You might be an Aspie/Autie if?/Jokes

[cherryq]

- You carry ear plugs and a fidget toy with you everywhere in case you get overwhelmed.

- You avoid calling customer support and will search for an online chat or email option for help. If neither is found, you still avoid customer support and deal with the broken item or crappy service until a friend offers to call for you.

- You wait until at least the third ring to answer the phone at work because you have to give yourself a mental pep talk first.

- You have a written list (in order) of things to do to get ready for bed.

- You also have a written gym routine, and if someone is on the machine you need to go to next, you don't know what to do and fight the urge to run to the locker room and rock in a corner.

- You tried living on your own for awhile but soon realized you couldn't keep up with cleaning, groceries, work, and school. Your apartment turned to disarray and you moved in with a friend as soon as your lease was up.

- You wear yellow-tinted sunglasses at night when driving (and sometimes while in the passenger seat).

- You wear the darkest sunglasses you own during the day if outdoors, even if it's cloudy. Sometimes, it's still too bright!

 

[Liam Sifr]

You might be an aspie if you are going on a three hour road trip to a place you've never been before. You make sure the car is filled with gas, the oil and windshield washer and brake fluid is checked, the tires are perfectly inflated.

You have two window scrapers, extra windshield fluid, an emergency kit, and a medical kit. Your GPS is pre-programmed, and you have back-up printed maps in case the GPS can't find a signal.

There is food and water in the car, blankets, tissues, wet wipes, hand sanitizer and an emergency phone. You've checked well ahead on exactly where you will be and pre-googled a street view of the area so that you know where everything is and you won't get lost.

I'd add: But you forgot to lock the door on the way out.

 

[Mia]

You may be an Aspie couple if someone rings your doorbell and you freeze, gesturing and whispering and hiding as you are not expecting anyone.

 

[Full Steam]

You may be an Aspie couple if someone rings your doorbell and you freeze, gesturing and whispering and go hide because you are not expecting anyone.

Trick or treat night - my most hated night of the year.

 

[xudo]

Trick or treat night - my most hated night of the year.

We close all the curtains and lock the front door. You come looking for sweets at our house on Halloween, you're gonna be disappointed. We're sat inside eating them.

 

[Mia]

You might be an aspie if you get upset when your spouse offers to add fruit to the same cereal you have been eating since you were a four year old. In my spouse's opinion that would be a change, and not a good one.

Blueberries though, are sometimes permissible, as long as there is some per-warning that those blueberries are on the table before the cereal is poured into a bowl.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Wife took in a package for our next door neighbour, now can't relax.

There'll be a knock on the door at some point..

Sometimes they don't even come the same day...

 

[xudo]

Wife took in a package for our next door neighbour, now can't relax.

There'll be a knock on the door at some point..

Sometimes they don't even come the same day...

I hate this. We once had a parcel for a neighbour down the street for over a week before he came and picked it up.

 

[Bolletje]

We had really lazy neighbours so we decided that if the parcel sat in our house for over three months we could open it. Too bad they never offered anything nice. Footballs, santa hats and XXXL pyjama pants. Meh

 

[Nitro]

We had really lazy neighbours so we decided that if the parcel sat in our house for over three months we could open it. Too bad they never offered anything nice. Footballs, santa hats and XXXL pyjama pants. Meh

laughs...I call that a gain by osmosis

Kind of like "I've had your leaf rake so long now that it is officially mine"

 

[orphan]

If as a child, you would scratch holes in yourself while someone explained why "we" don't do that.

If you hold your breath when driving under a bridge...
At 40, because you're still not sure.

If you ask for 12 ice cubes in your coffee, and you know they put in 16.

If you drive 40 minutes on side streets, when the streets downtown only take 10 minutes... because well no.

 

[Mr Allen]

You sign up to comparethemarket.com every year to look for Home Insurance quotes purely to get one of those Meerkat dolls even though you're too old for dolls and your Nephew and Niece are as well.

Also, you go all the way down Town to attend a "Jobs Fair" at the Town Hall knowing full well there'll be no suitable jobs there, and even if there had been, I can't work full time for personal and other reasons.

 

[xudo]

You sign up to comparethemarket.com every year to look for Home Insurance quotes purely to get one of those Meerkat dolls even though you're too old for dolls and your Nephew and Niece are as well.

I did this when they first started giving them away. I have the Sergei meerkat

Also, I was starting to wonder where you'd gotten to as I haven't seen you post for a few days.

 

[Mr Allen]

I did this when they first started giving them away. I have the Sergei meerkat

Also, I was starting to wonder where you'd gotten to as I haven't seen you post for a few days.

I've been rather busy with my offline life, you see contrary to popular belief I do actually have one!

 

[Bolletje]

Why don't I live in a country where they give away free meerkats

 

[xudo]

I've been rather busy with my offline life, you see contrary to popular belief I do actually have one!

I didn't mean to insinuate anything, I just wondered why you weren't around!

 

[Caitie33]

You have trouble keeping your house clean and organized but you insist that the silverware and dishes always be put in the exact same places.

You always realize that you said or did something odd in a social situation hours later after analyzing it in your mind.

Sometimes even the most simple interactions, like at the store are really awkward. I always use self checkout.

You always go through the drive through or get take out instead of going in to a restaurant.

You prefer to watch movies at home and will even wait to rent it rather than go to a theater.

 

[Jennacide]

- your volume on your tv or pc must be set on multiples of 5 eg, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25

- your sammich must have ingredients placed in a certain order

- you must complete an entire tv series once you start

- you must speed through and complete an entire video game in one sitting

- you only wear one colour of clothing that makes you comfortable (i only wear black or slight colour with black)

- you repeat entire social conversations in your head over and over and try to think of things you could have said better

- people think you are just lazy and a sook

- you enjoy sorting your books and video games over and over again

 

[Gritches]

You might be Aspie if:

-It bothers you that there are an odd number of Ritz crackers in a sleeve

-It bothers you that there are an odd number of Sprees in a roll

-It bothers you that there are an odd number of Sweet Tarts in a roll

-It bothers you that there are an odd number of Gushers in a pack

-It bothers you that gum comes in packs of 15, not 14 or 16

-You feel a deep sense of loss when your lighter dies

-Workers at McDonalds send you Christmas cards

-You have strong opinions regarding allergy medications

-You have deliberately taken a longer route just to avoid traffic

-You can spend a day with another Aspie and say less than 25 words total

 

[spaceman]

Or as Nitro once mentioned to me, our need to arrive on whole numbers pertaining to the price and/or volume at the gasoline pump. Guilty as charged.

Pumps tend to add a 1p weather you went over or not, they programmed at 00, to add a 1p. I NEVER pay that BS. So I stop at £ X.99. They gotta give ME a penny then.