Do you "do" large Groups?

[Dreadful Dante]

I can present lectures with ease and keep everyone craving for more.

I'm able to do this as a result of long studies on Linguistics and Neurolinguistics. I can assume specific body language and speech patterns for short periods of time. It takes planning and superhuman concentration.

Here's the twist. A lecture isn't a conversation, it is a monologue. Monologues are very easy, mainly because I can practise it on my own and it doesn't require responding, just presenting.

Out of these monologue contexts, I need a large spectrum of planning before I interact with large groups without it being awkward. It's very tiring and if my scripts end before "the show's over", I start to act spontaneously (awkward).

In conclusion, I prefer 1-1 in a calm place with someone patient and understanding.

 

[Cali Cat]

Large groups don't work for me. I have a lot of trouble understanding the conversation when there's too much chatter and commotion going on. I can't respond properly, and I start to space out.

 

[NotStrangeJustDifferent]

I used to hate going around large groups of people, to an extreme. But then, over the years, I learned to enjoy being around people, so I could examine their behavior and try to figure them out. They intrigue me, even though I can't relate to most of them. I hate going somewhere with a large group of people, yuck, but going shopping, or to an amusement park with my friend, is fine. I can only handle that for a few hours, though, before I have to go home, go into my room and spend a lot of time alone. Being around a lot of people makes me feel exhausted.

 

[NateSean]

To elaborate, though, I don't think it's an Aspie thing, as such. Because I can be in a large group when I want to be, when I feel that there is a good chance that I could find common ground with people in the group.

If I know what to expect ahead of time, like say, a party where food is available, I'm great. If it's at a (insert political viewpoint here) party, then probably less so.

 

[Kirsty]

I "do" large groups. It's easier for me because a one-to-one conversation can get really awkward to keep up with. Whereas, in a group, there's not so much pressure to maintain conversation. If I feel like being quiet, I will and without feeling so awkward as there is always someone else there to do the talking. I can come and go if I like and buy a drink or whatever to escape for a bit if I feel too socially anxious.

 

[flynn_gabriel]

Sober: not at all, I get violent, start S#!t, cause a scene, etc.
Stoned: everything hunky dory.
Now I'm no small guy. I weigh in at 245lbs and stand 6'3". Once I start throwing stuff(its what I do) best get out the way..... I take flight or fight seriously more like flight AND fight..... Seriously tho. basically I turn into the hulk.

 

[Nightingale121]

Here's the twist. A lecture isn't a conversation, it is a monologue. Monologues are very easy, mainly because I can practise it on my own and it doesn't require responding, just presenting.

I totally agree with that.
There was a group event for several days once where I had to interact with people most of the time (group work and also in the breaks). I wasn't very good at that and rather quiet.
At the end of the week we had to do a presentation. I prepared everything very well, practised that etc., so I got that done rather well. It's just a monologue as you said. There's no spontaneous reacting involved; I know what's coming next and what to do next.
After the presentation someone came to me saying: "Wow, that was quite good. I hadn't expected that from you. You were so quiet all the time."
Yes, I was quiet because social interacting with groups is hard and exhausting for me, but doing a presentation is far more easy, especially when I'm really into a topic.
I used to be more uncomfortable with presentations too, but after I realized this it somehow got better.
I'm still nervous, but try to remember that it's basically an easy monologue. It's actually the best for me to ignore the people who are listening at all and pretend I am talking out loud to myself. That kind of works for me.

 

[WereBear]

What I am discovering about myself is that I am so good at working large groups I also did not realize it was exhausting me. Now, I must re-evaluate how much of it I do and how much of it I can take

 

[NovaScotia Aspie]

Nope, can't do it. Conversations always get muddled and splintered, people talking all at once, and I can't follow, and then space out. And if it should happen that I can follow, I usually can't react quickly enough to interject.

This is the root of much of my not feeling like an adult, I think.

I am the same way , although I would be fine in a large group , say watching a hockey game as no real social interaction would be taking place. I even find it uncomfortable sitting with a group of people ( say 5 or 6 ) . I function fine in a one to one setting and am probably as skilled socially as many NT's , at least as far as socialization expected in the workplace but can't handle group settings.

