When nts make you feel like an alien

[Tom]

How do you describe: surreal to someone who has no idea what it means? I tried to and it resulted in me being looked at as though I am some species from another planet!

What they are thinking of you, at that moment, is a servicable example of 'surreal'.

 

[King_Oni]

Does anyone else try to suppress complex words while talking because you know people wouldn't understand them?
Yep. Trying to fit into slang since 1996.

If anything I find it hard to gauge which words people know and which people don't. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just speaking a totally different language alltogether. Some words just don't have a "simplified" version lest you start giving a dictionairy definition, at which people will be equally lost because you're becoming "too wordy". At the same time, resorting to "caveman speak" might be insulting as well, lol.

And don't get me started on contemporary language, lol. At my age it seems to be odd that my vocabulary comprises more slang than people half my age... if I take in consideration the minimal amount of interaction I have with people, let alone people who use this kind of language, it's puzzling. Suppose I'll call it a healthy interest in language.

 

[epath13]

I feel like an alien, period nobody makes me feel it, it's all me especially now, I'm not sure if it's the day, time of the year, meds, or the delicious spinach shake I've just drunk affect me this way... I might have said it before... I might have used different words... but I see people as colorful balls floating in the air (I think before I associated feelings and ideas with balls ). They are all different, some look a little bit similar but still different, and some are completely out of ordinary. Similar balls bounce off each other, some become all happy and sparkly because they found somebody similar to them. I also see balls similar to mine but all I do is acknowledge they they seem to be "from the same planet", but I don't feel the need to communicate with them that much... most of the time I see the space between balls, sometimes I see the giant puzzle picture we call humanity, but I rarely see any puzzle pictures in between. And even if I do, I don't see myself being a part of any of it... it got me thinking, what if my picture lies on top of all the others. Sort of like a picture within many other pictures put together...
I'm sorry if it's hard to understand what I'm trying to say... maybe (if you have difficulties) you can imagine it, maybe then you can connect to my train of thoughts

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

What they are thinking of you, at that moment, is a servicable example of 'surreal'.

Almost exactly quotes one of the essays in Loud Hands: autistic people, speaking.

While I agree to some extent with Eleanor Roosevelt ("No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"), aspies get treated badly not because they're aspie, but because the behaviors that arise from the neurodiverse mind look strange, and "strange" means "bad" to a social animal. Strange can't be decoded, and anything that's not decodable will get assessed as either a thing, or a threat. I think both outcomes dehumanize.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

No, I'm disinclined to use sesquipedalian words due to trepidation of being labeled ostentatious.

Huh?

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Phrases like "that there thing" have saved me so many times.

I love that kind of talk! You'd be surprised at how many people figure out what I'm talking about.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

But… why would not knowing a word make someone feel stupid?

I can't tell you how dumb I feel when I read some of your guys' posts. NT people judge each other by what words they use - the harder words mean you're more educated. I also judge people on how many and what kinds of spelling errors they have. When I encounter a big word I start thinking "Crap. Should I know this word? The person used it so nonchalant that it must be an everyday word but hell if I know what it means, but I can't let them know that I don't know what they're talking about so I'll just nod and agree and call it a thingie."

 

[King_Oni]

I can't tell you how dumb I feel when I read some of your guys' posts. NT people judge each other by what words they use - the harder words mean you're more educated.

To me that's hilarious. I guess people would feel mighty inferior given that I have no proper education aside from "some" highschool.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

To me that's hilarious. I guess people would feel mighty inferior given that I have no proper education aside from "some" highschool.

I'm telling you I don't know how you all use those kinds of words. I listen to a lot of talk radio and such and I can most of the time understand what the person is saying - mostly politics. Aspies use big words a lot - it's like a part of your brain just spits them out and it's a normal conversation, but I'm like huh?

 

[Ylva]

Aspies use big words a lot - it's like a part of your brain just spits them out and it's a normal conversation

I guess? With a combination of a long memory, a love of accuracy, and no automatic inner censor, it would end up like that.

 

[Judge]

I don't know how you guy's come up with all those big words. Is it from reading books or do they just come to you?

Too much exposure to the flux capacitor as a kid I suppose....bad insulation.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Too much exposure to the flux capacitor as a kid I suppose....bad insulation.

Flux capacitor? I'm too tired to look that up right now Judge, so I'm just going to agree with you.

 

[Sully]

I love discussing words, but I'm afraid we've hijacked Suzanne's thread.

As far as the original post here, Suzanne, I'm curious about how you experience "surreal mode". Does it happen involuntarily? Does it bother you to feel that way? For me I enjoy it. It's like stepping out of reality and just becoming an observer for a while instead of a participant. Until an intruder talks to me and I'm like "hey, how did you get into my head?"

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I love discussing words, but I'm afraid we've hijacked Suzanne's thread.

As far as the original post here, Suzanne, I'm curious about how you experience "surreal mode". Does it happen involuntarily? Does it bother you to feel that way? For me I enjoy it. It's like stepping out of reality and just becoming an observer for a while instead of a participant. Until an intruder talks to me and I'm like "hey, how did you get into my head?"

Oops. You're probably right. Back to talking about NT's.

 

[Judge]

It's like stepping out of reality and just becoming an observer for a while instead of a participant.

Happens to me on occasion when I feel like I have nothing to contribute to a conversation between a number of people all talking at once. Then I become mentally preoccupied with trying to get back in the game and often in the process lose an understanding of what is being said in real time. Gets me in trouble if someone suddenly asks me about the conversation.

 

[Ylva]

Surrealness usually lands me squarely inside my own body. Or, at least like I am still in my head, but panicking there.

 

[KinksFan]

OMG when I am trying to explain things to people I go way into too much detail and fumble around on my words and unable to convey my point. I also have a very difficult time trying to understand what they are saying. My wife sometimes looks at me in such frustration at why I keep asking questions trying to figure out what she is saying. This also happens with other NT's.

My mum's the same way with me, and it drives me bananas.

 

[Suzanne]

I seem to think big words, but my spelling leaves a lot to be desired and have learned to adapt to who I chat with, because I do not think it is nice to speak to people who do not understand properly.

Lol my husband often says: whoa never even heard that one, but in a way that says I have made a mistake and so I end up proving it by the dictionary.

Amongst nts I tend to come across as having a wide vocabulary, but amongst aspies, who dear, I do not come close lol

I am also an avid book reader.

 

[Suzanne]

Surréalisme comes to us from French so maybe she didn't understand it in English because she would expect it to be said the way she is used to.
I feel the same way as you, but I never try to explain it to anyone. I can't imagine someone actually understanding.

I guess that is my downfall, always the need to explain! When she looked puzzled I did try for a translation, but she has a better one on her tablet and it did not come out as the one you suggest. I am guessing that when I tried to explain it is a sense of looking down at yourself, she was whoa too weird for me, sort of thing!

 

[Suzanne]

Does anyone else try to suppress complex words while talking because you know people wouldn't understand them?
Yep. Trying to fit into slang since 1996.

In my faith, we tend to all speak the same language and my faith always uses words that get one looking in their dictionary lol I am pretty used to not using complex words, because my own sibling is very basic in her English and so, I try to adapt my vocab for her; fail though at times, but she learns then lol

Hate slang words generally and am known for speaking well!