What stage do you feel it's was the most difficult one; childhood, adolescence, or adulthood?

[watersprite]

Larisa you're strong to have gone through that. I've walked off of jobs never to return, just could not handle the combination of work + social + sensory. Life for me has been in the words of relatives, "not successful, a disappointment" but has included several adventures and I hope to be able make a few more good, creative things happen before I get old.

 

[sabrdawg]

I'd say for me, most of the stages of life have gone pretty smoothly. At 32, I'd say I'm developmentally in the adolescent stage. When I was a chronological adolescent, I didn't go through the phases my peers did. However, I'm not going through them now, either. I've always been secure in who I am. I say I'm emotionally an adolescent now because I'd developmentally peg myself at about 16-20. I'm def still a kid, and am learning a lot about myself. The only things that are hard about the stage I'm chronologically in, young adulthood, are the fact that people expect me to act older than I feel, and I sometimes don't get looked at the same way I feel.

 

[stigmatic]

Its tough to pick really. When I was in high school I mainly kept to myself and was afraid of a lot of people. I feel like young adulthood has been rough on me because I think I act a LOT younger than how I should and other people tell me that and so the stress of everyone telling you to not act yourself because you act too immature and trying to find a girlfriend is really hard. Especially since I went through high school without one and my first ever relationship was utter crap and sometimes because of this I just feel like I'm a big screw up.

 

[sabrdawg]

I'm not even interested in dating. I'm aromantic and asexual. I hear ya on people telling you that you act too immature. While I don't get told that a whole lot, I sometimes feel like people expect me to act all grown up and boring. That's just not me. I still feel like a teenager, so I'm naturally going to act like one

 

[Larisa]

Larisa you're strong to have gone through that. I've walked off of jobs never to return, just could not handle the combination of work + social + sensory. Life for me has been in the words of relatives, "not successful, a disappointment" but has included several adventures and I hope to be able make a few more good, creative things happen before I get old.

Thank you but I really ain't strong or anything.
I had no support in my family and I knew early that I had to rely only on myself in the world. I think it's the very thought that makes people depressed and desperate. Although there is difference between 'rely on myself' and 'be absolutely on my own'. I was lucky to meet people from whom I got support if only by their words or their deeds and decisions in their own life.
I met a friend in my school and her parents eventually 'adopted' me in many aspects like listening to me, mentally supporting me, expressing their faith that I'll make through my problems.
But I had only me to rely on and make decisions every day.
During 11 years of my working life now it's my seventh employer. I twice walked off jobs to make vacations for myself - for 4 months and later for 6 months. I was fired once (with all the department I had worked in), three of my employers ceased to exist (and one of them did not paid a wage to office workers (including me) for 5 months).
I think I wouldn't go to work if I had other means of subsistence. So it's a choice between working and committing suicide for me - and I choose my life with her possibilities and working, and making vacations for myself on my savings between my jobs.
I'm terribly scared to search for a new job and it's very hard for me to work because of discomfort and stress from communications with other people around. Now I have a coworker who shares an office room with me - she is a great person, she takes the most of work load. But I can not concentrate on doing my work when anyone is nearby: breathing, moving, speaking, asking something.
I make myself to be considerable of others and remind myself that I had not coped with the work load before her. But as I'm doing that I have no strenght to really do the rest of the job.
I got a lot of psychological help (I went to a psychologist as soon as I could afford it), so I'm trying to learn what is that I need to have strenght to go on. What is it that's interesting for me in the world right now. What is it that is interesting for me to do periodically.
I admit there are the scales between my discomfort of dealing with most of other people - and my interest in living and exploring the world and myself in it through people I care for.
So I try to achieve balance between these scale pans to the best of my abilities.

 

[Aurore]

I'm not even interested in dating. I'm aromantic and asexual. I hear ya on people telling you that you act too immature. While I don't get told that a whole lot, I sometimes feel like people expect me to act all grown up and boring. That's just not me. I still feel like a teenager, so I'm naturally going to act like one

I'm aromantic and asexuel too and I don't think I'm very "adult" in my head! I'm not looking for responsibilities, my hobbies are quite the same that when I was young and I'm not dreaming about having a family! To be honest, this idea totally freaks me out!

