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What's your excuse?

Jiminy is secretive about
his OCD activities.

Why didn't you invite Casper the Friendly Ghost
in last week when he knocked on your door?
 
As people age, their hearing generally gets worse.

Why am I not hungry at supper time?
 
Because they're difficult to pronounce and easily confused with etymologists.

Why haven't you become an epidemiologist?
 
Because she mixed up call waiting with call forwarding.

Where have I been?
 
It was eaten by a mongoose. Episode stories are particularly nutritious, so you made a hungry mongoose very happy.

Why haven't you been learning to play the marimba?
 
Because I prefer to work the marimba.

Why are you asking for my Air Miles?
 
Because I've not had a nice holiday in years, and the Maldives seem very appealing.

Why are you laughing at my attempt to do ballet?
 
Because your cat likes you.

Why is the casino closed for most of next weekend?
 
I pretend to work there to get free food,
plus all the money that the drunk people drop
on the floor.

When do you want to come over & help me tame the
6 headed grub that hatched from the meteorite
yesterday?
 
Because after you fall asleep, your evil alter-ego comes out provoking terror and destruction.

Why haven't I found this thread before?
 
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