"Meeting myself for the very first time"

[Kathleen Casiano]

Hi everyone, my name is Katie and I'm 39 years old. I'm a mother to my awesome 6-year-old son and a wife to my devoted husband of 7 years. I'm completely new here and brand spanking new to autism spectrum disorder. I just recently discovered that there's no doubt about it that I have Asperger's. My whole entire life has been nothing but a frustrating mystery to why am I the way I am and why is everyone else so different? Ever since I was a little girl, I knew that there was definitely something different but special about me. Unfortunately, both of my parents were clueless and ignorant, and I remained undiagnosed, being neglected and abused by them. I became so frustrated with myself and life that the only way i learned how to escape was by self- destructing. It started with meltdowns of rage causing me to hit myself, then cutting, and then using drugs in order to self-medicate. I'm now in recovery and through my sobriety, I became more and more self-aware of my own characteristics, which then lead me to do a lot of research on all of my very many self-curiosities. When I finally put all the puzzle pieces together and learned about Asperger's, it was like a bomb of relief went off inside of me! I actually began crying because I realized once and for all that I wasn't crazy, weird, or just damaged goods! Everything at that moment made complete sense to me and I felt so grateful to know that there were so many others just like me and that I wasn't alone anymore! There were so many times in my past where I honestly felt suicidal. Not only did I try to commit suicide but though my addiction, I didn't care if I died. Now I truly know that everything I went though was for a reason and that I'm alive today, so that i can share my personal experience to help others. I have an appointment tomorrow to get evaluated for an official diagnosis and even though I'm really nervous, I'm super excited to begin this awesome journey of self-exploration. I want to learn more about myself every single day and receive any necessary treatment so that I can become the best version of me! This whole thing feels like I'm meeting myself for the very first time and I'm very honored and looking forward to meeting all of you guys too!!!!!

 

[Au Naturel]

Hi everyone, my name is Katie and I'm 39 years old. I'm a mother to my awesome 6-year-old son and a wife to my devoted husband of 7 years. I'm completely new here and brand spanking new to autism spectrum disorder. I just recently discovered that there's no doubt about it that I have Asperger's. My whole entire life has been nothing but a frustrating mystery to why am I the way I am and why is everyone else so different? Ever since I was a little girl, I knew that there was definitely something different but special about me. Unfortunately, both of my parents were clueless and ignorant, and I remained undiagnosed, being neglected and abused by them. I became so frustrated with myself and life that the only way i learned how to escape was by self- destructing. It started with meltdowns of rage causing me to hit myself, then cutting, and then using drugs in order to self-medicate. I'm now in recovery and through my sobriety, I became more and more self-aware of my own characteristics, which then lead me to do a lot of research on all of my very many self-curiosities. When I finally put all the puzzle pieces together and learned about Asperger's, it was like a bomb of relief went off inside of me! I actually began crying because I realized once and for all that I wasn't crazy, weird, or just damaged goods! Everything at that moment made complete sense to me and I felt so grateful to know that there were so many others just like me and that I wasn't alone anymore! There were so many times in my past where I honestly felt suicidal. Not only did I try to commit suicide but though my addiction, I didn't care if I died. Now I truly know that everything I went though was for a reason and that I'm alive today, so that i can share my personal experience to help others. I have an appointment tomorrow to get evaluated for an official diagnosis and even though I'm really nervous, I'm super excited to begin this awesome journey of self-exploration. I want to learn more about myself every single day and receive any necessary treatment so that I can become the best version of me! This whole thing feels like I'm meeting myself for the very first time and I'm very honored and looking forward to meeting all of you guys too!!!!!

That's a heck of a story. Good luck to you!

 

[Richelle-H]

Welcome to the forums. There is a wealth of information as well as individual experience here. No two of us are exactly alike but we all share in what it is like to be on the spectrum. Just be honest during your evaluation, there is no reason to be otherwise.

 

[Nitro]

 

[330]

Hello

 

[Stuttermabolur]

Greetings @Kathleen Casiano! You sound awesome, and I'm really glad you are figuring yourself out. I really believe understanding yourself is the most important step you can take in dealing with serious psychological problems (I'm talking about self harm and depression not asperger's, so that's absolutely clear). I"m certain you can use what you have learned in understanding yourself to help others, as I also believe some outside support is crucial to stay out of bad habits and harmful psychological spirals. This forum is that support for a lot of us.

Is that you on the profile picture? I really like the hair. For want of a better description, it looks East Asian. Are you into culture and/or media from that region of the world? I hope you'll stick around and that the evaluation goes well.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! Hopefully you find your journey rewarding and insightful - and there's lots of stories and resources here that might help you feel less alone.

