I feel like a fraud

[Progster]

Once again, thank you everyone. I have been having a very tough time lately, both mentally and emotionally. Your support means so much to me.

Though it makes me nervous, I think I have decided to get an assessment. It makes me terribly nervous though. Whenever I raise the issue with professionals I always feel like a fool, but I need to put it to put the question to rest.

Good luck with the diagnosis. It's not easy to go through, but it will be worth it for peace of mind.

I have a diagnosis, but I still worry about its validity because it was given on the basis of one interview, without any testing. I need to put my trust on the judgement of one psychiatrist that it is a correct diagnosis. But at least I have a professional opinion that I'm on the spectrum.

 

[royinpink]

You can be on the spectrum and be "nice."

The Asperger's description and diagnostic criteria have always been based on white males, specifically boys. If you do not belong to one or any of those categories, you are very likely to not match the stereotypical Asperger's characteristics (not that you must if you do!). Even if you did, we all have different traits to different degrees. Here is a list of "atypical" autism traits (actually it's Rudy Simone's list of female aspie traits rewritten in gender-neutral language). It's not a list of impairments but rather the signs or profile you might expect from someone with ASD but not white, male, child, etc.

Karin mentioned PDD-NOS...a lot of females ended up with this label or Pathological Demand Avoidance rather than Asperger's, or no autism spectrum diagnosis at all.

 

[Dave-V]

I was in a very similar place to you - certain I ticked many of the boxes yet conscious I lacked many of the common experiences. Eventually I pursued a diagnosis, which was confirmed only four weeks ago.

Although it was the result I wanted, I still felt like a fraud, doubting the validity of the result. It's only now, having done a lot more research, that I'm beginning to accept the diagnosis.

I'm only now starting to appreciate that, even with a common diagnosis, we're all individuals, often with quite different experiences of Aspergers.

 

[Datura]

These have been very valuable perspectives. Thanks again.

Your words (and my return to meditation) have made me feel a lot less anxious about my situation. I won't lie, I am still nervous, but I believe I can move forward and come to accept the outcome, whatever it may be.

I have decided that if I come up with a negative diagnosis I will proudly embrace the label "NT", but in my case it would stand for "Not Typical". From a young age I came to realize that I did not think like most people, and likely never would. This comes with its share of frustrations (ie. having a hard time relating to people, confusing people because I seem inteligent but struggle with tasks they take for granted) but I am ultimately proud of who I am, even if it places me a bit on the fringe.

 

[Rudy Schmidt]

It's good that you're open to whatever happens. It can be a scary thought.

One thing to keep in mind is that it's a scale. Have you seen that pie chart with people's diagram of scores, with the NT in blue on the left and the diverse in red on the right? They say most NTs are mostly in the blue, and vice versa with Aspergers and autistic folks, but then there's my wife who identifies as NT, but has a little blob of diagram that straddles both colors equally. She's not autistic, but she has other neurological anomalies due to spina bifida.

Long story short, even if you turn out to not be technically autistic, you may well still not be fully NT. you could be off in a completely different direction. It might reassure you to keep in mind that it's a scale, and not an on-off switch. hope this helps you face whatever comes. And of course you're always welcome here, no matter what.