Socially awkward men mistreated by women

[SunnyDay16]

Nor should you. I told the rest of that story not as a joke but as an illustration that people are not what they seem and you should not judge by first impressions. This thread asks why cruel women are not punished for rejecting socially awkward men. Some times what goes around comes around and they are. Undeservedly, bad things happen to good people and vice versa.

People who use the wrong criteria to chose their friends and lovers are missing out on finding the best mate.

Honestly this sounds very r/niceguys to me.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

What i experienced in this topic and even more in another thread where i said something about women and they staring instantly coming out of woodwork criticizing and shaming trying to make me apologize or shut up.

"Oh how dare you to express such a views you hate all women, you are awkward, insecure, you have resentment for women, you misogynist, and so on." trying to beat you emotionally back into submission by using diffident tactics guilt, shame, making you feel pity for them.

Here's a thing about women they are good at rallying up together in a face of any slightest danger to "we the women".
They create some kind of circle of hate around men who try to speak openly without any stereotypes and social norms.

This is nothing but a cleaver tactics that women use everywhere silence men and drive other men away from joining conversation.

Basically men who in their circle (under their heel emotionally) will read this and think "i better stay away because if i support that dude being destroyed right now they can start bashing me too or i will be in bad standing with them".

 

[Shamar]

I'm not saying all the time but sometimes women treat socially awkward men like garbage but are never called out or vilified for it. Often they might even get a few laughs. And I'm not talking about mistreating socially awkward jerks but men who are shy or friendly but socially inept.

I hate to put it this way because it sounds rude, but you are autistic, this sort of thing happens, it will happen again. I have observed a general level of disdain for people with autism from the non-autistic portions of society. It doesn't seem to matter how otherwise talented a person is, if that person is socially awkward or can't fit in, then that person seems to be treated as less than human. I don't see that changing unless we start an autistic armed revolution, which would probably make things worse. Besides, I can't really see us getting ourselves organized together enough to try. Nice to fantasize about, though.

I remember being mistreated by girls in high school. Walking in the hall between classes, a girl would sidle up to me and say something like 'so-and-so thinks you're cute." Soon it would escalate to :So-and-so really likes you,""So-and-so really want you to ask her out." Whenever I saw her, she would be looking at me, smiling sweetly. After two weeks of working to build my courage, I finally decided to go up and talk to her. After a few seconds she loudly proclaimed "ME? got out with YOU? You've got to be KIDDING!!!" Naturally, there were plenty of witnesses as I tried to slink away, humiliated, through a crowed of people laughing at me.

The strange thing is, I fell for it again the next year, knowing it was probably a setup. I took more than a month get get my courage up enough to try. It shows how powerful the need is for social interaction. There was a third attempt, but I didn't fall for it, even though it seemed different. I may have thrown away a chance for a relationship because os this treatment.

To sum it up, we are always going to be socially mistreated and rejected, it is to be expected, and we need to be prepared for it. If you are lucky enough to find a relationship that works and is real, embrace it. Those people are out there, but extremely rare.

 

[Theta.G]

Basically men who in their circle (under their heel emotionally) will read this and think "i better stay away because if i support that dude being destroyed right now they can start bashing me too or i will be in bad standing with them".

True i have seen this here roughly half a year ago. i do remember white knights coming in over something ridiculously trivial. Don't even remember what it was but i was a monster for it Lmao! Oh ya some guy was having trouble with his girl friend and i linked a MGTOW thread from reddit. Something along the lines of "I think this post would help you" Then all of a sudden i was the human embodiment of MGTOW, attack helicopters everywhere. Anyway It's almost become taboo to say anything about women without first saying "Uh but not all women, and women are great blah blah blah" pedistal speak. Even then, as you said it can get turned around. It's comparable to discussing politics or religion now.

But we shouldn't censor our speech out of fear of this. I speak out against the pharmaceutical industry, healthcare industry and entertainment industry... why in the world would i let some people who get the wrong impression and proceed to react in a predictable programmed manner power over what i post? We can still share information in a respectable way and have civil conversations about it while ignoring those who would resort to the fallacy hand book. If someone has a lesser opinion of us due to limitations of their own understanding then so be it. Right?

The fact that we are even talking about this right now when the thread isn't about the larger scale feminine and masculine dynamic shows that this stuff has gone too far doesn't it? No man should be afraid to talk about women and every single thread that criticizes vague situations that involve their gender shouldn't have to be derailed into this.

