*Little* Things That Annoy You (Pet Peeves)

[Misty Avich]

When an NT misunderstands or bullies an Aspie, and the Aspie still admits the NT has empathy. But if an Aspie misunderstands one teeny little thing about others, other Aspie jump down their throat and yell "have empathy! You lack empathy!"

If anyone brings up that horrible E-word to me in a negative context then I will personally throw my toys out of the pram. Yes, call me a snowflake but I just can't bear that E-word.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

So she didn't give you all the information (or even a registration number if it was still there) and then got angry with you because she didn't give you all the information?
Yeah, sounds about right; I honestly get the feeling some people expect everyone they want something from to be mind readers.

Pretty much. I was ready to yell at her for refusing to answer my simple question. I even told her that she would need to someone different depending on which car she was interested in.

 

[Aspychata]

Went out of my way to help someone keep their house, then they fall down the rabbit hole by inviting a deadbeat to stay with them. Their budget is already strained. 9 cat mouths to feed. Huge outstanding bills. Oh boy. I need to take a horse size patience pill. The last people that stayed with her are now staying in jail minus their kids. I am little peeved. You work so hard to get someone to a better place, but what good is it if they steer the boat into the rocks?

 

[AGXStarseed]

Went out of my way to help someone keep their house, then they fall down the rabbit hole by inviting a deadbeat to stay with them. Their budget is already strained. 9 cat mouths to feed. Huge outstanding bills. Oh boy. I need to take a horse size patience pill. The last people that stayed with her are now staying in jail minus their kids. I am little peeved. You work so hard to get someone to a better place, but what good is it if they steer the boat into the rocks?

Reminds me of an old quote:

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink".

 

[Cryptid]

People who insist that extraterrestrial, paranormal, or supernatural entities are real, and who have no proof to support their claims.

"Ya jus' gotta b'leev!", they say

 

[Misty Avich]

People who think there's no such thing as mild, moderate or severe levels of autism. While we've established that everyone on the spectrum is different from one another, mild and severe can be useful descriptors to use for SOME of us who really ARE mild or severe.

Moderate = the most common autism that is both OR neither mild or severe.

Mild = no speech delays in childhood, articulate, ASD more invisible, come across as quirky more than challenged, often people in this group work, get married and even have children (though that's not to say all mildly autistic people can do those things but their incapabilities are more likely to be due to co-morbids such as ADHD, anxiety, depression or bipolar).

Severe = usually non-verbal, or spoke later than average in childhood, and often spoken communication in childhood wasn't articulate, their condition is more visible or obvious in their actions, behaviours and communication, may have more 'stereotypical' autism behaviours such as visibly stimming (hand-flapping or rocking). May live independently but under support from the social, may struggle more with taking part in NT society, may be more obviously 'challenged' rather than just quirky.

When I was first diagnosed at 8 years old (so young for an articulate female Aspie on the very mild end of the spectrum), I knew a 7-year-old boy with what was described as "severe autism". He was in diapers, couldn't say any words, could only shout and bark, and had aggressive meltdowns and just spent all the time in his sensory room on his own, completely shutting out the world and not wanting any other children anywhere near him. He always had his hands over his ears when near other people. I was actually a little afraid of him, and I said to my mum that I'm comparable to him because I was on the spectrum, even though I actually felt more comparable to my NT peers than I did him.

He's obviously level 3, I'm level 1. My female autistic friend is level 2. She's a bit more complex than me or the autistic boy (although I don't know him any more but I'm just going by what I had known of him). She exhibits both severe and mild autism depending on her environment. She didn't speak until she was about 8. I spoke when I was 13 months (well that's when I said my first word, then after that I just started stringing words together like the average toddler and had no delays in speech at all). Before my first birthday my parents say I would babble, point to objects or people, and hand toys to people.

 

[Misty Avich]

Traffic lights that stay red for like 3 minutes but only green for about 5 seconds.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Bullies. Too much hate in the world and not enough kindness or respect for each other.

 

[Misty Avich]

People who fill their lungs with air, tighten their throat muscles and force the air out, making a massive roar and calling it a burp. It's no way that it's a burp. A burp is air from the stomach coming up and sounding human.

 

[Levitator]

People who think there's no such thing as mild, moderate or severe levels of autism. While we've established that everyone on the spectrum is different from one another, mild and severe can be useful descriptors to use for SOME of us who really ARE mild or severe.

