Giving tips

[Juliettaa]

I rarely, if at all, tip taxi drivers.

Hairdresser - I've had the same hairdresser for decades. I don't tip him, but I do buy him a gift on his birthday. I do however tip the junior person who washes my hair as I know they're on the minimum apprentice wage which is even lower than the national minimum wage (which I've spoken to the salon owner about re: exploitation).

Bars - don't drink/don't go in bars.

Restaurants - depends on the service, food etc.

I don't fully understand the concept of tipping, who to give to, who not to. So now I just base it on what I want to do, not what society expects of me.

 

[Bolletje]

@Nitro in my country people in restaurants and cafes are paid at least minimum wage, so they don't need to make a living off of tips. I feel like a system where people need a tip as an incentive to do their job well to be morally bankrupt ; one should do their job well regardless of whether you're paid extra. I see tipping as a reward for a job well done, not as a financial obligation to procure decent service.
Also, when tipping is mandatory, it's not really a tip anymore.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

@Nitro in my country people in restaurants and cafes are paid at least minimum wage, so they don't need to make a living off of tips. I feel like a system where people need a tip as an incentive to do their job well to be morally bankrupt ; one should do their job well regardless of whether you're paid extra. I see tipping as a reward for a job well done, not as a financial obligation to procure decent service.
Also, when tipping is mandatory, it's not really a tip anymore.

Or...

Tip me up front or I'll **** in your drink.

 

[clg114]

I will give a tip for good service. The better the service, the better the tip. For me it is just that simple. If service people give very good service,, they will make more money.

 

[Progster]

If all wages were increased then those that don’t offer a great customer service get the same wage as those that really make the effort to be as helpful and welcoming as they can.

It should be up to the employer to ensure that they are paid a fair wage and to reward them fro working well, such as perks and bonuses.

How is that fair and where is the incentive to keep on offering that extra effort to give the customer a great service?

If they are getting a decent wage, then it is perfectly fair. The incentive should come from the rewards given by the employer, not the customer. In practice, customers are not always fair, reasonable, impartial tippers and often give tips according to other criteria other than good service, regardless whether (s)he does a good job or not. For example, a waitress who does a good job, but isn't pretty, might not get so many tips - so they are being judged on how they look and not whether they do a good job - that's just going to be an incentive for girls to dress up and look pretty, not to do a good job, and is a form of discrimination. What I find unfair, is that they are paid so little by their employer and don't earn a decent wage.

If you receive bad service, then you don't tip or leave only a couple of pennies on the table to demonstrate your dissatisfaction with the service they provided.

But what if you are on a low income and can't afford to tip much? Or don't have change, or something like that?

 

[Mia]

When I was a student I worked as a waitress off and on. And eventually cooked for many years, because it paid more. In canada the minimum restaurant wage was half the official minimum wage of the time. I was efficient and fast from the very beginning.
Few customers tipped more than two to three dollars per table of two to four people. Forty five percent of customers didn't tip at all. Most of the money I made was from tips, anywhere from fifty to one hundred dollars on a good day, which was more than my salary. Serving food, cleaning glasses and cups, plating desserts, making coffee and tea.

Just checked and tipped minimum wage in my province is $9.45 per hour, as a student when I worked in 'sit down' restaurants it was $5.00 per hour. So working for tips was an important part of my income. It made me efficient and motivated.

Find it interesting as a traveler in many countries in europe and the caribbean that waiters and waitresses respond well to tips. They're faster, more helpful, less disgruntled and more efficient. You definitely receive better, even different service than locals do. In both Spain and France and Italy, I received better service than most of the locals in restaurants because I tipped.

In Canada, tipping is almost mandatory, even people in cafes who make you a coffee or at fast food restaurants or bakeries have a tip jar. Again, if I receive poor service I don't tip, yet if it's efficient I do. It's often helpful to watch what other people tip in places, and decide from that amount.

 

[Mary Terry]

Mia - I so agree with you. I also worked as a waitress and short order cook as a college student back in the 1970s. It is a very hard physical job if done right. Waiters are constantly on their feet for 8 hour shifts, carrying heavy loads of dishes, keeping a friendly smile plastered on their faces while dealing with disgusting, rude and stingy non-tipping customers (who are usually the most demanding customers of all), dealing with restaurant management, trying to keep ketchup and food stuff off your shoes and clothing and to keep your hands clean, keeping up with all orders from all customers at all tables assigned to you, and delivering each course of food to each table on a timely basis. It is very hard and often demeaning work. A good server should be tipped, at least in the US where it is customary and expected.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. If you're in Europe where waiters often inherit their positions from their family relatives who were waiters before them, who view it as a respectable lifelong career, and who are paid good wages, then don't tip if you don't want to.

