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My obsession with being special, powerful, and superior

Libecht

Libecht

Well-Known Member
So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).

I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?
 
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Sounds like you're a normal teenager.
(checks age)
Edit: Sounds like you are an immature but still normal enough 22 year old. Immaturity is normal for aspies, we tend to take a bit longer to grow up.

This is a phase many people go through. Most grow out of it quickly enough or get kicked out of it by reality, the challenges of adult life, and the realisation of their own unavoidable mediocrity. If you don't grow out of it by the time your 30 be concerned.
 
Libecht said:
So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, survivability, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).

I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. Could that mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis.
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I wonder if Professor Tony Attwood has done a YouTube video on this subject
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
Sounds like you're a normal teenager.
(checks age)
Edit: Sounds like you are an immature but still normal enough 22 year old. Immaturity is normal for aspies, we tend to take a bit longer to grow up.

This is a phase many people go through. Most grow out of it quickly enough or get kicked out of it by reality, the challenges of adult life, and the realisation of their own unavoidable mediocrity. If you don't grow out of it by the time your 30 be concerned.
Click to expand...
So are you saying it's normal for young people to feel this way? Personally I think the difference is that while many teens think they're better and smarter, I work hard to be better and smarter. Also I actually developed this mindset after high school, so it doesn't seem like something that I'll grow out of any time soon.
What are your thoughts on this?
 
It's not a healthy obsession and one which will inevitably magnify any social difficulties exponentially. It could even end up with trouble with law enforcement if not kept in check. If it feels like a compulsion which dominates your thoughts at any point, it might be wise to seek professional guidance.

Maybe look into NPD and see if anything sounds familiar.

Frequently Asked Questions about Narcissistic Personality Disorder
 
Autistamatic said:
It's not a healthy obsession and one which will inevitably magnify any social difficulties exponentially. It could even end up with trouble with law enforcement if not kept in check. If it feels like a compulsion which dominates your thoughts at any point, it might be wise to seek professional guidance.

Maybe look into NPD and see if anything sounds familiar.

Frequently Asked Questions about Narcissistic Personality Disorder
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I did a research on NPD and I do not believe it fits me. For example, I don't think I'm more intelligent or stronger. Instead, I aspire to be and I actually work hard in order to achieve that. I also welcome criticism, as it helps me recognize my problems and inadequacy.
 
Libecht said:
I did a research on NPD and I do not believe it fits me. For example, I don't think I'm more intelligent or stronger. Instead, I aspire to be and I actually work hard in order to achieve that. I also welcome criticism, as it helps me recognize my problems and inadequacy.
Click to expand...

Not believing you have NPD is one of it's traits, but leaving that aside, have you taken into account that your search is futile. You cannot be "Better than other people".

Yes you can be better skilled at some things, but it comes at a price. Whatever you gain in one area is balanced by weaknesses elsewhere. You can never overcome that. You will always be bad at some things and be the worst at others, even if you can legitimately claim to be better in a few areas.

Autistic people are different but we are not superior to others. We are equal in a way many don't recognise. The suggestion that others are inferior is not only unfair and inaccurate, but risks everything we have achieved so far in reaching equality. Modesty and humility are the greatest strengths one can have. Pride comes before a fall.
 
I actually know what you mean. Ive felt that desire for power. And the day dreams of having super powers. It does help with work outs. And writing good books. Reality has tempered that desire. With the realization there are limits to what i can do.
 
donutface.jpg
 
Libecht, there are two main problems with your obsession about superiority.

First, if you let this attitude leak into your interactions with other people, you are going to make enemies. Your position of being better than others, necessarily means they are worse. Think about that.

Second, if you get too comfortable with your self-image as superior, when something negative happens your self-image can be terribly injured. As Autistamatic said, pride goes before a fall.
 
Autistamatic said:
Not believing you have NPD is one of it's traits, but leaving that aside, have you taken into account that your search is futile. You cannot be "Better than other people".

