Hello from the other side (Down Under)

[Fluffy]

Hi there,

I have been lurking in the shadows of a few Autism and Asperger's sites, researching (as I do) and I decided tonight to stop by and introduce myself. I'm in a lovely part of the world in South Australia. I have a love of animals and have 5 cats and a dog, hence "Fluffy".
At present I have self diagnosed Asperger's only, but I am seeing a psychologist for mental health conditions. I guess that's what has prompted me to step out of the shadows and post...

I'm having a difficult time of it tonight because I have a psychologist's appointment tomorrow and I am feeling rather nervous about it. I plan to brooch the topic of my self-diagnosis (which has occurred since my last visit which was over a month ago) with my psychologist and I am worried about being shot down in flames or told I'm over thinking it. My Dr doesn't like to label things, which I think is both very clever and very annoying. On the one hand she knows that I am sensitive and intelligent and will research (hence not labelling) but on the other hand, for me I NEED TO KNOW why it is that I always feel like I don't quite belong. I've felt that Depression and Anxiety have never quite been descriptive enough and last year I was diagnosed by a mental health clinician (not a psychologist) as having Borderline Personality Disorder or being somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've never actually been told which, but I have been on various medications which have proven to be very potent and unpleasant even in extremely low doses.

I have taken a number of online tests and all of them have indicated that I am well above the baseline for a diagnosis (usually quite high) of Asperger's however I am aware that quite a few of them are only intended to be taken under the guidance of a Dr.

I only stumbled upon my potential Aspie status by accident after calling a mental health hotline after a breakdown/meltdown one day. I was talking to the man on the other end about what I have been diagnosed with in the past so he could better understand how I was feeling and he mentioned that there have been quite a few incidences where people, particularly women, have been incorrectly diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder or other similar disorders. I thought it was an odd thing to say until I read a few posts on forums and blogs about the incidences where this has occurred and then I happened across checklists and Asperger's symptoms specific to women. That's when my life changed. My heart went from my boots to my head as I read off dot point after dot point of things I could relate to. A couple of things I read I thought I was the only one who has experienced it and it was validating in a way to know that there are others out there who have these same baffling symptoms and that there is a name for it. I guess I feel like it is the shoe that fits me the best so far and to be honest there's not a great deal for me to cling to right now so I need to know that I am still somewhat attached to reality in my self diagnosis. I feel like I could keep on writing and writing but I won't, lol.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards,
Fluffy

EDIT: I forgot to mention I also have a pet freshwater crayfish or "yabby" as they are known here. No, he's not fluffy, but he does have lovely long whiskers LOL.

 

[Nitro]

 

[toothless]

Hi there,

I have been lurking in the shadows of a few Autism and Asperger's sites, researching (as I do) and I decided tonight to stop by and introduce myself. I'm in a lovely part of the world in South Australia. I have a love of animals and have 5 cats and a dog, hence "Fluffy".
At present I have self diagnosed Asperger's only, but I am seeing a psychologist for mental health conditions. I guess that's what has prompted me to step out of the shadows and post...

I'm having a difficult time of it tonight because I have a psychologist's appointment tomorrow and I am feeling rather nervous about it. I plan to brooch the topic of my self-diagnosis (which has occurred since my last visit which was over a month ago) with my psychologist and I am worried about being shot down in flames or told I'm over thinking it. My Dr doesn't like to label things, which I think is both very clever and very annoying. On the one hand she knows that I am sensitive and intelligent and will research (hence not labelling) but on the other hand, for me I NEED TO KNOW why it is that I always feel like I don't quite belong. I've felt that Depression and Anxiety have never quite been descriptive enough and last year I was diagnosed by a mental health clinician (not a psychologist) as having Borderline Personality Disorder or being somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've never actually been told which, but I have been on various medications which have proven to be very potent and unpleasant even in extremely low doses.

I have taken a number of online tests and all of them have indicated that I am well above the baseline for a diagnosis (usually quite high) of Asperger's however I am aware that quite a few of them are only intended to be taken under the guidance of a Dr.

