Re: when to tell people you are an aspie
Hi total Recoil!
We did the same thing with a Great Dane from the SPCA. He has been starved by some maniac & beaten. He was 2 yrs old but only weighed 91lbs (a skeleton!). He had an ulcer on the side of his cheek from being repeatedly beaten with a stick (!). He didn't even have a NAME when the SPCA got him. He's a big guy now, but he'll never grow to normal male Great Dane size. He's the sweetest, most gentle, kind, fun, sensitive to others, considerate, playful loveable dog. We took my puggy (my closest friend & companion & I don't HAVE or want friends or companions!) a day later so neither dog had the chance to become territorial & reject the other. The 2 dogs are like close happy siblings. The Dane treats the pug (small & slim for her age & breed) ever so gently & is very kind to her: cleaning her face, making sure she has supper too before he eats. He's a true gentleman. I can't imagine bossing the dogs around or treating them like they're lesser. I make my pug's food from scratch using the best meats & organic vegetables. the Dane needs a special diet due to his fragile start in life. He tends to become ill & get worms & digestive issues despite our best efforts. We're doing all we can for him.
The pug was another story. I responded to an ad on Kijiji (a free online classified ads site in Canada). Several ads seemed dodgy (basement breeders supplementing their welfare!!!) but this ad had the perfect pug for us (same age as the Dane). The owner was a student who was never home & the pug wasn't getting the attention she needed. As soon as I arrived at the apartment, the pug ran to me & leapt into my arms. Turns out that the seller was a friend of my daughter's friend! I send her photos & updates on the pug regularly.
Both dogs notice when someone is different. They notice it in me (I see them watching sometimes) & they notice people with Down's Syndrome, Autism spectrum disorders & even Dementia. They're not fooled by attempts to appear normal but aren't biased against difference either: they just look & take a mental note.
As for looking a dog in the eye, their comfort level with this varies from one to the next. In dog culture, this is aggressive behaviour. some interpret it that way when a human being does it. Our Dane, however, does this 'thing' where he comes nose to nose with you & stares deep into your eyes. It is truly arresting & remarkable. The pug becomes uncomfortable & self-conscious if you eye-ball her & seems to begin wondering what she did wrong.