Yes you can be better skilled at some things, but it comes at a price. Whatever you gain in one area is balanced by weaknesses elsewhere. You can never overcome that. You will always be bad at some things and be the worst at others, even if you can legitimately claim to be better in a few areas.

Autistic people are different but we are not superior to others. We are equal in a way many don't recognise. The suggestion that others are inferior is not only unfair and inaccurate, but risks everything we have achieved so far in reaching equality. Modesty and humility are the greatest strengths one can have. Pride comes before a fall.
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I looked up the Hebrew word for destruction which is the actual term in Proverbs 16 :18 ,which the last few words of your quote comes from And interestingly !it is the Hebrew word for the Holocaust (Shoah)the slaughter of people.
 
Guess it wouldn't bother me if you had a goal of helping others. Like l want to be the best at this sport, maybe l can open a gym for kids from abused backgrounds. If l become the smartest in my chosen field, then l will be to contribute to the community and help with advances in said subject matter. Just to be the best but not having a productive outcome of giving back to society or helping out unwanted animals or whatever, then this sounds a tab immature. There is somebody more powerful then you, and you will be more powerful then someone else, it all evens out. Power to me is to be remembered years and years later like Dali, Jung, Freud, Mother Teresa.

Which reminds of a Hawaii story: A martial arts student got into a fight with another local guy at a famous take-out place. At some point, the martial arts student used his hand grip and did some type of neck position and killed the guy. This was over some stupid argument. And of course the martial art guy went to jail.
 
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It's possible to certainly shoot for high levels in particular things, and it's possible to have high skill in those things. I have a few skills/things I can do that most people cannot, or where I'm just at a super high level in those things. However, while this may impress some, those same people may find themselves far less impressed when they see me do something like not being able to find my keychain because it was in my other hand (and I'll do things like that frequently). And yes, that's an actual example. I'm not proud of it.

In other words... you cannot be perfect. Maybe you can be good at something, maybe you can even be the best there is at something. But there'll be other things you're quite bad at, or perhaps have literally zero ability in whatsoever.

What's that old phrase? "A jack-of-all-trades is a master of none"? I think that's how it goes.

And even if you do want to be good at something... you aint gonna accomplish that by simply wanting it. Wanna master a skill? Stop dreaming about it, and get out there and start learning and practicing!

Incidentally, I had to stop and stare into space twice while typing this. Impressive, no? Indeed, "no".
 
I think you’re just a product of society, really. We live in a celebrity-obsessed world. Fame, power, dominance, the desire to be unique and superior...these are common desires/aspirations, I’m afraid, especially among young people. What you’re describing, though, sounds especially unhealthy. If the motive behind everything you do is superiority and dominance, then you never really enjoy anything or even do anything because you actually want to do it.

I read a book a long time ago that may be of interest to you: Be Nobody by Lama Marut. It challenges our obsession with being “somebody.” Check it out.
 
Nobody else has mentioned gender conditioning so I ll pitch in with that, and say, I think guys are more conditioned to feel a sense of confidence than typically, women are, this can also include competitiveness, feeling it's important to be stronger and faster and brighter than the other guys.

Society still fosters this idea somewhat, I m not saying it's true, or believed by most people even, but it could be part of why you are feeling this.
 
Thinx said:
Nobody else has mentioned gender conditioning so I ll pitch in with that, and say, I think guys are more conditioned to feel a sense of confidence than typically, women are, this can also include competitiveness, feeling it's important to be stronger and faster and brighter than the other guys.

Society still fosters this idea somewhat, I m not saying it's true, or believed by most people even, but it could be part of why you are feeling this.
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Very true. So, ironically, Libecht’s mindset and behavior make him normal and typical, not unique.
 
Libecht said:
So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people.
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One out of three isn't bad.
Always Remember That You Are Absolutely Unique. Just Like Everyone Else...
Jim Wright​
Autistamatic said:
Yes you can be better skilled at some things, but it comes at a price. Whatever you gain in one area is balanced by weaknesses elsewhere. You can never overcome that...
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Because I'm Batman...! ;)
 
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