I only stumbled upon my potential Aspie status by accident after calling a mental health hotline after a breakdown/meltdown one day. I was talking to the man on the other end about what I have been diagnosed with in the past so he could better understand how I was feeling and he mentioned that there have been quite a few incidences where people, particularly women, have been incorrectly diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder or other similar disorders. I thought it was an odd thing to say until I read a few posts on forums and blogs about the incidences where this has occurred and then I happened across checklists and Asperger's symptoms specific to women. That's when my life changed. My heart went from my boots to my head as I read off dot point after dot point of things I could relate to. A couple of things I read I thought I was the only one who has experienced it and it was validating in a way to know that there are others out there who have these same baffling symptoms and that there is a name for it. I guess I feel like it is the shoe that fits me the best so far and to be honest there's not a great deal for me to cling to right now so I need to know that I am still somewhat attached to reality in my self diagnosis. I feel like I could keep on writing and writing but I won't, lol.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards,
Fluffy

EDIT: I forgot to mention I also have a pet freshwater crayfish or "yabby" as they are known here. No, he's not fluffy, but he does have lovely long whiskers LOL.

hi fluffy,welcome to AC.
if you are able to,put photos of your pets on the pets board,we all love kitties here,plus some passionate dog people to.

as for your cray fish,please get a photo of it!!! i think i have what you call a crayfish-perhaps its like a family name for them? its breed is a vampire shrimp,hes called beastie,is quite a large boy and lives in a empty coconut shell in the bottom of a 400 litre tropical fish tank.

i suggest writing down a lot of your developmental history now and how your life is now in terms of social skills,communication,thinking etc
this will help you when it comes to speaking to the pyschologist, you might forget things with the pyschologist so get it all written down, and it might make things easier mentioning the possibility of autism to her anyway.

 

[Streetwise]

Hi there,

I have been lurking in the shadows of a few Autism and Asperger's sites, researching (as I do) and I decided tonight to stop by and introduce myself. I'm in a lovely part of the world in South Australia. I have a love of animals and have 5 cats and a dog, hence "Fluffy".
At present I have self diagnosed Asperger's only, but I am seeing a psychologist for mental health conditions. I guess that's what has prompted me to step out of the shadows and post...

I'm having a difficult time of it tonight because I have a psychologist's appointment tomorrow and I am feeling rather nervous about it. I plan to brooch the topic of my self-diagnosis (which has occurred since my last visit which was over a month ago) with my psychologist and I am worried about being shot down in flames or told I'm over thinking it. My Dr doesn't like to label things, which I think is both very clever and very annoying. On the one hand she knows that I am sensitive and intelligent and will research (hence not labelling) but on the other hand, for me I NEED TO KNOW why it is that I always feel like I don't quite belong. I've felt that Depression and Anxiety have never quite been descriptive enough and last year I was diagnosed by a mental health clinician (not a psychologist) as having Borderline Personality Disorder or being somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've never actually been told which, but I have been on various medications which have proven to be very potent and unpleasant even in extremely low doses.

I have taken a number of online tests and all of them have indicated that I am well above the baseline for a diagnosis (usually quite high) of Asperger's however I am aware that quite a few of them are only intended to be taken under the guidance of a Dr.

I only stumbled upon my potential Aspie status by accident after calling a mental health hotline after a breakdown/meltdown one day. I was talking to the man on the other end about what I have been diagnosed with in the past so he could better understand how I was feeling and he mentioned that there have been quite a few incidences where people, particularly women, have been incorrectly diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder or other similar disorders. I thought it was an odd thing to say until I read a few posts on forums and blogs about the incidences where this has occurred and then I happened across checklists and Asperger's symptoms specific to women. That's when my life changed. My heart went from my boots to my head as I read off dot point after dot point of things I could relate to. A couple of things I read I thought I was the only one who has experienced it and it was validating in a way to know that there are others out there who have these same baffling symptoms and that there is a name for it. I guess I feel like it is the shoe that fits me the best so far and to be honest there's not a great deal for me to cling to right now so I need to know that I am still somewhat attached to reality in my self diagnosis. I feel like I could keep on writing and writing but I won't, lol.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards,
Fluffy

EDIT: I forgot to mention I also have a pet freshwater crayfish or "yabby" as they are known here. No, he's not fluffy, but he does have lovely long whiskers LOL.

please please please a picture of Your Yeah Be on for cats sorry five cats welcome

 

[Streetwise]

i hate my phone insert yabby instead of yeah be

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Warmheart]

Welcome, Fluffy! Please make yourself right at home here on AC. I hope your appointment went well.

