Giving tips

[SteveH]

OGM-again. I agree with several of you that tipping can be harder for the ASD community. All the social cues are harder. I always try to give a warm appreciative smile when someone is behind the counter and is nice to me. However, if I have had bad sleep or the place is chaotic, I may actually be frowning etc. I feel like if I give a generous tip it, it a may help communicate that I appreciate their service(a tip cannot make a strange facial expression. It can be stressful.

 

[SteveH]

I worked as a server in a restaurant, Barista at Starbucks, and I delivered pizzas. Ultimately it is crap and is a way of not having to directly pay employees by owners. It certainly does not "motivate" the worker to work harder--because you get fired by your boss if you don't work hard enough for them!!!!!! All that ever happened in every place I worked at for tips is that the most attractive woman on the staff got 10-25% more tips than anyone else. Every female co-worker I ever worked with said that when they dressed more sexy, their tips went up.
At A busy Starbucks, you often work as fast as your can-regardless. They have secret shoppers that rate you and you have to work your butt off. We would memorize customers names to manipulate them in to giving us more tips--not because we liked them or cared about them(that's one of the secrets of the Starbucks Baristas). We made everyone's drink the best we could-tip or not.
On my soap box now:
The worst thing about this "tipping system" is that unethical jerks never/rarely tip and get to skate by and pay a cheaper price for many things. That sucks. People should just get a fair wage to begin with--then all the customers would equally be contributing to the person's wages. Clearly not a fan of tipping system.

 

[Sozdatelniza]

The possibility to get an useful tip from me is very low. My imagination doesn't work with tips. I can't understand why because my imagination works good. Perhaps it does work good anything except of practical ideas. I mean I am not a pragmatic person at all. I make experiments and I'm also basically a theorist. But I'm not able to give a useful theoritic advice. How I would know it's useful if I didn't try it?

 

[Progster]

Thank you for your replies. It seems to be a cultural thing and attitudes towards it vary, in some countries tipping is normal and expected, and in other countries like Japan it is considered an insult so no one tips, but the workers are paid well.

Personally, I do leave tips, but it feels very awkward and I'm not sure when it's expected, how much is expected, whether I gave enough - I can't read faces or body languages well enough to pick up cues or hints about a tip being expected. It means that I avoid situations where a tip might be necessary, and leave such things to my partner who is NT and good with these things.

In an ideal world, staff should all be paid fairly and rewarded for good work by their employer and therefore no need for tipping, but unfortunately that is not the case, except in a few countries.

I once worked in the kitchens of a restuarant, and never got any of the tip money, though I was paid the minimum legal wage. Still, it seemed unfair that the waiters get all the tips when I also contribute to the overall dining service in some way and work just as hard.

 

[pjcnet]

That offers her no incentive to work better,only rewards her for showing up.

You don't get tips if you work in an office or a factory, but a few good employers can offer perks or incentives for doing a better job in the form or a bonus, this could happen in the service sector too instead of them accepting tips.

 

[WildCat]

Always tip if you can, doesn't have to be 15% or whatever the current rule is. Taxi drivers, the pizza guy, grocery clerks, fast food workers - many of these people are working paycheck to paycheck struggling to get by. If you repeatedly get screwed over or impressed by a lousy/upstanding employee, I'd agree with the next person who says to adjust your tips accordingly. Within reason, of course.

All in all, a good way to show that you care about something besides yourself every once in a while.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Always tip if you can, doesn't have to be 15% or whatever the current rule is. Taxi drivers, the pizza guy, grocery clerks, fast food workers - many of these people are working paycheck to paycheck struggling to get by. If you repeatedly get screwed over or impressed by a lousy/upstanding employee, I'd agree with the next person who says to adjust your tips accordingly. Within reason, of course.

All in all, a good way to show that you care about something besides yourself every once in a while.

If they don't get tipped they might go postal.

Postal workers don't get tipped...

Hence the phrase....

Well it could be that murderer guy...

 

[Nitro]

You don't get tips if you work in an office or a factory, but a few good employers can offer perks or incentives for doing a better job in the form or a bonus, this could happen in the service sector too instead of them accepting tips.

You are talking about two different skill sets based on differing pay levels.
The restaurant industry does not have as much wiggle room to offer larger incentives without driving the cost of the end product up across the board, something that would drive many more customers away.

Taxis don't exist out here in the rural areas where I live, but personally if I wasn't comfortable with the service I was provided with, the simple solution would be to not use them in the future.

I worked in both service and manufacturing, employing many workers along the way, offering services that were unique where there was plenty of room to grant incentives and perks as rewards for showing me that you wanted to help my bottom line.

If I passed out rewards just for showing up to work,there would be no incentive to show me what an employee thought of my business now, would there?

Driving a taxi or serving food is a one on one experience with the customer where you can decide based on merit what the person who interacted with you was worth to you for your experience with them.
It works both ways, you know, where you can also choose to leave nothing, something that will negatively effect their bottom dollar that may motivate them to offer better service in the future

If tipping is not a part of your thought process,then by all means, don't tip, but on the same hand, don't complain if it puts you in a negative light when you don't.

