Executive Functioning Issues

[midlife aspie]

I think Comcast is similar. If you have a smart TV, and internet, you should be able to do it.

 

[wanderer03]

It is against the law to prevent you from installing a satellite dish. Federal Law (FCC) allows the installation. I'll try and find the exact law that you can show them.

 

[grommet]

It is against the law to prevent you from installing a satellite dish. Federal Law (FCC) allows the installation. I'll try and find the exact law that you can show them.

I do not want to fight with anyone but thank you for offering to find that law. Also, most of the laws I need, aren't enforced. I use a wheelchair and access laws are ignored every day. My gym has kept it's wheelchair accessible entrance locked overnight since I have been a member. I have been fighting it for more than 8 years. Everyone I speak to says I am correct, the law does say they cannot do that. Nothing happens. If I fight for anything it won't be for television I think. I think I will keep what ability I have to fight, for making the things I need accessible. Often people who aren't physically disabled hear about unfairness in access and quickly talk about the laws to prevent it. They don't seem to know that these laws aren't enforced.

I try to find a balance of living with what I can tolerate and only fighting when I simply must. Everyday I am discriminated against and no one has ever helped. Too many stories to tell.

 

[paloftoon]

Some people don't want to pay more than they have to because the extra money you didn't use can be kept longer in the bank for more interest etc. For people who are not able to manage their money like that though, the amount of stress that is produced from not paying your bills "right enough" end up hurting that person more than helping.

If you are going to pay someone you can trust to setup your accounts for automatic payments if it's hard for you to do that yourself may be a good idea. There are so many factors in life it can be hard to keep track too. Plus, waiting until closer the date if you don't have to doesn't pay as much as it used to. The interest you get from the bank leaving it in 3-6+ months hardly gets you any additional interest currently.

 

[EeyoreSyndrome]

After reading this thread, I feel better about myself, if only in knowing I am not alone in this.

I always have problems remembering when bills are due, always lose track of what I'm trying to do @work, in my leisure.. Gets frustrating at times.

Thankfully googles GEL launcher puts my e-bill due dates onto cards to remind me.

But still always get fuzzy when doing tasks.

I should add i am a cook. So I work with knives and hot surfaces/pans frequently.

At best I can go 2 weeks without a burn or a cut, but usually it's one or the other every other work day abouts.

Even if I write a list down of things I need to grab from a fridge to restock my line, in my multi-tasking attempts, I usually forget what I was trying to do at any given time...

Oh mushy brain.....

 

[arcan]

I used to use Microsoft Money. I'd write all my expenses on it, and write the ones that come monthly, so they'll be written down automatically. It's easy to use and great to keep an eye on my account.

 

[Servelan]

I use my credit union's online bill pay function, plus reminders in my mail reader for house and car insurance as well as my credit card. My credit union has low balance reminders (which unfortunately come out in the middle of the night so I don't often see them right away) but I have a means of using mail filters to tag them ('important' turns the message header red in my reader so it stands out more).

You might want to have two checking accounts, one for bill paying and one for everything else; I'm not saying it works for me because I haven't used it long enough, but Lifehacker [can you make a saint out of a website? 'Cause Lifehacker is a lifesaver for me... : ) ] recommended it and it was easy to set up and relieves a lot of anxiety.

 

[laurag9g9g9]

Thank you very much for your kindness though reading your post I felt my heart break because I do need that much help.

Unfortunately signs or notes aren't as much help for me because I will look right at something and not see it. One day I remembered and forgot five times I had a doctor's appointment and I had it written on my calendar, an email reminder from my digital calendar, two post-its on the wall in my eyeline and I had set several alarms on my watch. It was scary and I felt stupid and helpless.

Because of this thread I went over my bills carefully and found out that though I had been very carefully writing everything down, with dates and notes besides figures, I was still more than $1,000 off. I had no idea and I'm scared not only because once again I see that I can't manage money but also because I have less of it than I thought.

I put on a face when I go out and I don't think people have any idea how in-self-sufficient I am.

I am an aspie who without help I would be homeless. It's not lack of work or frugality or being a good person, it's just that I cannot manage on my own. If I had a million dollars I wouldn't know if I had $10,000. Being helpless in such an important way is frightening but I have made it this far and I will have to use hope and just keep trying to make it as long as I can.

