Is this Aspie behavior?

[carry]

I am ashamed that yes I am like this too! The reason for shame? Because my English is pretty bad actually and it is thanks to spell check, that I get away with it, but for me, it is the little letters I get stuck on and so, really, who am I to judge?!

I never correct anyone physically, but if they could read my mind, ones probably wouldn't even speak around me lol

yes, I know the urge to correct people, too. I am a teacher with a degree. Now I cannot work. I really never thought of my urge to correct as an Aspie feature, thanks for enlightening me.

 

[CaveDweller]

Fellow Aspies--what do you think? I have, all my life, had to struggle to control myself because I want to correct all grammar errors, mispronunciations, poor phrasing and punctuation errors. I am in real distress to hear mispronunciations like puNkin for pumPkin, FebUary instead of FebRuary, HOlloween instead of HAlloween, etc. I could go on forever. I can't control myself and often shudder or gasp when I hear or read errors in standard English. I am extremely judgmental of people who aren't meticulous in all things grammar. At the age of 71 it has just occurred to me that as an Aspie I want everything to be precise. I like rules and always try to comply, and I can't fathom why so many people are careless about grammar, spelling, pronunciation and punctuation. I recently realized that as an Aspie, my insistence upon correct use of the English language is somewhat like placing small items in rows or categories. Everything has to be controlled and correct. Does anyone agree with my self diagnosis? Thanks.
Nancy

I have the same problem with my wording when it comes to writing. It doesn't bother me in others, just myself. Also things like the '10 items or less' signs, which should read 'Fewer'. It annoys me.

 

[Aspieistj]

I am an Aspie and often fail to communicate comfortably with anyone--NT or Aspie. My disclosure that I am terribly judgmental was a confession of what I believe to be my Aspieness. I am judgmental because I want other people to be like me and they seldom are. Living as an Aspie for 71 years means I've been hurt many times over for being myself. I wish I had asked people who could admit their grammar and spelling were atrocious why they don't care. I think we all like to know we have done something well but it seems that correct English is not high on the list for some people. My only motivation for beginning this thread was because I was wondering WHY I do care so much about correct American English. Maybe if I learned why so many people don't care to be precise when speaking and writing I could better understand myself. What has made me this way? I don't care anything about sports, small talk, being in the "right" group, etc. I am as quirky as the rest of the AS population. I simply, mistakenly, believed the majority of Aspies would think and feel like me.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I am an Aspie and often fail to communicate comfortably with anyone--NT or Aspie. My disclosure that I am terribly judgmental was a confession of what I believe to be my Aspieness. I am judgmental because I want other people to be like me and they seldom are. Living as an Aspie for 71 years means I've been hurt many times over for being myself. I wish I had asked people who could admit their grammar and spelling were atrocious why they don't care. I think we all like to know we have done something well but it seems that correct English is not high on the list for some people. My only motivation for beginning this thread was because I was wondering WHY I do care so much about correct American English. Maybe if I learned why so many people don't care to be precise when speaking and writing I could better understand myself. What has made me this way? I don't care anything about sports, small talk, being in the "right" group, etc. I am as quirky as the rest of the AS population. I simply, mistakenly, believed the majority of Aspies would think and feel like me.

You say you correct people because you want them to "be like you". Something tells me that it's probably not just correcting people's grammar and spelling errors. I bet you also try to correct people in other ways as well.

It's really quite simple. People don't like being judged by others. Kind of like how some here are judging you about how you shouldn't be so judgmental and you're taking offense by saying they don't care about their grammar. Have you not read the posts about how some here have different learning abilities? This is definitely not the site to be critiquing people's grammar and spelling.

By the way, it's not just an Aspie behavior to notice spelling errors - I notice things like that all the time. Noticing the errors isn't the problem - it's knowing when to tell someone about it and when you should let it go.

PS: I read over my post several times checking for errors, so if you find any I don't want to know about it because right now - I really don't care, tbh. I have other stressors in my life I need to attend to that are more important.

 

[Christopher Nicholson]

Ok, this is my last post. Read some articles about temporal and frontal lope development and autism.

The asperger's syndrome tests that I went thru showed I had issues with this area of my brain.

Autism is characterized with impaired verbal communication.

You love the English language alot, robot version. I happen to love the human expression of it. There was a young women I worked with who mispronounced a word and it was so cute. I used to make her say it all the time. Variations of how we speak is what makes us different. In a formal setting that requires being a professional.

This is why I am so sensitive to this post. It's the fact autism is marked by verbal impairment.

I am not saying you do not have asperger's, however, your insistence pursuit of relating perfection of the English language and asperger's is flawed at its very root.