 

[Progster]

@Nitro clicked the 'funny button accidentally on your post just there in case you were wondering, sorry.

It seems like that in the US it is most definitely expected that one tips, and it is a huge taboo not to.

 

[Nitro]

@Nitro clicked the 'funny button accidentally on your post just there in case you were wondering, sorry.

It seems like that in the US it is most definitely expected that one tips, and it is a huge taboo not to.

That is a cultural difference, something that shows just how diverse the world really is.

 

[WildCat]

I don't know what's so complicated about this when you acknowledge it - if you can afford to tip, even just a little bit, then just do it. That 15% rule? It gets broken from time to time, so what?

If you can't afford to tip, then you can't afford to tip. It's not going to stir up an apocalypse, it's not the end of the world. Some of these responses go way over my head sometimes...or maybe I'm not good with mornings

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

If you can't afford to tip, then you can't afford to tip. It's not going to stir up an apocalypse

I'm imagining Lucifer, the king of capitalism, talking to the head demons.

"Ok. If that @pjcnet does it one more time. Then it's on!"

 

[Mary Anne]

Some food servers in the USA are not paid a minimum wage, because they earn a better portion of their wages from their tips.

The rules are simple 15% of the bill, which is fairly simple math at 10% plus half of that added on to the total.

It doesn't have to be an exact figure either, with rounding up being more fair to the provider.

Many of them also have to declare them as taxable income, so the government still gets their cut.

To not tip in the service industry is an insult to those who provide good service in my country.
If you get what you needed,give them what they need based on a merit system.



A good rule of thumb I use in a tavern setting is to tip well up front when first served to show my server that I value their service from the beginning instead of making them wait until I decide to leave.

As a result of doing so,it generally offers me better service which will also prompt me to leave even more when I am finished

I see that tipping might b a cultural awareness? Because I have never been on a forum where tipping was discussed as not done. Workers need their tips! Workers are not paid enough, and NEED tips to survive. Please tip them.

In urban USA, the tip at restaurants is 20% of the bill. 15% is very old, and would not given unless there was just ok or “just” acceptable service. Senior citizens are know to tip 10% to 15% because they are stuck back in the past - LOL. Tipping 10 percent is as bad as “no tip,” because it sends a message to the worker you are displeased with them. No tip of course is the ultimate message of bad service, but a 10% tip sends a negative message too).

If you cannot afford to tip, I suggest not even engaging in whatever service you want to pay for. I have not tipped at times when I was homeless, and poor , and felt very bad for eating at a restaurant where the service was good. I felt so much shame. I would tell the server that I had great service, but had no money to tip them. They understood, but I still felt badly.

Tipping is very necessary in our western society. I had never heard of so many people against tipping! It’s just a given in the US (I have traveled extensively around the USA) and I expect the western world (Europe) also would feel the same. You can look up online tipping tables - what to tip the hair stylist, the waitress, the concierge, the luggage handler at the airport, the cab driver, the wine steward, the maitre d, etc. It’s a fact of life! To not tip send all kinds of social messages that are confusing to the worker: did I give bad service? Did the customer hate something like the food, beverage, or where they were seated? Are they just cheap bastards? What is wrong?

As someone who has worked in jobs depending on tips, I beg of you to see this in a more rational light. Just because one is disabled and on low fixed income at this point, I would never even think NOT to tip if I can help it.

 

[Mary Anne]

His driving almost killed us.
As he knew where we lived....
If I gave negative feedback,
Him 'finishing the job' is him coming back to kill us.

Again with speaking in riddles. Oh my, my head hurts.

 

[Mary Anne]

I don't understand this, if he dropped you off at home safely, why wouldn't he get a tip? Finish what job?

Yes, this is also my point (except the bit about the fat woman) - that getting a decent wage is a much better and fairer way of guaranteeing a steady and reliable income for employees. Plus, I've heard many reports of exploitation - staff in some establishments being made to hand in their tips and not getting to keep them, or the kitchen staff don't get their fair share.

I think that if they were paid a decent wage, they would have an incentive to work. After all, supermarket staff and the staff in most other businesses are expected to turn up and do their job well without the additional incentive of tips, so why should it be different for restaurant staff? Instead of tips, they often have perks and bonuses which the employer provides, and there is no reason why it shouldn't be the same in restaurants.
If an employer values an employee because they are doing a good job, that should be reflected in their wages, and not in the amount of tips given.

People are like pets...dangle an incentive for a job well done. Hover a bone over the dog’s head and get him to sit and stop barking. Tips are the way to increase people’s incentives to do a good job. It’s as old as mankind. Reward for good behavior.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Again with speaking in riddles. Oh my, my head hurts.

Lol, that was my explanation!

 

[Mary Anne]

Prompted by @pjcnet 's thread on Uber drivers, I wanted to ask you what you thoughts are on the practice of tipping - giving extra money on top of the advertised price for services, in taxis or in restuarants, for example. Do you give tips? Do you think it's right to do so?

