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Wondering about wandering

gonzerd

Stranger
V.I.P Member
So I came across this article a couple days while ago about autistic children wandering off and how it's apparently a huge problem, and it got me wondering about my own wandering behaviours.

I guess I got my first taste for it when I was 7 and I'd have to take the bus into the city every Wednesday to go to that wretched music school. I really hated it and after a while I'd skip classes, especially the second year, and just wander around town, visit the library or some toy store, or go to one of my hiding spots to read, until class had ended and I could go back home without causing suspicion.

When I was 9 or 10 I began sneaking out at night, out of my bedroom window, through the hedge and over the fence, just to have a walk really. Sometimes I'd get stopped by the cops and they'd drive me back home (I quickly learned to alter my routes to avoid theirs, as I perceived it as a real nuissance and an invasion of my liberty). In hindsight I have to say they were kind of cool about it though as they'd just wait in the car until I got inside the house and then drove away. I find it hard to believe now, but as far as I know the cops never alerted my parents about it as those never brought it up or had a chat about it with me. Maybe they had acquiesced already, or they figured I was responsible enough. (Unless it was almost time to eat, or friends came over to play and I/we had to stay within the street or a certain parameter, I was pretty much free to go wherever I wanted.)

I had gotten lost quite a few times during shopping trips, rushing in between the clothes or just losing sight and had learned early on to go to the check-out and ask to P.A. my parents. I never really ran into problems. No tumbling into the canal, no being preyed upon by child molesters and when I got lost, there were maps at busstops and such to find my way back (no phones back in those days). Was I just lucky?

Now, I'm not a parent and I do realize that losing track of your littl'one must induce anxiety beyond belief, but when I click on through to read some of the 'solutions' I shudder. There's talk of putting deadbolts on the doors, alarms on the windows, gps trackers. All things which, if my parents did that, would've caused me to gain a sudden interest in prison break movies and tunnel my way out, or just run away at the first opportunity. Seriously. It would've turned it into a much bigger problem than it was. I needed my walks alone.

I also realize that some of my upbringing wasn't really 'guided freedom' but 'borderline neglect', but I had a friend who'd go along sometimes, who was given a decent ammount of freedom and guidance to develop in that way. I'd say it thought us responsability, time keeping, navigation and a way to be curious about the world. When I compare it to some of my other friends who were under tight control and supervision, well… some of them are either still living at home, or at least highly dependent on their parents. As with everything, there's a balance to be found and to me, if a kid shows these types of wandering behaviours, it's probably because he/she has a need for it. Just shutting it down to spare parental anxiety seems like a surefire way to cause more problems later on.

Times have changed of course. My nieces and nephew hardly get any freedom at all (they aren't autistic), up to the point where it becomes difficult for me to be around there, because I can't help but empathize and subsequently become rather depressed about the whole matter.

Anyway, anyone else who used to do this. Is it really such a huge concern as it's made out to be, or is there a lot of needless panicking going on?
 
Very interesting article. Thinking back, it does make sense. I was and still am a wanderer. When time is available, I still enjoy a ride in the country or mountains. Back in my dirt bike days, I could not resist a unknown trail. I had to see where it went.

As far as my own kids are concerned, when they were young (under 12 or so) I always knew where they were. I never thought about it before, but maybe it was because of my own wandering ways. It was easier for us because my wife was a stay at home mom and I believe this helped the kids a lot. Our kids all have kids of their own now and they are pretty much the same way. Our youngest son and youngest granddaughter are Aspies.

I really like that web site that the article was in. I bookmarked it and subscribed to their news letter. There was another article about the recent Oregon shootings and the medias reporting of it. As they did in some other shootings, they reported that the shooter was autistic. They did not come right out and say that was the cause, but why even report it? There are people who read that and think that autistic people are not responsible people. Clearly guns are getting into the hands of the wrong people. There are a lot of reasons why a person should not have a gun, but just being autistic is not one of them.

OK, I will stop hijacking your thread now and get down off of my soap box. Sorry about that.
 
It is a concern, but sometimes I think that people dwell too much on it. It depends on the functioning level of the individual. If it is an Aspie, I don't think you should be as worried than if it was a severely autistic person. There are still a lot of dangers to wandering off, but I do it all the time and nothing has really happened to me yet. I think it is something to keep in mind, but not to go to extreme lengths to stop it. Wandering just comes with autism. That is just how it is.
 
I also realize that some of my upbringing wasn't really 'guided freedom' but 'borderline neglect',
My father was very similar...in fact it was the 'thing' I first used to suggest to him he might be on the spectrum. I'd heard his repeated story of how he would "run away from home" at only 2 years old, or even before then, and finally I thought 'Maybe this isn't just him misremembering things, maybe he actually does have an uncanny memory and wandered like many autistic children.' But certainly there was a strong element of parental neglect, also.
 
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I do walking-without-knowing. I happens when I am in a brain-fog (shutdown) due to overwhelm. Because I am one of those autistics who is very soothed by motion, elopement (spaced-out walking), aka wandering, happens.

Ending up in water last year a few times (river, deep puddle) means danger. Twice hit by car (once as a child, once in my 20s), once fell from a second story warehouse platform. Walking all fogged out is not safe.

I am not aware that I am wandering when I am wandering. I am very spaced-out at the time, and soothing myself by motion. Yes, I end up home, eventually. But traffic exists, edges exist, bodies of water exist.
 
I love just wandering around quite a lot as well, maybe one of the many reasons why I love riding motorcycle but ah well.

Didn't really do it as a kid, I was and still am a bit of a wuss, I was way too scared to get hurt or lost so I tended to keep to the safety of home unless there was somebody else I could go along with and ramble nonsense to.
 
I used to do this a lot in my youth, but luckily I had enough sense to stay sharp and vigilant. Had a few close calls here and there, but otherwise it was all good! Seems like whenever we (those of use on the spectrum) fail to fully grasp something the problem is always two-fold at the very least, but it's not just a issue for us either - I can't even begin to count the number of times I've seen packs of children hanging about and putting themselves at risk for trouble or even worse. Countermeasures won't fix the problem either - it's a well known fact that if we want it, we'll go above and beyond to get it.

Fast forward to today, I don't get out much unless I have a good reason to do so. I drive now mostly, so any "wandering" that I do is my own mistake due to getting lost or just for the hell of it I guess.
 

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