He knows that you gave her six boxes of food....and yet, what is he there to talk to you about? Does he tell you how nice it was of you to bring her that food? No. He's just there to tell you how he thinks you failed. (Just like my dad. He would always talk about the ways in which he thought I had failed, while ignoring any good things I had done).
Hmmmm ... actually you make a very good point.
To be fair to my department chair, I THINK he has decided for whatever reason, to "take me under his wing" and to be my NT "guide." I am wondering if his wife put him up to this. She used to work for our district as a special education teacher, so she probably knows (or think she knows) all about high performing autism and has (perhaps) suggested that her husband be my life coach or guide ... not that I ever requested one.
I have after all, been living on my own for ... my goodness ... it's been 33 years since I graduated with a bachelor's degree from Michigan ... and although I did not know until fairly recently that I had Asperger's, I apparently managed to develop the coping skills needed to get through most of this time.
I must admit that it hasn't helped that we haven't always seen eye to eye.
For example, my predecessor was supposed to have established a CTSO, a career trade student organization like SkillsUSA or FCCLA ... an extracurricular student run organization designed to organize students to participate in competitive Culinary Arts teams for the purpose of winning regional, state, national, and even national competitions along with scholarships.
Since I am starting up this group from scratch, I have no prior members and there is no history or tradition of a CTSO at this school. I also have no funds for transportation, food supplies, state membership dues etc.
The department chair recently offered to "sponsor me" so that I could enter a competitive teacher & student basketball team in a competition that's being sponsored by the student government. If I were to accept this offer, I would have to actually captain a team of culinary students.
I told Joseph, the department chair, that I didn't know anything about basketball and that I had no interest in sports.
"But this would be an opportunity for you to bond," he told me.
I raised an eyebrow. "Bond? With whom?"
"With your students."
I grumbled. "I don't need to bond with my students by playing basketball. I'm a chef instructor. I work in a kitchen, not a basketball court. Instead of leading them onto a basketball court, I led my 2nd period class in the production of 17 taco salad lunches for the faculty and staff. The teacher lunch sales generated $85 in gross profit and helped to largely offset the food costs for my level II students. We made our own chili. We made our salsa (see below left). We set up an assembly line production system to create 26 lunches (which included meals for each of my level II students) and the students learned how to use portion control tools to plate all of these meals."
"And that was good," said Joseph, "But don't you think it would be fun to do something different than to always be in the kitchen?"
I eyed the department chair. "You do realize that I'm autistic, don't you?"
He nodded.
"I have no interest in sports and I am not interested in bonding. I'm a chef instructor. I teach students how to cook, bake, and how to keep a clean kitchen. I teach them food safety and sanitation. I teach them portion control, menu design, and production costing. I lead a student kitchen crew in the production of meals to sell to faculty and staff to offset our food costs. I do not play basketball and I have no interest in sports. While I understand the concept of bonding, I am their chef instructor, not their friend. Although I would prefer to be on friendly terms with my students at the end of the day, I still have to run my kitchen and where I lead, my kitchen crew follows."
Joseph smiled and scratched his beard. "So is that a 'no' to my offer of sponsorship? I'll gladly pay the $8 entry fee."
I shook my head and walked away.
"Why don't you think about it?" called the department chair.
"I already have. The answer is NO!"
His laughter followed me down the hall. I do not understand why this amused him.
** sigh **