NTgirl4276
Well-Known Member
(apologies for possibly interrupting the pregnancy topic, just wanted to return to the OP for a minute.)
hi, Libecht. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time and are so frustrated right now. I hope you are able to find some peace soon. i'm also hopeful that spending some more time here on AC might allow you to interact with more people, particularly NTs, who might change your mind and ease some of your frustrations.
As others have pointed out, IQ is (perhaps unfortunately) not everything--at least, in this world in which we live. Living in a society necessarily means living among and with others, and that requires some social intelligence that often trumps IQ. of course, we can get mad about that. but, anger without action is generally unproductive.
living among others also requires recognition of our differences without immediate, evaluative judgment--one difference being how our brains are wired and how they work. you might be interested to learn that many theories of argument maintain that emotive reasoning is just as, and sometimes more, persuasive than logical reasoning. some even insist that reasoning should always recognize an emotive component (if you're interested, I can suggest some further reading in this area). for many people, how they feel is fact. it's undeniable and all-consuming in a way that a "fact" or statistic just is not.
classic example: i might go on a date with someone and perhaps they check all the proverbial boxes: they are intelligent, kind, and funny. logically, i should keep dating them, right? but what if i don't feel comfortable around them? that feeling box tends to trump the others, every time. this is why many people get annoyed when they end up in the so-called "friend zone"--they forget about the feeling box. just because two people seem like a great, logical match on paper doesn't mean they will vibe well as humans, in concert with one another.
and such emotive reasoning does use the brain. emotive reasoning is a cognitive process. you can recognize that, perhaps, your brain works differently than others in this regard, but i would hold off on dismissing their cognitive processes as dumb or dysfunctional.
the dangerous thing about our predispositions is that they can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies. if you are assuming (by logical fallacy of composition) that every "normal" person you've met is dumb and, therefore, all "normal" people are dumb, it is more likely that you will interpret each new acquaintance's behavior as dumb. we often see what we want to see, hear what we want to hear.
if this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for you, the problem might disappear altogether, insofar as people ("normal" or otherwise) tend to keep their distance from others who think they're dumb or lesser in any way. there won't be anyone to be frustrated with, if no one wants to hang around.
i'll also say that you might have a skewed sample of "normal" people right now. the late-teens are a difficult, emotional, and transitionary time for most people. if i made decisions about how i would interact with other humans in my adult life based on my perceptions of others in high school... well, let's just say i'd probably hate everyone, too. give it time.
one last note: i have written this reply with absolutely no malice, but i will also admit that i was stung by your original post. unfortunately, our intentions do not necessarily dictate reception. even if you don't mean to cause offense, that does not shield others with some sort of protective armor against your words.
and to clarify, i'm not offended because I'm a "dumb" "normal" person. i was saddened by the thought that, if I met you in real life, we probably would not even be given the opportunity to get to know each other, because there's a good chance you would have written me off from the start.
hi, Libecht. I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time and are so frustrated right now. I hope you are able to find some peace soon. i'm also hopeful that spending some more time here on AC might allow you to interact with more people, particularly NTs, who might change your mind and ease some of your frustrations.
As others have pointed out, IQ is (perhaps unfortunately) not everything--at least, in this world in which we live. Living in a society necessarily means living among and with others, and that requires some social intelligence that often trumps IQ. of course, we can get mad about that. but, anger without action is generally unproductive.
living among others also requires recognition of our differences without immediate, evaluative judgment--one difference being how our brains are wired and how they work. you might be interested to learn that many theories of argument maintain that emotive reasoning is just as, and sometimes more, persuasive than logical reasoning. some even insist that reasoning should always recognize an emotive component (if you're interested, I can suggest some further reading in this area). for many people, how they feel is fact. it's undeniable and all-consuming in a way that a "fact" or statistic just is not.
classic example: i might go on a date with someone and perhaps they check all the proverbial boxes: they are intelligent, kind, and funny. logically, i should keep dating them, right? but what if i don't feel comfortable around them? that feeling box tends to trump the others, every time. this is why many people get annoyed when they end up in the so-called "friend zone"--they forget about the feeling box. just because two people seem like a great, logical match on paper doesn't mean they will vibe well as humans, in concert with one another.
and such emotive reasoning does use the brain. emotive reasoning is a cognitive process. you can recognize that, perhaps, your brain works differently than others in this regard, but i would hold off on dismissing their cognitive processes as dumb or dysfunctional.
the dangerous thing about our predispositions is that they can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies. if you are assuming (by logical fallacy of composition) that every "normal" person you've met is dumb and, therefore, all "normal" people are dumb, it is more likely that you will interpret each new acquaintance's behavior as dumb. we often see what we want to see, hear what we want to hear.
if this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for you, the problem might disappear altogether, insofar as people ("normal" or otherwise) tend to keep their distance from others who think they're dumb or lesser in any way. there won't be anyone to be frustrated with, if no one wants to hang around.
i'll also say that you might have a skewed sample of "normal" people right now. the late-teens are a difficult, emotional, and transitionary time for most people. if i made decisions about how i would interact with other humans in my adult life based on my perceptions of others in high school... well, let's just say i'd probably hate everyone, too. give it time.
one last note: i have written this reply with absolutely no malice, but i will also admit that i was stung by your original post. unfortunately, our intentions do not necessarily dictate reception. even if you don't mean to cause offense, that does not shield others with some sort of protective armor against your words.
and to clarify, i'm not offended because I'm a "dumb" "normal" person. i was saddened by the thought that, if I met you in real life, we probably would not even be given the opportunity to get to know each other, because there's a good chance you would have written me off from the start.
