what kinder people do you attract

[SunnyDay16]

THIS. This is my life!

"Nice people stay away from me because they are not predatory." THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH SO PERFECTLY THANK YOU

I mainly attract weirdos (sometimes harmless ones though), insecure extroverts who complain about my quietness, creeps, and predators - especially at work; that's why I've been harassed so much.

I read a quote once saying "You attract what you are" but it's a lie. I am absolutely NOT a predator. I can't imagine myself going around from stranger to stranger acting like those people do.

I think the "You attract what you are" saying has a bit of truth for SOME people, but some of the stories on here and other places have kind of proven me otherwise. Nice, naive people tend to be attractive to mean, manipulative people because the latter sees the former as "easy targets" because of those qualities.

 

[paloftoon]

i have thought about that, trying to make friends more based on common interests and hobbies. Men do this better. Women like to have other women who they can talk to about more personal stuff. It's just every time I make a friend who I click with that way the friendship dissolves quickly. So do you just try to keep the conversation topics limited hobbies?

Sorry I just noticed this now. It's too late to answer, but I'll tell you my thoughts.

I try my best to go by the context of the situation. For some people, especially if I want nothing to do with them outside an interest group or if I want them to show some initiation, then I will keep the conversation to hobbies only. Otherwise, I will transition into other things or slightly more personal things.

 

[SunnyDay16]

i have thought about that, trying to make friends more based on common interests and hobbies. Men do this better. Women like to have other women who they can talk to about more personal stuff. It's just every time I make a friend who I click with that way the friendship dissolves quickly. So do you just try to keep the conversation topics limited hobbies?

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Friendships in adulthood generally aren't as intimate as friendships when you are younger. People are too wrapped up in their own lives, be it with their partners, careers, kids, etc. It's very possible that the people you tried to befriend are just busy and are too engaged with their lives to juggle another friendship. They could already have close friendships that are taking much of their time, so they just don't have the time to invest in other friendships.

 

[Nihil]

I seem to attract people who have a bunch of problems in their life. Maybe it's just that I relate to them better. Not sure.

 

[Tom]

Lady horse archers.

 

[DesertRose]

In females, I can't really say, one "friend", really had a problem, she was kind of pushy, talked endlessly, and it really got old when she told me I was her friend, as in only her friend. The males I've atteracted, we're manipulative, had hidden agendas, and I'm still out on figuring out present resident. We've been married almost 30 years, he's much older than me, and I still cannot figure him out. ?? I'm not sure there has EVER been a mutual attraction in friend or boyfriend. Hmm, I never really thought of this stuff before. It's a present type of life I've lived, yet obsessing over past mistakes, but never really knowing what happened. If that makes any sense.
I've pretty much stayed to myself, because all relationships fizzle out, or I feel I made such a booboo that I might as well leave.