Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral
I'll buy that. Although no post in the world ever includes all the details. All a post can really tell me is "what does the poster want me to know about them?" The post doesn't really tell me about the problem. So, in counseling, we are told not to fix the problem--the person already has the solution or the capability to solve it, and the responsibility for it. They can't do what they can't think of, so "telling" them doesn't help. Telling ain't training. Raising the best questions we can and then sitting with the discomfort is where we help, by making it easier to think slow. "Alone in the head, slow" often just doesn't work, even if you're not struggling with impulse control.
So if my conclusion about a new poster is <insert scathing remark here>, people like me just need to shut up and leave. But we have to notice the feeling and the thought to do that, which is part of what I'm struggling with now. Hence my enthusiasm for Slithytoves's observation. I can't put my problems away in the blink of an eye when I'm ambushed, even when theoretically I agree I should and in fact do want and welcome counseling opportunities. I can't flip to counselor on command, or stimulus, or whatever, I have to be ready to pick up the responsibility and the mindset that goes with it first.
I'm a scrum master, temporarily working as a business analyst. PM me if those syllables don't make sense. Really appreciate your points. It's taken me quite a long time to think through your points. One of them was so compelling I'm not done with it yet.
I miss Adam. He taught me a lot. He made this place feel like home.
Good points about likely NT attitudes when visiting here.
NT loved ones likely don't realise that they, too, have special needs when involved with one of us. I think it behooves us to make that clearer. We, ourselves can't give them all they need, as we can't fully grasp it. Other NTs in similar situations, however, can empathise properly. But how are they to find each other?
You've made excellent points in all of your posts on this thread. I'd like to comment more to you, for that, but honestly, you said everything so well that there's little left to add. Brilliant.
I'm sorry this happened. I've really enjoyed his posts when I found them. One of them in particular was really helpful since I happened to read it at a good moment.
I miss Adam. He taught me a lot. He made this place feel like home.
I'm late enough to the conversation that all the best reasons have been offered, but I'd like to say a dedicated sub-forum for NTs is a brilliant idea. I could have used it when I first came here. It was awkward feeling like I was just about the only NT present. I have mixed feelings about the idea of specially marking us, though having a hub to attract us together would be a lovely way for us to at least identify each other, and to help you identify us.
If it helps, one thing that kept me coming back, at first, was the kind attention of some regular members. When I saw a person with a high number of posts answering my messages, it was a signal that I was truly welcome. Another aid to my comfort here was the gentle approach many members took to my questions. We NTs aren't accustomed to being the minority and don't always know how to take unfettered Aspie honesty. Even if we have a straight-talking Aspie in our lives, we may still not know what it means when we see it here. I'm not suggesting you overindulge us. Perhaps a small disclaimer that you mean no harm when you make a strong point would be enough.
A question, though: In honesty, do you really want NTs to stay en masse? Nobody has raised this point, as I'm sure you are reluctant to appear anti-NT, but to what extent do you feel comfortable with the idea of having a sizeable population of us in one of the few places where you can be yourselves?
One needs a LOT of patience around you guys ...... & you probably feel the same way.
A question, though: In honesty, do you really want NTs to stay en masse? Nobody has raised this point, as I'm sure you are reluctant to appear anti-NT, but to what extent do you feel comfortable with the idea of having a sizeable population of us in one of the few places where you can be yourselves?
I have mixed feelings about the idea of specially marking us, though having a hub to attract us together would be a lovely way for us to at least identify each other, and to help you identify us.
If it helps, one thing that kept me coming back, at first, was the kind attention of some regular members. When I saw a person with a high number of posts answering my messages, it was a signal that I was truly welcome.
Another aid to my comfort here was the gentle approach many members took to my questions. We NTs aren't accustomed to being the minority and don't always know how to take unfettered Aspie honesty. Even if we have a straight-talking Aspie in our lives, we may still not know what it means when we see it here. I'm not suggesting you overindulge us. Perhaps a small disclaimer that you mean no harm when you make a strong point would be enough.
A question, though: In honesty, do you really want NTs to stay en masse? Nobody has raised this point, as I'm sure you are reluctant to appear anti-NT, but to what extent do you feel comfortable with the idea of having a sizeable population of us in one of the few places where you can be yourselves?
Thanks, Aspergirl. I've been around reading here and there, and I've found help in some of your words, as well.
I'm happy I said something useful. More often than not I'm a bag of wind.
ADAM!! *glomp* Welcome back!I'm late enough to the conversation that all the best reasons have been offered, but I'd like to say a dedicated sub-forum for NTs is a brilliant idea. I could have used it when I first came here. It was awkward feeling like I was just about the only NT present. I have mixed feelings about the idea of specially marking us, though having a hub to attract us together would be a lovely way for us to at least identify each other, and to help you identify us.
If it helps, one thing that kept me coming back, at first, was the kind attention of some regular members. When I saw a person with a high number of posts answering my messages, it was a signal that I was truly welcome. Another aid to my comfort here was the gentle approach many members took to my questions. We NTs aren't accustomed to being the minority and don't always know how to take unfettered Aspie honesty. Even if we have a straight-talking Aspie in our lives, we may still not know what it means when we see it here. I'm not suggesting you overindulge us. Perhaps a small disclaimer that you mean no harm when you make a strong point would be enough.
A question, though: In honesty, do you really want NTs to stay en masse? Nobody has raised this point, as I'm sure you are reluctant to appear anti-NT, but to what extent do you feel comfortable with the idea of having a sizeable population of us in one of the few places where you can be yourselves?
Thanks, Aspergirl. I've been around reading here and there, and I've found help in some of your words, as well.
I'm happy I said something useful. More often than not I'm a bag of wind.
You're such a warm heart, Warmheart. Being missed by you is an honour.