In need of advice and guidance.

[Kristen123456]

Anyone have any suggestions working with children. My nephew goes for testing in a month or so, and I recently started babysitting him on the regular. We are not sure of where he stands, but he shows signs of autism. I mean no harm with anything I say, I am new to all of this and very much open to suggestions in any manner.

Anyway, he has had zero discipline and structure in his previous two years. He does not talk with the exception of momma, dada, and no. He grunts and points to get his way. When he doesn’t like what you are saying he puts his fingers into ears or his hands over his eyes and refuses to interact any further. He loves to touch. After he feels a new object he does clicking thing with his mouth, repetively blinks and does a open close gesture with his hands. He then repeats this until he is satisfied with the new feel.

Where I need assistance is communicating with my nephew. He is very bright, but there seems to be a disconnect.

 

[tree]

How old is he?

 

[Kristen123456]

2, will be 3 in January

 

[Pats]

Sounds like you're going to have your hands full. Whoever is doing the testing should also give some guidelines and suggestions in communicating with him. Make sure his parents pass along the information they get.

 

[Judge]

What has been posted just doesn't strike me as anywhere near enough to even offer a question of autism. Especially for a toddler. Though it's good to hear he's going to be medically evaluated in the near future. I wouldn't consider doing much of anything until they get a real understanding of what his issues actually may be.

 

[Kristen123456]

I would agree with yiu

What has been posted just doesn't strike me as anywhere near enough to even offer a question of autism. Especially for a toddler. Though it's good to hear he's going to be medically evaluated in the near future. I wouldn't consider doing much of anything until they get a real understanding of what his issues actually may be.

if it weren’t for concerns from many doctors to have him tested. I would consider it lack of parenting. But he does display many signs. Aggression when you enter his personal space. The nonverbal. Delayed development with motor function. Specific need for touch. Refusal of certain textures. My post may be vague, but again the concern and possibility comes straight from pediatricians.

 

[Judge]

I would agree with yiu

if it weren’t for concerns from many doctors to have him tested. I would consider it lack of parenting. But he does display many signs. Aggression when you enter his personal space. The nonverbal. Delayed development with motor function. My post may be vague, but again the concern and possibility comes straight from pediatricians.

That's where he really needs to be examined by specialists. Pediatricians blew right past my autism in the early 60s, and even a psychiatrist in the early 80s. Autism itself can be a very complex thing to be diagnosed, along with many other comorbid considerations.

 

[the_tortoise]

When he doesn’t like what you are saying he puts his fingers into ears or his hands over his eyes and refuses to interact any further.

How do you know that he does this because he doesn't like what you say?

What if he is confused and doesn't understand, and is trying to shut out more confusing input so he doesn't get overwhelmed?

Are you using a certian tone, volume, or pace (like talking very fast)? Certain tones or a raised voice could be literally painful to his ears, and a fast pace could be overwhelming him -- making it impossible to process your words.

If you are demanding a response and he understands but has trouble with speech, or using language to express himself, he may be doing this because he can't do what you want him to and all he can think to do is to try and express his desire to end the interaction -- or to opt out of it by insulating himself from it.

He may be bright but not understand what language is for in a general sense, and/or the mechanics of verbal interactions. (Or he may know the mechanics/what it is for in a few particular contexts, but not alll of them).

He may have good receptive language (understand what others say) but poor expressive language (can't come up with words to express himself).

He may have perfectly fine expressive and receptive language skills with oral motor dyspraxia that makes it extremely dififcult for him to actually speak any words he might think of and want to say.

Don't assume that just because he demonstrates a certain level of ability and understanding in one particular area of life or learning that it means he will have the same level of ability in all other areas.

Don't assume that it is a discipline problem or that he is just stubborn.

Try communicating with pictures and/or with gestures of your own, with demonstrations/by showing him what you mean or what you want.

 

[musicalman]

I pretty much echo everything people have said here.

I'm not a medical professional, but let me express my thoughts. I'd be careful about making assumptions. Children and people in general are complicated things. Autism is complicated also. It manifests differently in a lot of people. Trying to overprepare to understand it fully doesn't have much success; what is more important is getting to personally know someone, whether they have autism or not. Having knowledge of its existence and the generally accepted behaviors that come with it can certainly help, but don't fall into the trap of too much research, or believing the word of others over what you personally observe. Because like I said, it manifests differently in everyone and has a wide range of severity and symptoms.

There are common struggles that many people with autism share that you can read about in textbooks. It's good to have diagnostic criteria, but the common blanket stuff that applies to almost everyone who has been diagnosed with an ASD has little to do with real personality or capabilities.

I have a suspicion that I have Aspergers (essentially I think it is a type of autism), but I've never been diagnosed. Most people react in a big way when I share this with them, but I honestly don't think it needs to be a big shocker. Autism is just a label that helps people learn about the existance of some special needs and qwirks. The facts surrounding it aren't as concrete as a physical condition.

As an example, I am completely blind and most people can tell that by looking at me. An eye doctor can see my retinas are detached and therefore my eyes cannot see. But you can't tell just by looking at someone if they have autism. There's not a medical test for it. You can pick up on cues, and professionals know these cues well. But nobody can ever be sure. In fact from what I have heard, there is some debate over the actual diagnostic material for and definition of autism itself. So I don't believe fully in getting diagnosed, unless problems become severe enough to warrant professional advice. Don't get me wrong, I don't think a diagnosis is needless and that you or anyone else is wasting their time when they get one. It helps people understand that some atypical needs do exist. But if the situation is manageable enough without medical intervention, I would personally leave well enough alone.

Just a thought, at your nephew's age it may be a little early to tell. I exhibited many odd behaviors at his age, and wasn't talking and communicating my thoughts fluidly until I was 6 I think. I'm still behind in a lot of ways but I never got diagnosed with anything like autism. Overall I am doing all right, and the odd behaviors I had are gone. I don't even remember a lot of them. I do wonder what would've happened if I had been tested, but it's not too important to me now.

The important thing to remember is, if your nephew does test positive for autism, don't let it change what you see when you look at him. Autism is just a label that brings knowledge with it. Take the advice of the professionals, take advantage of resources, but try not to use autism as a blanket that defines who he is. Keep an open mind.
I wish you and your family the best of luck!