If you really can't afford to tip a waitress for good service, then you probably can't afford to be eating out in a restaurant anyway. Restaurants and wait staff are not charities, nor should they be.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Tipping is one of the few social interactions I know I can get right. The people who work for tips are generally working some of the lowest paid jobs out there. A nice tip from me goes a long way toward showing them some consideration and respect.

If the person has done a lousy job, I'll give them the U.S. standard 15%. If they've been friendly and at all helpful, I'll give them much more.

I've heard it stated that the best measure of character is how you treat those people who can't do anything for you - I very much believe this. I've seen high level executives be very demanding of and demeaning toward wait staff, and I lost all respect for those people.

 

[Anthracite]

I do not tip, ever. It's not a thing in the UK and I wouldn't do it any way; price advertised is price paid.

 

[Nervous Rex]

price advertised is price paid.

Must be nice. It seems like everywhere you turn in the U.S., there's some sneaky way to make the advertised price of something look like less than the real price.

• All sticker prices are before taxes.
• Most service industries in the U.S. pay below minimum wages, and employees are expected to make a decent wage through tips. The menu price is before taxes and tips.
• Don't even get me started on hidden fees from airlines, cell phone plans, cable providers, and car dealers.

 

[Judge]

Must be nice. It seems like everywhere you turn in the U.S., there's some sneaky way to make the advertised price of something look like less than the real price.

• All sticker prices are before taxes.
• Most service industries in the U.S. pay below minimum wages, and employees are expected to make a decent wage through tips. The menu price is before taxes and tips.
• Don't even get me started on hidden fees from airlines, cell phone plans, cable providers, and car dealers.

Yep. So many hidden costs to negotiate.

Also it always amazes me how people end up figuring the tip based not only on the cost of the meal, but in incorporating the tax as well. Mathematically resulting in over-tipping.

 

[Anthracite]

Must be nice. It seems like everywhere you turn in the U.S., there's some sneaky way to make the advertised price of something look like less than the real price.

• All sticker prices are before taxes.
• Most service industries in the U.S. pay below minimum wages, and employees are expected to make a decent wage through tips. The menu price is before taxes and tips.
• Don't even get me started on hidden fees from airlines, cell phone plans, cable providers, and car dealers.

Been to America once, couldn't make head nor tail of it. Luckily I was young enough my dad had to do all the transactions anyway. Also, I refuse to encourage a system where people are paid below the minimum wage.

 

[Mr Allen]

Been to America once, couldn't make head nor tail of it. Luckily I was young enough my dad had to do all the transactions anyway. Also, I refuse to encourage a system where people are paid below the minimum wage.

At the current exchange rate, the UK minimum wage translated into US Dollars would work out about $9 an hour at the current rate of, I think 78p to the Dollar.

UK minimum wage is currently £7.50 an hour AFAIK.

Although, when I bought a VIP membership on here at the beginning of last week, the $15 came to about £10.95 as I recall, works out about 73p to the Dollar by my reckoning.

 

[clg114]

It should be up to the employer to ensure that they are paid a fair wage and to reward them fro working well, such as perks and bonuses.


If they are getting a decent wage, then it is perfectly fair. The incentive should come from the rewards given by the employer, not the customer. In practice, customers are not always fair, reasonable, impartial tippers and often give tips according to other criteria other than good service, regardless whether (s)he does a good job or not. For example, a waitress who does a good job, but isn't pretty, might not get so many tips - so they are being judged on how they look and not whether they do a good job - that's just going to be an incentive for girls to dress up and look pretty, not to do a good job, and is a form of discrimination. What I find unfair, is that they are paid so little by their employer and don't earn a decent wage.


But what if you are on a low income and can't afford to tip much? Or don't have change, or something like that?

I worked for the Caterpillar dealer for Idaho for 23 years. They had a very good employee policy. It was very simple and worked well. "In business, you employees can make you or break you. Which way it goes depends on how well you take care of them". We had every benefit you can think of. The best health insurance available. We had a in house credit union. When I left there, I had three weeks vacation time, one week sick leave and five paid holidays per year.

The result? Everybody did their job to the best of their ability. There was very little turnover. Everyone made a good living. The company had happy employees and customers. What's not to like? Why don't all companies operate like this?

 

[Gritches]

I just see it as a social expectation, a sort of surcharge on whatever service you're getting. It doesn't cause me any sort of cognitive dissonance because I just factor in the cost of a tip to whatever tipped service I'm getting; seems a little ridiculous to be upset about something you know is a custom.

Of course, I also use tips to show gratitude when I do get exceptional service. If the waitress/waiter makes my dining experience particularly pleasant as opposed to just being the petty functionary who brings me my food, there's going to be $5 on the table instead of $2. $2 is what I was expecting to leave, but I have the discretion to leave more if I feel the service was truly good, then I get to feel good about myself knowing I rewarded someone for service that deserved rewarding.

