Levels of Aspergers

[Darwin162]

You sound like you are not that good at reasoning, whether or not you have high IQ.

There you go again. Bullying the smart people. One might think you are a tad envious of us.

 

[Maelstrom]

Ouch! no fighting...it would be nice if people remembered that a person who is very smart on something may suffer greatly on other things.
Resenting and attacking that persons one thing they have to cling to as being a thing they are good at... may be like the rich man butchering the poor mans pet lamb for dinner...it was all the Poor man had to love.

I am really good at some things.....and really bad at others, I am listed as H/F and am fairly social... but the grim reaper of suffering comes for me too! I have lost count of how many hands of poker I played with the grim reaper. You can't always tell who is truly suffering just from how they talk, not everyone wears all their sufferings and sorrows on their sleeve.

Some times great knowledge.....just sharpens the blade of sorrow even more. Maelstrom

 

[Professori]

Agreed! Everyone has a story and in that story is suffering, some to a greater degree than others. In an ideal world we would be far more empathetic and sympathetic to others, but I think we become so introspective that we tend to focus on our own lives and our struggles. We really lose the outward focus of helping others because we are taught to be so individualistic.

This precisely why I started the thread on the 'Wounded Healer' - simply to stimulate some thought on how our life struggles and pain can actually give us a deeper insight into how we can help others.

Surely that is why we have this forum - to share experiences, ideas, suggestions - and pain, etc. with some insight into what others may be going through? There is enough conflict in the world without us tearing into each other, as idealistic as that may seem.

 

[Maelstrom]

You sound like a bully

I understand how you feel but....maybe the word bully was not very diplomatic...I am a little bit of a savant on certain things but it comes at a price...it is not as wonderful as it sounds it cuts both directions.

 

[theminx]

The neighbor boy a few doors down is diagnosed with Asperger's, he is much more disabled than I am, he cannot read and nothing they have tried seems to work. He is probably closer to classic autism than Asperger's in my opinion. But he does share a connection with me that he does not have with others. As has been said, it really is a spectrum. If we take the 3 level scale used in the current DSM, my therapist says on most days I am a level 1, but on my off days when I struggle or am overwhelmed I can get very close to a level 2 in my need for support. Whilest some Aspie's can manage on thier own, I cannot in some aspects. Should something happen to my wife, I have trustee's in place to help me manage money to keep bills paid and to help me keep the house in order/cleaned up. I would spend every time I have on trains, tractors and junk food if not for thier help. The house would go uncleaned till I was a wreck, then I would get overwhelmed trying to clean it up once it got to that point and meltdown. Mike

It is interesting. Both my boyfriend and I have been diagnosed. He back in 2010. Me more recently. We've been together 13yrs. Even worked at the same biotech companies. Twice.

The weird thing is...though he looks more akward than me, seems less comfortable in his own skin and less likely to socialize...it is me who struggles more.

I was diagnosed as bipolar, as my cluttering resembles pressured speech. And my involuntary mutism and meltdowns were attributed to depression.

Thing is...I was stable for years. But I kept getting promoted at work, and with each subsequent promotion, the expectation for me to work with others increased...and with the increased need to socialize, my behaviors began to increase in tandem.

I would wring my hands in meetings. I would trip over my words when my brain would get flooded with ideas...or I'd lose them all at once...and be incapable of speaking at all. And sometimes I'd meltdown mid-meeting, where I was normally able to make it to the bathroom first

My symptoms were so...noticeable, HR was periodically placing me on short-term disability. Sometimes for a week. Sometimes a month...to stabilize me. At one point, my doctor recommended ECT. I refused.

Finally, HR "strongly suggested" I go on long-term leave to get stable after several full meltdowns at work.

Which was a blessing and curse...cuz it was that which printed my new diagnosis.

But now I'm scared to return to work.

I seem good initially. I'm a good actress. You'd likely not know there's anything wrong with me when you first met me.

Yet I'm the one who is out of work right now.

I also went to my first autism support group recently, where I experienced feeling out of place. Even overdressed.

So...

But I've always felt like I've straddled every line. Like I've never quite fit in anywher,, so...it wasn't an unusual feeling

 

[Maelstrom]

It is interesting. Both my boyfriend and I have been diagnosed. He back in 2010. Me more recently. We've been together 13yrs. Even worked at the same biotech companies. Twice.

The weird thing is...though he looks more akward than me, seems less comfortable in his own skin and less likely to socialize...it is me who struggles more.

I was diagnosed as bipolar, as my cluttering resembles pressured speech. And my involuntary mutism and meltdowns were attributed to depression.

