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How long can someone survive with no friends?

Jeremy

Jeremy

Member
I'm sure there is another thread, if not many, related to not having any friends. All of my actual friendships for the past 22 or 23 years have been based soley on use of drugs and/or alcohol. Obviously, as some of you may know who have been there, smoking weed and occational alcohol use work wonders for Asperger's...at least in my case.
I AM IN NO WAY CONDONING THE USE OF OR EXPERIMENTATION OF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL.
I am simply stating my own personal experience...and yes I do have a point.
Some could say anyone who if just your friend during drug and alcohol use isn't really a true friend at all. That may be true but at some point in your life, you really don't care what kind of friend they are. If they are someone to hang out with, talk to, vent to, laugh with and trust...that's good enough for me.
Since being completely sober for the past 7 1/2 years, I have had absolutly no one I can call a friend...even based on the criteria above. It's just really hard with no one to really talk to...not just someone to listen...but someone to actually connect with in some way. I just have no idea what to do. I have found no one to relate to or who can relate to me. Maybe my standards are too high. Who knows. Again I ask, how long can someone survive with no friends?
 
Apparently, at least 7 1/2 years.

This forum is likely to provide "someone to hang out with, talk to, vent to, laugh with and trust."
It has for other people. On-line and in some cases, 'IRL.'

So, you are saying, you have been feeling isolated/alone in your
everyday life? Like whatever people you encounter aren't sufficient
to your need for human companionship?
 
Depends. For some, their entire life. Others, they couldn't survive a second. For one particular person it'd lie somewhere between these points.
 
An entire lifetime. I've heard of people going their entire adult life with no friends, no girlfriends, no kids, just work. Undiagnosed aspies, perhaps? In any case, it's an option.

But from a psychological standpoint it's not healthy for any amount of time. It gives me a lot of hope to hear someone's made it 7 and a half years so far, that's a long time to be alone. I'm in a similar situation, going on 5 years now, and the time really does crawl. I like to think that someday I'll meet someone who would make good friend material, and that keeps me going.
 
The last 'friend' I had seems to have stitched me up right good and proper. I got myself in a real mess there with all my aspie traits etc.

So right now, i'm giving myself a pat on the back for not having a friend in my life for a while. I have been way too gullible, naïve and idiotic to even want to contemplate another at this time.
 
Survive well until your death of other causes obviously. To survive we only need food, water and shelter so, you may live to 80, 90 or even 100 without a single friend.

How sane, content or what you mental state would be, that depends on the individual. Some people are fine alone and don't need others. They would be happy living as hermits. Other people are very unhappy without human companionship.

Sure we all need some sort of social interaction, a companion but, that doesn't have to be a human, it can be a pet, even a wild animal, depending on how we choose to live.
 
Decades. In the last ten years I've had very little contact with much of anyone outside my cousin and my brother.
 
Just like one activity brought you in contact with people, so can another. It can be interest based, a hobby, sport or maybe volunteer work or a part time job.
 
i like what Beverly says about animals being good company. I have a wee cat who is great company when i am feeling lonely.

What kind of hobbies or interests do u have? oh i see Tom has already covered that, well i agree with him as there may be hobby groups etc,

Have you considered going to a local NA or AA group? it is certainly not everyones taste but one really good thing you will find is that there will be a lot of people who really understand what it is like to leave friends behind for their own health n sanity. I know there was a time in my life where i had to disconnect from many of my friends for kinda similar reasons and it felt like i had lost a family in a way, but i really had to move on for my own health and i felt lost for a long time.

you have done bloody well, 7 n a half years sober is a great achievement, good on ya!
and there are some pretty great people here who help me have a feeling of connection, have a laugh with, share music ect when i feel too alone. Hang in there, your not alone here:)

Do ya like music or anything, what stuff did ya use to do with your old drinkin buddies (aside from gettin baked)?

 
Thank you all... Seriously... Finally found a group who actually DOES know and understand these issues. That's really all I was looking for. And great responses indeed. I've been through AA, rehab all that fun. I do not struggle with substance abuse at all. That is not the issue. It's the lack of hobbies /interests since I quit all that junk that has really affected my lack of friendship. I don't know. When I was younger, i.e. Before Asperger diagnosis, I studied in depth Astronomy and Astrophysics when I was about 14. Also taught myself computer programming when I was 14. Now, however, it's become extremely difficult to find something I'm interested in or to hold my interest enough to call a hobby. I'm still hanging in there though!
You guys are awesome!!
Thanks!!
 
As long as each individual can cope. I was 42, perhaps and had given up on the idea of having a friend and then, suddenly it happened. All online. We realised that we had something very special. As it happens, I did not know I had aspergers. I just thought I was unfriendable. Heard many stories of what true friendship is, but it never came my way. She was the first to say, after we chatted a bit on Facebook, that she felt there was a special bond and felt the need to chat everyday and I agreed with her, but was too shy to say. And guess what? She was only 17 at the time!

We formed a very special bond and spent time together off line, but realised we were better online. We chatted virtually every day and when I discovered aspergers, I saw that she taught me the concept of friendship. I honestly, at first, never knew what to talk about, but she was so friendly that I relaxed and this helped with my ability to chat with others. Sadly, we no long communicate, but she will always remain dear to me.

I have, since then found a few friends, but see that none of us can match all criteria on the list and so, it is a case of accepting each one for their different qualities. Of course, if someone claims to be a friend, but sets out to mock and hurt etc, they are not a friend. A friend is one who brings out the best in us.
 
I have a few shaky friendships, based loosely on shared interests, but they do seem to hang by a thread. I have difficulty scheduling time for my interests, so I often wing it, which means I do things alone mostly.

I can understand the need to get away and keep away from certain people and groups. While I never had a substance or alcohol problem, many pepole I used to consider friends did, and I eventually had to limit then cut off contact with them. Too bad, because they were generally the people who accepted me the most, and I had a lot of fun with them.

This forum is as close as it gets for me theses days.
 
I discovered in college that I had a kind of 'addictive' personality but that it hadn't manifested into anything. Felt pretty cheated to be honest as most people I knew at least 'fitted somewhere'.
 
I've totally had those kinds of "friends", it's kinda funny how people can gravitate together just because of a shared using of some substance.

Alas whenever I'm in my periods of sustaining nobody is interested in hanging out. Sometimes people completely write me out of their lives during this period and some just wait until I'm partaking again to let me hang out with them.

Though in the end some of these people ended up stealing from me and I don't deal with that we'll and I've over the years basically have lost interest in having friends...

...besides online anyways. ;)
 
When I try to make friends they say I am too loud, talk too much, act like I have high anxiety which makes them nervous. I know I never smile and stare a lot without really noticing, it creeps people out. The only people I am around is people at work and each job I have people stay clear of me. I know they are trying to figure out what is wrong with me but they cannot pinpoint it. I have high functioning autism and I laugh 30 seconds later than all and never smile. I try to smile but they can tell I am uncomfortable smiling. I have huge social issues at work and always get fired stating I don't fit with culture of company. I have no friends and have not for 13 years. It is so hard to fake all the time that you have emotion and are very happy
 
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