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Trying to figure myself out

mollusk

mollusk

Member
Hi everyone! I recently had a friend mention that they think I'm on the spectrum... At first I was really surprised, but after looking into it more, I'm starting to think they were right. The weirdest part is that now that I've read about various signs and symptoms, I keep feeling like I notice it more and more in my life. For example, I've always found it difficult to look people in the eyes and interact in certain social situations, but now I am much more conscious about it, so I feel like it's harder to mask my discomfort. Also, I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and lately, it feels like it's somehow gotten better (though this is definitely just me paying more attention to it). So now random smells just irritate me a lot more than I feel like they should. Still, part of me wonders if I'm noticing more and more symptoms in myself simply because I've been researching, and it's on my mind. Essentially, I can't tell if I'm actually on the spectrum or if I'm a neurotypical with random autism-like traits. I'd be curious to compare my experiences with yours so I can better figure myself out.
 
What's funny or strange is that most of my life, people have called me autistic as an insult without knowing that I'm actually autistic.
 
Fino said:
What's funny or strange is that most of my life, people have called me autistic as an insult without knowing that I'm actually autistic.
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Yeah... that's happened to me a couple times before and I'm not sure how I feel about it
 
Happened to me as well, when I became aware of aspergers, I did research and found more and more, that all those silent question type feelings I had thoughout my life, seem to add up, but at the same time, was I kind of making it fit?

There were also some things that did not match up, so I concluded I must not have aspergers. This occured for about 4 years, with no hope of seeing for once and for all, if I did have aspergers and suddenly, much to my surprise, the opportunity came along and after 4 sessions with two different therapists, I came out at level 2 veering towards level 3 ASD.

I do not have a great difficulty with tags; they irritate some times and thus, end up removing them.

So, it is certainly worth you finding out if you have aspergers.
 
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Hi and welcome. I think it's usual to notice something more if you focus on it, where as our early socialisation tells us what most people do, so we tend to learn to cover up and mask what doesn't fit. It can be helpful to know if what you experience is partly due to autism, as these areas can be hard to change, but we can find strategies to help us manage the issues.

Everyone anyway has some aspects of themselves that causes them to have to think how to manage those aspects, so having a different neurology is only one way we may be a bit different. You may just be recognising some ways you differ from the norms, and this will enable you to recognise your individuality and needs better.
 
mollusk said:
Hi everyone! I recently had a friend mention that they think I'm on the spectrum... At first I was really surprised, but after looking into it more, I'm starting to think they were right. The weirdest part is that now that I've read about various signs and symptoms, I keep feeling like I notice it more and more in my life. For example, I've always found it difficult to look people in the eyes and interact in certain social situations, but now I am much more conscious about it, so I feel like it's harder to mask my discomfort. Also, I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and lately, it feels like it's somehow gotten better (though this is definitely just me paying more attention to it). So now random smells just irritate me a lot more than I feel like they should. Still, part of me wonders if I'm noticing more and more symptoms in myself simply because I've been researching, and it's on my mind. Essentially, I can't tell if I'm actually on the spectrum or if I'm a neurotypical with random autism-like traits. I'd be curious to compare my experiences with yours so I can better figure myself out.
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I think most adults who are in a mental space of self-examination, reflection, and awareness will go through this process,...and I think it is important that we do. However, as many neurotypicals have attempted, either in good faith, with empathy,...or as a toxic minimization technique,...when they say, "Well, everyone is a little autistic." and then give examples of how they, too, have experienced those "autistic moments". When it comes to a "condition" such as autism, one must separate someone that has "occasional moments",...from someone that has a rather "chronic tendency" or a "persistent disability",...even despite "therapies". The important thing here is not to get into a "hypochondriac" thought pattern.

There are specific criteria that must be met in order to be diagnosed with an autism condition. See the DSM-5. However, what we know from personal experiences with others on the spectrum, this forum, the countless numbers of scientific studies, and especially the data analysis from the Autism Genome Project,...everyone with an autism is very much a unique individual.

It's important to have a sense of perspective and context during your search for understanding.
 
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Hello. :)

The same happened with me. I didn't really start noticing until my wife told me to research Autism and see if I was on the spectrum (due to my 'unusual behaviour'). The more I looked into it, the more "That's me!" moments I had. I never heard of Autism before...so this was a shocker for me. I thought I was just me.

After being diagnosed, I finally felt comfortable because I now had a name to what's been affecting me all my life and a pathway to live with it. The diagnosis made me upset at first, because it took 55 years to finally get an answer and understand why people would say, "You're a bit off, aren't you?", the bullying, the rejection...but at least now I have an answer. :)
 
It really helped with me, because l just felt like really alone. When you realize nobody else runs logic, or probability tests on everything except myself. That downtime is an important aspect of being us. And that some of us do walk with anxiety and to not let that consume us or we turn into the twilight zone. Finally having autistic parents can make childhood seem like a Tim Burton movie.
 
I have seen similar in medical students convinced that they suffer from some odd condition. I was diagnosed at 60 after my spouse thought that my behaviors were so consistent that they warranted attention.

To be able to mature socially I needed to change the way I thought about things and practice what I needed, to deliberately reach my goal of starting to date at 26. And, I nor others, could understand that I am autistic.
 
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Hi and welcome to the forums. Remember that ASD is a developmental disorder and a diagnosis requires symptoms be present from an early age. This is usually easier for men for many reasons. Women usually have the most obvious problems in High School.
 
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