You have been bless by perfect speaking abilities, I susbsitute words all the time because I can't say them

Like subsequent. I hate that word. By myself I can say it, add a person I cant. I use follow-up, as in follow-up letters.

College and collage. Look the same sound the same to me. Damn funny g.

Whoever invented English needs to go back to 1700's where my kind of people where around. Sounded ot out and that's how they spelled it. I could of been somebody!

 

[Aspieistj]

Oh Lord! I am very aware that AS people often have learning disabilities and I apologize profusely for offending any of them. I would NEVER be mean to anyone with a learning disability and I used to teach music to special needs children, including several with Down Syndrome. It never occurred to me that anyone with a disability would think I was talking about them. My assumption was that I was speaking about those with normal intelligence and no neurological handicap like Dyslexia. I am mortified at my insensitive behavior and just assumed it would be realized I was criticizing people who had the ability to learn correct English but simply didn't care to internalize the discipline of applying all the rules to grammar and spelling. I am sincerely sorry if anyone with a disability took offense and I am now going to shut my mouth and sign off. I honestly feel terrible for offending anyone who is challenged in language development. I think, because I was never in such a position, I lost track of people on the spectrum who had difficulty with language development. Please, if you can, forgive me. I am in tears.
Nancy

 

[SignOfLazarus]

Yeah the thing here is that there seem to be people hurt because they are really demonstrating pretty typical signs of AS, honestly, though very different ones. They seem to be sharing difficulty in seeing other perspective so it seems like each is feeling hurt or dissappointed or some other negative feeling.

I'm not going to try to interpret who is specifically saying what because obviously I'm not those people.

What I do think i see here is a lot of missteps in communication and perhaps assumption because of anxiety and fear brought on by previous situations.

Example: There is a thread on the board talking about adults with aspergers who like sitting on the floor. The impression could be that there is a suggestion that floor sitting is an asperger's thing and only people with asperger's sit on the floor or you have to sit on the floor to have asperger's.

Buuuut, maybe the person posting the thread was saying that they hav asperger's and like sitting on the floor and were trying to see if there was anyone similar. If someone else's ass hurts from sitting on the floor it doesn't exclude them from participating in the thread [and actually my tailbone was busted a long time ago so I have trouble sitting as much and kind of like laying, kind of melting]. It's also not a direct criticism of people who can't sit on the floor or who like laying on the floor or standing or who necessitate the use of wheelchairs.

Wording can get complicated, as repeatedly demonstrated in this thread. If I admitted to half the things that irritate the piss out of me but didn't actually act upon, I would be really just talking about how judgemental a person I am in my own mind.

Cause I am. Extremely judgmental in my own mind- but we take those things and lay them out and see if they are valid or not. We examine them and I feel like there needs to be room to talk about our thoughts but it's different than how we actually treat people. Sometimes in discussing them wires get crossed.

To be clear?
I don't think anyone is "in the wrong" here, so don't please dont assign that to me- just as like, pre-emptive "no seriously everyone is FINE!"

i really think people got hurt here because there has been massive miscommunication from what I've read- thus far, and it's unfourtunate because I've seen other posts. I think it would be hard for me to try to interpret specific posts from parties other than myself though because that might just confuse the situation.

ANYWAY- going to stop shoving my nose in. I hope people can kind of maybe step away for a bit and revisit the topic.

<3

eta:
ha. and yeah I edited this like five times already- I SWEAR not to make a point, just because it's almost 4 in the morning.

 

[carry]

You say you correct people because you want them to "be like you". Something tells me that it's probably not just correcting people's grammar and spelling errors. I bet you also try to correct people in other ways as well.

It's really quite simple. People don't like being judged by others. Kind of like how some here are judging you about how you shouldn't be so judgmental and you're taking offense by saying they don't care about their grammar. Have you not read the posts about how some here have different learning abilities? This is definitely not the site to be critiquing people's grammar and spelling.

By the way, it's not just an Aspie behavior to notice spelling errors - I notice things like that all the time. Noticing the errors isn't the problem - it's knowing when to tell someone about it and when you should let it go.

PS: I read over my post several times checking for errors, so if you find any I don't want to know about it because right now - I really don't care, tbh. I have other stressors in my life I need to attend to that are more important.

Yes the urge to control others if only in their spelling is omnipresent. It might be a way of precieving others. It might be an expected way things ought to be. A mental glimpse how things were and how to continue them this way. The urge to have surroundings the same way, not changing. Or it might be a mirror of the self, lived out in others. Meaning a standard of perfection for the self.

 

[CaveDweller]

I completely agree with the Lazarus post here. I do think it's important not to misinterpret people reaching out to be heard or to have their personal problems acknowledged. This is particularly true of people who may struggle in social situations and seek this from people in a similar boat who they would expect to have some empathy. I am basing this on my own experience of coming on here last year as undiagnosed and ever so slightly up the wall.