 

[janie]

Hey Fluffy,

Warm hopes and good wishes things have gone/do go supportively and well at your appointment today.

Your post so aligns with the experiences and insights that led me to have to understand more about myself.

It also confirms how routinely women may be misdiagnosed or not fully diagnosed.

If you feel so led, please share an update about how things went.

Every indication you shared indicates it likely your profile includes autistic/aspie features.

Just on the other side of confirmation of my autistic profile, I am getting to know my features, make friends with my creatures, and get myself off the bleachers and more into the game.

I hope you learn information enables you to harness a kinder and more global picture of your design.

It is you, one of a kind, and a masterpiece.

No expert can credential
or letters can detract
from the goodness of your youness.

Hi there,

I have been lurking in the shadows of a few Autism and Asperger's sites, researching (as I do) and I decided tonight to stop by and introduce myself. I'm in a lovely part of the world in South Australia. I have a love of animals and have 5 cats and a dog, hence "Fluffy".
At present I have self diagnosed Asperger's only, but I am seeing a psychologist for mental health conditions. I guess that's what has prompted me to step out of the shadows and post...

I'm having a difficult time of it tonight because I have a psychologist's appointment tomorrow and I am feeling rather nervous about it. I plan to brooch the topic of my self-diagnosis (which has occurred since my last visit which was over a month ago) with my psychologist and I am worried about being shot down in flames or told I'm over thinking it. My Dr doesn't like to label things, which I think is both very clever and very annoying. On the one hand she knows that I am sensitive and intelligent and will research (hence not labelling) but on the other hand, for me I NEED TO KNOW why it is that I always feel like I don't quite belong. I've felt that Depression and Anxiety have never quite been descriptive enough and last year I was diagnosed by a mental health clinician (not a psychologist) as having Borderline Personality Disorder or being somewhere on the Bipolar spectrum. I've never actually been told which, but I have been on various medications which have proven to be very potent and unpleasant even in extremely low doses.

I have taken a number of online tests and all of them have indicated that I am well above the baseline for a diagnosis (usually quite high) of Asperger's however I am aware that quite a few of them are only intended to be taken under the guidance of a Dr.

I only stumbled upon my potential Aspie status by accident after calling a mental health hotline after a breakdown/meltdown one day. I was talking to the man on the other end about what I have been diagnosed with in the past so he could better understand how I was feeling and he mentioned that there have been quite a few incidences where people, particularly women, have been incorrectly diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder or other similar disorders. I thought it was an odd thing to say until I read a few posts on forums and blogs about the incidences where this has occurred and then I happened across checklists and Asperger's symptoms specific to women. That's when my life changed. My heart went from my boots to my head as I read off dot point after dot point of things I could relate to. A couple of things I read I thought I was the only one who has experienced it and it was validating in a way to know that there are others out there who have these same baffling symptoms and that there is a name for it. I guess I feel like it is the shoe that fits me the best so far and to be honest there's not a great deal for me to cling to right now so I need to know that I am still somewhat attached to reality in my self diagnosis. I feel like I could keep on writing and writing but I won't, lol.

Look forward to seeing you around the boards,
Fluffy

EDIT: I forgot to mention I also have a pet freshwater crayfish or "yabby" as they are known here. No, he's not fluffy, but he does have lovely long whiskers LOL.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Oh, man, I've been in the exact same position! I was sort of in it with Asperger's syndrome, my first psychiatrist said I had it but I didn't think it truly did the diagnosis then he left and my next time was a psychotherapist in disguise of a psychiatrist (no idea why he was doing that job) and he didn't like to label people. I'm now in the same situation with Tourette's syndrome. Only with that I've got my new psychiatrist to give a breadcrumb to me. He diagnosed me with "F92.5, Vocal and Multiple Motor Tic Disorder", leaving out the last bit: [de la Tourette] which I found out on the internet. Of course I was going to look it up, they really shouldn't be surprised with this though, I have Asperger's.

I've got that same 'need to know' mentality. It's really hard to stop looking myself. I'm compelled to look. And I don't think they understand it.