Neo feminists.. third wave fems / the ones that despise men... think what you want. At the end of the day i know and greater minds here know that we aren't misogynists for simply mentioning the word MGTOW. That's as foolish as calling someone a nazi for eating dorito's.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

I hate to put it this way because it sounds rude, but you are autistic, this sort of thing happens, it will happen again. I have observes a general level of disdain for people with autism from the non-autistic portions of society. It doesn't seem to matter how otherwise talented a person is, if that person is socially awkward or can't fit in, then that person seems to be treated as less than human. I don't see that changing ...

Problem it autistic women or ones with any other conditions will chose guys who are "normal" NT over ones with similar conditions to heirs.

And and even among NT guys they will always go for bad boy types, ones who extreme self confident, this is usually ones who have disregard for others and laws, more animistic in nature alpha male if you wish, its all tired on reproduction and genes that they think will be most beneficial for their offspring to survive.
And then when he that guy does her dirty she will overgeneralize and be hating all men.

 

[SunnyDay16]

What i experienced in this topic and even more another topic where i said something about women and they staring instantly coming out of woodwork criticizing and shaming trying to make me apologize or shut up.
View attachment 47680
"Oh how dare you to express such a views you hate all women, you are awkward, insecure, you have resentment for women, you misogynist, and so on." trying to beat you emotionally back into submission by using diffident tactics guilt, shame, making you feel pity for them.

Here's a thing about women they are good at rallying up together in a face of any slightest danger to "we the women".
They create some kind of circle of hate around men who try to speak openly without any stereotypes and social norms.

This is nothing but a cleaver tactics that women use everywhere silence men and drive other men away from joining conversation.

Basically men who in their circle (under their heel emotionally) will read this and think "i better stay away because if i support that dude being destroyed right now they can start bashing me too or i will be in bad standing with them".

I don't believe I was trying to "silence" anything or anybody. I was just providing my opinion, which everyone's entitled to.

 

[Monachopia]

@SunnyDay16 to be honest, this thread is turning into something a bit more sinister than r/niceguys and it's a bit ... scary...

 

[Autistamatic]

There are plenty of women who like complex, nerdy, intellectual men out there. Plenty are turned right off by the "Alpha Male" types, some even find that kind of guy quite ridiculous but are attracted to men who are self aware and have some sensitivity in their soul.
People of any gender or orientation tend to form better relationships with others who are in the same ballpark as themselves in terms of physical attractiveness too. A homely guy or girl - a 5/10 say, may lust after a 9 or a 10 but will generally bond with someone who's a 4,5 or 6.
You do get exceptions when gold-diggers or gigolos who are very physically attractive bond with someone just because they are rich and/or powerful, but they are the (very shallow) exception to the rule.

 

[megacomic]

I hate to put it this way because it sounds rude, but you are autistic, this sort of thing happens, it will happen again. I have observed a general level of disdain for people with autism from the non-autistic portions of society. It doesn't seem to matter how otherwise talented a person is, if that person is socially awkward or can't fit in, then that person seems to be treated as less than human. I don't see that changing unless we start an autistic armed revolution, which would probably make things worse. Besides, I can't really see us getting ourselves organized together enough to try. Nice to fantasize about, though.

I remember being mistreated by girls in high school. Walking in the hall between classes, a girl would sidle up to me and say something like 'so-and-so thinks you're cute." Soon it would escalate to :So-and-so really likes you,""So-and-so really want you to ask her out." Whenever I saw her, she would be looking at me, smiling sweetly. After two weeks of working to build my courage, I finally decided to go up and talk to her. After a few seconds she loudly proclaimed "ME? got out with YOU? You've got to be KIDDING!!!" Naturally, there were plenty of witnesses as I tried to slink away, humiliated, through a crowed of people laughing at me.

The strange thing is, I fell for it again the next year, knowing it was probably a setup. I took more than a month get get my courage up enough to try. It shows how powerful the need is for social interaction. There was a third attempt, but I didn't fall for it, even though it seemed different. I may have thrown away a chance for a relationship because os this treatment.

To sum it up, we are always going to be socially mistreated and rejected, it is to be expected, and we need to be prepared for it. If you are lucky enough to find a relationship that works and is real, embrace it. Those people are out there, but extremely rare.

I remember high school. I skipped all the assemblies my junior and senior year because when ever I had to sit with my class on the bleachers whenever I had to sit next to a girl they would say "ew I don't wan to sit next to him." or they would go to my older brother who was pretty popular and ask "why I was such a weirdo who never talked." Or they underestimated my acute hearing and whispered things like "That autistic guy sat our table today. It was so weird, he didn't even say anything." The thing is I never flirted with these girls or did anything that would suggest creepiness. Some people just hate that you exist. So I feel you bro.

 

[megacomic]

@SunnyDay16 to be honest, this thread is turning into something a bit more sinister than r/niceguys and it's a bit ... scary...