By the way, it's interesting to read that sitting on the floor is common. I have always done this (as I am now) but never even considered this to be a trait.

 

[carry]

Oh Lord! I am very aware that AS people often have learning disabilities and I apologize profusely for offending any of them. I would NEVER be mean to anyone with a learning disability and I used to teach music to special needs children, including several with Down Syndrome. It never occurred to me that anyone with a disability would think I was talking about them. My assumption was that I was speaking about those with normal intelligence and no neurological handicap like Dyslexia. I am mortified at my insensitive behavior and just assumed it would be realized I was criticizing people who had the ability to learn correct English but simply didn't care to internalize the discipline of applying all the rules to grammar and spelling. I am sincerely sorry if anyone with a disability took offense and I am now going to shut my mouth and sign off. I honestly feel terrible for offending anyone who is challenged in language development. I think, because I was never in such a position, I lost track of people on the spectrum who had difficulty with language development. Please, if you can, forgive me. I am in tears.
Nancy

Nancy, your message is very empathetic. Yes, I agree, if we cannot see the shortcomings of others and always dwell on our own, then we miss out on life. It is this realization that makes all the difference. Thank you.

 

[On the Inside]

I think that what gets lost in our understanding of language is that it is a naturally evolved means of communication. All the rules, structures, vocabulary, etc. arose from the grunts and groans of our long lost ancestors. While there might be a right and wrong in an institutional context, informal interpersonal communication (which I consider forums like this to be) are really just ways for a group of people to share experiences, information and support, among other things. So lets relax, listen and tell.

 

[fredvizsla]

In fact since joining this website I have found that I really have nothing in common with people here.

I have a diagnosis of asperger's, over 2 years worth of testing , several months of dedicated testing and a life time of being different.

I am not married, no kids, no friends, I don't go out at all. I even tried to "go out" this weekend and the end result was to my overly priced hotel room and wondered why in God's name people can stand living in a city or want to visit there.

Maybe you do have much in common with people here, but it's difficult to identify from a few threads. One thing that a lot of Aspies are unaware of, is that they are visual learners/ processors which really differentiates how we perceive reality and is the source of what neurotypicals misidentify as being "abnormal." I write a blog that focuses on mistakes and myths about Asperger behavior, especially how visual thinking explains many "symptoms."
Aspergerhuman.wordpress.com

 

[carry]

I know better than to correct people unless they are my kids or someone I feel would prefer to be corrected. I was an RN in the 70's when there was a strong movement to raise the basic preparation for an RN to that of a BSN. I was originally a teacher and had a BS in Education but jumped at the chance to get an AAS and become an RN when I couldn't find a job teaching vocal and instrumental music. I was getting a divorce and needed a decent job and quickly got the AAS in Nursing and a job. However, every Nursing journal I read pushed for a minimum entrance to an RN license to become the BSN. Hospitals were beginning to pay more for advanced degrees. I totally agreed. I earned a BS in Health Education, a BS in Nursing and then, an MS in Nursing Administration. Far too many Diploma and AAS nurses declared that they didn't need any further education and that upset me because Nursing knowledge is complicated and grows constantly. Since everyone I worked with knew I was constantly going to school and getting extremely good grades, some nurses began to ask me for help. Most were terrified about going back to college. I frequently offered to mentor anyone who was uncomfortable about moving into the computer generation and the enormous amount of required writing involved in nursing degrees. I had written two Master's theses and survived is spite of being a very poor typist. I found that most profs required a very high level of professionalism in any written work and that research was a big part of getting the BS and MS in Nursing. Many returning students had never been held to such high standards and floundered. I never did anyone's work for them but I did very carefully proofread any time they asked me to. I helped them to accept and conform to whatever writing style the college required, and some were very demanding. I received some very gratifying appreciation from nurses who completed advanced degrees and told me they couldn't have done it without my help. I love to teach. I remain a terrible speller and am very grateful for the spell checker. However, the spell checker didn't spare me any embarrassment when I turned in a paper in which I had written thirty tears ago instead of thirty years! I feel the same way about grammar as I do about using proper table manners. It is simply a way for me to avoid making someone think I am a fool or bumpkin.

Nancy, BS ED., AAS Nursing, MS Heatth Ed., MS Nursing Administration, and RNC, Nurse Generalist

Education is the peg on which the poor man hangs his pride. Author unknown.

I love it! Education being the peg on which a poor man hangs his pride. What hangs on the peg of a rich man?

 

[Shawn D]

I love it! Education being the peg on which a poor man hangs his pride. What hangs on the peg of a rich man?

His tuxedo?