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What stage do you feel it's was the most difficult one; childhood, adolescence, or adulthood?

SusAssasins

Well-Known Member
Hi, here again with a new thread: "What stage do you feel it's was the most difficult one; childhood, adolescence, or adulthood?" or some in between, I was wondering this 'cause a week ago my mom told me that I was an accident, this make me reconsider my whole life and realize that when I was a child all this isolation and depression problems come to life, well on "The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome" of Tony Attwood, he also notice this but I haven't thought of this deeply until now, I have always said that I don't have friends, and it's indeed true I don't have friends if you take this as people to talk to you everyday, and who you matter to, well at least that what my school consolers have told me and make me believe, I have friends but not in this context; they are people I fit with cause they are all different and accept me as one of them, still they make me apart some times but was ok for me 'cause they still used to talk me until we all went to different High Schools, then we all stop talking to each other, and live our own path, still I wish them happy birthday when it comes the date but that's all, they have never wish me happy birthday not even when we where on person facing each other and neither now on Facebook.
For me I think the most difficult stage it was the one that goes from childhood to adolescence, because I haven't go trough adulthood yet, but I think this would be the most difficult one if I have been going through because been an adult it's way to much for and aspie; living alone, do chores, work, cook, be clean, sexually needs, socialization, etc.
 
Asperger's is tough on young people. For me the hardest part was from teen to young adult years. I do think that it is important for young Aspies to be consoled so that they can better learn to adjust to their weakness's and better take advantage of their considerable strengths. We are all different, but for me it got easier as I got older. Now I like being a Aspie, I just can't imagine thinking like a NT. For a young person such as yourself, learn to take advantage of your strengths, go to school as long as you can and know that in all likelihood, things will get better. Stay positive!
 
Childhood was worse for me. Every day of school was pure stress. I would never want to relive those years. High school was better. I made lots of friends and had a good time partying. As a 45 year old I have learned to enjoy my life and I even do public speaking in different churches. You may be young and going through tough times but it will get better. As you get older you learn to cope better and get a handle on your strengths and weaknesses.
 
Adulthood, because I can understand, recall and rehash how miserable my entire life as an Aspie has been. I will be 71 in April and didn't learn that I was an Aspie until I was in my 60s. Prior to that all I knew was that I was weird and disliked and believed all the people who told me I was nasty, bad, irritating, deliberately negative, etc.
 
For me, each period of time present(ed) unique and different issues/problems.

Childhood and adolescence may have been the been the worst, overall, as I could not defend myself truly in any manner.

As an adult I have far more capabilities as to choose what I believe is best for myself and act on it, whom I do not wish to be around and whether or not I want to be fully active in society or not (I choose "not").
 
I hate when people say a child is an accident. Were they walking around naked one day and one of them tripped and fell on the other? If I put a helmet on and run head first into a wall I wouldn't say I got a concussion by accident.
 
I wish I'd gotten the diagnosis when I was a kid (I didn't mine until I was nearly 23), because then I wouldn't have had so many social problems in middle and high school. I had some friends, but I spent a lot of time holed up in my room doing schoolwork. And now I spend a lot of time holed up in my apartment on the internet and watching TV.
 
For me, it was adolescence. Even though the events that happened since are far worse than the events that happened then, I was diagnosed at 18, which helped. Adolescence was terrible because I was not understood, nor did i understand the world, or anyone in it. I was in the darkest place I have ever been, and would not wish it upon anyone.
 
Sorry that post didn't actually answer your question. I have a tendency to focus on one detail and ignore the big picture (not sure where I get that from).

For me it was late teens to early adulthood. As an adult I have more control over my life. Everything is much better now.
 
I was told by my mother that I was a desired child but turned out to be of non-desired sex. It happens.
Concerning the periods of my life: childhood was terrible because of my vulnerability before my parents who hurt me the most and I could neither stop them nor get a comfortable for me distance from them.
Adolescence was difficult because I felt like fallen into the world I really could not understand and children of my age have suddenly grown and changed but I stayed the same as before. I felt childish and stupid at every my move made or the word said. It took a lot of time before I had enough observations and analyzing for me to start sensing 'ground under my feet'.
Adulthood is curious and nervous for me: for I have a responsibility and interest to live my life the way to not feel regrets later. It's a challenge to understand in advance what is it what I would have really regretted.
It's easy to believe that everyone says about 'to try to sample everything in the life' but my own wishes differ very much from 'normal' ones.
 