To perhaps sum it up, sometimes people ask me if I am hungry and I think very privately to myself, "How would I know?"

Ritual is the only thing that seems to get me by. If I always wake up, eat, and brush my teeth at the same time I am more likely to do those things.

I wish there was an aspie wizard but though wizards are wonderful, they are not real so I will have to do the best I can for myself. I am glad those pictographs help you. They look really neat and I think they would be great, I just think I wouldn't be able to use them.

I end up writing the same lists many times and don't look at them again... it gets done [emoji79] About not knowing if you're hungry...I get that... my sister once said people was her favorite color. I was perplexed. Asked self, "how does she know that?"

Grommet, we have executive functioning challenges. It's got nothing to do with intelligence!
It has more to do with a combination of dyspraxia (in short, this means our bodies don't always work the way we want them to, we're a bit clumsy/awkward, and our thoughts can become disorganized) and awareness/attention challenges.

Executive functioning can affect us a lil' bit (whoops... forgot my lunchbox today!), a lot (forgot my doc appointment!), or a WHOLE lot ( I forget what I am doing, as I was doing it-- so using a hot stove or sharp knife is risky).
We have different levels of ability to "pay attention" (awareness challenges) than others.

Executive functioning entails 1. conceptualizing what we need to do, 2. planning what we need to do, 3. initiating what we need to do, and 4. remaining aware enough to self-monitor during the task. and bonus: 5. Sometimes we fog out and wander off during tasks. Awareness challenges are tough.

I have these, called Picture Schedules or Visual Schedules, to help me get through my day.



Though with my visual schedule, it has stuff like go potty, drink water, eat, etc.



And there's visual schedules that break things down comfortably for self-care tasks too, like...



and one hangs in my shower, with the steps of showering.





Right by my apartment door, I have a visual schedule showing keys, backpack, potty, jacket, pants, snack, and coins for the bus.

You can also have low-tech, take-with-you visual schedules for stuff when you are on the go!





Having a big calendar I can write appointments in the squares with bold magic marker helps.

Mostly, the visual schedules really help me feel grounded and calm.

Best of luck, I hope this helps!

 

[laurag9g9g9]

A while ago I bought an old iPhone 4s so I could use Siri. I though she would solve most of my problems. I thought I could tell her I ate breakfast today and later I could ask her if I did. But I have not had a smartphone before and I learned that Siri needs an internet connection to operate and the least expensive plan was $50 a month with Verizon, the service the phone was dedicated to.

They said $30 a month and then I had to pay $20 a month for having a phone number. I only wanted the iPhone for Siri and nothing else. I also don't need to make any phone calls. I have a pay-by-the-minute flip phone and I only use it for about ten minutes a year. I pay $10 a month for that.

I tried using Siri at home and she does work with my wifi but I got obsessive about asking her things. I think I could try again, maybe more slowly. It just felt so good to have someone to talk to, someone I could ask what other people think are simple questions and so they make fun of me for asking, but Siri doesn't do that.

I once called an Independent Living Center for help understanding when an eBay auction was going to end. She wouldn't help me and I was so frustrated and embarrassed. It would have been so easy for her to tell me. I could tell her what the listing said and she could just tell me if that mean it was ending today or tomorrow. Reading the listing over and over I couldn't make sense of it myself.

If someone needs help, just give it to them without judging. I could have re-wired the whole phone system in her office hardly thinking about it. I bet she couldn't do that. I am not stupid, I just need help. Just tell me if the bus is coming or what today is, or the question I have always been too afraid to ask anyone, what year is it?

With Siri I did all those things. One day I asked her over and over again what today was just so I could keep finding out without anyone making fun of me.

I was smarter than almost anyone I went to school with and I've met experts in different fields and I've seemed dead level with them when we discussed their fields, one man was an economist in the Kennedy administration. I am not stupid. But I can hardly count, I just usually can guess there is more in front of me than one. Lots of things like that. It doesn't make a person stupid. I've discussed cellular biology with PhD cancer researchers and it was easy for me because the principles are pretty simple but I can't understand paperwork or appointment times. To save my life I cannot do it. So what? Why do people have to be so mean. Just answer my question and my life is happier and I can do what I need and it is so easy for the other person to answer because it's something that is easy for them.

