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Frustration & Anger

Georgia Galaxy

Georgia Galaxy

Georgie Girl <3
V.I.P Member
I felt a LOT of anger earlier today, especially when I was doing chores. I felt very 'teenage angsty' and disappointed my family. It's EXTREMELY unusual for me to be that angry. Suddenly though, I realise one thing I'm frustrated about - I still don't have a job yet. I also get annoyed at constantly being told and asked about it by everyone, y'know? Like, can we just pretend I'm a kid- But no. I'm a young adult now.

I'm sure it'll all sort itself out soon, but I have been feeling fairly bored and frustrated, especially with the mundaneity of chores. I am grateful everyday, but sometimes I have bad spells. This storm has passed, and I'm sure things will get better :)
 
georgiagalaxy said:
I felt a LOT of anger earlier today, especially when I was doing chores. I felt very 'teenage angsty' and disappointed my family. It's EXTREMELY unusual for me to be that angry. Suddenly though, I realise one thing I'm frustrated about - I still don't have a job yet. I also get annoyed at constantly being told and asked about it by everyone, y'know? Like, can we just pretend I'm a kid- But no. I'm a young adult now.

I'm sure it'll all sort itself out soon, but I have been feeling fairly bored and frustrated, especially with the mundaneity of chores. I am grateful everyday, but sometimes I have bad spells. This storm has passed, and I'm sure things will get better :)
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So many times people get angry over something when they are really angry over something entirely different. Happens a lot.
 
georgiagalaxy said:
I felt a LOT of anger earlier today, especially when I was doing chores. I felt very 'teenage angsty' and disappointed my family. It's EXTREMELY unusual for me to be that angry. Suddenly though, I realise one thing I'm frustrated about - I still don't have a job yet. I also get annoyed at constantly being told and asked about it by everyone, y'know? Like, can we just pretend I'm a kid- But no. I'm a young adult now.

I'm sure it'll all sort itself out soon, but I have been feeling fairly bored and frustrated, especially with the mundaneity of chores. I am grateful everyday, but sometimes I have bad spells. This storm has passed, and I'm sure things will get better :)
Click to expand...

Nothing wrong with being angry or frustrated. I don't always express these feelings in ways that are obvious to people, so when they do realize I'm angry or frustrated they can be taken aback. Though often the same people tell me I'm "too nice" or similar. But, that's not my problem. The question isn't whether you should feel those things or not, it's how you express them.

I would get annoyed if people kept asking me about work, too. My coworkers ask each week if I've been hiking. But, since I got Lyme Disease almost two years ago I can't hike. Which they know. Some people just don't listen or observe.
 
georgiagalaxy said:
I felt a LOT of anger earlier today, especially when I was doing chores. I felt very 'teenage angsty' and disappointed my family. It's EXTREMELY unusual for me to be that angry. Suddenly though, I realise one thing I'm frustrated about - I still don't have a job yet. I also get annoyed at constantly being told and asked about it by everyone, y'know? Like, can we just pretend I'm a kid- But no. I'm a young adult now.

I'm sure it'll all sort itself out soon, but I have been feeling fairly bored and frustrated, especially with the mundaneity of chores. I am grateful everyday, but sometimes I have bad spells. This storm has passed, and I'm sure things will get better :)
Click to expand...
Luckily for me, the bad feelings have passed (music fixed everything -w-) but yes.... I've never felt this angry before for seemingly no reason. I worry if this worsens with age?
I think I'll be able to survive interviews and jobs, "It's not the end of the world."
 
Mr. Stevens said:
Nothing wrong with being angry or frustrated. I don't always express these feelings in ways that are obvious to people, so when they do realize I'm angry or frustrated they can be taken aback. Though often the same people tell me I'm "too nice" or similar. But, that's not my problem. The question isn't whether you should feel those things or not, it's how you express them.

