What do YOU consider rude?

[Keith]

Oh! You just reminded me. I've had a long history of not being good with group work, one reason being I can't hear anything because of other groups talking in the room. I was taken advantage of in high school once to the extent where my parents consulted the professor and he helped deal with the problem.

I also had a "friend" once who would ask if he could "borrow" video games from me (I think he might've even said "Can I have this?"). Of course, being a kid, I naively said "yes". I never saw those games again. I've since purchased copies of those games (probably mine) from a local used video game store which retails games as old as the Atari 2600.

 

[Hidden]

Touching without permission.
And ignoring people unless you want something from them. That's just downright...

 

[Keith]

When I try to start a conversation but everyone else is distracted by something.

 

[toothless]

#being told that the opinions of mine arent important because am LFA and cant form complex thoughts, have had this off more aspies than NTs.

#being treated like am invisible and everyone speaking to the support staff or parents,one time had gone to PC world to buy a laptop as had knackered the motherboard of the last one in a epileptic seizure,the shop staff there completely denied existance and spoke to the support staff even though they knew nothing about computers and am a computer geek.
was using a AAC device to speak with and tried to show the staff the requirements of mine,but she completely blanked it and kept trying to force support staff to buy a crap advent one on offer as well as microsoft office and norton 360 suite on top.

despite having to stand there educating support staff on the fact was a proud user of open office and AVG free at the time,this woman kept pressuring her to buy these products [its not even her money?] and said open office doesnt run on windows vista and newer;erm it did because had got it running no problem on sisters,dads and mine vista computers sucessfuly.
in the end the support staff listened to self and told the woman what we were buying,she agreed-when we got home she was checking the receipt and realised she had added the office and 360 suites,we got a months free laptop insurance for that.

 

[Hidden]

When I try to start a conversation but everyone else is distracted by something.

Hate this!! It makes me feel like I'm nothing to them, and not worth including or listening to.

 

[J. Ann]

I hate general discrimination and bullying towards anyone. The way people treat others because of disabilities, sexuality, appearance, weight, religion, race, etc. can be really horrible.

Another thing that I think is really rude is when people talk to me less as a peer and more as an adult kindly talking to a child. I may have a lack of social/communication skills, but I can tell when someone is talking to me in a way that implies I'm "slow". It leaves the insecurity and thought in the back of my mind that everyone I'm around and talking to thinks I'm "slow"/"special".

 

[GoofKing]

Another thing that I think is really rude is when people talk to me less as a peer and more as an adult kindly talking to a child. I may have a lack of social/communication skills, but I can tell when someone is talking to me in a way that implies I'm "slow". It leaves the insecurity and thought in the back of my mind that everyone I'm around and talking to thinks I'm "slow"/"special".

Ugh I hate that as well and I know that feeling all too well about telling when someone is patronizing my age and talking to me like a child or someone who is slow

I think it's really rude when people don't take the time to listen to me when I tell them that there isn't an extra 'g' in my last name but they spell it with it anyways :/ It's like they doubt that I could even spell my own last name or something!

 

[Hidden]

Ugh I hate that as well and I know that feeling all too well about telling when someone is patronizing my age and talking to me like a child or someone who is slow

I think it's really rude when people don't take the time to listen to me when I tell them that there isn't an extra 'g' in my last name but they spell it with it anyways :/ It's like they doubt that I could even spell my own last name or something!

Even my 'friends' do this. I'm just a child to them.

 

[Sheogorath]

I am Dutch, and my culture is terribly honest and straight forward. It is something that I grew to appreciate: People tell you what they think, which makes situations crystal clear for someone like me. I rather have people being honest with me -even if that means they are going to be rude- than not. So I don't quickly find something rude. If I look terrible today, I know somebody I know is going to tell me. So I can handle a lot.

I can't stand manipulation, gossiping, lying and and all that's unfair. That is what I really find rude.

 

[King_Oni]

I am Dutch, and my culture is terribly honest and straight forward. It is something that I grew to appreciate: People tell you what they think, which makes situations crystal clear for someone like me. I rather have people being honest with me -even if that means they are going to be rude- than not. So I don't quickly find something rude. If I look terrible today, I know somebody I know is going to tell me. So I can handle a lot.

I can't stand manipulation, gossiping, lying and and all that's unfair. That is what I really find rude.

And to think that I already feel the dutch aren't honest and straight forward enough most of the time.

The more I think about this, the more I'd probably feel disappointed by other people across the globe...

 

[WildCat]

It works both ways. Just because my concept of "rude" is somewhat different, yet not completely so, doesn't invalidate it altogether.

That being said, there's really too much for me to list here and I don't want to echo off a checklist of things here.

 

[Keith]

I don't know whether I brought this up before but I go to an adult education class for Aspergians. A couple students got to talking about Dr. Who one day and another asked what that is. The first two loudly said "Who's Dr. Who?!". I think that was rude as they were finding it absurd that the student didn't know about Dr. Who. Granted, it's been very popular for several years now, but some people don't keep up on the trends and it's rude to act like those people are stupid if they're ignorant of the latest fads.

BTW, I was ignorant of Dr. Who until no more than a year ago, and even now only know the basics of the franchise.

 

[Sheogorath]

And to think that I already feel the dutch aren't honest and straight forward enough most of the time.

The more I think about this, the more I'd probably feel disappointed by other people across the globe...

Not everyone is the same. Overall you see Dutch people being a bit "too" honest for other people's liking. This is what I hear the most from foreigners who moved here and tourists.

And how do you mean, you are "disappointed"?

