Does anyone else feel like they are constantly putting on an act?

[Nitro]

It's all very confusing, especially when you start throwing labels into the mix. I think what I would underline that a diagnosis of an ASD is a neurological one - not a psychological one. It's also worth pointing out that people are rarely 'labelled' as NT, but people with an ASD are often diagnosed incorrectly with other co-morbidities while their ASD is missed. And now I have opened that can of worms, I shall retire...

While I agree that an ASD is neurologically based,the diagnostics involve neuropsychs to attach the label,so once again,it comes down to a guessing game

 

[Chris Russell]

While I agree that an ASD is neurologically based,the diagnostics involve neuropsychs to attach the label,so one again,it comes down to a guessing game

You're right, Nitro - It does come down to a guessing game, far too often, which is why it's important that people that people like us continue to wave the issue in the faces of those who are in the privileged position of making these diagnoses. I try to help out where I can: Professionals in psychotherapy do check these forums out, and use them to guide their research - I'm also doing my bit by working with local universities, doing surveys etc to improve understanding of ASDs. I also work with a local psychotherapist who trains others in the UK who work with ASD clients - it all helps...

 

[Nitro]

You're right, Nitro - It does come down to a guessing game, far too often, which is why it's important that people that people like us continue to wave the issue in the faces of those who are in the privileged position of making these diagnoses. I try to help out where I can: Professionals in psychotherapy do check these forums out, and use them to guide their research - I'm also doing my bit by working with local universities, doing surveys etc to improve understanding of ASDs. I also work with a local psychotherapist who trains others in the UK who work with ASD clients - it all helps...

Great to hear,keep up the good fight! I do a bit of advocacy work for the brain injured community.
Busting my brain put me front and center to a slew of psych specialists who also missed that I was autie on top of being damaged goods. I think that was a result of not looking past the end of their noses and focusing on what they thought was important.

I used to run my own motor vehicle repair business where we specialized in the electronic engine control systems. I got a Ford product in that was brought to me with a no start condition that was determined to be a lack of ignition or spark.
I started off my diagnostics on the positive side of the circuit. When I had finished,it was determined that a small ground lead had failed at the battery that shut the truck down. I neglected to stay with the mantra of KISS and it bit me on the ass
A simple case of looking in the wrong direction much like the psychs that worked with me

 

[Chris Russell]

Heh, heh. Easy done. I have to admit, when I got my diagnosis I was angry with everybody for a while. 40 bloody years - and I was 'text-book'! There wasn't a psychotherapist, psychologist, GP, psychiatrist, social worker or whatever I couldn't find fault with... The odd thing is, since I've been working with them, as opposed to being their patient/client, I have been surprised at how most of them seem so genuinely to want to help. I realise now, communication is all important. Keep talking - no matter what. Listening is good, too! (Damn - have to keep reminding myself of that one!)

(Love your tag, by the way - Immoral turpitude - speaks to my sense of humour! (Talentless Liar)

 

[ADCguy]

Always, ive been acting for so long ive forgotten who i am but theres no way for me to be me in this nt world

 

[Alcyon]

Often the more formal and technical the interaction is, the less anxious I am...

...is this lack of differentiation something you have noticed?

In order...I am slowly starting to understand how I was able to unwittingly make my way for twenty-five years in a job that seems, in retrospect, perfectly suited to break someone on the spectrum. Ending up as a foreman on the railway, I was constantly over-stimulated and over-whelmed, there was little that was predictable, there was next to no time to reflect and plan action...one could go on. It was the perfectly wrong job for me.

The work required re-marshaling freight cars, and usually lots of them, every day in the quickest way possible. Once I understood that all I was doing was working on puzzles all day, I "got" the job. Unknowingly, that's how I was, on the whole, dealing with the people too. In other words, I wasn't really dealing with people, and their varying moods, requirements, expectations, and so forth; I was dealing with pieces of a puzzle. I actually became very good at it.

My not considering things like race or sex in my daily life didn't come from moral strength, it was an issue of relevance and practicality.

To refer back to Irene Helrose 's original post, I often found playing that role at work quite freeing, though it took quite awhile to get there. I came to understand how to act, to speak, to carry myself. Each shift started with changing from my civvy togs to work wear; as the clothes changed, so did my mindset...interesting to reflect upon.

Until it all came to an end.

I was like Wile E.Coyote running running through the air, oblivious to the reality. The diagnosis was the Roadrunner pointing out that I wasn't on solid ground...

 

[Chris Russell]

Always, ive been acting for so long ive forgotten who i am but theres no way for me to be me in this nt world

Yes. Yes there is.

My not considering things like race or sex in my daily life didn't come from moral strength, it was an issue of relevance and practicality.

To refer back to Irene Helrose 's original post, I often found playing that role at work quite freeing, though it took quite awhile to get there. I came to understand how to act, to speak, to carry myself. Each shift started with changing from my civvy togs to work wear; as the clothes changed, so did my mindset...interesting to reflect upon.

Until it all came to an end.

I was like Wile E.Coyote running running through the air, oblivious to the reality. The diagnosis was the Roadrunner pointing out that I wasn't on solid ground...


