I completely agree about Catholicism. From a very young age, they attempted to stifle and quash my curiosity and desire for learning, especially as a female. I did well in school...academically. But that's only because I idolized my father, and went out of my way to please him, but that's because I sometimes felt he was the only person who got me. So, it was extremely important to me that I did well for him.
Mostly cuz....I've always felt...odd. Since I was a little girl. I used to tell my parents I was a halfling/changeling child, that I was part fae or part of some other alien race.
My father always understood me. He retired a few years back. My mom never really worked. I guess my father was really big on the whole gender role thing, yet he was the one who told me...verbatim mind you...when I was a about 11yrs old, "Our male dominated society is a product of biology. Education and technology are the great equalizers. You can do anything you put your mind to, little girl. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."
He very much enjoyed that I would write him letters of my own accord after I did something wrong. I'd tell him what I learned. And what I planned to do to never make the same mistake again. Or, if I disagreed with him, I'd explain my reasoning and why I thought his methodology was flawed. He thought I was very insightful. And he'd often call me in his office to discuss what I'd written...and he'd allow me to argue or debate my case.
He enjoyed that I was an independent thinker, but even if I disagreed with him...his rules or punishments, I'd still follow them...and take my punishments in stride. He told me a wise leader...well, he actually told me what an unwise leader does...and here he quoted Karl Popper...though he paraphrased for my young mind...though I learned the true quote much later in life...goes:
"The [true] authoritarian [is problematic, as he] will in general select only those who obey, who believe, who respond to his influence. But in doing so, he is bound to select mediocrities. For he excludes those who revolt, who doubt, who dare to resist his influence. Never can an authority admit that the intellectually courageous, i.e. those who dare to defy his authority, may be the most valuable type..."
My father recognized that though I was a child with limited experience and scope, I still saw the world differently than he. And my perspective was valid...even if he disagreed with my way of thinking (which plays a huge role in my MultiTruth Spectrum Theory). And he often took what I said into consideration. And once or twice apologized for punishing me after hearing my side of the equation.
He in many ways is and was an enlightened man. And very much the reason I am as I am today.
When I was 8yrs old, my father found me with frog I'd nailed to a stump. It was still alive. And I was trying to use a bow saw to slice it open (apologies to anyone who reads this who is an animal lover, but my curiosity at that juncture outweighed my love of frogs, which is not an excuse...and part of me often hesitates sharing this aspect of my story for fear it might upset someone, but then I argue with myself that I need to own every experience that makes me who I am...and not hide from it...for fear I will be judged for it).
My father asked what I was doing. I told him I wanted to understand how a circulatory system worked. He asked why a bow saw. I said mom wouldn't let me take a knife from the kitchen, so I had to improvise.
He told me to carry on, then left me to it.
I was a little monkey. And would climb trees with a backpack full of books to get away from everyone, especially my younger sister. I would sit up there for hours and read and ponder and speculate.
My father, much like me, was a voracious reader from time in perpetuity...or since I can remember, whichever came first.
But he doesn't look it. He has that: I'm gonna kick your *ss...look radiating from his pores.
But looks can be quite deceiving, as I'm sure you're already quite aware.
When I was about 8yrs old (seems a pivotal age for me), I sat next to my father in the kitchen one Sat morn. I picked up one of his books he was reading...and tried to mimic his pose and read while sipping my juice like he sipped his coffee. It took him several min to even notice I was there, and when he finally did. He was like, "Whoa, there, little girl?! Whatcha reading?"
I showed him the book with such pride beaming from my eyes, though, admittedly, I'd not understood what it was I was reading at that time.
He let out this huge bellows of a laugh. It was some gritty old school science fiction like Heinlein (whom I've actually came to love). He then explained these books were much too mature for me, but he knew exactly where to take me to fill my curiosity.
First he took me to an old book store and we sat for hours just flipping through pages, trying to find age appropriate science fiction and fantasy books.
We left the store with The Hobbit, Narnia, a Wrinkle in Time, Through the Looking Glass, etc.
This then became a weekly trip for us. We'd wake early on Sat. He'd take me to breakfast, then we'd go to old book stores or the library.
We'd come home loaded with books. My mom would be irate. She had no idea what was going to happen when we ran out of shelve space for the books.
I remember her saying, "I swear to the heavens (or whatever) if I find piles of books just lying around, they're fair game to toss. And if you get your daughter into the habit of reading while eating dinner...remember, I know where you sleep!"
Hahaha! I swear she still has nightmares about all those goddamn books! ;p
Things changed a bit when I hit puberty, but not as much as people think. I just started to like looking like a girl, which in no way negated all that came before. But people assume cuz a girl looks a certain way...
...which is infinitely frustrating.
My father and I still do bonding stuff. And I very much love that all the inappropriate stuff that often runs thru my brain, comes outta his mouth.
He has no filter! Hahaha!
Also, apologies for my lengthy responses. I do not wish to inundate you with my crazy. But I do very much appreciate that you've listened to me. Truly. You've my gratitude.