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What's your excuse?

Because the other seats were actually Whoopie cushions.

Why is the new donut shop taking so long to open?
 
There always has to be a last time.

Why is Main Street blocked off?
 
Because bones was on TV and you had to solve the crime.
Why were all the adults doing handstands?
 
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You got tricked by the decoys again.

Why can't Greyhound run a day bus north?
 
If they did it would fall off at the ends of the earth, Greyhound corporate policy states that the earth is flat.

Why was Dogpatch so full of strange characters?
 
Because non-strange characters make for poor comedy.

Why is my right hand in mild pain?
 
Because you're about to get the worst case of the shingles you've ever had!
Why did the Easter bunny leave coal?
 
Where they were left last easter, sadly shorn of eggs and littered with tinfoil casings in the darkest corner of the closet.

When can I go outside without a jacket or a sweater and not shiver?
 
If you're not wearing a jacket or sweater right now, then now. Inside is just outside with walls.

Why did I kill Adram last year? (Fictional character)
 
Because you spelled their name wrong.

When will I be able to do something at night again?
 
And the reason you're not doing this and telling us is...

Why can't I think of a new place in North America to take a vacation?
 
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