Video greetings

[Levitator]

I think it would be neat to hear from you guys and see who I'm talking to, so here's not so much a best foot forward, but hopefully a lighthearted one.

 

[1ForAll]

Charisma is hard to explain for me. It could be seen by one being briefer like you for this video where you seem relaxed in many ways and where you seem free to be yourself and speak more of your mind, with regards to how you think and feel regardless if informal or like using mostly humor whereby you poke fun at yourself, and like where you express well with hands, face, tone and using other vocal feeling. Or one could be charismatic to me even if very shy looking, acting more inward and holding back much, as that is endearing and mysterious. Then there are those very talkative persons and very free flowing with words, going either from topic to topic with ease, and also those who are detailed about one topic who can attract others .

In my case, although I have the ability to speak short or at length in one-to-one talks, depending on the other's preference or need, I usually try to very precise and organized regardless. Maybe this is just natural for me. I also have less vocal inflection as showing much feeling comes harder to me, much less using humor. Although I am a bit too sick today to do a video (tail end of flu), the video I did last year is below (may have to turn volume my all the way up to hear as my tablet audio then was not the best).

 

[Alexej]

Hi @1ForAll

The video you posted is coming up as private on my screen. Is this me or you?

 

[1ForAll]

Hi @1ForAll

The video you posted is coming up as private on my screen. Is this me or you?

It shows on my end. I thought when I posted private YouTube link it would appear if I have that link,or must I send an unlisted link?

 

[Rodafina]

must I send an unlisted link

It appears as private for me, too. I think you do have to use an unlisted link.

 

[tree]

 

[Levitator]

Charisma is hard to explain for me. It could be seen by one being briefer like you for this video where you seem relaxed in many ways and where you seem free to be yourself and speak more of your mind, with regards to how you think and feel regardless if informal or like using mostly humor whereby you poke fun at yourself, and like where you express well with hands, face, tone and using other vocal feeling. Or one could be charismatic to me even if very shy looking, acting more inward and holding back much, as that is endearing and mysterious. Then there are those very talkative persons and very free flowing with words, going either from topic to topic with ease, and also those who are detailed about one topic who can attract others .

In my case, although I have the ability to speak short or at length in one-to-one talks, depending on the other's preference or need, I usually try to very precise and organized regardless. Maybe this is just natural for me. I also have less vocal inflection as showing much feeling comes harder to me, much less using humor. Although I am a bit too sick today to do a video (tail end of flu), the video I did last year is below (may have to turn volume my all the way up to hear as my tablet audio then was not the best).

Uh oh, it's set as private, but I'd love to see it. As a computer software guy with few friends, I used to be much more rigid, specific, and technical, but now I try to be more spontaneous. It still leaves huge voids where I have kind of a blank expression. If I'm adopting a character, like "fingergun guy", I look like a totally different person for an instant because it's something I visualized and exerted effort to do, so much so, that I was taken aback by how silly it looked. Though, it's such a ridiculous gesture, I don't exactly desire to master it.

 

[1ForAll]

It appears as private for me, too. I think you do have to use an unlisted link.

Ok, will try changing to unlisted if the small tablet lets me change that there as my laptop broke months ago where I could access more features.

 

[Levitator]

Ok, will try changing to unlisted if the small tablet lets me change that there as my laptop broke months ago where I could access more features.

If you go to Studio -> Channel Content, there's a table of your videos, and you can click the pulldown to change it from "private" to "unlisted".

 

[1ForAll]

 

[Levitator]

You indeed remind me a bit of Thom Yorke. You're very soft-spoken, and as you said, organized and kind of formal. I used to try to be more formal, and then I had a bunch of terrible things happen, and I felt like I gave up all of my dignity, and therefore all of my vanity. I try to relax because if my style is going to embarrass me, it's always going to do that, so I'd might as well be relaxed and unihibited, to the extent that I'm able. I'm still not exactly (nowhere close) to fluent at socializing. I just don't care that it's going to come off silly. People are going to feel that way no matter what we do.

 

[Levitator]

I didn't like my formalistic tendencies. But you get tired of being told you're doing everything wrong, and that makes you try harder and harder, and the hardest way you know to try is to be disciplined, focused, specific, and to plan everything out. That's where I think that comes from. I very deliberately gave that up and unlearned it. I think I had an epiphany when I saw kids calling other people "try-hards" on the Internet. So, now, we're giving up our spontaneity, we're overexerting ourselves, and now people still think we look funny because we're too rigid and we're trying too hard. See? You can never please them, so you'd might as well relax. That's my attitude anyway.

Though, granted, if you're applying for an office job, that's an entirely different situation. I was discussing socialization.

And ultimately, you should be however makes you happy. But I'm commenting from my perspective because I used to present myself more like you are now, and I know what motivated me to be more that way.

 

[mysterionz]

Have fun. I’ve been meaning to post more videos where I’m actually talking about something lol. Any suggestions?

 

[mysterionz]

Anyways here’s something relevant to the thread:

 

[mysterionz]

Last one I promise:

 

[Levitator]

Have fun. I’ve been meaning to post more videos where I’m actually talking about something lol. Any suggestions?

I can't stand the cynical way that "special" is used in the context of mental characteristics, and I don't even want to hear the term used. It's been many years since anybody came straight out and told me that they were going to dislike me because I'm "abnormal". Instead, they quietly turn around and walk away like I don't exist, which is extremely confusing, and so I never figured out that people saw me differently enough to dehumanize and exclude me that way.