Thing is...I was stable for years. But I kept getting promoted at work, and with each subsequent promotion, the expectation for me to work with others increased...and with the increased need to socialize, my behaviors began to increase in tandem.

I would wring my hands in meetings. I would trip over my words when my brain would get flooded with ideas...or I'd lose them all at once...and be incapable of speaking at all. And sometimes I'd meltdown mid-meeting, where I was normally able to make it to the bathroom first

My symptoms were so...noticeable, HR was periodically placing me on short-term disability. Sometimes for a week. Sometimes a month...to stabilize me. At one point, my doctor recommended ECT. I refused.

Finally, HR "strongly suggested" I go on long-term leave to get stable after several full meltdowns at work.

Which was a blessing and curse...cuz it was that which printed my new diagnosis.

But now I'm scared to return to work.

I seem good initially. I'm a good actress. You'd likely not know there's anything wrong with me when you first met me.

Yet I'm the one who is out of work right now.

I also went to my first autism support group recently, where I experienced feeling out of place. Even overdressed.

So...

But I've always felt like I've straddled every line. Like I've never quite fit in anywher,, so...it wasn't an unusual feeling

Ask for the old position you liked back, just say it better suited your personality or something. There is no point in taking a promotion that will ruin you.
They maybe can move the other people up one notch.

Good luck best wishes on everything. Mael

 

[Fluttershy]

Going to agree with what everyone's saying about levels not so much being a thing. I read something a while ago where someone described autism like a buffet or grab bag or something, where you may have a random set or symptoms each day depending on a number of factors and the whole "spectrum" thing doesn't quite work how everyone thinks. Everyone has the potential to be high functioning in different areas, low functioning in others, and it can change based on factors like stress.

I also think the way we perceive ourselves and the way others perceive us is worth considering.

 

[overthehills]

I can relate to the OP, I am 33 own my house in England, manage all the bills, 12 year relationship and have a 10 year old daughter and a 18 month westiepoo. Got diagnosed when I was 32. Never had the courage to attend a support group though.

I got made permanently medically restricted soon after my diagnosis at work, partly due to asperger and partly to all the traumatic experiences I have had to deal with.

When I got assessed for asperger and when I complete any forms there is no doubt I'm on the spectrum, my psychologist told me straight away that I'm definitely asperger and she has no doubts........ BUT.... Since then I have read lots about Asperger and noticed how other people struggle in lots of different ways and it makes me question myself, doubt my diagnosis and feel guilty that I am asperger and able to live a more 'normal' life, well appear to anyways, inside is a struggle but I hide it and battle on.

 

[Professori]

It is interesting. Both my boyfriend and I have been diagnosed. He back in 2010. Me more recently. We've been together 13yrs. Even worked at the same biotech companies. Twice.

The weird thing is...though he looks more akward than me, seems less comfortable in his own skin and less likely to socialize...it is me who struggles more.

I was diagnosed as bipolar, as my cluttering resembles pressured speech. And my involuntary mutism and meltdowns were attributed to depression.

Thing is...I was stable for years. But I kept getting promoted at work, and with each subsequent promotion, the expectation for me to work with others increased...and with the increased need to socialize, my behaviors began to increase in tandem.

I would wring my hands in meetings. I would trip over my words when my brain would get flooded with ideas...or I'd lose them all at once...and be incapable of speaking at all. And sometimes I'd meltdown mid-meeting, where I was normally able to make it to the bathroom first

My symptoms were so...noticeable, HR was periodically placing me on short-term disability. Sometimes for a week. Sometimes a month...to stabilize me. At one point, my doctor recommended ECT. I refused.

Finally, HR "strongly suggested" I go on long-term leave to get stable after several full meltdowns at work.

Which was a blessing and curse...cuz it was that which printed my new diagnosis.

But now I'm scared to return to work.

I seem good initially. I'm a good actress. You'd likely not know there's anything wrong with me when you first met me.

Yet I'm the one who is out of work right now.

I also went to my first autism support group recently, where I experienced feeling out of place. Even overdressed.

So...

But I've always felt like I've straddled every line. Like I've never quite fit in anywher,, so...it wasn't an unusual feeling

I think as individual Aspies we all experience our limits of tolerance at different levels of social interaction and work, some at higher levels, some at lower. So, I agree that if you want to work and still feel capable of handling it fairly comfortably, why not request that you be placed at the level at which you feel most comfortable - that which involves less interaction?

