Oh, For Shame!

[Alcyon]

Curious phenomenon noted on this forum: it's not unusual for a member to pour their heart out, or offer up pithy, well-intentioned advice in a long, nicely written post and they get...nothing. No "likes" or "atta girl!" just nothing.

The only other forum I am, or have ever been, involved with is quite different. Sometimes it seems as though just (figuratively) clearing one's throat gets applause. I have replied to threads about 2200 times; I've got over 37,000 "likes"!

I myself have been, and will continue to, "like", "funny", "friendly", and all the other options (I wish there were more), the heck out of as many of your posts as I can because I genuinely appreciate your taking the time to share, and I have been surprised by how often I have been deeply moved by things I have read here.

Y'all are on the spectrum of..."Awesometism"!

 

[Suzanne]

First, thank you for always thumbing up my answsers.

I admit that I have to force myself to thumb someone up, because I actually think: They won't appreciate you giving them a thumbs up? You are a nothing and so, why would people think: ah, that is so sweet of Suzanne to do that! Which is why I have to push thoughts out of the way and just do it, because otherwise, I would stop coming on the internet.

But yes, I am in communication with an other female aspie and she said that she felt hurt that barely anyone thumbs her up and it is true: if you scroll down and see everyone has had some kind of acknowledgement and then, yours is blank, it can create a spiral of negative feelings splurging forth.

I recognise, though, that I am hyper sensitive etc, and so, just try to ignore it all.

 

[Mr Allen]

Sorry man but anyone who posts on any forum, including social media such as Facebook, purely to get "likes" does not have a life beyond the Internet IMO.

There's more to life than how many times people "like" your posts, that's all I'm saying

 

[Telsa]

Sorry man but anyone who posts on any forum, including social media such as Facebook, purely to get "likes" does not have a life beyond the Internet IMO.

There's more to life than how many times people "like" your posts, that's all I'm saying

Likes are internet money. Everyone needs money.

 

[xudo]

I always like (etc) people's posts because I usually find this easier than actually replying. Not to say that I don't reply, but I worry about how to put things into words or get my point across. Sometimes there's no need for a reply and I just want the poster to know that I like/agree (or whatever) with their post.

 

[Nitro]

I have a lot of karma on this site,but I also invest a lot of time here adding to the site's content,and toss out as much as is passed my way most of the time. I cannot properly respond to the number of posts I read a day,so I consider them acknowledgment that I did take my time to read something.

I think of them as small rewards for being an active part of a community.
Rewards are a good thing

 

[Alcyon]

Sorry man but anyone who posts on any forum, including social media such as Facebook, purely to get "likes" does not have a life beyond the Internet IMO.

There's more to life than how many times people "like" your posts, that's all I'm saying

Likes are internet money. Everyone needs money.

Oh my goodness! You misunderstand! Or I didn't put my point across well.

The reactions have no particular intrinsic worth, that should go without saying. But I did just say it. I view them as a way of indicating support, encouragement, and, dare I say it, affection! As somebody above put it so wonderfully :

I genuinely appreciate your taking the time to share, and I have been surprised by how often I have been deeply moved by things I have read here.

...I am in communication with an other female aspie and she said that she felt hurt that barely anyone thumbs her up and it is true: if you scroll down and see everyone has had some kind of acknowledgement and then, yours is blank, it can create a spiral of negative feelings splurging forth.

This is why I created this thread. I am struck by the rate of attrition here. Go back to a year-old thread, heck, even one that's only six months old; the number of people who are no longer active is disturbing. What is one of our biggest problems, a worry that can plague us? We don't know how we are perceived by others, we don't know if we are fitting in, if we are valued. What do most of us value? Clarity! My clicking on a symbol is a clear way of saying "thank-you".

If we don't support each other, how can we ask that of others?

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Hmm. I guess I just rate comments which I find a exceptional. I guess it just seems like you remove all the fun out of it if you are rate every comment because - why not?

But I do get it, the feeling to have someone react to your comment, you feel like your opinion has more validity to it of some sort and I feel that too. I guess though I don't really think about it too much.

After saying that I better'cha gonna feel really good if I rate your comment? Haha.

 

[OkRad]

We love your posts, Alcyon! See, you have three "winners" already

I agree. I think everyone here rocks just because. And because I know how hard life can be with Autism. That is not why I like the posts. I really like all the wisdom I get here.

Sometimes before I go to bed I think, "Wow.....other people are just like me. Seriously? How can that be?"

I know in "real life" we would all close down and our guard would snap right back up, so this board means even more because everyone is so honest and open and feels safe to be!

 

[Mia]

Know that some people leave because they don't feel welcome, or their views and perspectives are not accepted or they are judged or criticized or directly questioned too bluntly. Members do become upset with disagreements, or feel slighted in some way, and have left after misunderstandings with other members. Others have moved on and no longer have the time or desire to participate, or they have found the information they required.

Some might find people too factual or literal perhaps. Others have difficulty in general with arguments or being criticized for their knowledge and opinions. Some desired a certain intellectual hierarchy and needed to prove themselves. Whereas some auties and aspies have a tendency to be hurt by those ever-present wounds, which have been compounded throughout their lives. Making it difficult to adapt in times of dispute or dissension.

It's not a forum that is terribly social in an ordinary fashion, or overtly friendly to a degree. Aspies tend to be honest, and realistic. They don't do the 'likes' of the ordinary world all that much. There are few cheerleaders here, and it's likely that their interests and perspectives play a part in their liking or following someone. They tend toward avoiding popularity, which seems fake and superficial and exactly what they want to avoid in the real world, but have to deal with each and every day in normal society. Here, they can be themselves to a certain extent, sans the artificiality.

 

[Full Steam]

Like are a good guide to the value you create for others. Everyone wants feedback, and if you want people to continue providing great value then you should let them know.

On other, non autism forums I've seen lots of herd mentality where forum "leaders" get liked by all the sheep as they all jockey for position and try to fit in.

Non of that here of course, so maybe a reason for less likes?

 

[Full Steam]

I also use the android app here, which disappointingly only allows likes, not the other options.

 

[Alcyon]

I also use the android app here, which disappointingly only allows likes, not the other options.

That's interesting, I am using an android and all options are available... using my large fingers to pick one is a different story.

 

[Full Steam]

That's interesting, I am using an android and all options are available... using my large fingers to pick one is a different story.

 

[Full Steam]

Do you see more options, or am i missing something?

 

[Nitro]

I also use the android app here, which disappointingly only allows likes, not the other options.

I'm an android user,and to tell the truth,the app is not all that great. I saw a huge loss of functionality over a browser based version of the site. I'm not too keen on having to use Adobe Crash in order to upload images here either,but according to admin,that is due to change in the future.

 

[Alcyon]

Do you see more options, or am i missing something?

I can't argue with that!

It occurred to me sometime after, that you very distinctly did say "app". I sometimes use my phone to view the website itself. I don't have an app for this. Would having one be an advantage?

 

[Alcyon]

I'm an android user,and to tell the truth,the app is not all that great. I saw a huge loss of functionality over a browser based version of the site. I'm not too keen on having to use Adobe Crash in order to upload images here either,but according to admin,that is due to change in the future.

Well my question was answered almost as soon as I asked it! Now that's service!

 

[Nitro]

This is what a post on a PC browser looks like with the karma choices circled in red

 

[Nitro]

My 'puter is also wired to a 50 inch TV as a monitor cuz I'm a blind ole bat