Childhood wasn't the worse part of my life, probably because I grew up in a very small village (200 inhabitants). It was nice, pleasant, I loved my teacher (I had the same during 5 years)... I didn't have a lot of friends but it was ok, I had good relationship with my classmates. The shock was quite hard when I arrived in a bigger city. In my tiny village, I was ranked first of my class. After, I was the last! It was too big, too noisy, my classmates were bad manners, it was awful. My first year in this new city was a disaster, so my parents registered me at a private school. Well... It was better but I didn't like it either. I didn't like the atmosphere. I was surrounded by rich girls (it was a non-mixed high school) and I was judged because I was too different from them. Not just for the money thing, but because I was quiet, discreet, and because I loved being alone. For them, I was the snobby one (it was quite funny because all these girls were from well-to-do backgrounds!!)... I tried to hang out with other girls like me (one had a genetic disorder and was rejected from others...). I was "persecuted" by the teachers (maybe the word is too extreme but it was my feeling at the time) because they absolutely wanted that I acted like the others... They said horrible things about my parents, they thought they didn't allow me to have friends... My father was a a prison warden so they imagined a lot of horrible stuff!! I was so happy when this thing has been over.

I enjoy being adult (even if I'm not very "adult" in my head). The liberty, the independence... What a relief!

 

[sabrdawg]

You sound pretty awesome to me

 

[On the Inside]

I enjoy being adult (even if I'm not very "adult" in my head). The liberty, the independence... What a relief!

I think you can remain happy if you keep following the route of minimal responsibilities, I've known two people, a friend and my uncle with ASD, and both manage well keeping their involvement with other people to friendships, living in small apartments they can easily afford, etc.

Good for you!

 

[musclecarman]

I am grateful that I was diagnosed when I was a toddler I say thanks for my mum for the hard work she did and is still doing.
but my early childhood was a bit bad well mainly because my primary school teacher didn't understand at the time. I was treated like I was a bad child.

 

[musclecarman]

im lucky to have a family that is willing to help me so my brain gets the best use to society

 

[sabrdawg]

My family is very supportive, too. For many years my dad seemed to be in a hurry for me to grow up. He didn't understand that I'm developmentally young for my age. Once I finally got my diagnosis, he seemed to have a better understanding of me.

 

[musclecarman]

My family is very supportive, too. For many years my dad seemed to be in a hurry for me to grow up. He didn't understand that I'm developmentally young for my age. Once I finally got my diagnosis, he seemed to have a better understanding of me.

by the way hit reply it adds in a quote so people understand who you're replying to.

 

[sabrdawg]

I don't think it lets me on the app :/

 

[KinksFan]

Childhood and adolescence were the hardest time for me. I was verbally abused for doing things that seemed autistic, such as going on about a favourite topic, jumping up when being talked to or not giving enough eye-contact. The worst time of that period was when I was between the ages 10 and 13. My parents made me hate the USA and they made it clear that they were embarrassed that I speak with a Cockney accent. I've attempted suicide at the age of 14 by drinking an entire bottle of Vick's oil that was meant to be used for vaporizers, due to all that I was put through since I've started talking full sentences at the age of 5.

I'm glad that I've made it to 40, and I'm happy to be alive for the most part.

 

[sabrdawg]

Aha! I got the reply thingy to work I'm glad you're here, too! It must be rough to have people criticize you for only acting naturally.

 

[musclecarman]

Childhood and adolescence were the hardest time for me. I was verbally abused for doing things that seemed autistic, such as going on about a favourite topic, jumping up when being talked to or not giving enough eye-contact. The worst time of that period was when I was between the ages 10 and 13. My parents made me hate the USA and they made it clear that they were embarrassed that I speak with a Cockney accent. I've attempted suicide at the age of 14 by drinking an entire bottle of Vick's oil that was meant to be used for vaporizers, due to all that I was put through since I've started talking full sentences at the age of 5.

I'm glad that I've made it to 40, and I'm happy to be alive for the most part.

wow shows you what happens when people don't understand I'm grateful my mum diagnosed me when I was young.

 

[Larisa]

For me I think the most difficult stage it was the one that goes from childhood to adolescence, because I haven't go trough adulthood yet, but I think this would be the most difficult one if I have been going through because been an adult it's way to much for and aspie; living alone, do chores, work, cook, be clean, sexually needs, socialization, etc.

