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Someone called me ugly

Robby

Robby

Well-Known Member
Just when I think things can't get any worse. They continue to do so. I overheard a so-called family member telling another that they think I'm ugly. Yes, they were talking about my beard that I've been growing out and said it was ugly. I mean, really? Excuse me for being a ****ing human being and having feelings no wonder my self-esteem is in the ****ing toilet and I just want to hurt myself all the time. I'm no good I have no job no prospects am gay and everyone hates me because of that oh they'll be nice to your face but when your back's turned people's real feelings come out and no I did not misunderstand them I heard them say it like 4 times that they think my beard is ugly and that "they can get anyone they want" unlike me. I just want to to die I hate myself.
 
How can you ****ing not listen to them when that's all you get are fake ass people who are nice to your face but then make fun of you behind your back? I'd almost rather it be high school again when they would just at least bully me to my face then not act all fake and do it behind my back well excuse me for having a ****ing beard I'm sorry you don't like it well you can turn your head if you don't but it's all good at least I know what people really think now.
 
I got a lot of complaints on my hair as a teen. I would keep it braided, but it usually had a bunch of stray hairs that would come flying out over the course of the day. One cousin I no longer associate with often let me know she thought it was a rat's nest. I think she was just jealous because she could never grow long hair or knew how to braid. ;)
Although truth is she's just a miserable wretch that was always quite the brat growing up and she has even people skills than I do. You just learn to avoid them. Being allistic doesn't automatically make them the kings and queens of conduct.
 
I'm not some teen. I'm 33 years old. I have feelings. And ears. People I thought who cared making comments like that when I'm not in the room. Yea ok.
 
I was about 14 or so, when this boy told me that he thought I was so ugly, that I will be alone for the rest of my life and die alone! Even though I knew I was ugly, it still hurt to be told so and he got my "red hair fury" at him, by me running my finger nail down the side of his face and him crying and screaming! funnily enough, I was not "punished" by teachers for that.

From 16, I started to date and now married for 24 years and my husband finds me beautiful and I have other guys saying so too!

So, I wonder who really is the one who is going to be lonely for the rest of their lives lol

I know, Robby, that it hurts like mad, but what you must try to do is separate from your whole being as ugly, to your beard is what was said to be ugly.

I used to wear my hair with one clip to the side of it and my husband said that out of all the styles, he found that to be ugly as heck and so, never again has Suzanne worn that clip like that lol

Not sure if it is an aspie thing, but I am terrible for thinking that when a person is putting me down, it is my whole being, but let's face it, you can shave your beard off lol
 
I'm vaguely curious what would happen if you told them this to their face…

Probably nothing good, but one can wonder.

I was informed all my childhood that I was ugly, and in the end I decided it didn't matter. Not being ugly is not one of my values, and being ugly is not a vice. Even the guy I'm with will point out that I'm not "conventionally attractive" like his ex on occasion. Though, to me she just looks boring, as do many who are dubbed "conventionally attractive" (I really can't type that phrase outside quote marks). So it's down to taste, I guess.
 
Ok words matter people. I was nice to this person I try to be nice to everyone I meet unless & until they give me a reason not to be. I was going to get my coffee and I heard this ***** laughing to someone mentioning my name saying that "omigosh guys he is so weird & his beard is so ugly" well excuse me I'm not stupid I have ears and words hurt. I hope it was worth it for her to ruin someone's day and make me feel like total ****. Who ****ing talks like that about someone behind their back and is nice to your face? **** that. Before you decide to talk **** about someone, remember people have ears and they might hear you. As if my self-esteem weren't bad enough it's worse now. I hate myself.
 
There's no denying that it's insensitive and impolite. Two wrongs may not make a right, but Ylva's idea actually is a lot of fun to execute. After all, some people have to learn through experience because they ain't got enough sense to think ahead or have a drop of empathy. :D

I'll always wonder how we ended up being the ones considered lacking empathy and social skills. I've not seen some very shining examples in my wanderings out into the world.
 
The degree of cruelty in this world is something else. Just another reason to remain in quiet, relative isolation for me.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
 
Well I'm no different than that ***** who was talking about me this morning. Who ****ing does that? I was completely nice to this person & she is going to talk **** about me like that attack my appearance? And the people she was talking to never bothered to come tell me as a friend either, I had to overhear it. But it's all good at least now I know where I ****ing stand with that *****. I'm just done crying, no more tears left.
 
I am so sorry you are having this hurtful experience, Robby. I know that there is nothing that can make it NOT hurt, to hear such cruel things from people when you've done nothing to deserve it.

The key is that: it was undeserved. Please, don't give bullies power over you by hating yourself, when they have acted despicably. I struggle with this every day (I am also in my 30s) and I have suffered many, many attacks on my appearance and abilities starting in grade school. From the posts I have read, you seem like a kind, sensitive, creative, interesting person. And you are right, the majority of people you will encounter are shallow, cruel, insensitive, boring and tacky. But that is their flaw, not yours.

Please do something kind for yourself today; eat a meal you like, watch a favorite movie, play some great music, or get some early rest. I know crappy things happen, but you don't deserve them. Sending the hope that the joy you do deserve, will find its way to you very soon!
 
Well just when I start feeling better about myself some ***** stabs me in the back & hurts me. This was someone I opened doors for and was nice to on a daily basis & for me to hear her making fun of me like that really hurts. But I'm not wasting any more tears I have no more tears left any more. I was minding my business going to get coffee and overheard her laughing about me making fun of me to some other people in the break room. How or why my name even came up to them I have no idea but I heard my name and then what she said about me. I'm almost suicidal at this point but I don't have any more tears left I am so ****ing over crying over people who don't give a **** about me I mean how can someone like that ****ing sleep at night? I feel like I am having a full scale panic attack over this. I don't think I can go back there and face those people after what they ****ing said about me. Word to the wise people, anytime you think of making fun of someone check yourself because we have ears and might hear your two-faced ass.
 
Robby said:
And I have no hope or joy left any more.
Click to expand...
Please, Robby, you can't expect to sort this kind of thing out on your own. You need to know that you matter, that that person is cruel--many people are cruel--but YOU are valued. If you feel like you can't go on, please call for help first:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

There is a US number in the right sidebar. If you are in another country, let me know and I can post a more relevant resource.

There may also be support networks on LGBTQ sites, perhaps someone here can recommend a good one?

I have felt as you feel now. Fortunately, I don't feel so badly now, and now find much in life to bring me joy. You can, too, but you have to take that first--very difficult--step forward, and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You are hurting a lot, but you CAN overcome it, even though it feels like you can't.
 
Robby Yes Words Matter. That's why it is our responsibility to ourselves not to listen to certain types of voices. I have been called a retard, stupid, clutzy, ugly, a bytch (while protecting my newborn baby daughter), and several other words not allowed on this forum. We have a choice, so please choose to Listen to other kinds of voices, we are talking to you. We are standing with you.
 
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Hey, I'm 27 and I still get judgements about my hair and my beard. Some people are just dickhead posers.
 
Please consider the possibility that the stupid person may actually hate all facial hair and has no ability to judge your appearance with your new beard. I do have one suggestion--please be careful to keep your beard neatly trimmed. Long or short, neatness counts.:)
 
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