If you had a baby with someone you broke up with or had a fling with

[Misty Avich]

I'd like to adopt because I know I can't face going through pregnancy. I'm very squeamish and I have a phobia of vomiting. Although I whine about loud children, I feel differently when it's children and babies in my family who I love. I know I'll do great with a baby. Just one baby.
But the rules for adopting are unfair and diabolical. Apparently you have to be 100% mentally and physically stable (probably meaning no disabilities), you have to be rich, you have to be under 25, you have to own your own house, and all these other things that I don't have. But when you breed children none of these rules apply. Single parents with low paying jobs who are in council are usually financially supported and very secure, if the parents are not abusive or neglecting or dependant on drugs or alcohol. I don't drink or take drugs and I have an overwhelmingly caring nature. I treat my pets like they're my children. I actually put them first. And yes, I understand pets are easier than children but even so.

Also I heard you can't change the name of an adopted child. So I'll have to get used to having a little'n running around called Albert or some other name I dislike.

 

[kenaij]

Society would fix the waiting list if such was the case. That's what happens or should when something doesn't function properly. More kids would be adopted. But currently, this is not the case but it still stops people from doing a good to another.

Why don’t they now though? There are gay couples, couples that can’t get naturally pregnant because of various reasons and many other people on very long waiting list to adopt a child.

My reactions should also not been viewed as personal.

Certain solutions seem easy and obvious. But there are a ton of solutions that simply are not realistic.

And adoption simply is not the same. It is like wanting to eat fries but you get mashed potatoes. They are both potatoes but still are very much not the same.

 

[All-Rounder]

I'd like to adopt because I know I can't face going through pregnancy. I'm very squeamish and I have a phobia of vomiting. Although I whine about loud children, I feel differently when it's children and babies in my family who I love. I know I'll do great with a baby. Just one baby.
But the rules for adopting are unfair and diabolical. Apparently you have to be 100% mentally and physically stable (probably meaning no disabilities), you have to be rich, you have to be under 25, you have to own your own house, and all these other things that I don't have. But when you breed children none of these rules apply. Single parents with low paying jobs who are in council are usually financially supported and very secure, if the parents are not abusive or neglecting or dependant on drugs or alcohol. I don't drink or take drugs and I have an overwhelmingly caring nature. I treat my pets like they're my children. I actually put them first. And yes, I understand pets are easier than children but even so.

Also I heard you can't change the name of an adopted child. So I'll have to get used to having a little'n running around called Albert or some other name I dislike.

If you are single, you have to be at least 25 y o to adopt a child.

 

[All-Rounder]

Why don’t they now though? There are gay couples, couples that can’t get naturally pregnant because of various reasons and many other people on very long waiting list to adopt a child.

My reactions should also not been viewed as personal.

Certain solutions seem easy and obvious. But there are a ton of solutions that simply are not realistic.

And adoption simply is not the same. It is like wanting to eat fries but you get mashed potatoes. They are both potatoes but still are very much not the same.

The demand for newborns is very high because most people want a newborn. But it is also taxing with waking up and other things.

Otherwise waiting times are less.

Creating a baby can take time too, sometimes one of the partners might not be fertile or require treatment or multiple tries.

 

[All-Rounder]

That's true, it's not the same as actually being pregnant or touching the belly, some women really like pregnancy and they actually become surrogate mothers to be able to experience pregnancy again.

But I think it's less about temporary pleasures and more about responsibility and extended responsibility has a greater impact, all the while people can still experience some of the things that parenting brings. I suppose it takes some sacrifice but it's for a good cause.

 

[All-Rounder]

I'd like to adopt because I know I can't face going through pregnancy. I'm very squeamish and I have a phobia of vomiting. Although I whine about loud children, I feel differently when it's children and babies in my family who I love. I know I'll do great with a baby. Just one baby.
But the rules for adopting are unfair and diabolical. Apparently you have to be 100% mentally and physically stable (probably meaning no disabilities), you have to be rich, you have to be under 25, you have to own your own house, and all these other things that I don't have. But when you breed children none of these rules apply. Single parents with low paying jobs who are in council are usually financially supported and very secure, if the parents are not abusive or neglecting or dependant on drugs or alcohol. I don't drink or take drugs and I have an overwhelmingly caring nature. I treat my pets like they're my children. I actually put them first. And yes, I understand pets are easier than children but even so.

Also I heard you can't change the name of an adopted child. So I'll have to get used to having a little'n running around called Albert or some other name I dislike.

Pregnancy is very taxing, I don't blame you. I hope you will be able to adopt. Albert Einstein? Hehe, it is quite hilarious.