Moderate = the most common autism that is both OR neither mild or severe.

Mild = no speech delays in childhood, articulate, ASD more invisible, come across as quirky more than challenged, often people in this group work, get married and even have children (though that's not to say all mildly autistic people can do those things but their incapabilities are more likely to be due to co-morbids such as ADHD, anxiety, depression or bipolar).

Severe = usually non-verbal, or spoke later than average in childhood, and often spoken communication in childhood wasn't articulate, their condition is more visible or obvious in their actions, behaviours and communication, may have more 'stereotypical' autism behaviours such as visibly stimming (hand-flapping or rocking). May live independently but under support from the social, may struggle more with taking part in NT society, may be more obviously 'challenged' rather than just quirky.

When I was first diagnosed at 8 years old (so young for an articulate female Aspie on the very mild end of the spectrum), I knew a 7-year-old boy with what was described as "severe autism". He was in diapers, couldn't say any words, could only shout and bark, and had aggressive meltdowns and just spent all the time in his sensory room on his own, completely shutting out the world and not wanting any other children anywhere near him. He always had his hands over his ears when near other people. I was actually a little afraid of him, and I said to my mum that I'm comparable to him because I was on the spectrum, even though I actually felt more comparable to my NT peers than I did him.

He's obviously level 3, I'm level 1. My female autistic friend is level 2. She's a bit more complex than me or the autistic boy (although I don't know him any more but I'm just going by what I had known of him). She exhibits both severe and mild autism depending on her environment. She didn't speak until she was about 8. I spoke when I was 13 months (well that's when I said my first word, then after that I just started stringing words together like the average toddler and had no delays in speech at all). Before my first birthday my parents say I would babble, point to objects or people, and hand toys to people.

Yep, yep. I would guess I rank on the mild end, as well, but I think we should remind ourselves that it's difficult to maintain proper introspection because people tend not to tell you what it is that's socially defeating you. They leave a hole in your life, and you're left to ask yourself why it's there, and that kind of sucks. I'm not going to sit and tell you I don't have any outward quirks, because people treat me like I'm a space alien, so I assume that I do, and nobody has the patience or desire to tell me what they are. So, I'm stuck trying to infer what the alleged problem is. I think it's illuminating to look out at other people who are similar, and use them as a sort of mirror to gain perspective on yourself.

As I keep saying, in terms of capability, what I do works for me, and so it is not a disability. It's other people it doesn't work for. I am, however, mildly curious to know on what occasions I look like to others like I was struck stupid, and that's why they're embarrassed to associate with me, or whatever.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yep, yep. I would guess I rank on the mild end, as well, but I think we should remind ourselves that it's difficult to maintain proper introspection because people tend not to tell you what it is that's socially defeating you. They leave a hole in your life, and you're left to ask yourself why it's there, and that kind of sucks. I'm not going to sit and tell you I don't have any outward quirks, because people treat me like I'm a space alien, so I assume that I do, and nobody has the patience or desire to tell me what they are. So, I'm stuck trying to infer what the alleged problem is. I think it's illuminating to look out at other people who are similar, and use them as a sort of mirror to gain perspective on yourself.

As I keep saying, in terms of capability, what I do works for me, and so it is not a disability. It's other people it doesn't work for. I am, however, mildly curious to know on what occasions I look like to others like I was struck stupid, and that's why they're embarrassed to associate with me, or whatever.

With me I can generally tell if I'm doing the right thing by reading the room or noticing people's reactions non-verbally. I don't have difficulty with recognising and understanding non-verbal behaviours.

 

[Levitator]

With me I can generally tell if I'm doing the right thing by reading the room or noticing people's reactions non-verbally. I don't have difficulty with recognising and understanding non-verbal behaviours.

I think I can nominally read people, too. I know what "sad", and "angry", and "happy" are. But I don't understand the humor in "Friends" one iota. It often, often, catches me by surprise that someone is going to turn around and walk out on me, or denounce me, or deny me service, as happened attempting to rent an apartment not two weeks ago. So, can I read people? It's apparent that the answer is both yes and no, but there's enough "no" that it causes problems.

Psychiatry posits that a diagnosis has to be justified by some problem or difficulty that it causes, so why were you diagnosed?