Concerning difficulties of adult life - I think there are many options.
As I've noticed in your message that you made introduction to your query - and it's one quarter of socializing trick in my opinion (to realize what part of information is new for other people), you are capable of asking questions about information you need (that's also one quarter), another one quarter is a job qualification (and that's education for) and the last one - is pure human communication like face expressions, gestures, movements and so on.
I mostly lack the last from the list but I manage by asking questions (because even NT can miss something and ask to clarify - why shouldn't I do the same?) and accepting that most part of people-related information (like their personal life or relationship between each other and such) I miss totally. But, honestly, that sort of information changes so quickly, I don't really think it to be important to know about people I barely contact personally. I keep tabs on people I contact a lot.
For communication in the group I use my understanding what kind of relationship connects me to every person from the group.
Actually it's a working etiquette - to not base my attitude to a colleague on my knowldge about her/his personal relationship with someone else. For me it just comes naturally - since I don't know it anyway
But the other side of not knowing 'who is close to whom' is that I have to be very acurate about my words - to not show being upset (and speak aloud) with persons but - with tasks that were not done properly (impersonally). That evokes other people's sympathy to me - but being angry with someone personally may get me an unexpected enemy because of interpersonal relationship I'm not aware of.
Actually everything else besides work is mostly optional: like I hate cooking (I can cook chicken, rice and buckwheat. I can chop tomatoes and cucumbers for a salade, and really I don't need much more), be clean mostly gets along with my sense of myself - it's not a chore for me (unless I'm tired), living alone - I learnt and got to love it, sexually needs - I haven't yet met a person I would feel comfortable around and interested in trying it but I'm not obsessed with the fact (if I meet someone like this - it's fine, if not - I'll live just fine without) and so on.
It's your life to live and fill it with whatever you feel like doing.

 

[Lena_C]

Age 11-21

 

[sabrdawg]

Concerning difficulties of adult life - I think there are many options.
As I've noticed in your message that you made introduction to your query - and it's one quarter of socializing trick in my opinion (to realize what part of information is new for other people), you are capable of asking questions about information you need (that's also one quarter), another one quarter is a job qualification (and that's education for) and the last one - is pure human communication like face expressions, gestures, movements and so on.
I mostly lack the last from the list but I manage by asking questions (because even NT can miss something and ask to clarify - why shouldn't I do the same?) and accepting that most part of people-related information (like their personal life or relationship between each other and such) I miss totally. But, honestly, that sort of information changes so quickly, I don't really think it to be important to know about people I barely contact personally. I keep tabs on people I contact a lot.
For communication in the group I use my understanding what kind of relationship connects me to every person from the group.
Actually it's a working etiquette - to not base my attitude to a colleague on my knowldge about her/his personal relationship with someone else. For me it just comes naturally - since I don't know it anyway
But the other side of not knowing 'who is close to whom' is that I have to be very acurate about my words - to not show being upset (and speak aloud) with persons but - with tasks that were not done properly (impersonally). That evokes other people's sympathy to me - but being angry with someone personally may get me an unexpected enemy because of interpersonal relationship I'm not aware of.
Actually everything else besides work is mostly optional: like I hate cooking (I can cook chicken, rice and buckwheat. I can chop tomatoes and cucumbers for a salade, and really I don't need much more), be clean mostly gets along with my sense of myself - it's not a chore for me (unless I'm tired), living alone - I learnt and got to love it, sexually needs - I haven't yet met a person I would feel comfortable around and interested in trying it but I'm not obsessed with the fact (if I meet someone like this - it's fine, if not - I'll live just fine without) and so on.
It's your life to live and fill it with whatever you feel like doing.

As far as the whole "adulting" thing goes, I'm not ready for it. Working and coming home with minimal responsibilities to tend to is enough for me to handle right now. As for cooking, I can do it, but I hate it. Keeping clean has always come naturally to me; I hate feeling icky. I'm asexual, so no needs there, thank goodness. I'm rather repulsed by the idea. It's not a necessity to live on one's own, anyway. Managing an apartment would be biting off more than I can chew right now. I'm glad I still live at home.

 

[Progster]

So far, 10 to about 25. I'm not looking forward to old age though, I think that could be very lonely and difficult.