 

[Slime_Punk]

Welcome, and congratulations on the sobriety! IMO no progress can be made without it

 

[Aspychata]

Excellent you joined here. Looking forward to your posts.
Welcome.

 

[Alexej]

This whole thing feels like I'm meeting myself for the very first time

Now that you have met yourself, and are now meeting us - a very warm welcome to you.
This is a good place so do hang around and get to know us a bit.

 

[Diego]

welcome

 

[Magna]

Welcome.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

One of us! One of us! One of us!

 

[Chameleon In Recovery]

Hi everyone, my name is Katie and I'm 39 years old. I'm a mother to my awesome 6-year-old son and a wife to my devoted husband of 7 years. I'm completely new here and brand spanking new to autism spectrum disorder. I just recently discovered that there's no doubt about it that I have Asperger's. My whole entire life has been nothing but a frustrating mystery to why am I the way I am and why is everyone else so different? Ever since I was a little girl, I knew that there was definitely something different but special about me. Unfortunately, both of my parents were clueless and ignorant, and I remained undiagnosed, being neglected and abused by them. I became so frustrated with myself and life that the only way i learned how to escape was by self- destructing. It started with meltdowns of rage causing me to hit myself, then cutting, and then using drugs in order to self-medicate. I'm now in recovery and through my sobriety, I became more and more self-aware of my own characteristics, which then lead me to do a lot of research on all of my very many self-curiosities. When I finally put all the puzzle pieces together and learned about Asperger's, it was like a bomb of relief went off inside of me! I actually began crying because I realized once and for all that I wasn't crazy, weird, or just damaged goods! Everything at that moment made complete sense to me and I felt so grateful to know that there were so many others just like me and that I wasn't alone anymore! There were so many times in my past where I honestly felt suicidal. Not only did I try to commit suicide but though my addiction, I didn't care if I died. Now I truly know that everything I went though was for a reason and that I'm alive today, so that i can share my personal experience to help others. I have an appointment tomorrow to get evaluated for an official diagnosis and even though I'm really nervous, I'm super excited to begin this awesome journey of self-exploration. I want to learn more about myself every single day and receive any necessary treatment so that I can become the best version of me! This whole thing feels like I'm meeting myself for the very first time and I'm very honored and looking forward to meeting all of you guys too!!!!!

Hi Katie !

Welcome, welcome , welcome !!! I joined about a week ago, so I am new too. Everyone here is so helpful and kind. It’s refreshing . I hope this group helps you learn and feel supported - I know it’s been that experience for me thus far .
Best of luck with your appointment. Let us know how it goes ! X

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome!

 

[All-Rounder]

Heck of a story like it was mentioned indeed. I'm glad you realized that drugs can't cure and got the strength to give up drugs. It's so strange that some drugs like psilocybin actually affect authoritarianism levels, LSD alter and change memories, it was used by the CIA and the army in experiments to brainwash due to its increased effectiveness, essentially some of these substances alter some of who you are.

I hope you get effective and right treatment for your suffering and become the best version of you!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I was in my fifties before I figured it out, but then I was having no issues like many on here.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, glad that you are understanding yourself better now, it helps to know about this so that you can factor your knowledge in to any strategies you develop for coping with how things are for you.

 

[Kathleen Casiano]

Hi Katie !

Welcome, welcome , welcome !!! I joined about a week ago, so I am new too. Everyone here is so helpful and kind. It’s refreshing . I hope this group helps you learn and feel supported - I know it’s been that experience for me thus far .
Best of luck with your appointment. Let us know how it goes ! X

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! To be completely honest with you, I was really nervous about writing that post! I'm so used to putting on that mask all the time, but now that I know for sure that there's nothing wrong with me, I no longer have to hide and be something I'm not. I can finally become the person I was always meant to be and let me tell you what a relief that is to me! I'm looking forward to sharing on a regular basis and hey, hopefully that will lead me to learning even more about myself. Anyway, Happy New Year and stay in touch!

 

[Kathleen Casiano]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it! To be completely honest with you, I was really nervous about writing that post! I'm so used to putting on that mask all the time, but now that I know for sure that there's nothing wrong with me, I no longer have to hide and be something I'm not. I can finally become the person I was always meant to be and let me tell you what a relief that is to me! I'm looking forward to sharing on a regular basis and hey, hopefully that will lead me to learning even more about myself. Anyway, Happy New Year and stay in touch!

Now that you have met yourself, and are now meeting us - a very warm welcome to you.
This is a good place so do hang around and get to know us a bit.

Thanks, I'm finally, the first time in my life, looking forward to meeting and talking to people, lol!