 

[Jonn]

Would you keep it and love it even if the father did not want it
I always would and I would love her to death and still try to be a good mother.
I would just be lucky enough to get the chance to be a mother.

I'm an antinatalist, so I would never get pregnant.

 

[tree]

For males, the question of whether they'd keep a child
they'd birthed is a hypothetical one, since it's females
who can become pregnant.

 

[Forest Cat]

I find people who just breed instead of adopting some child who cries daily and really needs parents quite selfish and I don't believe there is any real reason to breed instead, and any difference worth noting between a random mix of genetics nobody has chosen.

A big part of the natural force that drives us to have kids, is to make sure our genes survive. That's hardwired into us, that's just a natural thing. It's like that for pretty much all species as far as I know. And it is a very strong instinct.

 

[kenaij]

For males, the question of whether they'd keep a child
they'd birthed is a hypothetical one, since it's females
who can become pregnant.

I viewed my answer more as. If my wife got pregnant and brought another baby in this world. Would I want to take care of it or not. Because indeed I cannot give birth to a child. But the question of taking care of it or giving it away is the same for both males and females.
We as males have less rights when talking about keeping a baby (during pregnancy) but this also means we can get out of obligations easier compared to females. And with less rights I mean virtually no rights when it comes to deciding over the life of our potential child.
In my country a male has to fight for his parental right of the couple is not married if the female decides she does not want him around. This is luckily changing for the better from a male point of view in recent years.

Sorry for the rant. It does not specifically has to do with your post but it came into my mind when typing the first part of my reply.

 

[Ella Spell]

Yes, I feel gender shouldn't have to go further than what sex organs one has. IYouf a boy wants to play with dolls or paint his nails then that's fine. It doesn't necessarily mean he's going to be gay either.
When I was a little girl I often pretended to be a boy. I even stopped wearing skirts to school. Then I got obsessed with a female teacher, and I wore sports clothes and got interested in cars (not a special interest, just casual). I even related to the boys better at school. And people started assuming that I was gay and that my mum will no longer have a daughter. But that was wrong. I'm still a female. I just wasn't very good at conforming to female norms. And I'm not gay at all. I like men and have a husband. Although I can get obsessed with a woman, there's nothing sexual about it. It's just a heterosexual crush or admiration.

Your mother would no longer have a daughter if you were gay?
Can you explain what you mean?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Motherhood is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. My child is my treasure.

 

[kenaij]

Your mother would no longer have a daughter if you were gay?
Can you explain what you mean?

I feel she left out that outside them thinking she was gay some might have also assumed she might be trans. I don`t really get the statement as is either. So I think she left out a part.

 

[Ella Spell]

It didn't make any sense to me but it must have been something like that. I think the OP said they are LGBTQ as well so it would be good if Misty could explain what she meant.

 

[Misty Avich]

Your mother would no longer have a daughter if you were gay?
Can you explain what you mean?

I meant they thought I might have been trans.

 

[All-Rounder]

A big part of the natural force that drives us to have kids, is to make sure our genes survive. That's hardwired into us, that's just a natural thing. It's like that for pretty much all species as far as I know. And it is a very strong instinct.

I often realize that the natural beastly instincts are enhanced through evolution, in the human being. We have filled the internet with fetishes, we have tortured, used and killed masses, and we have become needlessly aggressive on a large scale.

We have become more beastly than the beast.

The Matrix quote is addressing the difference between other mammals, because we practically now cover the earth and we continue to spread out much like a virus instead of a typical mammal. We've stuck our genes over the surface of the Earth and overwhelmed it with our survival tools.

 

[Jonn]

For males, the question of whether they'd keep a child
they'd birthed is a hypothetical one, since it's females
who can become pregnant.

There are some who would disagree, seriously.

BTW, my comment was just a pure joke without any social commentary.

 

[Jonn]

A big part of the natural force that drives us to have kids, is to make sure our genes survive. That's hardwired into us, that's just a natural thing. It's like that for pretty much all species as far as I know. And it is a very strong instinct.

Humans have the ability to reason, but most have been brainwashed from childhood to mindlessly accept the breeding program.
Indoctrination + instincts = unthinking compliance.
Humanity is seriously amusing.

 

[Jonn]

Motherhood is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. My child is my treasure.

Most ppl would share your sentiment.

BTW, I don't share my opinion to try and change someone's views.
I don't share them to offend anyone.
I share what I think to legitimise a valid different opinion.

My philosophy:
"To each their own..."
"Different strokes for different folks..."
"One man's meat is another man's poison..."

 

[Ella Spell]

If you got someone pregnant, what would you do? ^