So I came across this article a couple days while ago about autistic children wandering off and how it's apparently a huge problem, and it got me wondering about my own wandering behaviours.
I guess I got my first taste for it when I was 7 and I'd have to take the bus into the city every Wednesday to go to that wretched music school. I really hated it and after a while I'd skip classes, especially the second year, and just wander around town, visit the library or some toy store, or go to one of my hiding spots to read, until class had ended and I could go back home without causing suspicion.
When I was 9 or 10 I began sneaking out at night, out of my bedroom window, through the hedge and over the fence, just to have a walk really. Sometimes I'd get stopped by the cops and they'd drive me back home (I quickly learned to alter my routes to avoid theirs, as I perceived it as a real nuissance and an invasion of my liberty). In hindsight I have to say they were kind of cool about it though as they'd just wait in the car until I got inside the house and then drove away. I find it hard to believe now, but as far as I know the cops never alerted my parents about it as those never brought it up or had a chat about it with me. Maybe they had acquiesced already, or they figured I was responsible enough. (Unless it was almost time to eat, or friends came over to play and I/we had to stay within the street or a certain parameter, I was pretty much free to go wherever I wanted.)
I had gotten lost quite a few times during shopping trips, rushing in between the clothes or just losing sight and had learned early on to go to the check-out and ask to P.A. my parents. I never really ran into problems. No tumbling into the canal, no being preyed upon by child molesters and when I got lost, there were maps at busstops and such to find my way back (no phones back in those days). Was I just lucky?
Now, I'm not a parent and I do realize that losing track of your littl'one must induce anxiety beyond belief, but when I click on through to read some of the 'solutions' I shudder. There's talk of putting deadbolts on the doors, alarms on the windows, gps trackers. All things which, if my parents did that, would've caused me to gain a sudden interest in prison break movies and tunnel my way out, or just run away at the first opportunity. Seriously. It would've turned it into a much bigger problem than it was. I needed my walks alone.
I also realize that some of my upbringing wasn't really 'guided freedom' but 'borderline neglect', but I had a friend who'd go along sometimes, who was given a decent ammount of freedom and guidance to develop in that way. I'd say it thought us responsability, time keeping, navigation and a way to be curious about the world. When I compare it to some of my other friends who were under tight control and supervision, well… some of them are either still living at home, or at least highly dependent on their parents. As with everything, there's a balance to be found and to me, if a kid shows these types of wandering behaviours, it's probably because he/she has a need for it. Just shutting it down to spare parental anxiety seems like a surefire way to cause more problems later on.
Times have changed of course. My nieces and nephew hardly get any freedom at all (they aren't autistic), up to the point where it becomes difficult for me to be around there, because I can't help but empathize and subsequently become rather depressed about the whole matter.
Anyway, anyone else who used to do this. Is it really such a huge concern as it's made out to be, or is there a lot of needless panicking going on?
I guess I got my first taste for it when I was 7 and I'd have to take the bus into the city every Wednesday to go to that wretched music school. I really hated it and after a while I'd skip classes, especially the second year, and just wander around town, visit the library or some toy store, or go to one of my hiding spots to read, until class had ended and I could go back home without causing suspicion.
When I was 9 or 10 I began sneaking out at night, out of my bedroom window, through the hedge and over the fence, just to have a walk really. Sometimes I'd get stopped by the cops and they'd drive me back home (I quickly learned to alter my routes to avoid theirs, as I perceived it as a real nuissance and an invasion of my liberty). In hindsight I have to say they were kind of cool about it though as they'd just wait in the car until I got inside the house and then drove away. I find it hard to believe now, but as far as I know the cops never alerted my parents about it as those never brought it up or had a chat about it with me. Maybe they had acquiesced already, or they figured I was responsible enough. (Unless it was almost time to eat, or friends came over to play and I/we had to stay within the street or a certain parameter, I was pretty much free to go wherever I wanted.)
I had gotten lost quite a few times during shopping trips, rushing in between the clothes or just losing sight and had learned early on to go to the check-out and ask to P.A. my parents. I never really ran into problems. No tumbling into the canal, no being preyed upon by child molesters and when I got lost, there were maps at busstops and such to find my way back (no phones back in those days). Was I just lucky?
Now, I'm not a parent and I do realize that losing track of your littl'one must induce anxiety beyond belief, but when I click on through to read some of the 'solutions' I shudder. There's talk of putting deadbolts on the doors, alarms on the windows, gps trackers. All things which, if my parents did that, would've caused me to gain a sudden interest in prison break movies and tunnel my way out, or just run away at the first opportunity. Seriously. It would've turned it into a much bigger problem than it was. I needed my walks alone.
I also realize that some of my upbringing wasn't really 'guided freedom' but 'borderline neglect', but I had a friend who'd go along sometimes, who was given a decent ammount of freedom and guidance to develop in that way. I'd say it thought us responsability, time keeping, navigation and a way to be curious about the world. When I compare it to some of my other friends who were under tight control and supervision, well… some of them are either still living at home, or at least highly dependent on their parents. As with everything, there's a balance to be found and to me, if a kid shows these types of wandering behaviours, it's probably because he/she has a need for it. Just shutting it down to spare parental anxiety seems like a surefire way to cause more problems later on.
Times have changed of course. My nieces and nephew hardly get any freedom at all (they aren't autistic), up to the point where it becomes difficult for me to be around there, because I can't help but empathize and subsequently become rather depressed about the whole matter.
Anyway, anyone else who used to do this. Is it really such a huge concern as it's made out to be, or is there a lot of needless panicking going on?