How would you have undestood this text?

[SignOfLazarus]

I'm sorry Suzanne, but your husband is just generally wrong in interactions you report between the two of you. His [inappropriate and horribly expressed] frustration probably has nothing to do with NT vs Aspie stuff.

It's something he seems to have latched onto so he can offer an excuse for the way he treats you. It's not reasonable, ok, respectful, fair or really humane.
He kind of doesn't know what he's talking about, most of the time, unless it's regarding his misplaced and unkind general pissiness with you. And that's not about you, that's about him- issues he has.

And yeah, he's wrong here.

Take care of yourself. <3

 

[Suzanne]

Thanks all so much!! I thought that this was not just an aspie thing. I think my husband was being very contrary with me, which I really hate and why, I could not agree with him!

 

[qwerty]

I'm sorry Suzanne, but your husband is just generally wrong in interactions you report between the two of you. His [inappropriate and horribly expressed] frustration probably has nothing to do with NT vs Aspie stuff.

It's something he seems to have latched onto so he can offer an excuse for the way he treats you. It's not reasonable, ok, respectful, fair or really humane.
He kind of doesn't know what he's talking about, most of the time, unless it's regarding his misplaced and unkind general pissiness with you. And that's not about you, that's about him- issues he has.

And yeah, he's wrong here.

Take care of yourself. <3

^^^^
This, Lazz has a knack for seeing through to the real issue.

 

[Beverly]

Suzanne I had an ex who was very contrary with me. At the time I had not figured out that I am on the spectrum but, he used my tenancies to take everything literally and to see things in simple, yes/no, right/wrong, black/white terms against me.

He constantly blamed thing my parents taught me and told me to forget what I knew but then, when I asked him what I should replace that knowledge with, he would fly off the handle and tell me I should be smart enough to figure it out for myself. So I'd invent a new way to do something, different form the way I knew worked for me. He would then get angry because my new way was not efficient enough or, was not how everyone else did whatever it was. I would then change again and do as he said, then I was wrong for not thinking for myself and, just doing what someone told me to do.

It didn't take me very long to learn that I had made a bad choice and, placed myself in an abusive relationship, with a very manipulative and, cruel man. I left with only one change of clothes in a day pack. I had friends he knew nothing of, and a week later I was able to get legal assistance to get into the house and recover my belongings. I took him to court for the damaged or destroyed items that I lost because of him and, won my case there.

Just because we are different does not mean we are stupid or, that we deserve to be disrespected, mistreated and manipulated. We are human beings, we deserve the same respect, care and concern any other human being deserves.

 

[Datura]

I agree with the others here that your husband is treating you very disrespectfully. If I were in you position I would not tolerate it, but then you are not me. I presume that your marriage is very important to you, for both emotional and religious reasons. You should at least seek out some counseling, be it from a couple's councilor or someone in your church. You need somebody to mediate and help you see eye to eye. If you're husband isn't willing to make an effort and meet you half way, that's his fault.

 

[Wireless]

I didn't really understand the second text either.
What do all those exclamation points mean?

 

[Datura]

I didn't really understand the second text either.
What do all those exclamation points mean?

I believe they indicate enthusiasm. Either that, or shouting really loud, which in this context I would also hope indicates enthusiasm.

In my oppinion the second text is not a confirmation of Suzane's husband's position, but rather states that her friend has fairly casual parameters, and that while she is only asking that each guest choose one song she is more than okay if they choose more.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

!!!!!!!!!! means Irrational exuberance, get excited, stop being so serious. Just suggest a song and stop thinking about it, because she isn't, and doesn't understand why you/we are. So not even worthy of a quarrel. However, I strongly suspect your husband's finding excuses to quarrel--and knows exactly where you're going to just fall into the trap again so that he can make the most of the opportunity.

 

[Wireless]

Thanks, Datura and Aspergirl4hire for explaining. I've received texts and emails in the past which have contained sentences with lots of !!!!! and never really understood what it was trying to convey.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

"Much sound and fury, signifying nothing" about sums it up. Cheers!

 

[Ylva]

Sounds like one song, or as she said, two or as many as you want, which could technically mean none, but let's assume you want to bring one. Maybe there is only time for one karaoke song anyway, so you could bring twenty and let her choose.

Your husband sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

 

[piney13]

one song and this would be the one (well at least today), it would be a warning ..

I do not care what someone else would think of my choice. I was asked and this is my choice.

A second choice would be "The thrill is gone" most likely by BB King...just because

 

[Dryope]

I would have panicked, not known what she wanted, and given her, like a dozen options.

There is no winning in these kind of things. You can read it literally or you can overload people like me.

For what it's worth, husbands can be mean sometimes (they can get sleepy, hungry, or otherwise cranky, just like anyone else). I hope this is just a one-off and not an example of his usual behavior.