Doesn't have to be so complicated. In fact, it doesn't seem complicated to me at all: I like when people are nice to me, and I don't really care why. I get the opportunity to reward them with money for being nice to me, so that's even better.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

particularly pleasant as opposed to just being the petty functionary

Don't you hate job title inflation?

 

[Major Tom]

Japan is tip free, it's actually an insult to offer one as far as I understand. People are expected to do their best always and usually are paid fairly. Back home I didn't have a problem with tipping because I understand the low wages that the servers etc are paid. One thing I disagree with is that all the people involved cooks etc don't usually get a share.

 

[pjcnet]

Here is an recent true story of how difficult tipping can become:

My friend who I also suspect is autistic booked a van driver plus 1 helper to deliver a new fish tank a couple of days ago, he paid £40 up front online for half an hour of work to transport it a very short distance. I had my friend's flat keys to let the driver and helper into his flat with the package while he was following about 5 minutes behind in a taxi from the shop. The delivery went fine at first, but at the end the workers started asking about getting a drink, it made me feel extremely awkward and I explained that I wasn't the customer, plus I didn't have any cash on me. They then awkwardly waited for my friend to arrive, waiting for a tip which was supposed to be optional, constantly going on about it, in fact they were very pushy and I felt very uncomfortable. My friend then called to say that he was close and when he heard them pressuring about it in the background he got really annoyed, then because of their behaviour he then didn't want to give them any extra. On his arrival he stated that he didn't have any extra money on him and they drove off moaning, stating that they knew they wouldn't even get a drink. My friend checked his bank account later that day to find an unauthorised payment had been taken from the same company, he received a receipt for the £40 of work stating that it was within the 30 minutes allocated without any extra charges due, but they had later illegally taken another £40 for absolutely nothing without authorisation and without a receipt, most probably in spite for not receiving a tip and of course this is illegal. He is still fighting to get this money back with the company repeatedly denying taking it even though it's clearly on his bank statement in their name with a transaction marked with "card not present" and he has now been forced to complain to his banks fraud team who are investigating. Even though it's not happened to myself the situation is still making my blood boil.


Sometimes when we visit restaurants we see a tip included by default on the bill, I'm not sure whether I like this or not, on the good side we know what we're supposed to be paying every time and we don't have to worry about a tip, but on the bad side we are virtually forced to pay a tip that should be optional, officially you have the right to ask for the tip to be removed from the bill, but even being on the autistic spectrum I know that would obviously be a huge insult and who is likely to do that? Even when we pay by card and a tip isn't included by default we are often prompted to add a tip, I think this is unfair because it's asking for a tip which is putting pressure on the customer to give one.

I don't believe customers should be rated with Uber taxis because they're bound to be more likely to be rated lower if they don't tip even though this isn't supposed to happen and as I said on this thread, I believe the whole rating system is prejudiced and causes people to be discriminated again.

As a customer I also hate the whole system of tipping, I also find it awkward and I would prefer services not accept tips at all and state that they pay the staff better accordingly without any tip being included on the bill by default either.


The other issue with tipping is from the side of the workers. Customers are often prejudiced and judgemental as to who they choose to tip and this is also often very unfair. For instance in a bar that has mostly male customers the nice looking bar maids are much more likely to get tips than any bar men and I know this for a fact from past experience. I used to work in a bar when I was a lot younger (it was one of the stupidest jobs I ever did) and the bar maids where virtually the only ones to be tipped, but the manager was particularly fair over this particular issue and stated that it was unfair for the women to keep all their tips alone because the bar men were working just as hard, he made everyone put their tips into one jar which were distributed evenly amongst all the staff at the end of the night. Unfortunately this kind of extra fairness is unlikely to happen everywhere and some staff will unfairly get most of the tips while others will barely ever get anything despite working just as hard. Even in a restaurant people tip the waiter or waitress, but what about the kitchen workers at the back who barely ever get anything in tips for their hard work?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

As a customer I also hate the whole system of tipping, I also find it awkward and I would prefer services not accept tips at all and state that they pay the staff better accordingly without any tip being included on the bill by default either

Have you left feedback first for Uber drivers in the past?

 

[SteveH]

OGM-again. I agree with several of you that tipping can be harder for the ASD community. All the social cues are harder. I always try to give a warm appreciative smile when someone is behind the counter and is nice to me. However, if I have had bad sleep or the place is chaotic, I may actually be frowning etc. I feel like if I give a generous tip it, it a may help communicate that I appreciate their service(a tip cannot make a strange facial expression. It can be stressful.