As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of tip giving highly problematic and it causes me a lot of anxiety... so, the price is 10 euros, but actually no, it's 11 euros, because you are supposed to give a tip, which is supposed to be optional, except that it isn't optional, because if you don't give one, it has consequences like a poor rating and you are 'punished' for it, or you are judged and branded as being mean and stingy - even though it is your right not to give one. And there is no clear rule about it, you are supposed to tip according to what you think the person should get, what you think they deserve - you are being asked to make a judgement about that person at put a financial value on that person. And then they make a judgement about you based on how much money you gave them! It's totally wrong and it sucks!

It makes me feel very anxious and reluctant to use any service where tipping is expected because of the lack of clear rules in most circumstances, to the extent that I avoid being in situations where one is suppsed to give a tip. As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of hidden, unspoken social rules and expectations a minefield and difficult to navigate. I just wish there were clear rules for it, that tipping is 10% for example, that would make it easier - or better still, that it didn't exist at all. Employees shouldn't have to rely on tips to make a decent living, they should be paid a decent wage from the start. The price of a service should be up front and transparent, no hidden costs: the advertised price is the price you pay. You agree to a price before accepting the service, that is the price you should be expected to pay, not more.

A person providing a service needs to be paid fairly. So, I'd much rather pay 11 euros with the tip included, than 10 euros but you are supposed to pay a tip so it becomes 11 euros. I like things to be simple, straightforward, upfront and honest. The price of the taxi ride is 11 euros, it is advertised as 11 euros, and that is what I pay, No more, no less.

There ARE “clear rules.” Just google for your country what the percentage tip should be for an Uber ride. Or a restaurant meal. If you eat a $15.00 restaurant meal, then 10% is $1.50 tip. 15% tip is $2.25. A 20% tip would be $3.00. I am terrible at math but can figure out tips.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

There ARE “clear rules.” Just google for your country what the percentage tip should be for an Uber ride. Or a restaurant meal. If you eat a $15.00 restaurant meal, then 10% is $1.50 tip. 15% tip is $2.25. A 20% tip would be $3.00. I am terrible at math but can figure out tips.

To quote hitchhikers guide to the galaxy -

Do you always do two impossible things before breakfast?

 

[Mary Anne]

Prompted by @pjcnet 's thread on Uber drivers, I wanted to ask you what you thoughts are on the practice of tipping - giving extra money on top of the advertised price for services, in taxis or in restuarants, for example. Do you give tips? Do you think it's right to do so?

As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of tip giving highly problematic and it causes me a lot of anxiety... so, the price is 10 euros, but actually no, it's 11 euros, because you are supposed to give a tip, which is supposed to be optional, except that it isn't optional, because if you don't give one, it has consequences like a poor rating and you are 'punished' for it, or you are judged and branded as being mean and stingy - even though it is your right not to give one. And there is no clear rule about it, you are supposed to tip according to what you think the person should get, what you think they deserve - you are being asked to make a judgement about that person at put a financial value on that person. And then they make a judgement about you based on how much money you gave them! It's totally wrong and it sucks!

It makes me feel very anxious and reluctant to use any service where tipping is expected because of the lack of clear rules in most circumstances, to the extent that I avoid being in situations where one is suppsed to give a tip. As a person on the spectrum, I find this system of hidden, unspoken social rules and expectations a minefield and difficult to navigate. I just wish there were clear rules for it, that tipping is 10% for example, that would make it easier - or better still, that it didn't exist at all. Employees shouldn't have to rely on tips to make a decent living, they should be paid a decent wage from the start. The price of a service should be up front and transparent, no hidden costs: the advertised price is the price you pay. You agree to a price before accepting the service, that is the price you should be expected to pay, not more.

A person providing a service needs to be paid fairly. So, I'd much rather pay 11 euros with the tip included, than 10 euros but you are supposed to pay a tip so it becomes 11 euros. I like things to be simple, straightforward, upfront and honest. The price of the taxi ride is 11 euros, it is advertised as 11 euros, and that is what I pay, No more, no less.

I worked for the Caterpillar dealer for Idaho for 23 years. They had a very good employee policy. It was very simple and worked well. "In business, you employees can make you or break you. Which way it goes depends on how well you take care of them". We had every benefit you can think of. The best health insurance available. We had a in house credit union. When I left there, I had three weeks vacation time, one week sick leave and five paid holidays per year.

The result? Everybody did their job to the best of their ability. There was very little turnover. Everyone made a good living. The company had happy employees and customers. What's not to like? Why don't all companies operate like this?

Because working at a top Fortune 500 company is different then working for some smaller business. Many business do NOT offer health insurance, paid holidays or sick leave, dental, or eye care insurances. Many business are not mandated to pay anything beyond minimum wage, which is not remotely possible to live on successfully in the USA. (Which is why many people work 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet.) Try working minimum wage, paying full market value for an apartment and living alone. It’s truly impossible. Now, know that service industry jobs can pay only a few dollars per hour, far far FAR below minimum wage, and it’s legal- because the services is supposed to get the rest in tips. The US is now putting the system in order to tax all the tips too.

 

[Mary Anne]

To quote hitchhikers guide to the galaxy -

Do you always do two impossible things before breakfast?

Do not understand what you mean. Are you doing it on purpose?