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Asperger's & Autism Forum
I have been stuck in a rut for months on the same foods. I perseverate on certain ones, and cycle through them according to my routine, and lately I've been very very stuck. More so than usual for me. I've been able to count on my hand the foods I'll eat and if they aren't available, I just won't until I'm able, even if it means skipping...much to the chagrin of my husband and family. I know this isn't healthy(logically anyways) but I just can't bring myself to eat what I don't want and I can't get past it most days. Again being new to possible to diagnosis, I blamed this cycle on my worsening depression or being "quirky with food" as I will try new things at times... but now know that this habit I've had over the course of my life could be linked to Aspergers.
Onto my small victory ☺️
I seem to have broken a bit out of this cycle and wanted food that was outside those I've been stuck to in this particular round. This is small I know, but encouraging nonetheless.
What kind of plants do you have? Got some pictures to show off your plants? What type of plants are you hoping to have in future? Anything unusual, like a bonsai or orchid? Do you have a really interesting or unusual indoor plant specimen? Plants are awesome! This is a thread for anyone who loves indoor plants to share ideas, solutions, show off their plants or collections.
This has always been something I've really tried to figure out my entire life, why I'm so lonely all the time and why I ended up this way.
I've never really had a lot of friends, honestly I can only remember one time when I even had a best friend, that friendship lasted about two months.
I obviously have a family that cares about me very much, but all of my life I've wanted just one really good friend who would stick by me through it all, but at the same time, I'm not a very social person, signing up here was nerve racking and took a lot of courage.
In the real world, my mind is constantly ablaze with thoughts like "What does that person think of me?" or "What bully will I run into today?"
I've always thought that with my autism and the way my mind is and operates, that that could be the main cause of why I'm alone. In person I can never look someone in the eye, it makes me extremely nervous and trying to introduce myself to people is even worse.
Outside of work and other...
Years ago, I dismissed the idea that I could have Aspergers due to the word empathy. I had read that Aspies lack empathy, whereas I had social anxiety disorder which some think of as having too much empathy, so I thought the two were incompatible. More recently, I've come to the conclusion that when referring to autism, sometimes people are using a different definition of the word empathy. Instead of meaning the ability to recognize and feel what others feel, they mean the ability to respond to someone's emotions in a way that the other person deems appropriate.
Any thoughts on this? Which definition(s) do you think describe you?
First off, hello to anyone who finds the time to read this.
I have quite the obsession with the Swedish heavy metal band "Amon Amarth."
I started listening to them in 2008 and have been absolutely addicted ever since, so much so that since then I've bought every CD they've ever produced and have a ton of their posters and shirts, etc.
I've even found myself drawing their band logo sometimes when I'm bored, which by the way, I think I'm getting better each time I draw it.
Amon Amarth has carried me through some very dark times in my life and I hope this doesn't sound strange, but I consider them to be family.
For some reason though I have to stick to one band at a time and learn everything about them, because I feel like branching out to something else means that I'm cheating on that band. I don't know if that is something related to my autism, but I've gotten a lot of flak for it over the years by former friends and others.
I really try not to talk about them in front of...
Hi. I can't tell if my friend is mad at me. Yesterday she sent me a bunch of texts asking if she could park at my house so I can give her a ride to and from college. It would be once a week, and she doesn't want to pay for a parking garage pass. I didn't reply back to her text until this morning because I was nervous about telling her I didn't want to. It would just be stressful for me have to drop her off then wait around 3 hours for her to get out of class, and then pick her up after picking my daughter up from her bus stop.
So this morning I told her "I don't think I can commit to that because I'm busy during the week with doctors appointments but I can do it some days." Immediately after she replied with a one word text saying "ok." And hasn't replied to any of my other texts. I'm worried she is mad and giving my the "silent treatment." Maybe I'm just paranoid though.
... so I don't feel like such a bad mom.
Very recently, I discovered that my former partner possibly has Aspie. I read up on AS, and suddenly things about our past relationship made sense.
My Aspie currently associates me with stress/anxiety, because of the mistakes I've made in the past by overreacting to things. I've since learned, and have admitted this and apologized to my Aspie.
My partner might or might not be aware of this condition, but I suspect there is some awareness.
Is it even possible to re-attract my Aspie, and if so, how should I go about it?
As you know my current never ending quest is to get a job, however I am being sent in the direction of call centre work which requires you to work 40 hours a week at minimum wage, however I can't do it without coming off benefits, which for various reasons I can't do, it would affect the tenancy of my Flat (Americans call it an Apartment) and other stuff.
So anyway, realistically how many hours could I work while claiming Employment Support Allowance (ESA) and Disability Living Allowance at the middle rate for mobility?
I know I probably need to speak to someone at the Job Centre about this but I've done so before and keep getting conflicting answers, one person says one thing, somebody else says another, they never sing from the same hymn sheet.
In my life, looking back at the past I've found that my personality is malleable and not quite real. At school I was student, working I was various things, artist, chef, salesperson, waitress, newspaper carrier, babysitter. Have held a lot of jobs in my life, and during that time I identified with those jobs as who I was.
I've felt like a chameleon for so long, that I can fit in most places without standing out. When I travel to other countries, I find clothing that will make me look like a local so I won't be labeled as a tourist. The problem is that it's so hard to know who you really are, when you spend your life acting a part to fit in.
Does anyone find this to be true? I know in a sense who I am, but it's almost as if having spent my life pretending I've not developed a true sense of self.
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