The only instances I feel anything

[Alpha23]

Just got hit with affection again, which happens extremely seldomly. There is only a very specific instance when I get hit with something that can be described as maybe longing or devastation, but it's... hard to describe, because it boils down to a mere concept of things.

This time it was during a video where a son managed to trace down the car his father restored when he himself was young, which was his most precious possession. I myself don't value any possession of mine particularly highly - I'm actually in the process of getting rid of most of my belongings because of this reason - so it hasn't anything to do with my own ideal value. It's the concept of valuing something and the concept of loss.

Another instance that can bring me to tears quite quickly is simply playing "Toujours d'Amour", where it's the concept of teenage evanescence. I don't mourn the times gone by at all myself, but the thought about the concept affects me.

Additionally, I can relate to objects or ideas much more than to living beings, I sometimes tend to anthropomorphize inanimate objects in my own reality if you like.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Jumpinbare]

When I was dating my future wife, I didn't know if I loved her or not. I was going through the appropriate procedures of spending time with her, and looking for compatibility/incompatibility issues, but there was no special feeling involved. As a Christian, I try to love everyone, but that's more of an attitude and decision than a feeling.
I resorted to projecting possible futures. When I played out the scenario of ceasing to see her, I was hit with such an extreme sense of loss, like a close friend or relative dying.
So like @Alpha23, the concept of losing her showed me that I did in fact love her deeply, and that the relationship was worth continuing.

 

[Kayla55]

Looking back at my last decade as hermit, actually more like 15 years. I'm getting my first wrinkles and realise I'm old, that soon I'll be too old to date. Am I going to continue this lonely path, looking back seems lonely but just left farm few months ago, utterly disappointed in reminder of people's behaviour and why I left in first place.
Am I really going to miss anything, um?

 

[Alpha23]

When I was dating my future wife, I didn't know if I loved her or not. I was going through the appropriate procedures of spending time with her, and looking for compatibility/incompatibility issues, but there was no special feeling involved. As a Christian, I try to love everyone, but that's more of an attitude and decision than a feeling.
I resorted to projecting possible futures. When I played out the scenario of ceasing to see her, I was hit with such an extreme sense of loss, like a close friend or relative dying.
So like @Alpha23, the concept of losing her showed me that I did in fact love her deeply, and that the relationship was worth continuing.

Never happened in my past relations - every time I didn't see my partner, I was relieved and felt more in touch with myself. Now I've realized I'm entirely unable to love basically anything.
So very very different.

 

[Alpha23]

Looking back at my last decade as hermit, actually more like 15 years. I'm getting my first wrinkles and realise I'm old, that soon I'll be too old to date. Am I going to continue this lonely path, looking back seems lonely but just left farm few months ago, utterly disappointed in reminder of people's behaviour and why I left in first place.
Am I really going to miss anything, um?

If it was possible here in Germany I'd do that as well, but as pretty much everything is forbidden here, I've arranged with just keeping social contact to a minimum and only leave my apartment every couple of days to go shopping.

 

[jsilver256]

When I was dating my future wife, I didn't know if I loved her or not. I was going through the appropriate procedures of spending time with her, and looking for compatibility/incompatibility issues, but there was no special feeling involved. As a Christian, I try to love everyone, but that's more of an attitude and decision than a feeling.
I resorted to projecting possible futures. When I played out the scenario of ceasing to see her, I was hit with such an extreme sense of loss, like a close friend or relative dying.
So like @Alpha23, the concept of losing her showed me that I did in fact love her deeply, and that the relationship was worth continuing.

My therapist explained it to me like neurotypical people experience a base desire/craving for intimacy just as much as a person can feel hunger or thirst. The concept of intimacy is often foreign to autistics. It's like trying to explain vision to a blind person. But not experiencing intimacy doesn't equate to not loving.

 

[Jonn]

Never happened in my past relations - every time I didn't see my partner, I was relieved and felt more in touch with myself. Now I've realized I'm entirely unable to love basically anything.
So very very different.

Relationships are very demanding for some of us.
I can barely maintain my emotional stability when in a significant other relationship.
Intrusive thoughts wait for psychological instability to pounce.
It is critical not to let that happen.

Life is not easy for most ppl on the spectrum.

 

[Jonn]

If it was possible here in Germany I'd do that as well, but as pretty much everything is forbidden here, I've arranged with just keeping social contact to a minimum and only leave my apartment every couple of days to go shopping.

Same.
I cope much better with being a recluse.

 

[Alpha23]

My therapist explained it to me like neurotypical people experience a base desire/craving for intimacy just as much as a person can feel hunger or thirst. The concept of intimacy is often foreign to autistics. It's like trying to explain vision to a blind person. But not experiencing intimacy doesn't equate to not loving.

I might be extremely different to anyone else here then. I know Autism is rather based on distinction.

 

[Jonn]

My therapist explained it to me like neurotypical people experience a base desire/craving for intimacy just as much as a person can feel hunger or thirst. The concept of intimacy is often foreign to autistics. It's like trying to explain vision to a blind person. But not experiencing intimacy doesn't equate to not loving.

Noice.