I would get annoyed if people kept asking me about work, too. My coworkers ask each week if I've been hiking. But, since I got Lyme Disease almost two years ago I can't hike. Which they know. Some people just don't listen or observe.
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Yeah it really hurts peoples' feelings and it's not good to take it out on them, especially on a work day :[ My Dad has to constantly remind me of this to ground me and stop me from doing it more.
Aww man, that's true.. However I feel like my family is trying to listen and understand me <3
 
Au Naturel said:
So many times people get angry over something when they are really angry over something entirely different. Happens a lot.
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oh my GOODNESS yes. This is why, whenever I'm mad or upset about something, I do not take it out on my fiance. Suppose I'm stressed about work or money or somesuch; they have no deserving of me just blowing up at them because I'm frustrated, only for me to 'explain it' later. My parents...never learned how to do this.
 
Anger comes and goes, then repeats in cycles.
It takes a lot to get me really angry, but I sure can get annoyed.
In answer to your question does it get worse with age?
It hasn't with me.
I was much easier to anger when younger.
Time has mellowed me out it seems.

@Mr. Stevens Sorry to hear about the Lymes and how it has affected you.
I have a neurological problem that has put a stop to things like hiking and walks in
the woods past several years.
 
Mr. Stevens said:
Nothing wrong with being angry or frustrated...The question isn't whether you should feel those things or not, it's how you express them.
Click to expand...

Gerald Wilgus said:
Sometimes frustration and anger is necessary to convince oneself to make much needed changes.
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As my mentor told me last week, being angry is a response to something we've seen or experienced, but it's not inherently good or bad.

We can think of it like a reaction that is akin to lighting a spark. A spark which leads to a fire.

What you do with it - whether negative (burning bridges and other things) or positive (using it as a catalyst for change / fighting for change) is up to you.

That being said, it is not healthy to hold things in when flames are consuming you, and hopefully you have ways, when you need to let out some frustration and anger, of doing so in a way that releases the steam, while hopefully still leaving some spark for you to emerge from a tribulation with as you try to make the changes that will help you, and the world, get better.

(The ranting thread is a no-feedback / non-judgemental thread where you can say whatever you need to, and would be one example of a safe space to let off some steam.)
 
Georgia, I would argue that the anger you felt is somewhat of a good thing. I have definitely noticed a very positive attitude and an optimistic outlook on life from you, which is a beautiful thing that can bring you strength and wisdom through life. Nevertheless, emotions are all about balance. You are 17 and the personal and social expectations on you are changing. It is perfectly OK for you to get angry about things.

I spent much of my early life suppressing anger, partly because it was unexpected from me and also because expressions of emotions were not encouraged in the environment in which I grew up. People always knew me as being so positive, and it was hard for me to deconstruct that identity when 30 years later, I realized that no, I am not always positive. I am simply human, and I feel all the things.

It is very normal for us to feel different things at different times, and being able to identify your thoughts, your feelings, and the behavior that they spark can be very valuable.

Yes, it is also valuable to learn to control your temper, understand the needs of others, and find the right time to bite your tongue, but expression of anger is not only healthy, but very important to our overall state of mind.

It’s OK to get angry. It’s OK to let it out. It’s OK to not be perfect. None of us are perfect, and none of us can be constantly calm and positive.
 
I’ve been in a constant loop of anger and sadness a lot recently. It has been affecting my mental health a lot and I had to get some help with it. I understand your frustration and anger with not getting a job. I have felt that same thing because I have still not found a job either. I had to take a step back and work on myself because my mental health has taken a tole on me in the last four months. You are a very positive and bright person and I have hope you will get one soon. It might not be the right time for you to get one yet. The perfect opportunity will come to you soon when the time is right. I know it is annoying at the moment, but don’t give up!
 
What is your school situation at the moment? In the USA we finish High School around age 18 and then some go to college right away. Others may start work and perhaps do college later or part time. Some, if the situation allows, do neither and spend their time on the computer for years in a kind of stasis.