 

[Misty Avich]

I think I can nominally read people, too. I know what "sad", and "angry", and "happy" are. But I don't understand the humor in "Friends" one iota. It often, often, catches me by surprise that someone is going to turn around and walk out on me, or denounce me, or deny me service, as happened attempting to rent an apartment not two weeks ago. So, can I read people? It's apparent that the answer is both yes and no, but there's enough "no" that it causes problems.

Psychiatry posits that a diagnosis has to be justified by some problem or difficulty that it causes, so why were you diagnosed?

I don't know. I had anxiety disorder as a child and I guess that made me seem to have autistic-like behaviours I guess. So the social services wouldn't leave me or my parents alone until I was diagnosed with Asperger's.

 

[Levitator]

I don't know. I had anxiety disorder as a child and I guess that made me seem to have autistic-like behaviours I guess. So the social services wouldn't leave me or my parents alone until I was diagnosed with Asperger's.

It's strange that they would be pushy about it, but it's possible that your anxiety, in turn, comes from social failures, or that it detracts from your social success, and again, you're not going to notice things you've never had. I wouldn't know for certain, but I point out, by analogy, that I have read that most deaf people have some degree of hearing, but they are still functionally deaf, and they wouldn't know what it's like to be able to hear normally.

I have tremendous social deficits, and I was very hard-headed to the point where it took over a decade for me to accept it has to be traits I carry around with me. I'm not sure exactly what it is that people see, but I'm more curious than ever, and i try to keep an open mind.

 

[Misty Avich]

People generally see me as shy or low IQ, or quirky or forgetful. I just know by their very subtle reactions and behaviours towards me. It's nothing bad on their part, it's not offensive or anything, and people don't speak to me like I'm 3 years old or anything.
Instinct is very difficult to explain in words.

 

[Misty Avich]

It's strange that they would be pushy about it, but it's possible that your anxiety, in turn, comes from social failures, or that it detracts from your social success, and again, you're not going to notice things you've never had. I wouldn't know for certain, but I point out, by analogy, that I have read that most deaf people have some degree of hearing, but they are still functionally deaf, and they wouldn't know what it's like to be able to hear normally.

My mother was NT but had anxiety disorder, so I think it rubbed off on me. A lot of small children feel anxious or frightened when they start school (in the UK we officially start school at 4). I felt anxious and frightened for the same reasons the average child would, but expressed it more intensely than the average child. So I guess that out of character behaviour drew concerns and attention from the teacher and my parents (when my parents found out from the school, as they weren't expecting me to be like that, due to the way I spent my first 4 years of life developing typically without any peculiar behaviours or delays).

 

[Levitator]

People generally see me as shy or low IQ, or quirky or forgetful. I just know by their very subtle reactions and behaviours towards me. It's nothing bad on their part, it's not offensive or anything, and people don't speak to me like I'm 3 years old or anything.
Instinct is very difficult to explain in words.

I'm recording myself playing music right now, and what I see is that my face is uncoordinated, and I speak with my mouth closed after decades of being told I'm stupid or "retarded", and that makes me look like an angry old man, so now I look stupid and angry. There's a start at introspection. The angry old man part, I can work at. It's like undoing a bunch of damage just to get down to the part people thought was offputting in the first place, but it's still improvement.

 

[Levitator]

I'm recording myself playing music right now, and what I see is that my face is uncoordinated, and I speak with my mouth closed after decades of being told I'm stupid or "retarded", and that makes me look like an angry old man, so now I look stupid and angry. There's a start at introspection. The angry old man part, I can work at. It's like undoing a bunch of damage just to get down to the part people thought was offputting in the first place, but it's still improvement.

And the other thing is that after all this conditioning to make me suppress my emotions, then I'm sure that people think I'm scary because I come off as unfeeling. I actually feel a lot, but what I feel is repressed by the behavior of monsters, so let's blame the wrong person for being repressed and unfeeling.

 

[Misty Avich]

I've never been able to suppress emotions well, but that's probably due to ADHD.

 

[Levitator]

I've never been able to suppress emotions well, but that's probably due to ADHD.

I tend to be an all-or-nothing person, and I tend to present as a blank slate because I've been taught again, and again, and again, and again, that when I'm happy, I'm a faggot, and when I'm not happy, I'm a downer and a bad vibe. At a certain point, you have to be stronger than people's nonsense, and let self-acceptance take precedent.