Primary Way of Expressing Yourself?

[Pondering]

There are many forms of art, and they each have various ways of conveying what words cannot. So what is your primary way of expressing yourself? And by expressing yourself, I don't mean communicating. I mean the way you feel emotionally, creatively, and/or artistically free.

1. Speaking
2. Dancing
3. Singing
4. Writing
5. Playing an instrument
6. Drawing and/or sketching
7. Painting
8. Kulning
9. Acting/Theatre or musical theatre
10. Pantomiming
11. Sign language
12. Other???

 

[Gracey]

Primary is usually language, it’s what those closest to me understand best.

If it were up to me, I’d rather not speak at all,
for me it’s easier.
I think much better than speaking out loud.

 

[George Newman]

Primary is usually language, it’s what those closest to me understand best.

If it were up to me, I’d rather not speak at all,
for me it’s easier.
I think much better than speaking out loud.

Gracey, I am intrigued. What would be a better communication method for you and for those around you if you didn’t speak at all? I’m with you, I’d rather not speak at all but realistically that is not an option for me.

 

[Gritches]

ooo, if I were going to pick from that list, I'd pick Pantomiming.

I pretty much always pantomime while I talk, because when I'm not being clear enough pantomiming can help convey what I'm trying to say, and when I am being clear it'll reinforce my point. There's no way to lose, unless you try to pantomime something you shouldn't.

 

[Chance]

#12 Other - actions instead of words... While others are hashing stuff out I go get it done and have already moved onto something else usually... To me (and not always) talk is cheap and mostly empty... Probably not a really good way to view it I suppose. : )

Next is writing... I like to write and then drawing but really only like stuff like blueprints and maps... : )

 

[kay]

I can talk a lot sometimes, not sure that I'm expressing myself so much as it's one more fidget.

Maybe it's the stuff I fill my house with, like an empty can of Babo cleaner, a stuffed dead road, a bat man I made from a Ken head and plastic wings, and other oddities. I do paint but I think the crap I collect may express me better.

 

[Progster]

Writing. I'm not much of a talker.

 

[SusanLR]

I prefer not much talking also, but, it isn't realistic in the world of people.
As far as expressing my inner thoughts and feelings and
what I'm about it would be songs.
So many tell a story in a very creative way and the emotions put into the song along with sound effects can
tell what I feel inside, my thoughts/beliefs and personality.

 

[Gracey]

Gracey, I am intrigued. What would be a better communication method for you and for those around you if you didn’t speak at all? I’m with you, I’d rather not speak at all but realistically that is not an option for me.

Not much of an option for me either George.
Not if I want people to understand a question or answer.
So constructing sentences and speaking them out loud is compulsory with adult humans in real time (who sometimes appear to be in a hurry and can interrupt when I’m answering)

I can’t think of an alternative at the moment that would convey more than a yes or no or don’t know.
(Nod head, shake head, shrug shoulders)
The person asking the question would have to be looking at me though and not zooming along doing other things directing their question to the air.


My dog doesn’t care if I don’t speak out loud. We understand each other perfectly and can just be.

 

[Ezra]

Writing and gesturing.

 

[Chance]

An after thought...

Sometimes NOT expressing myself is what I want most.
Avoiding people and the whole process of having to line up thoughts, words, emotions, responses...
My day just goes so much better when I get to be off somewhere by myself (or with my dog).
No expectations, and usually I'm much more creative, calm, relaxed, and I feel free to just be me.

Sadly those days are few, but I can always dream of that freedom I guess. : )

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Sometime I feel being asked anything

Is just rude.

Ie It's nobody's business.

On top of that it's hard to create the universe each time someone asks me something.
In a big,undefined nothing someone says -

'How are you?'


Ok,sounds are attached to things, things are probably an imported Danish word in the tenth century,things you can point at,unless they're concepts, like a Tuesday. I like cheese. My name is fridge. Good to go.

'okay'

 

[Chance]

Sometime I feel being asked anything

Is just rude.

Ie It's nobody's business.

On top of that it's hard to create the universe each time someone asks me something.
In a big,undefined nothing someone says -

'How are you?'


Ok,sounds are attached to things, things are probably an imported Danish word in the tenth century,things you can point at,unless they're concepts, like a Tuesday. I like cheese. My name is fridge. Good to go.

'okay'

Person says, "How are you?" My mind goes into overdrive to give a condensed version of the cumulative answer that I have that dates back to my first thoughts... Then I suppose they are only asking how am I at that moment... Then I question why they want to know? If its not a good moment I know I need to lie (to be seen as normal) and I don't want too... By this time I just want to throw a middle finger at the whole thing and move on...

Then I feel horrible because I couldn't be a normal freaking human being and say "I'm fine," when I am far from being fine at times, but I also don't want people in that part of my reality...

I feel selfish not wanting to converse with people, but at times... its just too mentally complicated, and they only see the weirdness/awkwardness and not all the thinking (a life thesis) going on behind my eyes.

