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How would you have undestood this text?

Suzanne

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Karaoke - find a love song on youtube with words to sing.

It was the first part that I interpreted: find a love song but thought: wow there are many and others may not like my choice etc etc ( the texter's 35 wedding anniversary).

My husband insisted she meant more than one. I argued, sadly, that if she meant more, she would have said, and, so to stop our argument, I text her and asked her what she meant. She replies: One or two or more if you want!!!!!

My husband gets insulting and says that can't I spread my brain? He then said: if you listen to me, then you can get the neurotypical which is the right one and then said: well combine your aspergers brain with mine typical one ( he was not being kind) and worse of all, I am not even allowed to breath this word: neurotypical, to him, for he finds it an insult and thus, I do not.

I feel frustrated and think: why couldn't she just say what she meant; surely if she meant as many songs as you want, she could have said that?! It makes me out to be an idiot because I took her literally. Not funny on this occasion!
 
Harrison said:
I would have chosen one song, but then I'd also divorce anyone that treated me like that.
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Don't tempt me lol ie divorce!

The worst part is that my husband thought I was being really unreasonable and said: it is OBVIOUS what she meant!!!!! He said: why couldn't you just take my word for it? I cannot rightly explain why I couldn't, but perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I was sure I was correct; I honestly could not interpret it in any other way, than I did!
 
Hey Suzanne, I'd have chosen one song too, maybe a second as a backup to be suggested only if the first wasn't accepted.
I feel sad when I read your posts about how your husband is with you sometimes - I know your Faith means that you must practice tolerance and understanding and that is a good thing.. I hope it's reciprocal :rose:
 
Spiller said:
Hey Suzanne, I'd have chosen one song too, maybe a second as a backup to be suggested only if the first wasn't accepted.
I feel sad when I read your posts about how your husband is with you sometimes - I know your Faith means that you must practice tolerance and understanding and that is a good thing.. I hope it's reciprocal :rose:
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Yes, it is a good thing, Spiller, but boy can it be hard lol He is learning little by little, but just hates it when I disagree with him and takes it as a personal insult
 
Pretty clear to me that it means one song. If they meant more, there are many other wordings they could have used. But its not a big issue.
 
Suzanne said:
Yes, it is a good thing, Spiller, but boy can it be hard lol He is learning little by little, but just hates it when I disagree with him and takes it as a personal insult
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Does your Faith allow hitting him very hard until he accepts your POV? ;)
 
Suzanne I too feel sad when you report this kind of treatment from your husband. No matter who talked to me like that, it would mean a wall of protection was needed, which is a serious obstruction if it is comcerns a spouse.
 
Ha! The teacher in me is getting out her red pen and making corrections, because there are a couple of things wrong with that sentence. It's very badly worded.

Firstly, the use of the indefinite article "a" indicates, as others have pointed out, a singular form; that is just one song should be selected. If the author wished the wedding guests to choose more than one song, then she should have used the plural form: "love songs". I would most certainly have understood only one song, because that's what the text says. For me, there's no other possible interpretation.

Secondly, and this is the thing that really bothered me the most, she writes "a love song... with words to sing" The Oxford dictionary definition of "song" is "a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung" So, by definition, a song must have words. It's superflous to mention that the song should have words to sing, and makes no sense to do so.

From the context of it being a karaoke session, I guess she means that the love song should be accompanied by the lyrics, or should be a karaoke or sing-along version of the song (instrumental version with on-screen lyrics).

So, my red pen has done its work, and I've come up with an ASD-friendly version of the text:

"Karaoke session - find one or more love songs on Youtube accompanied by on-screen lyrics."
 
kestrel said:
Suzanne I too feel sad when you report this kind of treatment from your husband. No matter who talked to me like that, it would mean a wall of protection was needed, which is a serious obstruction if it is comcerns a spouse.
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I agree, Kestrel. He just
Progster said:
Ha! The teacher in me is getting out her red pen and making corrections, because there are a couple of things wrong with that sentence. It's very badly worded.

Firstly, the use of the indefinite article "a" indicates, as others have pointed out, a singular form; that is just one song should be selected. If the author wished the wedding guests to choose more than one song, then she should have used the plural form: "love songs". I would most certainly have understood only one song, because that's what the text says. For me, there's no other possible interpretation.

Secondly, and this is the thing that really bothered me the most, she writes "a love song... with words to sing" The Oxford dictionary definition of "song" is "a short poem or other set of words set to music or meant to be sung" So, by definition, a song must have words. It's superflous to mention that the song should have words to sing, and makes no sense to do so.

From the context of it being a karaoke session, I guess she means that the love song should be accompanied by the lyrics, or should be a karaoke or sing-along version of the song (instrumental version with on-screen lyrics).

So, my red pen has done its work, and I've come up with an ASD-friendly version of the text:

"Karaoke session - find one or more love songs on Youtube accompanied by on-screen lyrics."
Click to expand...

I am not a teacher, but goodness me, my red marker pen, was itching to come out too lol

I have just texted another neurotypical, to ask him the same question. I just cannot believe this is me being: aspie!
 
zurb said:
Pretty clear to me that it means one song. If they meant more, there are many other wordings they could have used. But its not a big issue.
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I agree it is not a big issue and funnily enough, that is what my husband said and I am thinking: but surely all you had to do is just laugh about it and say: well text her and find out? Rather than argue that the point, which in turn, made me argue the point!

Stupid, stupid row!
 
The person who wrote "Karaoke - find a love song on youtube with words to sing."
may have been thinking of the instance of finding a song. Not a process of searching for songs. Just having
the experience of 'aha...a song.' Which might be repeated, but each time it would be just the one
choice, one unique encounter.

And was writing casually, anyway.
 
angryclubsmiley-1.gif~c200
spank.gif


"Say hello to my point of view!"
 
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I chose divorce after 11 years of psychological abuse and I don't know what you are waiting for! As for the writer's choice of words, "I mean what I say and I say what I mean." She said A song and A is singular. Why would you be expected to think otherwise? NTs are known to be very nonspecific and we, the bad guys, are expected to parse what is said in the voice of an NT. I am not, nor will I ever be, an NT! My father used to tell a story about a military man who called out an order, "Fire on the count of 3." Well, the troops heard the word fire and guess what?????? In my opinion, an awful lot of NTs need more fixing than we poor abused Aspies. :) Seriously, if your husband knows you have AS why can't he, in his superiority, realize YOU can't be changed? I try to remember how convoluted most peoples' speech is but I am an Aspie and not a genius. You did the correct thing and asked for clarification.
 
I am very, very NT, if my quiz results are any indication, and I would have 100% interpreted this as soliciting ONE song.

I have no idea what your husband was thinking, but the grammar in the sentence (while questionable, as Progster pointed out) is clear in this regard.

I would also add that it seems unreasonable to me that your husband would get so worked up over this. Even if the texter meant multiple songs, what's the big deal?!
 
I would have found one love song with lyrics on the screen on YouTube. The message said to do exactly that. "With words to sing" means the song must have the lyrics with it, and because YouTube was specified, those words need to be on the screen as the song plays since that is the only way such a son would be presented on YouTube.
 
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