I kind of wish I never said anything and just like the pieces fall into place, but it's a snail's pace they do at and it's incredibly frustrating. I guess it's very hard to tell what will happen if you do bring it up but I would seriously think about it before you mention it to them.

 

[NeoPhile]

Hello, Fluffy! Welcome to our side of the internet!
I think it's good you're going to talk to your psychiatrist. You may or may not be autistic spectrum. Talk with your psychiatrist and give him whatever questions you have. Psychiatry has helped many autistic spectrum people.

 

[Gritches]

I hope I'm not too late, but here's a technique you could use with your psych to improve your chances: you say when you read about AS, from point to point you could relate to a lot of it. Most of us will describe the same thing. One thing you could do to make it a little more palatable for a psych is to print off an info page about AS, perhaps the one you read, and highlight/underline everything that applies to you and give it to your psych.

Also, welcome!

 

[Fluffy]

hi fluffy,welcome to AC.
if you are able to,put photos of your pets on the pets board,we all love kitties here,plus some passionate dog people to.

as for your cray fish,please get a photo of it!!! i think i have what you call a crayfish-perhaps its like a family name for them? its breed is a vampire shrimp,hes called beastie,is quite a large boy and lives in a empty coconut shell in the bottom of a 400 litre tropical fish tank.

i suggest writing down a lot of your developmental history now and how your life is now in terms of social skills,communication,thinking etc
this will help you when it comes to speaking to the pyschologist, you might forget things with the pyschologist so get it all written down, and it might make things easier mentioning the possibility of autism to her anyway.

Hi toothless, thanks so much for the warm welcome
I'm not surprised to hear there are animal lovers amongst us- I will certainly endeavour to post pictures and by crikey, do I have pictures of my cats....dogs...native wildlife... actually pretty much any animal I see is fair game for photographing

My crayfish is a fairly recent addition to the family, but I will post more on him in the pet section when I have more time. I find him very fascinating and can sit and watch him manoeuvre things around his tank all day (if allowed). I think that vampire shrimp are fascinating creatures, I have read about them a little bit while looking for aquarium information. Sounds like Beastie is living the good life in a 400L tank, the lucky devil! Kind of like a shrimp penthouse. Look forward to chatting more

 

[Fluffy]

Hey Fluffy,

Warm hopes and good wishes things have gone/do go supportively and well at your appointment today.

Your post so aligns with the experiences and insights that led me to have to understand more about myself.

It also confirms how routinely women may be misdiagnosed or not fully diagnosed.

If you feel so led, please share an update about how things went.

Every indication you shared indicates it likely your profile includes autistic/aspie features.

Just on the other side of confirmation of my autistic profile, I am getting to know my features, make friends with my creatures, and get myself off the bleachers and more into the game.

I hope you learn information enables you to harness a kinder and more global picture of your design.

It is you, one of a kind, and a masterpiece.

No expert can credential
or letters can detract
from the goodness of your youness.

Wow, what a great post. Thankyou. I can already feel that I am among my people. I particularly love that you added rhyme in your post, that really tickled me.

My appointment didn't go as planned. I didn't get a chance to discuss or show any of the supporting documentation I took with me. During my lead up speech, she found a thread to pull on which monopolised the allotted time and resulted in me bursting into tears (seemingly from nowhere) as I realised just how crafty anxiety is with its shapeshifting and just how much my life is dictated to/by anxiety. Subsequently left with a higher dosage of my antidepressant and the high probability of OCD on top of everything else. Isn't life fun?

Been a bit weepy/fragile ever since but I am trying to buck myself up. Too exhausted to cook tonight, overwhelmed, so thank heavens for frozen pasta sauce and the microwave.

I do feel some comfort in knowing that I have this place to come back to, a sort of soft place to fall... My partner and parents don't understand. Lovely people who care very much for me, but they just CAN'T understand an experience they don't live.

 

[Fluffy]

Only with that I've got my new psychiatrist to give a breadcrumb to me. He diagnosed me with "F92.5, Vocal and Multiple Motor Tic Disorder", leaving out the last bit: [de la Tourette] which I found out on the internet. Of course I was going to look it up, they really shouldn't be surprised with this though, I have Asperger's.

