"Boys will be boys"

[When In Rome]

It's an age old expression, boys will be boys.

What does it say/mean to you?

Unless someone already knows, I will explain later why this is in the news.

To me, I interpret it as meaning boys will be mischievous sometimes, maybe do something that is typical of boys.

What's your take?

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

It means that boys will be naughty and mischievous sometimes, it's just how they are. In reality it is a phrase used to excuse behaviour in boys that wouldn't be seen as acceptable in girls, and often shouldn't be excused at all. For example when I was in school some boys would snap the bra straps of girls sitting in the seat in front of them, and when some of us complained to a teacher she just said "boys will be boys, just ignore them" thus beginning the cultural indoctrination that we should accept being sexually harassed without complaint because that's just how life is for a woman.

 

[Aspie_rin]

Boys will be boys is used as an excuse for boys' misdemeanor, claiming that it's in boys' nature to behave that way.

No matter wether or not boys tend to be more mischievious than girls by nature, both genders should be held upon the same standards, or else boys will never learn to do better.

 

[Adder1234]

It can depend a lot on the society that you're in as to what the saying means. I grew up in a pretty poor, rough rural town and "boys will be boys" was used to justify the constant fights that young boys got into. Then when I went to my cousins home suburb, which was pretty posh, it was used to explain boys obsession with action movies and violence.
To be completely honest, I don't think I ever saw it used to justify boys acting like pricks, at least where I lived, but I guess it must be different in other parts of the world. Also, like I said my town was rough, and most of the girls behaved just as bad, if not worse than the boys.

 

[xudo]

I agree with others, in that I've only ever heard it used to excuse bad behaviour, especially behaviour that girls would not have gotten away with.

 

[Mia]

Have usually heard it used after boys have done something. Drinking for example as adults, and fighting amongst themselves. Have also heard it used as an excuse for male behaviour around females.

 

[When In Rome]

Okay well those of you who use Facebook (I don't but learned of this from another forum), there's a story doing the rounds that Asda (a UK store similar to Walmart) has produced a child's t-shirt with that very statement on it... "Boys Will Be Boys".

Someone on that forum relayed the Facebook story, saying that she agreed that it was a terrible thing, a disgustung thing for Asda to have done and said that anyone who wanted to complain should email Asda directly.

I just couldn't see any untoward intention and tbh what the fuss was all about, everyone else in the thread agreed with me too, that it was another PC Brigade thing but, some of the comments I read were unbelievable including this which was the worst:

"'Boys will be boys' is essentially normalising r.a.p.e culture at its most extreme extrapolation.

I'm left thinking at what point in a mind could it reach that interpretation? We have a 9yo and 7yo, would the world, if they wore this tee in the street consider them as potential rapists, now or later?

Pretty unbelievable isn't it but because there are some, in the minority yes, but there are some who see a sinister element, it does make for discussion.

The replies so far have shown the most common understanding which is that the expression means 'boys doing as boys do; climbing trees, being mischievous' - just that.

 

[When In Rome]

It's actually a sweatshirt. And when I checked just now it was sold out. They must be selling well huh...

 

[tree]

The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys' | HuffPost
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/the-problem-with-boys-will-be-boys_b_3186555.html
I don't care for either expression, myself.
"Boys will be boys" or "Girls will be girls"

They are both stereotypical.

I enjoyed the article, linked above.

 

[When In Rome]

The world according to Huffington Post

We live in a transgender age, like it or not.

I expect Asda to roll out a Boys Will Be Girls model sometime in the future.

 

[hurtloam]

I kind of get it actually. It's the thin end of the wedge. I don't really like the phrase.

I often look at children and wonder what sort of awful life they are going to end up with. I don't see innocence in them. I can look at a kid in the street and wonder if they will be drug dealer. I can look at a little girl and feel sad that she'll never find love, but instead will end up with a man that will hit her.

Some of us are bleak.

 

[Sylar]

I don't see anything wrong with the phrase. I was always raised to believe it's meant to dismiss (not the best word but I can't think of a better one) stupid, but mostly harmless things boys do. A boy climbs a tree and falls, one adult gets mad that they did it and got hurt, another says "boys will be boys". They still feel bad that the kid got hurt but there's no point in getting mad or upset. Boys will climb trees, and they'll do it again even if they fall and get hurt. Boys will go off on their bikes and look for things to jump off/over. Boys will play fight and maybe take it too far. In the end they're going to do it no matter how hard an adult tries to prevent it because boys will be boys, it's just something that's in our nature.