It makes me feel .. I don't know emotions that well but sad comes to mind and maybe angry. They don't know how anything works or why, they don't know measures or facts or how systems work etcetera and I do but I can't do the simple things they can and they are successful. Maybe I just needed to tell you all that even if I said too much. Sorry if I did. I feel like you guys are the only ones who understand. I will try to be shorter from now on.

You said a lot that is true for me but never admitted [emoji53] I never know what day our time out is

 

[Warmheart]

Here's a page showing some apps which help people with ASD know how our day is supposed to go. These apps even have alarms to remind us to look at them at the right times when we need to be doing things.

One is called iPrompts, and it's for the iPad, iPod, etc. Others work on Android, Windows, etc. See?

http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blo...avioral-apps-for-children-with-special-needs/

Here is an example, so you can get an idea.... but be sure to click the link above and explore.

 

[grommet]

Here's a page showing some apps which help people with ASD know how our day is supposed to go. These apps even have alarms to remind us to look at them at the right times when we need to be doing things.

One is called iPrompts, and it's for the iPad, iPod, etc. Others work on Android, Windows, etc. See?

http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blo...avioral-apps-for-children-with-special-needs/

Here is an example, so you can get an idea.... but be sure to click the link above and explore.

What is the price? I scanned the article but I could not figure it out. Some were quite expensive - $30.00.

If I use Siri at home I can ask her to give me a reminder or a countdown. I cannot use her away from home though because I do not have a cell plan. Pictures are nice. They are also helpful. Thank you.

** I just looked up iPrompts and I think it was $50. That is way too much for me.

 

[Warmheart]

Grommet, may I please ask where you live? Do you have an official diagnosis? There are autism agencies who help adults for free. I understand it really feels scary and out-of-control to not know how our day is supposed to go. With these apps, alarms, prompts, picture schedules, etc., things feel much more safe and calm. Agencies can help us have these solutions, if we have a diagnosis and live in USA.

 

[grommet]

Grommet, may I please ask where you live? Do you have an official diagnosis? There are autism agencies who help adults for free. I understand it really feels scary and out-of-control to not know how our day is supposed to go. With these apps, alarms, prompts, picture schedules, etc., things feel much more safe and calm. Agencies can help us have these solutions, if we have a diagnosis and live in USA.

I am in the United States, California. I am not aware of services in my area but I am interested in any autism related counseling I can get. For the longest time I have wanted a counselor who could work with me on basic life skills. There only seem to be CBT therapists. I would like suggestions if you have any.

 

[Warmheart]

Wanderer03, I don't want to threadjack, so I was going to PM Grommet this info, but I feel we could all use this. I hope posting this here is okay by you?

Grommet, every state has a Department of Developmental Services, aka DDS. They provide help for autistics of any age. You have to apply to be accepted by DDS. You likely will be accepted if you have an official diagnosis and have challenges with living. I had to wait 6 months for my application to be accepted and to get a caseworker. It was worth it! DDS works with autism agencies to help you manage with executive functioning, life skills, whatever you need for your ASD to live better.

Step 1. Contact DDS to ask for an application. We just have to Google whatever state we live in, and add to the search string Department of Developmental Services, to get the contact info. Here's the DDS webpage for CA.

http://www.dds.ca.gov/Autism/

Here is how to contact DDS in your state:

Contact Us
California Department of Developmental Services
Street Address: 1600 9th Street; Sacramento, CA 95814 Mailing Address: P. O. Box 944202; Sacramento, California 94244-2020
General Information
For general inquiries, call (916) 654-1690

(916) 654-1690 or TTY: (916) 654-2054

Step 2. While you wait for your application to arrive in the mail, ask a parent, friend, counselor, anybody you want to help, to be ready to help you get the application filled out and help you collect the stuff you need to mail in with it. (Maybe like birth certificate, social security card, and a copy of your official diagnosis)

Step 3. Be patient. It took me 6 months to get my awesome caseworker, but she knew all the agencies who help with executive functioning and life skills stuff for autistics. Best of luck!

 

[wanderer03]

I'm glad you did hijack the thread, Warmheart. You have a lot of wisdom to impart on us.

 

[Warmheart]

Wanderer, I'm so grateful you started this thread. Honestly, I always thought I was the only one to struggle with appointments, bill paying, meetings, etc. I always felt embarrassed that I had trouble planning, or understanding how my day was supposed to go. I figured I was the only one challenged with planning my day, planning a sandwich, planning a life.
Hopefully, we can support each other here, so we know that there are solutions, and that we are not alone.