Yes Alcyon - Many of us Aspies take work very seriously (in the absence of any real social life, although that's not true for all...) and we can learn a role very thoroughly. Many of us will become expert in our roles, given the chance.

The Roadrunner analogy is a familiar one. I take a while to adjust to new situations, and sometimes I don't quite make it time. But I always get back up. When you have to work so hard just to get by every day, eventually you realise you have acquired enormous motivation and stamina. We are tenacious and focused - so in the right place and with the right support we can really excel.

 

[FreeDiver]

It's all very confusing, especially when you start throwing labels into the mix. I think what I would underline is that a diagnosis of an ASD is a neurological one - not a psychological one. It's also worth pointing out that people are rarely 'labelled' as NT, but people with an ASD are often diagnosed incorrectly with other co-morbidities while their ASD is missed. And now I have opened that can of worms, I shall retire...

I would have to agree on this one. Especially when you take into account that we also have sensory processing issues as well. I've always felt that my perception of reality is somehow being distorted. And this distortion is more to do with people than it does about the environment. The fact is, I don't see or interpret the world the way NT's do.

 

[Nitro]

I would have to agree on this one. Especially when you take into account that we also have sensory processing issues as well. I've always felt that my perception of reality is somehow being distorted. And this distortion is more to do with people than it does about the environment. The fact is, I don't see or interpret the world the way NT's do.

Now I have a question for you. How do you know how a NT sees or interprets the world?

 

[Alcyon]

Now I have a question for you. How do you know how a NT sees or interprets the world?

Bam! And he drops the mike and walks away...

Exactly. I often wonder how different things would be if I was NT for a month.

Mind you, I spend a lot more time wondering, as I walk my friend's dog, just what it would be like to have a retriever's ability to pick up scent. I bet my brain would explode from the sensory overload!

 

[CoCo3000]

Most of my life I've played numerous parts, but only when I have to such as at work or when I was in college. Basically, when acting more normal will get me the job, promotion, etc. I will act and talk differently to each person based on how they act and talk. But, like others have said, it is EXHAUSTING! At 51, I don't have the energy to keep it up, but it is hurting my job search. I don't really try to act "normal" since I fail at that when I've tried, but I do try to conform enough to make work easier. I like being different, or rather I like being myself. I just don't understand why other people care if I'm different

 

[CoCo3000]

Bam! And he drops the mike and walks away...

Exactly. I often wonder how different things would be if I was NT for a month.

Mind you, I spend a lot more time wondering, as I walk my friend's dog, just what it would be like to have a retriever's ability to pick up scent. I bet my brain would explode from the sensory overload!

 

[CoCo3000]

Actually, they have been doing research with TMS therapy on Aspies. It is magnetic waves that stimulate a particular region of the brain and in some Aspies, they are able to "see" the world like a NT, but it only lasts for 30-45 minutes. There's an interesting podcast that tells the story of a woman who participated in the research. I believe anyone with Asperger's will find it fascinating. I really identified with it and would love to find a study like it to participate in. Here's the link:

 

[FreeDiver]

Now I have a question for you. How do you know how a NT sees or interprets the world?

By observing how NT's react to their envoronment vs. how we react to it. I can't see what, or exactly how they see the world. Only that I can tell that they don't see it the same way we do.

 

[savi83]

I constantly feel like I'm putting on an act.

I am OK in social situations with family, but if I'm with people that I don't know that well I become anxious and think that I'm going to be found out. When this happens I don't know how to react and start closing down and distancing myself from people.

 

[Nitro]

By observing how NT's react to their envoronment vs. how we react to it. I can't see what, or exactly how they see the world. Only that I can tell that they don't see it the same way we do.

I see,your interpretation of how they view their surroundings.
Pretty much the same as a NT guessing what your world is all about,with guessing as the key word

 

[Maria6681]

I feel that no one really understands or knows me, like I am constantly playing a part. Does any one else feel this way? I recently started my first job; this feeling is really starting to hit home with me.

~Irene

Yes I feel like that. But sometimes I feel like I do understand myself or even know who I am

Someone said to my that I could at least to act to be like some else they I might be able to be a funny person to be around. I can not act to save my life.

 

[John Smith II]

I'm an NT. I feel this way a lot, too. I think most of us do, but we find it easier to tolerate the fact that "that's just the way it is" in our culture. Maybe other cultures don't "act" as much.

 

[Nitro]

I'm an NT. I feel this way a lot, too. I think most of us do, but we find it easier to tolerate the fact that "that's just the way it is" in our culture. Maybe other cultures don't "act" as much.

I couldn't agree with you more

 

[Jimbo]

I was around 44 when I figured out I was an aspie. I had always noticed that other people seem so real. They are who they appear to be. But I didn't really know who the real me was. How should I act? How do other people know what to say to each other? How can the same people see each other every day and always have something to say?

I can say that yes, it was like I was putting on an act. I would try and take on the persona of whoever I was with. Now at age 47 I have finally come to like myself, aspie and all and have reached the point where I'm not afraid to let people see the real me. I have finally realized that the real me is a very likable, funny, nice, gentle person.