One thing that we tend to forget about attending autism support groups is that we are still meeting with people, and frankly, if I meet with groups of people, NT or otherwise, I feel uncomfortable. It is meeting with groups of people which brings discomfort - that's the bottom line for me. Support groups may not be helpful to many Aspies because they defeat the purpose for which they are formed, and they are artificial.

Doctors still recommend ECT, and they still use it?! Grief, that was already archaic in the 1960's! Good for you that you refused it.

 

[FreeDiver]

One thing that we tend to forget about attending autism support groups is that we are still meeting with people, and frankly, if I meet with groups of people, NT or otherwise, I feel uncomfortable. It is meeting with groups of people which brings discomfort - that's the bottom line for me. Support groups may not be helpful to many Aspies because they defeat the purpose for which they are formed, and they are artificial.

Maybe, some of us don't like being in groups. But you still got to wonder. If everybody in the world was an aspie. Would we still have a hard time socializing, or even getting together in groups? I still have to ask this question? Has being force to socializing to NT standards, somehow destroyed our natural ability to do aspie socializing? if that really exists or not? Because, I tend to find myself being afraid to express my feeling's, and I don't think this is it's an aspie thing as more as I think it a defensive thing, caused by the very fact that I can't trust NT's.

 

[zurb]

Funny, this morning there is a radio interview about 'concept creep', and 'bully' was used as the example. It reminded me of this thread.
Ylva simply related a story. There was no use of power or authority by Ylva over Darwin here that I can see. No intimidation or forcing to do anything. And it was a one off. Hardly meets any definition of bullying.
I've always been in the upper percentiles academically, but I find I can often relate to those of lower socioeconomic status - maybe because we have something in common as being rejected by society. Or maybe because Aspies on average tend to be less judgemental.

 

[Nao]

Cali cat your half breed comment really made me laugh! That totally describes how I feel and I also feel like an interpreter for my son (also aspie) to the outside world and even other family members. I still do make social faux pas though that my husband will pick me up on, such as just turning away from someone who is boring me. I don't even realise I'm doing it.

 

[theminx]

Why not request that you be placed at the level at which you feel most comfortable - that which involves less interaction?

Support groups may not be helpful to many Aspies because they defeat the purpose for which they are formed, and they are artificial.

Doctors still recommend ECT, and they still use it?! Grief, that was already archaic in the 1960's! Good for you that you refused it.

On the first part, I've come to realize what I was doing (as a biotech quality systems engineer) was not my purpose. And though it was difficult to experience things as they played out, it helped me to learn my true purpose. I found out I could paint in art therapy during a stint at a psych hospital. I found I could paint and ideas to write.

My painting and writings are here: theminxxx.com

I understand the name is probably too provocative, but I wanted the triple X to stand for my unrepentant Trinity:
X - Artist
X - Philosopher
X - Writer
& my Observation Log (aka Blog)

As I now "own" what makes me different...rather than constantly apologize for it.

On the second part, I completely agree; support groups in many respects defeats the purpose for what ails many Aspies and Auties. It's kinda ironic if you think about it

 

[theminx]

Ask for the old position you liked back, just say it better suited your personality or something. There is no point in taking a promotion that will ruin you.
They maybe can move the other people up one notch.

Good luck best wishes on everything. Mael

Like I said to Professori above, I've come to realize what I was doing was definitely not my purpose. And though it was not fun (apologies, I left out the "not", which gives the wrong impression)...the way things unfolded for me, it helped me to learn my true purpose.

I found out I could paint in art therapy during a stint at a psych hospital. I also I could write...that what seemed delusional to others, had the potential to fuel my creativity.

 

[theminx]

Maybe, some of us don't like being in groups. But you still got to wonder. If everybody in the world was an aspie. Would we still have a hard time socializing, or even getting together in groups? I still have to ask this question? Has being force to socializing to NT standards, somehow destroyed our natural ability to do aspie socializing? if that really exists or not? Because, I tend to find myself being afraid to express my feeling's, and I don't think this is it's an aspie thing as more as I think it a defensive thing, caused by the very fact that I can't trust NT's.

I wonder this sometimes myself. We've grown up with NT based filters to view ourselves and others. So, we try to socialize accordingly. But if we were brought up among other Aspies and Auties, would our ability to socialize...seem normal...even preferrable and comforting?

I mean...we are direct. We say what we mean...and mean what we say. If this wasn't perceived to be and inferior means to communicate...

No. What I'm saying is the only reason we perceive directness to be inferior is because the NT mode of communicating is the dominant mode. But it definitely isnt an inferior way to communicate and socialize. If placed in the right circumstances, it is actually in many ways...preferrable.