 

[wanderer03]

Wanderer, I'm so grateful you started this thread. Honestly, I always thought I was the only one to struggle with appointments, bill paying, meetings, etc. I always felt embarrassed that I had trouble planning, or understanding how my day was supposed to go. I figured I was the only one challenged with planning my day, planning a sandwich, planning a life.
Hopefully, we can support each other here, so we know that there are solutions, and that we are not alone.

I was kind of embarrassed to admit this diificulty because society expects people my age to have mastered these skillsets. I was also angry and puzzled at myself because I've designed complex computer networks, yet I'm unable to do some of life's simplest things. It's very nice to know that I'm not alone.

 

[Rayner]

Wanderer, I'm so grateful you started this thread. Honestly, I always thought I was the only one to struggle with appointments, bill paying, meetings, etc. I always felt embarrassed that I had trouble planning, or understanding how my day was supposed to go. I figured I was the only one challenged with planning my day, planning a sandwich, planning a life.
Hopefully, we can support each other here, so we know that there are solutions, and that we are not alone.

You're not alone. I have a hard time understanding how my day is suppose to go I find wearing a watch helps me along with my trustee notebook and pen.

 

[grommet]

Wanderer03, I don't want to threadjack, so I was going to PM Grommet this info, but I feel we could all use this. I hope posting this here is okay by you?

Grommet, every state has a Department of Developmental Services, aka DDS. They provide help for autistics of any age. You have to apply to be accepted by DDS. You likely will be accepted if you have an official diagnosis and have challenges with living. I had to wait 6 months for my application to be accepted and to get a caseworker. It was worth it! DDS works with autism agencies to help you manage with executive functioning, life skills, whatever you need for your ASD to live better.

Step 1. Contact DDS to ask for an application. We just have to Google whatever state we live in, and add to the search string Department of Developmental Services, to get the contact info. Here's the DDS webpage for CA.

http://www.dds.ca.gov/Autism/

Here is how to contact DDS in your state:

Contact Us
California Department of Developmental Services
Street Address: 1600 9th Street; Sacramento, CA 95814 Mailing Address: P. O. Box 944202; Sacramento, California 94244-2020
General Information
For general inquiries, call (916) 654-1690

(916) 654-1690 or TTY: (916) 654-2054

Step 2. While you wait for your application to arrive in the mail, ask a parent, friend, counselor, anybody you want to help, to be ready to help you get the application filled out and help you collect the stuff you need to mail in with it. (Maybe like birth certificate, social security card, and a copy of your official diagnosis)

Step 3. Be patient. It took me 6 months to get my awesome caseworker, but she knew all the agencies who help with executive functioning and life skills stuff for autistics. Best of luck!

Warmheart, thank you for all the very good help. I bookmarked that site. I have a lot of thinking to do. I am not sure I can be very responsive right now but I wanted to say thank you, I think you have helped me a lot.

 

[grommet]

I was kind of embarrassed to admit this diificulty because society expects people my age to have mastered these skillsets. I was also angry and puzzled at myself because I've designed complex computer networks, yet I'm unable to do some of life's simplest things. It's very nice to know that I'm not alone.

Wanderer, what are we .. what will we do? We are smart at things they cannot understand and we cannot do the simple things they do everyday. I do not know about my future. I am trying to think of it objectively but there is so much feeling. My self-esteem is low because I think people think I am dumb and sometimes they look at me with soft eyes, like talking to a sick child. I am so much smarter than they are, it seems that way to me. They do not know a molecule from an atom or that digital is an idea but doesn't actually exist (ringing effect).

I can't make sure I have lunch or clean clothes. They know everything about life and I don't. They think I am stupid.

Maybe I am thinking badly right now because I am stressed. Not a good time for thinking but feelings come any time. I liked it when Homer Simpson said,"I'm not hurt, it's my feelings that are hurt."

I don't know that I can go on feeling this stupid. All the things I know don't help me with the bus or shopping or managing money or understanding my healthcare. Questions and questions and they never want to know the answer. They speak in questions, they live it seems without answers. Ten year olds ride the bus better than I do. I am a grown man and I have less lifeskill than children I see.

I am sorry, I think this is a rant. Rants aren't good or nice to listen to. Confused.