Guys like me have much more social pressure to become really inhibited, and I'm glad the world didn't stomp all over your personality. You come off both charmingly unusual and perfectly normal to me, if that makes any sense. You seem very easy to talk to and relate to. I don't see any need for you to be like the rest of the world.

 

[Levitator]

I can't stand the cynical way that "special" is used in the context of mental characteristics, and I don't even want to hear the term used. It's been many years since anybody came straight out and told me that they were going to dislike me because I'm "abnormal". Instead, they quietly turn around and walk away like I don't exist, which is extremely confusing, and so I never figured out that people saw me differently enough to dehumanize and exclude me that way.

Guys like me have much more social pressure to become really inhibited, and I'm glad the world didn't stomp all over your personality. You come off both charmingly unusual and perfectly normal to me, if that makes any sense. You seem very easy to talk to and relate to. I don't see any need for you to be like the rest of the world.

And it's going to upset me if people are calling you "special" in the cynical way, which seems very likely given the usage. I don't see anything wrong with you. I don't see anything wrong with the meanings you convey, and that is what counts to me. If your cadence or style is unusual, then that just means that people should be considerate. I think "unusual" should be nurtured, explored, and discovered, not mistreated.

 

[Levitator]

To me, what's most important about "charisma" is authenticity. Is the person sharing who they are or their ideas in an authentic way? That definition, though, I think you will find to clash with what you will find the rest of the world is looking for, and I'm not even going to bother enumerating what they want, but it's not authenticity. I spent much of the video chuckling at what a disaster my caricatures are. I feel like what the world wants is a guy who sounds like if Troy Mcclure retired from B-movies and became a used car salesman.

 

[1ForAll]

I didn't like my formalistic tendencies. But you get tired of being told you're doing everything wrong, and that makes you try harder and harder, and the hardest way you know to try is to be disciplined, focused, specific, and to plan everything out. That's where I think that comes from. I very deliberately gave that up and unlearned it. I think I had an epiphany when I saw kids calling other people "try-hards" on the Internet. So, now, we're giving up our spontaneity, we're overexerting ourselves, and now people still think we look funny because we're too rigid and we're trying too hard. See? You can never please them, so you'd might as well relax. That's my attitude anyway.

Though, granted, if you're applying for an office job, that's an entirely different situation. I was discussing socialization.

And ultimately, you should be however makes you happy. But I'm commenting from my perspective because I used to present myself more like you are now, and I know what motivated me to be more that way.

Yes, I understand. It is hard to say though for me if how I express is actually me or how I was conditioned to be, or if it was from mostly genetics. I just know my parents did not tolerate mistakes, and they taught us to fear and not trust, so I and my two brothers became mostly silent. Societal members then rejected and criticized that shyness and briefness more, so I admit I went back and forth between avoiding persons and trying to fit in better.

It is great you can, need or want to be yourself after realizing masking was harder or made things worse anyway. It is hard for me to figure out what traits are genetic in.me and which ones were caused by abusive parenting, and as since age thirty five or so I did not feel much intense anxiety, sadness or happiness it could be harder to figure out who I am or want to be now. I do know times I was a very young child laughing and getting really mad, but that seems to have been stomped out by past family and society, and by my attempts to avoid getting too high and low and in avoiding making mistakes.

I do not feel how I am now is causing much effort, but again, I do not feel happiness. A contradiction.

 

[Levitator]

Yes, I understand. It is hard to say though for me if how I express is actually me or how I was conditioned to be, or if it was from mostly genetics. I just know my parents did not tolerate mistakes, and they taught us to fear and not trust, so I and my two brothers became mostly silent. Societal members then rejected and criticized that shyness and briefness more, so I admit I went back and forth between avoiding persons and trying to fit in better.

It is great you can, need or want to be yourself after realizing masking was harder or made things worse anyway. It is hard for me to figure out what traits are genetic in.me and which ones were caused by abusive parenting, and as since age thirty five or so I did not feel much intense anxiety, sadness or happiness it could be harder to figure out who I am or want to be now. I do know times I was a very young child laughing and getting really mad, but that seems to have been stomped out by past family and society, and by my attempts to avoid getting too high and low and in avoiding making mistakes.

I do not feel how I am now is causing much effort, but again, I do not feel happiness. A contradiction.

It actually took me until just now to realize you were telling me you felt like I had "charisma" nailed down better than you do, and I appreciate it, it's very nice of you. I hear your deliberation above precisely, and it's exactly where I've been before. I asked the exact same questions. Why can't I just respond or relate naturally? I've been beaten down so many times. I cringe every time I think about expressing an emotion, and it just won't come out.
I had some incredibly bad things happen, and I basically wound up several floors below rock bottom. I already know what it's like to be humiliated by someone else much worse than I could ever inflict on myself. What I realized is that whatever I have going through my mind is valid for expression, and I don't have to organize it like I'm giving a presentation. Now, on the other hand, it's not magically going to make you likable to the same world that made you all repressed and inhibited. On the other-other hand, we have a lot in common, so if you think I'm more open, then that just means it counts in front of the right person.

Lastly, you said that being formal protects you from "being wrong". That's exactly, precisely where I've been. Another way to look at it, is that to the world, you're always wrong, and it's due to subjective things you can't help. You are looking to logic or precision or facts to justify your style but that's not what they're looking at, so you're protecting yourself from the wrong kind of "error". So, again, you'd might as well just be relaxed and be like "Whatever, dude". I know it's easier said than done.