyone is expected to play the violin well and often, where life centers around it. You can learn to mimic how to carry the case and hold the instrument, but you have a tin ear and no rhythm. You can learn, at best, a few scales and a bar of something here and there, poorly. But you cannot learn to play music. And you are considered...
If after four days lost and barefoot in the woods you hear a rescuer shout your name and you respond, "What?"
Your computer's hard drive is in perfect order but you see no reason for making your bed every day.
If you count your time at the check out counter as social interaction.
You were a Trekkie way before it was cool.
You hold your breath down the detergent aisle.
If you've ever translated anything at all into Klingon.
Before baking a cake you read a book on the chemistry of baking to find out what exactly each ingredient does, how they all interact, and exactly what happens at each stage of the baking process.
Your pets have more social interaction than you do.
There are holes in all your clothes where the tags used to be...
The thought, "there has to be a pattern to this" is a major theme of your life.
I found these all familiar, this is from:You Might Be An Aspie If...
Please add more that apply, if you can think of some.
It seems there's two side to the debate.
Cureists who want to cure the disease of autism as they see it.
People with autism who think we are fine as we are, so just leave us alone. Autism is not a disease.
These two camp seem irreconcilable at first, but I got thinking and it seems to me they are both flawed, and that the flaw comes not from the reality of autism, but from a single term being used to describe both our neurology, and the problems that many autistic people have.
Imagine if being black and sickle cell anaemia had the same name (hope that's not offensive, I couldn't think of another example).
If we had a word to describe our neurology, and another for our problems, would anyone mind people trying to cure our problems?
But if they did the equivalent of trying to cure us of being black, society would understand our outrage, as it has obvious parallels.
Since all this hit, I am all mixed up.
I don't feel male but I LOATHE anything female. I was looking at the med braceletts and felt ill looking at the frilly ones. I went to the Mens section and YAY! I saw ones I liked. I buy t-shirts only in hte male section because female section does cutesy things with tshirts I hate.
I guess I am seeking to look androgynous just automatically.
Has this happened to anyone?? I had clothes that were female of course. Jeans and stuff. DUMPED!
I feel best when I am no gender.
Yet, when I do vids on my special interest (not autism ) then I DO look like my gender (F). I even comb my hair!
So I am all mixed up. I never FEEL female, but I do present as F in some occasions. I never feel male, either.
I FEEL like a prepubescent child of no gender. I think I am going crazy,
Has anyone just had their gender drop right off??
I see a lot of things talking about Aspie people being generally great at math and with numbers.
For me I can remember phone numbers, dates etc. Very well, but I have extreme anxiety with math. I've always struggled with it, though the more straight forward math isn't as bad, I can't seem to hold mathematical Numbers in my head even for a small amount of time. Algebra was nearly impossible for me, by far the worst. X.x
Does anyone else here have extreme difficulty in math?
My Aspie boyfriend broke up with me. I am completely devastated. He told me that it was exhausting for him to be in a relationship, that he is tired of trying to live a "normal life". He said something about feeling stuck in a hole and that tiptoeing to get out is the thing that affects him most. I kept trying to be patient, supportive and understanding, I gave him space, didn't put pressure, but every little thing started bothering him. The first 6 months were amazing, he was so affectionate and caring and loving, yet all of a sudden it all began to fall apart. Since October I have been living in constant emotional stress, fearful of not doing something to upset him. I still do not fully understand how could he change his mind like that. I believe it might have to do with the changes he's been experiencing (job, place to live) and the emotional pressure may have been too much. I tried my best to be reassuring and making him feel safe, but apparently I failed. I am a mess, I think...
Hi all. I feel terrible after reading articles and blogs on a website which describe the experiences of wives of Asperger's men.
I could hardly believe what I was reading. It was hard to endure. Now, I feel like some kind of monster because I am not sure whether I have ever treated people, especially women, this way.
I am not married, but reading stuff like this makes me feel really guilty for wanting to ever get married.
The website states that Aspie men (like me) are akin to psychopaths and narcissists, and have the same effect in a relationship. They say being married to an Aspie man is like being ignored, invalidated all the time, abused, and their life destroyed. They say Aspie men never give them attention and always blame the wife for everything, and last but not least - are totally incapable of loving her.
I almost cried reading that last part. I mean, I believe that I can love a special girl in my life very much, and I want to treat her so well and do everything for...
I am curious to know more about the way Aspergers was taken out of the DSM and placed under Autism. I know a few people with Aspergers who are very adamant they they are NOT mentally ill (i tend to agree) and want Aspergers not to even be under the umbrella of Autism.
I would like to ask people with Asperger's how they feel about this? Is it an illness?
When I was dxed, it was Autism NOS. It was not Aspergers and I assumed this was because I don't funciton all that well. But I learned that the amount of functioning between Aspergers and HFA and Autism NOS does not really matter when it comes to dx. This makes even less sense to me because the next dr may say I have Aspergers!
Now I do NOT function well, so if Aspergers was not in the DSM, there would not be this confusion. My dx would then be based on the fact that I was not functioning and then I could accept that whatever I had needed some help there.
So if someone functions OK in any of the categories and does not want to be...
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