Socially awkward men mistreated by women

[Bolletje]

Totally agreed and I've had to deal with it myself, but men can be just as bad, and they target much the same (perceived) insecurities.

Sure thing. I haven’t been targeted as much by men, but the times when I was hurt at least as much.

 

[OkRad]

I am not sure how to approach this thread.

 

[TempeFan]

You dont want to be defying stereotypes on this forum soon this thread will be overrun buy bunch of women who will say you misogynist and they probably report you to admin for a permanent ban this how things run in our society no one likes truth.
If you want an definite answer please google "Men rights movement" or "Migtow", there's tons of explanations.

Explanations or tons of excuses, bombast and pomposity? All genders deserve equal rights.

Aspies love truth, we're not so fond of foolish rants, though.

Seriously, mate. Stop being such a dick.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

All genders deserve equal rights.

This is what i am all about respect and transparency. I except facts from any source be it feminist or whoever if facts add up and verify of course and i am good at seeing whole picture so i don't buy false statistics.

You just all trying to engage into men vs women debate so badly at first opportunity because you used to hate and don't trust men, this is type of women current system creates regardless of aspie or not, give them false information about "male privilege" and "wage gap" and teach misandry and that men owe something to them. i'd like to know what's my male privilege is, cuz i clearly never experienced any privileges as being man only deprivations and humiliations i tried to google what "male privilege" is and all i find is bunch of generalizations and no real life examples.

 

[Adora]

I think both genders can be cruel,I have experienced cruelty from both men and women and have had guys take advantage of my social awkwardness and perceived naivety but women can still be cruel in some ways more than men and experience a lot of that while in school.

 

[Progster]

It can and does happen, I'm sure.

 

[AloneNotLonely]

Would love to join in the whole "Feminism debate" but I'll refrain from that here since it's not the politics forum and I don't want give poor Tree any more work.

You have to understand that people are nothing more than evolutionarily programmed computers. Women are programmed to scheme against and ostracize any man they consider a threat or not useful to women. For most of our evolutionary history, such men were a potential danger and in response women can be excessively cruel to those men that they do not consider a definite benefit for them. Physically they can't do much against a man, but socially they can get a man killed easily as a response to that.

It's not just "social awkwardness". Being socially awkward just means you have no clue how to navigate this maze of evolutionary hurdles, and when you stumble the women all take note and see you as a threat. Being very good looking can prevent this simply because they will consider you valuable genetic stock, and they will consider you to be beneficial. Just being ugly is also enough to have women decide you are a nonzero threat and not useful to have around, unless you can be very useful in other ways. Just being socially aware won't be enough in that case.

 

[pamelaperejil]

What constitutes mistreatment by women?

 

[Tom]

Just about everyone here has been bullied, picked on, etc. It can happen to anyone who stands out as different in some way.

Both males and females bully, and and they do so equally.

 

[Theta.G]

It's not much different from a story i heard a long time ago.

In a nightclub a guy approaches a woman and starts talking to her. He's handsome, confident and has a good smile. She accepts the invitation without a problem.

The same night moments before this a guy approaches her. Who is also handsome but a little socially awkward and not so confident. She rejects him and calls him a creep

You see an overwhelming majority of women go on what they FEEL. So if you don't have a good smile, social skills or can make them laugh you're not going to be making them "feel" comfortable. Some associate that feeling of being uncomfortable with things like disgust or disdain.

I use to have a lot of female friends and can confirm there have been an over whelming number of situations like this at the bar or nightclub. parties. In fact now that i think about it... A lot of females need a guy to tell them that another guy is cool / alright before they start treating them like a human being. (If that guy happens to be a "creep" / socially awkward, a bad smile or not funny). Not even talking about sex or dating just partying and hanging out. Lol

Alternatively, if you happen to have terrible luck and you try to converse with a pretty female with a massive ego well... then she'll likely rip you apart because you don't fit into her personal wants of a partner. ( First meet that is. Whether that one in particular is into muscle heads, rich dudes, or drug dealers. whatever) However if i was cool with her and i told her some nice things about you i guarantee the first the meet would be much better.

naive and gullible sums it up nicely.
Readers keep n mind I'm primarily talking about a certain demographic here. A certain type of woman.

@OrdinaryCitizen

Pull up the drawbridge!!
Man the cannons!!
summon the kraken!

 

[owlet]

I think socially awkward people are often mistreated by others, regardless of gender. I'm female and was largely bullied by my male classmates in school, as well as a male friend later on. I received some mistreatment by female classmates, but not to the same degree (and I was never mistreated by a female friend). That's just my personal experience with it - and it is down to personal experience because generalising this kind of thing is rarely useful and mostly ends up being an argument about 'which gender is worse' etc.