My childhood was when problems were at their peak. There were some things going on at home between my parents, and a huge change in routine (which sucked) came when my mum moved out. Then there were the typical social problems at school, and the whole "weird" and "freak" insults going on.
Things got easier in high school, when I found awesome friends, and took it upon myself to research asperger's syndrome, when my mum got internet connection put up in the house. I wound up changing from being depressed, to being way, way more optimistic. :)
 
From the moment I left home for the big wide world I realised that my former years had been easy in comparison. Suddenly, I was responsible for everything I did or needed, no support and no idea. A great deal of luck bailed me out.
 
What had been considered just quirks and shyness in my childhood, did not carry over well into my teenage years - I didn't exactly adapt and I felt distanced from most things. Despite college being a somewhat happier time, I retained a level of detachement. Now I'll just have to see what adulthood will bring.
 
For me it's adulthood. Made a major mistake due to my inability to assess people. At the time I did not know I as an aspie. Ended up in a nasty, vicious legal situation. I won the important part of it after 3 grueling years but at great cost to my, well, my everything. Glad that book is closed.
 
For me it's adulthood. Made a major mistake due to my inability to assess people. At the time I did not know I as an aspie. Ended up in a nasty, vicious legal situation. I won the important part of it after 3 grueling years but at great cost to my, well, my everything. Glad that book is closed.
I feel for you
At my first working place I felt so unsure of everything and was scared to make enemies, that I almost signed to stand as guarantor for a pro sales manager from my office for her mortgage. It was my boss (chief accountant) who stopped the deal and was furious at the woman and she was really upset with my naivety.
 
I feel for you
At my first working place I felt so unsure of everything and was scared to make enemies, that I almost signed to stand as guarantor for a pro sales manager from my office for her mortgage. It was my boss (chief accountant) who stopped the deal and was furious at the woman and she was really upset with my naivety.
Thank you. And thank goodness your boss stepped in and stopped that.
 
Ages 11 to 17 were pretty much a social catastrophe for me. Not sure how I even made it this far nearly to retirement.
 
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The teenage years were pretty hard for me. From right when I turned 13 up until my high school graduation was pretty torturous, with small, sparsely distributed pockets of light that made me survive. Abuse from one side of my family, being kept from contacting the other, misunderstood words, being unable to express myself, the old shame of wanting to suck up and fit in so badly, the whole gamut. Puberty did not do me well, but things have settled down a bit since.

As for now-a-days I'm a bit uncertain of what the future holds, but trying to keep optimistic.
 
Adulthood, hands down. While I knew I was different from others as a kid, I had a few friends who were interested in the things I was intensely interested in, so I felt a part of a group. I was pretty much left to my own devices as long as I stayed out of trouble and did well in school. My parents were lenient with me, I was no trouble compared to my older sisters. And social issues didn't seem to be much of a problem, I wasn't too aware of them. I guess I had a pretty sheltered life.

I really have trouble seeing how poorly I compare with my peer group, if you'd call it that. I feel I don't fit in anywhere as an adult, am far more isolated than I've ever been, even when I wanted to be alone. I get by, but even my old goofball friends have managed to create decent lives for themselves, while I struggle year after year, and feel like it's not just falling behind, but falling off.

Sorry for the downer reply, just my experiences. I do have hope for the future.
 
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Thank you. And thank goodness your boss stepped in and stopped that.
She was a rather harsh woman but I'm thankful to her for that and many other things she did for me and said to me - like when I had a meltdown when I had to do three errands at once and urgently: I felt crushed that I could not control myself and cried like a baby right there in the middle of all the colleagues.
She took me to her office, gave me Corvalolum in water and said: 'It's just a work. Your life and peace of mind are of much greater importance".
 

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