It can be hard to know what you want to do long term but having some plan that moves you towards independence and career fullfilment is I think a good idea. Like I mention, knowing what you want to do may be difficult, but you can still make short term plans that move you in the right direction. Like deciding some college would be a good start (2 or 4 year degree) or that some work experience is what you want. Not everyone can go right out of the main childhood schooling into college. Either it is not financially feasible or perhaps you are not mentally ready to go back to school work. Each has their own pace and neither is wrong.

Btw you seem to be pretty on the ball for a 17 year old kid. And I like your motivation. Have faith in yourself that you will accomplish what you set out to do.

Don't worry about occasional flareups. Many of us with autism get them. Do what you did, and analyze them and try to keep yourself from hurting others with anger/harsh words. Come up with your own methods of taking the negative energy and dispersing it in a safe fashion.

I used to throw things when it happened. It happened once in a while at work or home. I remember throwing a hammer, a Christmas tree stand, a helmet, a refridgerator (yes believe it or not), a phone, a antique childs school desk. Never at anyone. usually no one was around. Then I threw something very expensive and felt like an idiot having just wasted my money. I said there has to be a better way. I used personnal isolation mostly. Take myself out of the area where others are. If able some walking it off helps. When I felt it coming on later in life I just told my wife and kids I needed alone time. My code phrase was 'It's a full moon tonight' :D

wolfman.jpg


;)
 
Mostly get pissed by problems caused by not thinking things through. An example would be cleaning up after brewing some hibiscus tea- and knocking over the filled glass of tea in the process. Foul self-deprecating language and temporary insanity occurs. Ten minutes later I'm realizing once again that in the big scheme of things, it was absolutely of zero importance! Next day it's something else, ..........
The one situation that anger helps is when dealing with a mechanical difficulty. Such as trying to center a carburetor base bolt in a poorly accessible spot with my oversized hands. After several tries, the profanity flows so easily! But when cussing the design, my clumsy hands, and the engineering team/beancounters, the anger boosts my energy level, enabling success. Then I'm tired and bit embarrassed by it all.

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."​

-Mark Twain
 
Rodafina said:
Georgia, I would argue that the anger you felt is somewhat of a good thing. I have definitely noticed a very positive attitude and an optimistic outlook on life from you, which is a beautiful thing that can bring you strength and wisdom through life. Nevertheless, emotions are all about balance. You are 17 and the personal and social expectations on you are changing. It is perfectly OK for you to get angry about things.

I spent much of my early life suppressing anger, partly because it was unexpected from me and also because expressions of emotions were not encouraged in the environment in which I grew up. People always knew me as being so positive, and it was hard for me to deconstruct that identity when 30 years later, I realized that no, I am not always positive. I am simply human, and I feel all the things.

It is very normal for us to feel different things at different times, and being able to identify your thoughts, your feelings, and the behavior that they spark can be very valuable.

Yes, it is also valuable to learn to control your temper, understand the needs of others, and find the right time to bite your tongue, but expression of anger is not only healthy, but very important to our overall state of mind.

It’s OK to get angry. It’s OK to let it out. It’s OK to not be perfect. None of us are perfect, and none of us can be constantly calm and positive.
Click to expand...
Aww... Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better. The truth is, I don't really know why I was so p*ssed off and was quite shocked afterward, calming down quickly. I have been pretty moody lately. Thank you.

Me too, I've actually become known as the positive one. Thank you, I shall keep that in mind :)
 
DaisyRose said:
I’ve been in a constant loop of anger and sadness a lot recently. It has been affecting my mental health a lot and I had to get some help with it. I understand your frustration and anger with not getting a job. I have felt that same thing because I have still not found a job either. I had to take a step back and work on myself because my mental health has taken a tole on me in the last four months. You are a very positive and bright person and I have hope you will get one soon. It might not be the right time for you to get one yet. The perfect opportunity will come to you soon when the time is right. I know it is annoying at the moment, but don’t give up!
Click to expand...
Aww me too, I have that sometimes. Thank you. Aww.... Yeah I'm sure I will. Things will improve. :)
 
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