I don't want to say "superior", as their are so many negative connotations connected to this term.

 

[Professori]

On the first part, I've come to realize what I was doing (as a biotech quality systems engineer) was not my purpose. And though it was difficult to experience things as they played out, it helped me to learn my true purpose. I found out I could paint in art therapy during a stint at a psych hospital. I found I could paint and ideas to write.

My painting and writings are here: theminxxx.com

I understand the name is probably too provocative, but I wanted the triple X to stand for my unrepentant Trinity:
X - Artist
X - Philosopher
X - Writer
& my Observation Log (aka Blog)

As I now "own" what makes me different...rather than constantly apologize for it.

On the second part, I completely agree; support groups in many respects defeats the purpose for what ails many Aspies and Auties. It's kinda ironic if you think about it

Great paintings and certainly a fantastic way to express your inner focus. There is a thread on this forum where you can post some of your paintings if you like - they may very well reach out to some who need to have something to relate to when they are unable to express themselves.

Of course Minx means different things to different people, but the triple X says it all. As you say, you want your name to identify who you are and if that is what it does then that is the truth you want out there.

Philosopher implies that you have done some studying in this discipline? That discipline is an elusive butterfly with no absolutes, and so one has to be confident of one's values, or it leads to baffling confusion, with constantly changing criteria of assessment and analysis.

 

[Kari Suttle]

First post on this thread, here. I definitely think there are different levels to even AS. I think to a point with the DSM-5 putting everything on one spectrum does make sense because even one individual can go up an down the spectrum depending on how their day is going. I definitely need more support if I've got a lot of stress going on or even if i'm simply tired, hungry, etc., than if I'm feeling 100%. Everyone's brains work differently and everyone was raised differently. I probably would have turned out different had I not been missed as a child getting noticed and diagnosed. When I was a kid, diagnosing AS was just getting big but it wasn't well known enough that anyone thought to look at me for it.

 

[theminx]

Great paintings and certainly a fantastic way to express your inner focus. There is a thread on this forum where you can post some of your paintings if you like - they may very well reach out to some who need to have something to relate to when they are unable to express themselves.

Of course Minx means different things to different people, but the triple X says it all. As you say, you want your name to identify who you are and if that is what it does then that is the truth you want out there.

Philosopher implies that you have done some studying in this discipline? That discipline is an elusive butterfly with no absolutes, and so one has to be confident of one's values, or it leads to baffling confusion, with constantly changing criteria of assessment and analysis.

My background is in the sciences, hence my previous career in biotech.

But like with most Aspies, the things I'm passionate about, I don't need professional credentials to teach myself.

Much like painting. I'd never painted anything in my life, then I was introduced during art therapy in a psych hospital and...look what I'm able to create with no formal training?

The same goes with philosophy. I did take a few philosophy classes in college. But most of what I learned, I taught myself.

My favorite philosophers are Karl Popper, Voltaire, Nietzsche, and Socrates.

But what true philosopher merely regurgitates what has come before? Philosophy is about finding your own path...your own philosophy and personal truth...and then teaching it to others. My own philosophy is based on what I like to think of as my
- Neuro-A-typical Axioms
- MultiTruth Spectrum Theories
- Girl Warrior Path Code
- Cognitive Dialectical Harmonization or Equilibration Theory

I've posted some of my thoughts on these in my blog. But much of my philosophy is still being tweaked...and what has been posted is an older version of said philosophy and the related theories:

http://theminxxx.com/2016/02/05/the-atypical-axiom-finding-your-own-truth/

http://theminxxx.com/2016/02/16/pattern-recognition/

http://theminxxx.com/2016/03/29/the-art-of-surrender/

http://theminxxx.com/2016/02/12/the-foxy-frog-and-the-scorpion-with-a-kobayashi-maru-twist/

http://theminxxx.com/philosophical-musings/girl-warrior/princess-warrior-code/

http://theminxxx.com/2016/02/09/independent-thought-vs-cognitive-dissonance/

http://theminxxx.com/2015/09/20/multitruth-paradox/

Let me know what you think.

 

[theminx]

can post some of your paintings if you like - they may very well reach out to some who need to have something to relate to when they are unable to express themselves.

Also, thank you for the recommendation. I will check it out. Do you know the specific link?

 

[Professori]

Also, thank you for the recommendation. I will check it out. Do you know the specific link?

There are a number of threads that you can use, all under the Forum section

https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/post-your-art.2158/

https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/positive-images.15955/

Although the second one refers to positive images, art is also a positive form of image. There's are others but these are the ones that I have viewed.

I will definitely take a look at your blog posts.