My worries about scaring you guys

[Oz67]

I feel bad for scaring you guys and although I did not feel well, I feel bad, I am sorry

 

[Cryptid]

To what are you referring?

 

[Oz67]

To what are you referring?

I was talking about illegal negative thoughts and delusional ideas against my former bullies I had.

 

[Outdated]

A doctor once told me that there are only two types of insanity - Neurosis and Psychosis. Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them.

All people are a bit neurotic from time to time, we all have thoughts like you describe now and then, but we know them for what they are and don't take them seriously. If I could be arrested for thoughts I've had I would have been incarcerated full time since the age of 8.

Where the trouble starts is when you start focusing on these thoughts and start treating them as real. That is when you cross the line between neurosis and psychosis.

 

[Oz67]

A doctor once told me that there are only two types of insanity - Neurosis and Psychosis. Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them.

All people are a bit neurotic from time to time, we all have thoughts like you describe now and then, but we know them for what they are and don't take them seriously. If I could be arrested for thoughts I've had I would have been incarcerated full time since the age of 8.

Where the trouble starts is when you start focusing on these thoughts and start treating them as real. That is when you cross the line between neurosis and psychosis.

It turned into psychosis, and was sometimes lucid and felt guilty for those delusional beliefs I had.

 

[Outdated]

We all have those thoughts, not just autistics, all people. You'll never stop that from happening, but how you respond to them is a choice.

[Edit] just thought I should add - talking to yourself is a good thing. Sometimes you just have to pull yourself up short and tell yourself to stop being foolish.

 

[Oz67]

We all have those thoughts, not just autistics, all people. You'll never stop that from happening, but how you respond to them is a choice.

[Edit] just thought I should add - talking to yourself is a good thing. Sometimes you just have to pull yourself up short and tell yourself to stop being foolish.

Thanks, it's just those delusional fantasies that I had against my former bullies feels so strong to me, because in elementary school, I was called "Stupid" , "Loser" and "Idiot" for being very odd and I felt betrayed and traumatized.

 

[Jumpinbare]

It might be fair to say most of us were called those names and others. Mine also included spaz, dork, and re**rd. I knew I was smart, and so did the bullies, because sometimes they called me know-it-all or bookworm (as if those were insults).
It's probably also fair to say many of us plotted revenge. When you are the one who stops you from trying to carry out your plots, that is healthy self control

 

[Outdated]

It wasn't just name calling, it was the deliberate public embarrassment, that's how all childhood bullies work. "If you stole his maths books he'd probably cry rape." got the whole class laughing.

But in hindsight all that stuff is trivial and meaningless. I ended up with a far better life that any of them could ever even dream of. For me revenge will simply be living long enough to urinate on their graves.

 

[Crossbreed]

Neurotics build castles in the sky, psychotics live in them.

...and psychologists collect the rent...!

 

[Oz67]

It might be fair to say most of us were called those names and others. Mine also included spaz, dork, and re**rd. I knew I was smart, and so did the bullies, because sometimes they called me know-it-all or bookworm (as if those were insults).
It's probably also fair to say many of us plotted revenge. When you are the one who stops you from trying to carry out your plots, that is healthy self control

I know how to to that, but having homicidal delusional beliefs and command hallucinations on my former bullies is not normal, but I never act on it, because I don't want to be in prison for a long time.

 

[Oz67]

It wasn't just name calling, it was the deliberate public embarrassment, that's how all childhood bullies work. "If you stole his maths books he'd probably cry rape." got the whole class laughing.

But in hindsight all that stuff is trivial and meaningless. I ended up with a far better life that any of them could ever even dream of. For me revenge will simply be living long enough to urinate on their graves.

I agree

 

[Mary Terry]

@Oz67 - Your posts don't bother me, and I try to understand why you are having these feelings and thoughts. I'm certainly not a psychologist or qualified in any way as a mental health professional, but I personally think that fantasizing about revenge can have positive mental health benefits as long as you don't act on them. It can be a way for your brain to process what happened to you and the injustice of it.

 

[Oz67]

@Oz67 - Your posts don't bother me, and I try to understand why you are having these feelings and thoughts. I'm certainly not a psychologist or qualified in any way as a mental health professional, but I personally think that fantasizing about revenge can have positive mental health benefits as long as you don't act on them. It can be a way for your brain to process what happened to you and the injustice of it.

Yes, it can be healthy, but I also was a bit psychotic about it and had command hallucinations about that issue.

 

[Rodafina]

Yes, it can be healthy, but I also was a bit psychotic about it and had command hallucinations about that issue.

I think it can be helpful to let these revenge thoughts come and go. They may pop into your head uninvited and that's okay. Like others have said, as long as you don't act on them, they are just thoughts and not dangerous. Feeding into them, however, can perpetuate the cycle of feeling badly.

Sometimes, there is no justice for things like bullying and the best we can do is heal ourselves and find ways to live where we are free from the trauma we experienced in our past. Perseverating on revenge and justice can keep you chained to your trauma rather than freed from it.

Similar to intrusive thoughts or rumination, it may be helpful to let these thoughts come and go. Try not to give them too much power or importance. They come into your mind and you understand why (those bullies hurt you), but you know you will not hurt anyone and that having the thoughts does not make you a horrible person, and so then you can let them go.

I understand that auditory hallucinations are different from intrusive thoughts, but I think some of the same principles apply. And of course, the guidance of a psychiatrist can be critical as well.

 

[Oz67]

I think it can be helpful to let these revenge thoughts come and go. They may pop into your head uninvited and that's okay. Like others have said, as long as you don't act on them, they are just thoughts and not dangerous. Feeding into them, however, can perpetuate the cycle of feeling badly.

Sometimes, there is no justice for things like bullying and the best we can do is heal ourselves and find ways to live where we are free from the trauma we experienced in our past. Perseverating on revenge and justice can keep you chained to your trauma rather than freed from it.

Similar to intrusive thoughts or rumination, it may be helpful to let these thoughts come and go. Try not to give them too much power or importance. They come into your mind and you understand why (those bullies hurt you), but you know you will not hurt anyone and that having the thoughts does not make you a horrible person, and so then you can let them go.

I understand that auditory hallucinations are different from intrusive thoughts, but I think some of the same principles apply. And of course, the guidance of a psychiatrist can be critical as well.

Also they were children as I was a child, as it happened in elementary school. One day I confronted them and asked them why they called me that, they developed some empathy and remorse, they apologized and never made fun of me again. But it's still traumatic.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Also they were children as I was a child, as it happened in elementary school. One day I confronted them and asked them why they called me that, they developed some empathy and remorse, they apologized and never made fun of me again. But it's still traumatic.

Wow, so few people have that experience. You are blessed. They could have just shrugged it off to being young and stupid, but you actually witnessed remorse and apology.

 

[Oz67]

Wow, so few people have that experience. You are blessed. They could have just shrugged it off to being young and stupid, but you actually witnessed remorse and apology.

That is true