I'm really trying to avoid that. I feel kind of bad. This isn't about sex or anything. I don't want sex, I just for my humanity to be acknowledged. It's simply I've been bullied my entire life and not that often by men who might crack a few jokes at my expense but have never gone out their way to antagonize me. It just happens to be mostly women my age and younger who do so.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

I remember high school. I skipped all the assemblies my junior and senor year because when ever I had to sit with my class on the bleachers whenever I had to sit next to a girl they would say "ew I don't wan to sit next to him." or they would go to my older brother who was pretty popular and ask "why I was such a weirdo who never talked." Or they was under estimate my acute hearing and say things like "That autistic guy sat our table today. It was so weird, he didn't even say anything. So I feel you bro.

One time a teacher were reordering how we sat in class because she tried to prevent us from talking and make us pay more attention, so she put me with a girl then in less than a minute that girl started crying out loud like her life was over she got a death sentence or smth and teacher put her somewhere else and ordered some guy to sit with me.
That's a messed up and i had to hide my feelings that time and many others throughout the school.

If someone has a lesser opinion of us due to limitations of their own understanding then so be it. Right?

The fact that we are even talking about this right now when the thread isn't about the larger scale feminine and masculine dynamic shows that this stuff has gone too far doesn't it? No man should be afraid to talk about women and every single thread that criticizes vague situations that involve their gender shouldn't have to be derailed into this.

I feel very frustrated with how things are right with, western women are turned aggressive against men by all this movements, and nothing we can do about this, once they make their mind up no one will change it.
I am really tired of being only one who puts up a fight and others dont understand or too afraid, it wears me down a lot and at the end all i get is being stigmatized. I am thinking we need to keep our efforts in the platforms that are made for that purpose (men forums), going out in the world and being jumped upon for saying essentially nothing is really stressful.

 

[Monachopia]

@megacomic I'm really sorry you've had to go through that for most of your life. No one should have to go through that sort of bullying. Kids are awful and cruel. I don't think anyone on this forum had a positive experience at school, but that doesn't detract from the emotional hurt and ongoing anxiety we still go through even years upon years later. I can't even begin to think about school, it was traumatic.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for things my gender have done and thinks they can get away with because they're female and it's "cute" and "harmless" and that they're "entitled" to do. Bullying is bullying, doesn't matter who is doing it.

 

[megacomic]

@megacomic I'm really sorry you've had to go through that for most of your life. No one should have to go through that sort of bullying. Kids are awful and cruel. I don't think anyone on this forum had a positive experience at school, but that doesn't detract from the emotional hurt and ongoing anxiety we still go through even years upon years later. I can't even begin to think about school, it was traumatic.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for things my gender have done and thinks they can get away with because they're "female" and it's "cute" and "harmless" and that they're "entitled" to do. Bullying is bullying, doesn't matter who is doing it.

No problem. I think the problem is I wasn't really given a way to deal with female bullies. My dad's advice was simply deal with it and don't be a weakling. I'm 6'4 and pretty quiet so guys tended to be leery of making fun of me. Even though I abhor violence. Women know I'm not going to punch them so they're a far more bold. It's only just recently that people are catching on that women bullying men isn't funny.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

Women know I'm not going to punch them so they're a far more bold.

Yes that.

 

[owlet]

I remember high school. I skipped all the assemblies my junior and senior year because when ever I had to sit with my class on the bleachers whenever I had to sit next to a girl they would say "ew I don't wan to sit next to him." or they would go to my older brother who was pretty popular and ask "why I was such a weirdo who never talked." Or they underestimated my acute hearing and whispered things like "That autistic guy sat our table today. It was so weird, he didn't even say anything." The thing is I never flirted with these girls or did anything that would suggest creepiness. Some people just hate that you exist. So I feel you bro.

I had the exact same attitude from guys in my class (a lot of 'ew, not her' and acting like I had some disease they would catch - and this was with 16 year old guys, not young children). I think part of it is the fear of being teased for 'liking' someone (because in school if a guy and a girl are friendly with each other, people will often tease them that they're dating or something, which can make it very uncomfortable). Maybe that's more what this is about that gender-specific attitudes - which can't be generalised because each individual is different.

 

[Nitro]

I feel it is time for a staff reminder here that we will not tolerate obscene language or workarounds on any part of Autism Forums.

This thread has taken on a very nasty tone and has been gathering reports since yesterday.

That part is going to stop immediately.

We don't bash each other here, nor do we run others down.

We have rules about supremacy on this site as well, so that must end.

I am right on the very edge of closing this thread to any further replies.

Clean it up, or clear out.