 

[King_Oni]

Not everyone is the same. Overall you see Dutch people being a bit "too" honest for other people's liking. This is what I hear the most from foreigners who moved here and tourists.

And how do you mean, you are "disappointed"?

Oh, I agree that a lot of tourists often feel the dutch are a bit "too honest".

Perhaps it's just that I like people to be brutally honest even if it would border on being offensive. I guess the expression "Call a spade a spade" applies for me personally.

Well, the disappointment lies in the fact that apparently, on a global scale, we, the dutch are already being seen as too honest and straight forward. I don't think we're honest enough. And if people elsewhere on the globe are less honest, I can imagine there's way too much disappointment for me to expect honest from these people in general. I already notice this whenever I visit Germany. I always found the Germans really polite and friendly, and while I can appreciate someone being friendly, I'm not too thrilled if politeness and friendliness should be an obstacle to be honest and call something what it is.

However, I guess there's another issue at hand. Honesty and being rude often go hand in hand, yet they don't need to be. Some people just don't know how to pick their words properly. Perhaps that's where the problem lies.

Example; Someone is really obese/overweight and through some conversation the topic comes up.

"You're a bit overweight" is polite, but nowhere a correct statement in that case. "You're a fat pig" seems rude and insulting. "You're obese and that by itself might be healthconcern" actually does address the issue in a neutral way IMO. Yet, either people try to make it look less bad or people just yell out an insult to address it. I guess it's a bit of tact some people... I doubt they lack it, they just seem a bit lazy to apply this in daily communication.

 

[Sheogorath]

Oh, I agree that a lot of tourists often feel the dutch are a bit "too honest".

Perhaps it's just that I like people to be brutally honest even if it would border on being offensive. I guess the expression "Call a spade a spade" applies for me personally.

Well, the disappointment lies in the fact that apparently, on a global scale, we, the dutch are already being seen as too honest and straight forward. I don't think we're honest enough. And if people elsewhere on the globe are less honest, I can imagine there's way too much disappointment for me to expect honest from these people in general. I already notice this whenever I visit Germany. I always found the Germans really polite and friendly, and while I can appreciate someone being friendly, I'm not too thrilled if politeness and friendliness should be an obstacle to be honest and call something what it is.

However, I guess there's another issue at hand. Honesty and being rude often go hand in hand, yet they don't need to be. Some people just don't know how to pick their words properly. Perhaps that's where the problem lies.

Example; Someone is really obese/overweight and through some conversation the topic comes up.

"You're a bit overweight" is polite, but nowhere a correct statement in that case. "You're a fat pig" seems rude and insulting. "You're obese and that by itself might be healthconcern" actually does address the issue in a neutral way IMO. Yet, either people try to make it look less bad or people just yell out an insult to address it. I guess it's a bit of tact some people... I doubt they lack it, they just seem a bit lazy to apply this in daily communication.

Oh I definitely agree it depends on how you put it. You can get a message across without being rude. But then again; rudeness is subjective and some peoole will get offended just because you said something they don't want to hear.

 

[King_Oni]

I don't know whether I brought this up before but I go to an adult education class for Aspergians. A couple students got to talking about Dr. Who one day and another asked what that is. The first two loudly said "Who's Dr. Who?!". I think that was rude as they were finding it absurd that the student didn't know about Dr. Who. Granted, it's been very popular for several years now, but some people don't keep up on the trends and it's rude to act like those people are stupid if they're ignorant of the latest fads.

BTW, I was ignorant of Dr. Who until no more than a year ago, and even now only know the basics of the franchise.

I run into this issue every once in a while with any of my friends about random topics. Though I have ended up asking what something is cause I didn't know.

The issue I see is, who decides what's common knowledge? For some reason we all have some vague idea what people should know, but that's rarely the case. Trends might be a specific thing you keep up with if you actively seek it out, but it goes beyond trends. What about history? Physics?

 

[2aspirin]

I consider it really rude to exhibit life-threatening or health-depriving behavior like following very closely behind a car at 70-80 miles per hour, weaving in and out of traffic at high speed, serving poorly handled food to people, smoking around people, running a gas powered leaf blower near neighbors' open windows for a couple of hours. Etc. Those top my list. A lot of more minor things seem to just be about ego-management and social rules. I don't like when people have no patience and start talking right over what others are saying and keep going, like a bulldozer of words, shoving back others' words.

 

[Ylva]

The issue I see is, who decides what's common knowledge? For some reason we all have some vague idea what people should know, but that's rarely the case. Trends might be a specific thing you keep up with if you actively seek it out, but it goes beyond trends. What about history? Physics?

I wish physics and maths counted. Seems to be mostly TV series and such, though. Not that I don't have a tendency to assume that whatever I know, everyone else knows… But I don't mock people for not knowing when it turns out that they don't.

 

[Keith]

We live on a hill and my next-door-neighbor who lives just up the hill from where we are over-waters his back lawn to the extent where it erodes the soil, etc, on our property. Dad has discussed the issue with them several times over the years, but they deny the problem and claim "it's only because we're on a hill and that's how a hill works".

 

[Keith]

When people try to predict what I'm going to do or say.

SCENARIO 1

I see something that happened forty years ago today on Wikipedia's "this day in history".
I dash into the family room to tell Mom.
ME: It was forty years ago today--
MOM: Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play {smiles}
ME: {sigh} No, {explain what it was}

SCENARIO 2

Mom told me not to put a bowl I'd used for chips in the sink because I'll only be using it again. I'd clearly in the past mentioned I'd been trying to cut back and had been limiting myself to one bowl a day (as opposed to up to five bowls) for many days before the incident. We were on a camping trip, however, which does tend to throw things out of whack.