Libecht
Well-Known Member
So I noticed that I have become quite obsessed with being special, powerful, and better than other people. To be more precise, I enjoy being different from other "normal people". For example I love being an Aspie, because that means I'm not like the others. Sometimes I even want people to know what strange things I do and what weird thoughts I have. It actually annoys me, when I'm told "Yeah most people do that too" or "A lot of people are like you".
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).
I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?
Moreover, I crave power. Not wealth or political power (I actually despise them), but raw power like strength, speed, endurance, fighting techniques, or in my daydreams, superpower. It's actually what motivates to go to the gym and attend MMA training.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, that I also strive to be better or superior to others. I read, study, practice and train, so that I could excel in as many ways as possible (as least in the fields I care), be it vision, knowledge in medicine, drawing techniques, time management, or even wisdom (Kinda ironic, I know).
I do not understand why I have these desires. To my knowledge, these are psychological traits of someone with low self-esteem or low-achieving, but I already perform quite well in school and are considered special and talented by many people around me. I don't see this as something completely negative though, for it drives me to be better everyday as well. Please let me know what you think or even some psychoanalysis. Could it mean I'm still too immature and keep the ego of a teenager? Is it the result of some lack of affection or attention in childhood?
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