I've got that same 'need to know' mentality. It's really hard to stop looking myself. I'm compelled to look. And I don't think they understand it

I completely understand. I feel like if someone gives me a breadcrumb I am going to keep searching until I find all it's brethren crumbs and make the whole loaf back up Compelled to look- that's it exactly. I have to know. And it applies on new purchases too. Don't even get me started on open internet browser tabs when I'm in the throes of research LOL I'm pretty sure Chrome has a breakdown. But that's kind of a great representation of how my world is. Many open browser tabs.

 

[Fluffy]

I hope I'm not too late, but here's a technique you could use with your psych to improve your chances: you say when you read about AS, from point to point you could relate to a lot of it. Most of us will describe the same thing. One thing you could do to make it a little more palatable for a psych is to print off an info page about AS, perhaps the one you read, and highlight/underline everything that applies to you and give it to your psych.

Also, welcome!

Hello, Fluffy! Welcome to our side of the internet!
I think it's good you're going to talk to your psychiatrist. You may or may not be autistic spectrum. Talk with your psychiatrist and give him whatever questions you have. Psychiatry has helped many autistic spectrum people.

Thankyou both for the welcome. And also to anyone else I have missed, thankyou for the welcome.

I apologise because I didn't realise I could respond to multiple quotes in one response so I have rather bombarded my own thread with replies. Well I know not to do that now.

As I mentioned in another post, I didn't get a chance to talk about my self diagnosis but I did actually have print outs and documentation I was going to use as supporting evidence. I had a four or five page print out with highlighted dot points of symptoms that I felt related to me. I think great minds think alike.

 

[EstimatedProphet]

Welcome! You ought use a picture of the Yabby as your profile photo!

Perhaps someone mentioned it already, but I highly recommend (INSIST, actually) you find a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist with expertise in ADULT autism to discuss your self-diagnosis.

In my own world, various doctors and mental health professionals without such experience diagnosed me with depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, ADHD, and even post-traumatic stress disorder over the years. Post-ASD-diagnosis, I realized that all of those conditions were symptoms of the underlying ASD making me wonder what the hell is the matter with me for 40 years (and the associated anxiety, need for control, and the shame underlying all of it).

Slowly, all of those things are going away as I learn to swim WITH the tide of Asperger's and not against it. (like a riptide -- swim with the current even if it puts you farther out to sea, because if you try to swim against the current you'll surely drown...)

Good luck and don't be a stranger around here. -EP

 

[janie]

I regret the disappointment of your meeting yesterday.

Beastly Anxiety, touts sham tips at the track that promise wins from broken, tired race horses.

I get you bought a ticket at the gate and didn't get the experience you expected.

I am frustrated when someone I trust hijacks a conversation I've risked to initiate and the sour fruit that comes from unmet needs.

And.

Nothing that happened yesterday defines you, lids your insights or negates your internal recognition of your own personhood.

You were not heard yesterday.

And.

You retain the authority to decide if you want to try again to be heard on the topic by the same party, consult another, or rest on your own understanding for now as you process this recent input.

You have choices.
You are not stuck.
You are not broken.

Whatever else, I am glad to know you feel heard here.

Later, when you wish, you can make your next move forward.

You are in motion.
You are growing.
You are moving forward.

Maybe then, you might post another thread and get feedback on your next steps.

There are countless moms and family members on this forum that do hear and understand you.

Trust yourself.

 

[janie]

EstimatedProphet

I want this tattooed on my forehead:

Post-ASD-diagnosis, I realized that all of those conditions were symptoms of the underlying ASD making me wonder what the hell is the matter with me for 40 years (and the associated anxiety, need for control, and the shame underlying all of it).

Slowly, all of those things are going away as I learn to swim WITH the tide of Asperger's and not against it. (like a riptide -- swim with the current even if it puts you farther out to sea, because if you try to swim against the current you'll surely drown...)

Yes!

Yes, yes!

Yes, yes, yes!

 

[Katleya]

Hello, Fluffy, and welcome!
I cannot second Estimated Prophet's post enough...
I've also been pseudo-diagnosed with countless other disorders that really didn't match, and placed under all kinds of medication
Until I found the right practitioner, and that was a revelation, really.
Wishing you the best of luck in future appointments!

 

[janie]

... that was a revelation, really.

!!!

Quite so.