Having a restful few days, after some busy days. Music therapy has been amazing and my new exercise with a trainer, also awesome and amazing. My first couple of days to myself for weeks, and I'm feeling a bit mo restored, relaxed and rested. I hope my energy level picks up a lot more t. Sigh. I do have a lot that needs doing here at home. I was heading toward burn out mode, again, and I never want to be there, again.
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My grandbaby son had his first bday party yesterday. Nearly all my immediate tribe were there, 3 of my sons, my kid's Dad, both my daughters, partners, in-laws, my brother, my daughter's friend group with bubbies. It went well. I am exhausted today. My bloke and his son's worked on our place to try to stop us being able to be evicted. They left today. So tired today.My youngest ( 18, Autistic and super awesome) son starts work today, in Woolies, at Balaclava, it is a supermarket close to where he lives with my Dad. In Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. He wants to work hard so he can move out and be properly independent. We talk everyday on the phone. I'm so incredibly impressed and awed by how much he's developing his adulting life skills.I had a beautiful swim in the creek near my son's house today.
Lovely ending to a beautiful weekend with my oldest. I can hear cows and birds, as there are cow paddocks and forests all around. His Kelpie girl puppy has really taken to me too. Waiting for my guy to come pick me up now. I can't wait for him to see the place.I was just thinking today "all my kid's are OK, Yay, I can focus on sorting my own life and health more", but, no, two youngest (AuDHD, like me) sons are in emotional slash health crisis' and my guy friend is, too, and my tenancy is at risk. Too much to deal w. So, yeah, sigh. So much energy went into these 3 men this evening. I sometimes wish I wasn't such a good support person, but do I? Nah, s'all good. I guess.I'm going out dancing tonight. It's the genre of music I trained in, as a working musician, so it's my old comfort zone. It goes for 6 hrs so I'll probably be dancing the whole time, pretty much, seeing as I generally don't talk to people in my village. Dancing is one of my oldest forms of connecting with people, before I really knew how to talk to people.Talked to my just-moved-to-a-huge-city-from-his-tiny-birth town 18 yr old son today. He is staying with his also-autistic grandfather in Melbourne. He has a job interview tomorrow. He's been there for 2 days and says he already doesn't feel like a tourist. My Dad must be a little thrilled because grandson has a same special interest (linguistics) and is genuinely interested in his grandad's thesis.I'm having a "busy-time autistic hangover". Not sure how else to describe it. It's an after effect of helping my son move and then attempting to do some things around the house. Sigh. I think I am a sufferer of having permanently altered burn out brain, from being undiagnosed for too long and doing way too much and coping with way too much, for too long. I will attempt to neuroplastically repair my brain, if I can.Saw my youngest son (18 & autistic) off on a plane to Melbourne yesterday. He's moving there, via staying with my (also autistic) father. Already talked him through his first meltdown. He's amazing and I'm sooo proud of him. I'm also exhausted from supporting him to get there (and raising him and all his older siblings), exhausted but really gratified and satisfied .Had an awesome day! Went to Art&Craft group with my youngest son's new support worker. They did other stuff. He is so cool! We had great convos in the car. Got to talk astrology, neurospicyness, neuroscience, psychedelics & spirituality.He said for his first job, he got lucky, coz he loves those kind of convos and he's not expecting his other clients to be quite so fun.I turn 51 today. I'm having a quiet one at home by myself, as my partner is away visiting his fam. But I've had plenty of birthday calls; first by my only brother and my mum, and I got to talk to my youngest sister's daughter~ my niece, that I've never met, my dad, my oldest son, my partner and his mum, and my support worker and youngest daughter sent me lovely texts.It's my middle son's birthday today. He's 28. But he's not talking to me on account of he's angry for his dad and that I left his narcy arse 14 years ago. I didn't try to contact him coz he rejects me everytime still. Sad. I miss him. Wish my autistic mind could figure out what to do about it.Saw my therapist today, with a lift in with my support worker. They are helping me help my youngest son access some supports. Also spoke to my brother. He sounds pretty well. He has had a very uphill battle too but is getting there healthwise. We spoke about the possibility of our mum being Autistic and agreed it's very likely but that she's unlikely to be open to the fact as yet. -
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