 

[Monachopia]

As some others have pointed out, I don't think this problem is gender specific, but we equate it to be because that is usually our only experience that we can draw from. Being socially awkward will just single you out, no matter what, and it's primal human nature to exert dominance over 'weaker' members of society.

Agreeing with @owlet, being a socially awkward female tended to lead to ridicule from men who assumed they're 'too good' to be seen talking to 'someone like me' and equally similar from women too. And if it's not outright verbal put-downs, then it's the 'pity look'. With that said, I saw equal derision given to socially awkward male peers who I only now have realised were on the spectrum. It's all a matter of perspective, but lets not get lost in the details and consider the larger human experience.

 

[Streetwise]

I'm not saying all the time but sometimes women treat socially awkward men like garbage but are never called out or vilified for it. Often they might even get a few laughs. And I'm not talking about mistreating socially awkward jerks but men who are shy or friendly but socially inept.

So a sweeping generalisation all women do that do they i dont agree some men are total dickheads but i dont say all

 

[megacomic]

I'm not saying all the time but sometimes women treat socially awkward men like garbage but are never called out or vilified for it.
I implied that some women do this. Also I'm having a hard time reading your response Streetwise.

 

[TempeFan]

It's not much different from a story i heard a long time ago. In a nightclub a guy approaches a woman and starts talking to her. He's handsome, confident and has a good smile. She accepts the invitation without a problem.

The same night moments before this a guy approaches her. Who is also handsome but a little socially awkward and not so confident. She rejects him and calls him a creep and to get tf out

Isn't that the one that ends with her being assulted because she chose the confident rapist over the socially awkward nice guy?

 

[Theta.G]

Isn't that the one that ends with her being assulted because she chose the confident rapist over the socially awkward nice guy?

Sounds about right xD

*Awaits a comment from someone saying hey not all confident guys are rapists!*

hahaha
(obviously)

 

[kbb0]

Isn't that the one that ends with her being assulted because she chose the confident rapist over the socially awkward nice guy?

Please do not joke about rape. As someone who has experienced sexual trauma, this kind of thinking that the woman deserved to be raped (or that the man is less of a man because he was raped) is very harmful. No one deserves for that to happen to them. Not even ableist jerks. Now if you want to make a joke about how rapists are disgusting and terrible I am all here for that.

Also I have been mistreated by both men and women pretty equally in terms of my autism. But, unrelated to my autism, the consequences of the terrible things men have done to me are much worse. Because of that I sometimes tend to be more wary of men (whether they are attractive or not), and those are stereotypes I have to fight every day in order not to be unfair to men. I have to remind myself what a good person my father is, and all the male friends I have who are extremely kind and good to me, and that helps me to remember that not all men are trying to hurt me and that I need to keep an open mind. Obviously based on your experiences women have hurt you more, so all I hope is that you fight the stereotypes you hold as well.

And I'm certainly not saying that the way women have treated you is okay because I'm sure there have been many who were very ableist towards you, just like I'm not excusing the behavior of the people who have wronged me. I'm sorry you've been treated badly. You should not have to know what that feels like.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I see the males opinions of females in general are no different here than they are on WP. Why do men find us so scary? After all, we're the "weaker" sex who can be easily manipulated, dominated, and abused because men are so big and powerful. Most of the people in my life who bullied and were cruel to me were GUYS. I was fat and weird and obsessed with cartoons, there was no forgiveness for my being "weak" due to being female. In fact I was probably treated worse because of it.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Seriously, mate. Stop being such a dick. Feminism is about gender equality, not dominance. Women deserve equal opportunities and treatment as men as a fundamental human right. Men still have the upper hand. "Men's Rights" is just a bunch of wet, ineffectual men who can't accept progress or equality.

Actually, when men today talk about distrusting/disliking feminists, they're talking about third-wave feminism, which started in the early 2000s when women in most developed countries had the exact same rights as men, but still complained for some odd reason. Basically any feminist who started being a feminist after 1999 has nothing rational to say, being either a self-entitled teenage girl at that particular time that she may have started calling herself a feminists. I'm not saying feminism is a bad thing now, but it could just be saved for women in developed countries such as those who are killed for not wanting to be forced into an arranged marriage due to religious laws. But probably not in the U.S. Also, third-wave feminists/SJWs DO want dominance. They even say they hate men, and basically want to put restrictions on men's rights. This is coming from a moderate teenager who knows something worth a darn when he sees it.

 

[TempeFan]

I'm sorry you've been treated badly. You should not have to know what that feels like.

Nor should you. I told the rest of that story not as a joke but as an illustration that people are not what they seem and you should not judge by first impressions. This thread asks why cruel women are not punished for rejecting socially awkward men. Some times what goes around comes around and they are. Undeservedly, bad things happen to good people and vice versa.

People who use the wrong criteria to chose their friends and lovers are missing out on finding the best mate.