 

[Lichi]

I prefer writing more than anything. Even then I prefer long texts in form of letters or e-mails rather than instant messaging. Instant messages in fact increases my anxiety as I feel pressured to respond correct within a short timeframe.

Person says, "How are you?" My mind goes into overdrive to give a condensed version of the cumulative answer that I have that dates back to my first thoughts... Then I suppose they are only asking how am I at that moment... Then I question why they want to know? If its not a good moment I know I need to lie (to be seen as normal) and I don't want too... By this time I just want to throw a middle finger at the whole thing and move on...

Then I feel horrible because I couldn't be a normal freaking human being and say "I'm fine," when I am far from being fine at times, but I also don't want people in that part of my reality...

I feel selfish not wanting to converse with people, but at times... its just too mentally complicated, and they only see the weirdness/awkwardness and not all the thinking (a life thesis) going on behind my eyes.

I’m always stuck in that too. I don’t understand what the correct answer to “how are you?” is. I was content until the person made me aware about it, and now I’m upset because my state of mind is dynamic and keeps on changing every passing moment, yet I am not as upset that this should be pointed out separately. I end up with replying “OK”.

 

[Juliettaa]

Primary is speaking - not through choice, but a necessity in the workplace and working my way through everyday life. However, when I'm on holiday I do not speak to anyone other than my husband. And when there's a requirement for speech, he has to speak for me.

Favoured - singing. I can't sing, or so I'm told, but to me being able to sing out loud, completely uninhibited, is the best

 

[ladybug]

ooo, if I were going to pick from that list, I'd pick Pantomiming.

I pretty much always pantomime while I talk, because when I'm not being clear enough pantomiming can help convey what I'm trying to say, and when I am being clear it'll reinforce my point. There's no way to lose, unless you try to pantomime something you shouldn't.

I'm sorry....?? 'Pantomiming'..?!?? What is this..?? I'm sorry to appear thick....

 

[Gritches]

I'm sorry....?? 'Pantomiming'..?!?? What is this..?? I'm sorry to appear thick....

It's basically "talking with your hands" but you "mime" what you're talking about. It's like gesturing, but usually involves your whole body instead of just your hands.

The simplest example I can think of is like if you're talking about dancing, you do a little dance for a second or two to reinforce that you're literally talking about dancing, the activity.

It's tricky to do right; you'll look weird if your timing is off or if the gesture is too flagrant. For the dancing example, you'd want to do the dance right as you use the word "dance", because "dance" is the word you're pantomiming.

And of course, it's a language of subtlety. Don't go all out and do The Flamingo; just put your hands up a little and sway back and forth a couple times. That's sufficient to convey your point.

The purpose, aside from reinforcing your point and providing a contextual hint, is to appear more animated while you speak. Aspies in our natural state will often be "talking statues" as I call it - more or less motionless as we speak. This alone weirds people out.

So, don't be a talking statue, animate your world with pantomiming!

 

[LucyPurrs]

Need help here (being an NT). If I genuinely want to know how someone is doing, feeling, things are going for them, how can I ask this in a way that doesn't throw aspies into a tizzy or solicit "I'm fine" when things are not, as a response. I don't usually do small talk either but I do ask good friends how they are and really want to know, otherwise I wouldn't ask. So many of the comments above kind of leave me perplexed as to how to proceed to show caring about what's going on with someone. I don't like to ask specific questions because that does feel intrusive to me- as Fridge says, it may be none of my business. But if you're my friend, and I care about you and want to be there for you, then how do I ask in a comprehensible way that also allows you to give as little or as much information as you wish? Maybe I just have to not ask?

 

[Pondering]

Need help here (being an NT). If I genuinely want to know how someone is doing, feeling, things are going for them, how can I ask this in a way that doesn't throw aspies into a tizzy or solicit "I'm fine" when things are not, as a response. I don't usually do small talk either but I do ask good friends how they are and really want to know, otherwise I wouldn't ask. So many of the comments above kind of leave me perplexed as to how to proceed to show caring about what's going on with someone. I don't like to ask specific questions because that does feel intrusive to me- as Fridge says, it may be none of my business. But if your my friend, and I care about you and want to be there for you, then how do I ask in a comprehensible way that also allows you to give as little or as much information as you wish? Maybe I just have to not ask?

You should make your intentions clear and without any subtext whatsoever. I think it's safe to say that many people on the spectrum prefer absolute unfiltered candor. Sit them down and give them your full undivided attention and ask the person something along the lines of: "How are you doing, really? I'm not asking just to ask. I'm asking because I care about you and I genuinely want to know. And if there's anything you need, I'm here for you." It's not guaranteed to work, but it's worth a try, and increases your odds of getting a sincere and candid response.

 

[Gracey]

Choose a topic Lucy.

“How are you?” Is massive.
Personalise it, specify, choose a subject given what you know about the person you’re asking.

If you would like a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Nobody doubts you care, of course you do
To get focus, ask about something specific.
(There’s likely a lot of things going on in a mind all at once)

Narrow it down, - painful body parts, organ function, mood, progress on a project or self help and so on.

Does the above help at all?