Go figure, another late diagnosis introduction

[ReignMan]

46 year old man, Registered Nurse, late diagnosed less than a year ago. ADHD, high functioning ASD, PTSD. I wondered if I had, at the time Asperger’s, here and there since my 20s, but always backed away because not everything seemed to fit. It wasn’t until I watched Hannah Gadsby that I learned someone on the spectrum could look, sound, and act like me. It explains so many unnecessary situations that awareness could have avoided. But, I’m trying not to lament too much.

Initially I devoured anything I could read, or watch to understand how this happens, and other‘s experiences assimilating themselves with the reality of a late diagnosis. I understand more about what this means for myself, and my family. Ways to cope, reveal a bit from behind the mask to empathetic coworkers, improved communication at home to avoid a major misunderstanding.

Still, there are things that remain elusive. I drive myself nuts from within my bubble, trying to relate to others experiences, their motivations, how the feel and perceive common situations. I admit I get confused when I see more profoundly affected individual. It’s unsettling to my self perception, and I feel like a fraud. Then, someone says something incredibly boring, and tries to engage me further. Then, my irritation and anger over the un-welcomed banter help me recall the truth of my diagnosis. It’s been, and continues to be a process.

I don’t feel I relate to others very well, and in many ways feel even more isolated. I am curious to hear other’s experiences about what made them wonder, ultimately seek a diagnosis, how you reconciled this new information, and how has it changed your life. To any that might respond, thank you.

 

[tree]

 

[kriss72]

Hi @ReignMan , welcome

 

[Richelle-H]

Welcome to the site.

This a great community and a non-toxic place to exist without the risk of being judged. You can be your truest self here, if you are of a mind.

Each of us is unique while still sharing common ground. I was a late diagnosis, but it meant little to me at the time. I never questioned who I was nor did I care that most of humanity found me weird or strange. I knew that early on and accepted it without question. I rather enjoyed being different from everyone else. That might seem egotistical, and perhaps it was to a degree, but it helped me get through my early years.

My diagnosis was arrived at in an effort to appease a friend who told me to my face that she thought I had Asperger's Syndrome. I had never even heard the term before, but.... I went through an assessment and it turned out that she was right. It meant nothing to me at the time but was instrumental in keeping my job as I was approaching 60.

I never considered myself impaired in any way. I always considered other people to be weird or strange, even my own family if it comes down to it. I was more interested in other things than connecting with others. That happened, but it was because of shared interests and my unique perspectives on things.

I now describe myself as Autocosmic, a word I find more interesting and less pejorative than autistic. Webster's Unabridged (on-line) defines the adjective as "highly personalistic, which I am and then some, with its only synonym being autistic.

The way my brain is wired has never impeded me in any significant way. I have had a good life and seen many far-flung places and experienced much more than the average person. Following my own path has been very good to me.

I really cannot complain too much!

 

[Nitro]

 

[Au Naturel]

Welcome to the site.

This a great community and a non-toxic place to exist without the risk of being judged. You can be your truest self here, if you are of a mind.

Each of us is unique while still sharing common ground. I was a late diagnosis, but it meant little to me at the time. I never questioned who I was nor did I care that most of humanity found me weird or strange. I knew that early on and accepted it without question. I rather enjoyed being different from everyone else. That might seem egotistical, and perhaps it was to a degree, but it helped me get through my early years.

My diagnosis was arrived at in an effort to appease a friend who told me to my face that she thought I had Asperger's Syndrome. I had never even heard the term before, but.... I went through an assessment and it turned out that she was right. It meant nothing to me at the time but was instrumental in keeping my job as I was approaching 60.

I never considered myself impaired in any way. I always considered other people to be weird or strange, even my own family if it comes down to it. I was more interested in other things than connecting with others. That happened, but it was because of shared interests and my unique perspectives on things.

I now describe myself as Autocosmic, a word I find more interesting and less pejorative than autistic. Webster's Unabridged (on-line) defines the adjective as "highly personalistic, which I am and then some, with its only synonym being autistic.

The way my brain is wired has never impeded me in any significant way. I have had a good life and seen many far-flung places and experienced much more than the average person. Following my own path has been very good to me.

I really cannot complain too much!

It is good to have a friend who is so perceptive.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I have nothing to prove to anyone including myself, so no intention of ever getting diagnosed as it would serve no purpose When I solve a puzzle, I have enough confidence that I am correct I do not go around questioning it.

 

[Outdated]

Hi and welcome to the forums. My story is very similar to @Richelle-H , from age 5 I knew I was weird and in society at that time being different was unacceptable. Being unable to always be normal I had to grow up fairly mentally tough.

As a young man I became a very successful tradesman and I was very socially active as well, never married or had any kids, never settled down, I moved around the country a bit and explored the world I lived in. I had a great time. In my middle age I burnt out big time and ran away into the bush, socially skilled but no longer desiring a social life. I had a great time there too.

Over all the years of course I'd sometimes ponder what it was that was wrong with me, or not wrong exactly but obviously different. I bandied around with words like autism and aspergers a few times but friends and family scoffed at me for that idea. Privately I sometimes wondered if I was a sociopath because I have all those abilities as well, but I love animals.