 

[Ethan]

I personally don't do large groups. When I am in one I just stay away from everybody else in my corner.

 

[ManfromMars]

Depends on the place and people, but for most part I avoid them. I do sometimes have a great time though. I guess if I connect with something or someone.

 

[pineman93]

feels uncomfortable to me I like a group of 3-5 people at best but also in certain places there is always going to be alot of people and sometimes you have to adjust or get use to it

 

[jamesaldrin]

I agree. In a 1 to 1 setting I can have great conversations with the other person, and have good social skills (which I have learned over time). In a group, I just go silent while the other people keep talking. It seems like, in a group, everybody is just trying to get their words in without listening to what anybody else's words are. Like a competition to be heard. Not friendly, the way I see it.

 

[jamesaldrin]

I can tolerate it for a little while. I attend a small church, only 50 or so, and the worst part is the passing of the peace. 5 minutes of social awkwardness. Its not too bad since I know a lot of people there, but its still sort of a fake forced situation that I could live without.

Yes! Passing the peace is always a challenge.

 

[LittleLemon]

Flight or fight definitely kicks in for me. I went to an ASD women's support group this week with about 30 other women. Each person shares something if they want. When it was my turn to share, I made sure to write it out because I can't organize my thoughts when a bunch of eyes are looking at me. I much prefer one on one.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Personally - I'm running out of trousers.

I know I need to go into a shop, trying to move away from catalogue stuff.

Perhaps you could call it an ambition to get something that actually fits

Tho if the walls close in, I will likely buy something 'near enough' they'll do, gotta go....
So another new pair of something that doesn't fit....

 

[toothless]

i cant 'do' large groups without being lorazepammed up,and even then i suffer from major sensory overload and my challenging behaviors and my echolalia appears badly.
i struggle greatly in terms of visual processing,large groups really scew this up for me and i am almost completely blind my visual processing just shuts down-although im supposed to wear padded helmets i currently choose to wear a baseball cap instead as its got a lid/edge on so i can hide much of the visual noise.

as for audio noise,i use industrial strength ear defenders and this helps,but i am left feeling extremely overloaded,as an example i might go to the trafford centre shopping mall to just one shop for a game or something, and i will experience challenging behaviors and near constant echolalia and extreme anxiety as well as the painful overload for hours afterwards,i will either be stuck in a pattern of banging my head, biting myself and hitting out at anything after getting home along with echolalia or i will have a shutdown and go to sleep exhausted.
this is all thanks to being in big groups!

at the ID/LGBT support/social group i go to has about 5/6 people including myself and the mencap gateway social club is quite big but its in a big hall with good acoustics so it helps but i have to go outside to have breaks and when i leave i am usually having behaviors,when i get home i have behaviors, major anxiety and overload and dont recover for hours....but i do it to learn to be interactive and not be stuck in my own dimension all the time.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Is it an Aspie thing to not like large groups or is it just me?

It is quite a difficult thing with autistic people. If you think about it there's one connection between two people, there's three with three people, there's six with four people. And the numbers just keep going up the more people there are. And there's a lot to do in a conversation, there's a lot to watch out for. It's understandable why this is harder for you and a lot of other people out there.

I do prefer smaller groups but I can do larger ones. It's a lot easier for me if I know the types of people in the group, what is appropriate, what isn't. I can figure that out fairly easily but observing others.

 

[Bolletje]

I went to a birthday party last week, where I didn't know anyone but the birthday girl. I just started drinking heavily so I could socialize slightly, but I still had to get out of there after 3 hours.

When I know most of the people I have less trouble with large groups, but I'm still anxious for a bit before I settle in.

 

[BlueCobra]

Personally I don't, I hate large groups in general, much rather function in a 1 to 1 setting, or at best very small groups.

How about you lot? Is it an Aspie thing to not like large groups or is it just me.

Never been much for crowds, I agree 1 on 1 can open up a better line of communication for me