 

[Sylar]

The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys' | HuffPost

In any way comparing destroying a block castle to rape. What a disgusting article, what else can you expect from "journalism" today?

 

[tree]

I didn't see anything disgusting about the article.
Other than the possibility that children who don't learn
to respect boundaries might grow up to be adults
that don't respect boundaries.

 

[Axeman52]

Boys will climb trees, and they'll do it again even if they fall and get hurt. Boys will go off on their bikes and look for things to jump off/over. Boys will play fight and maybe take it too far. In the end they're going to do it no matter how hard an adult tries to prevent it because boys will be boys, it's just something that's in our nature.

I guess I was never a real boy then

 

[Gritches]

The phrase is a way for authority figures to justify a non-response by legitimizing aggressive or generally "bad" behavior. In that way the phrase is about on par with "life isn't fair".

I also don't like the implications for the future. If "boys will be boys" is fine until the late teens/early adulthood, that's a lot of damage to undo caused by the passive-permissive parenting style. The damage is left to be undone by the criminal justice system, which never works because you can't punish away a personality trait.

Kids push their boundaries to find out where the line is between right and wrong. If "boys will be boys" wins out, it tells the kid on a deep psychological level that their ****** behavior falls into the "right" category. Stop making damn excuses for them and wrangle your brat.

 

[Sylar]

I didn't see anything disgusting about the article.
Other than the possibility that children who don't learn
to respect boundaries might grow up to be adults
that don't respect boundaries.

It's disgusting because it takes one type of behaviour and automatically uses hyperbole to apply it to a much more serious issue. Not only is the message foolish, it's also extremely dangerous to society. Knocking over some plastic blocks doesn't even begin to compare to raping someone and anyone who would make that connection or agree with it either have no real experience with rape or are idiots.

Even ignoring the false equivalence, the article doesn't even begin to suggest any other potential reason for the behaviour. I guess it's impossible the child could have some mental or emotional issue that leaves him acting aggressive in the hopes of getting enough attention to find help, whether that be medication, therapy or some other act to learn discipline in a way that works for the child.

Let's just suggest without any sense of doubt or irony that a child who does a destructive but harmless act (outside of short term hurt feelings) could go on to carry out a very serious and damaging crime because "they don't respect boundaries". Nothing disgusting about that, the author shouldn't be ashamed at all. I'm sure they have a load of formal education and experience with psychology and aren't an angry parent pulling general statements out of their arse because something happened in the world to upset their child.

I guess I was never a real boy then

I guess not, *****. In all serious, I was suggesting that there is a very real difference between sexes, as much as some people would try to deny it. Gender is a social tool that helps identify behaviours between sexes but they don't dictate it. The examples I made doesn't mean girls can't do it or boys who didn't do it aren't real boys. Just that in our culture, those behaviours are more common and therefore more expected in boys than girls.

 

[tree]

@Sylar
The article's extended analogy seems to have
annoyed you.

 

[When In Rome]

I also don't like the implications for the future. If "boys will be boys" is fine until the late teens/early adulthood, that's a lot of damage to undo caused by the passive-permissive parenting style.

If they're late teens then they will be men and won't be wearing a sweatshirt saying boys will be boys. I doubt it anyway - if those late teens wore a sweatshirt saying men will be men then we might have more to worry about.

 

[When In Rome]

It's disgusting because it takes one type of behaviour and automatically uses hyperbole to apply it to a much more serious issue. Not only is the message foolish, it's also extremely dangerous to society. Knocking over some plastic blocks doesn't even begin to compare to raping someone and anyone who would make that connection or agree with it either have no real experience with rape or are idiots.

Even ignoring the false equivalence, the article doesn't even begin to suggest any other potential reason for the behaviour. I guess it's impossible the child could have some mental or emotional issue that leaves him acting aggressive in the hopes of getting enough attention to find help, whether that be medication, therapy or some other act to learn discipline in a way that works for the child.

Quite. I have read it but come to the same conclusion and the article is typical of something you would expect to find in that 'news resource'.

It does coincide with the comment I read from another forum and mentioned above, saying that the wording promoted r@pe.

In short, PC brigade nonsense. Perhaps some people have got far too much time on their hands.

From the Beastie Boys album Paul's Boutique - "Men Boys & Ladies" - nothing for girls then - the sort of thing someone will notice and demand that it be changed.