In 2016 I heard people on a talk show on the radio, some university professors were describing my whole life, it fitted so well that I listened for the names and searched for them and wrote to them. After a few conversations they accepted me as autistic and included me in a 5 year study of autism in adults for the autism crc. I finally started to get some answers about my life.

In 2020 I got a formal diagnosis, ASD2. A combination of that and my age, 55, got me a pension.

 

[AndyFBlues]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[MNAus]

Hi there. Good to have you here.

I think one of the big issues with ASD is its breadth. I'm really not sure it's a single condition. So when you compare symptoms with others it really can feel like you're a fraud. But if I close out comparisons with other ASD, and just compare myself to neurotypical, clearly there's a difference. We also had a bunch of DNA testing, so there's no doubt in my mind. As to why: because of my kids. Two of them have been diagnosed ASD, and as I sat there answering the questions from the psychologists during that process I had a dolly zoom moment.

It's answered a lot of questions I guess, but they're not really questions I was asking, more issues that I wish didn't happen. So knowing WHY hasn't been super helpful. Example: I now understand why I've had so many jobs and why I struggled with the whole office politics thing. So though it's kind of nice knowing I was fighting a battle I couldn't really be expected to win, it still put a wrecking ball through my career which will likely see me having a pretty crappy end to my life.

It's a mixed bag with my relationship. It's allowed me to see that perhaps what I thought was helpful, wasn't. But it's also put to bed the idea that this is something that can be cured, which hasn't had the most positive effect for my partner.

 

[Angular Chap]

I am curious to hear other’s experiences about what made them wonder, ultimately seek a diagnosis, how you reconciled this new information, and how has it changed your life.

Hello and welcome, @ReignMan

In my early 20s I began wondering what was "wrong" with me when I stared to notice a strange pattern that whenever I went anywhere, everyone else just seemed to magically know where to go, what to do, what to say and who to say it to, but I was just completely lost, could never quite figure out what to do and usually ended up humiliated.

Around the same time, but separately, I also considered agoraphobia, then read about social anxiety. I looked deeper into those things but they didn't really fit me. Then I discovered Asperger's syndrome and everything fell into place. The traits, the sensitivities, the stimming, all kinds of things. But it didn't feel right back then to self-diagnose and I didn't want to go to a doctor and say "I read this thing on the internet and I think I have it" so I just left it, sunk myself into my special interests and forgot all about it. I just coasted along for years, pretty content.

In 2020, I heard the word autism being used more and more and the word kept going round and round in my head. I got back into researching it, discovered what a burnout was, realised I was going through another one that wouldn't go away, and thought it was time to come clean to my close family (who were starting to get suspicious that something was "wrong") and get an official diagnosis. I was far more comfortable going to a doctor since now there is plenty of official autism information on many NHS websites.

My doctor happily referred me to NHS psychiatry, I'm still on a long waiting list, but coming out helped a lot. I was lucky my close family accepted me. They understand me much better now.

All the best on your own autism journey.

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome to the forum, @ReignMan. There are lots of people willing to help out if you have any questions about the site. Good to have you here.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Welcome to the forum. I worked in the field of developmental disabilities for 20 years, but it wasn’t until I stumbled on an article describing high functioning female autism that the penny dropped.

My experience has been similar to those already described. I don’t have an official diagnosis. There is no point really.

 

[marc_101]

Welcome!

Autism is very broad -- too broad. A cluster of traits; most of them not present in any single person other than in some TV shows that build a non-existent person. I've always known that I'm different but never considered autism until I stumbled upon more realistic descriptions of real people. Then a lot of things made sense.

Understanding it can only help you, but don't think of yourself as "less." Unique, a different flavor or human maybe. Many times, a better human because of it.

 

[jellyfish]

I've got a very detailed case history because of my issues in school. They were basically studying me like I was a science experiment and always asking em questions.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome.

My journey to a diagnosis started with encountering a media piece about autistic workers that really resonated with me. I pretty much knew then that this was it, but I decided to wait until getting the diagnosis before joining groups and communities like this one. I suppose I wanted the confirmation first. I guess I was afraid of identifying with something and then finding out that I'm not.

For me, the post-diagnosis journey started with, and continues with learning about the stories of others, as they help me make sense of my own, and what may lie ahead, and sometimes those stories and experiences might be helpful to others as well.

I'm glad that many AS and ND communities are open to those who self identify as well, so those who are comfortable with self-diagnosis, or who are wondering, or are allies, can also join.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forum.
I was late diagnosed in my mid-fifties.
I had never heard of Asperger's or knew much about autism until then.
Only when a grief counselor who obviously knew a lot about it told me she thought
I had Asperger's and told me I should be tested did I find out.

Everything fit my life. I knew I was different in many ways to others from an early age, but it didn't really bother me.
The things that were difficult for me, anxiety/ panic attacks/ agoraphobia, were termed comorbid existing with the ASD.
I have found it interesting to know the differences and helpful in understanding myself and traits.
Glad I had diagnosis. Hope you find even more understanding from being here.
I did.