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Dating relationship help with autism

Yes. He gets 1200 a year and 800 goes to rent and he gets $500. He also has a card from social securities that pays for his groceries!!
@WVV,
This is Will’s private financial information and it may not be the best idea for you to be sharing it publicly in this way. You seem determined to do what you think is best for Will and I believe that you have good intentions and love in your heart. It sounds like you are stuck in a messy situation where it feels like your autonomy and Will's are being steamrolled by an over-involved mother.

I agree with @AuroraBorealis that speaking to your father and getting more advice from him could be a useful place to start. All of us replying to you now are strangers to your situation and we do not have all of the pieces of the puzzle. I'm concerned that engaging in secrecy and going to battle with Will's mother has a high chance of further damaging your relationship with Will and his mother and possibly getting you into trouble.

If you believe in Will's independence as much as you say you do, then it will have to be he who deals with his mother - it is not your role to "save him" from her. It is evident that you and Will each have a parent in your life who is concerned about your well being and involved in big life decisions that you want to make. If you would like to change this dynamic, I suggest relying on your therapist and your father to determine an appropriate course of action.

It sounds like you are working on some big and important goals like saving your money to get your own place. I think this is wonderful and striving for independence and trying to help someone you care about are very good things. That said, family relationships and conservatorships are very complicated and it is important to be consulting with people who have a better understanding of your whole situation than any of us here on the forum could. Afterall, we just met you. Maybe you could arrange a face to face meeting with you, Will, his mother, and your father.
 
I have been speaking to my dad about it and he tells me to talk about it to my therapist. That is what I’ve been doing!!!! We are trying to come up with the best possible solution that is best for everyone involved!!!
 
I have been speaking to my dad about it and he tells me to talk about it to my therapist. That is what I’ve been doing!!!! We are trying to come up with the best possible solution that is best for everyone involved!!!
That is great. I hope it all works out for you. I see that you are in a very tough position right now and understandably very frustrated. I really hope you can find happiness and that the forum is helpful to you.
 
That is great. I hope it all works out for you. I see that you are in a very tough position right now and understandably very frustrated. I really hope you can find happiness and that the forum is helpful to you.
Thank you. Me too and its beyond frustrating for me but im still willing to fight this so Will can get the help and resources that he needs so he can thrive more with being independent
 
This sounds like a very difficult situation. I tried to help someone with possessive, overbearing parents, and the point where I give up, is where she is not willing to provide me contact information to support her. She was nice, we had a pleasant time, she was accepting of momentary physical help, which makes it apparent that she welcomes social contact, but as soon as she runs out of time, her parents' overbearing nature takes precedence. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. It will backfire, and you will be cast as the bad guy, but the determining factor is that it will go to waste. I haven't followed this whole story because it's a bit overwhelming, but if your friend will maintain contact, then I think that's going to be the determining factor of whether you can succeed.
I have relatively overbearing parents. The only way to solve this is to accept your place in life and just deal with it and not complain or to move out independently. My parents once told me they would move in with me. I told them that I care about them so much that they can move here, but they have to deal with all my belongings and I will just rent nearby and visit them occasionally if I must.
 
I have relatively overbearing parents. The only way to solve this is to accept your place in life and just deal with it and not complain or to move out independently. My parents once told me they would move in with me. I told them that I care about them so much that they can move here, but they have to deal with all my belongings and I will just rent nearby and visit them occasionally if I must.
Yes. I was talking about why my boyfriend who is autistic and why his mom had let us be together for a year before breaking us up and seperating us twice and why she does not want me and her son to date!!! She keeps changing her replies and last time she said i did not have a future to offer her son.
 
Just back off, let everything die down a bit. You see an injustice, and you just can't step in and dictate the outcome. He will have to feel up to stepping delicately away from his mom. Truthfully, he may not have the emotional skillset to do this. And you as a non-family member, can't really change the dynamics. At most, you could get back in the mom's good graces. And work at getting back to your "friendship " with him slowly. This is hard to say to you, but this is the best way without upsetting his mom. This isn't about you or him, this about being considerate of everyone. Sorry if you took this as harsh. However, there is excellent support from the other posts l read here. And l would like to acknowledge your frustration. We can say things being on the spectrum, but it doesn't mean we will follow thru on what we said, like l will move in with you. This is just one opinion. :)
 
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Just back off, let everything die down a bit. You see an injustice, and you just can't step in and dictate the outcome. He will have to feel up to stepping delicately away from his mom. Truthfully, he may not have the emotional skillset to do this. And you as a non-family member, can't really change the dynamics. At most, you could get back in the mom's good graces. And work at getting back to your "friendship " with him slowly. This is hard to say to you, but this is the best way without upsetting his mom. This isn't about you or him, this about being considerate of everyone. Sorry if you took this as harsh. However, there is excellent support from the other posts l read here. And l would like to acknowledge your frustration. We can say things being on the spectrum, but it doesn't mean we will follow thru on what we said, like l will move in with you. This is just one opinion. :)
I disagree about getting back to good graces with his mom. The mom is very self serving and she separated us twice and we are not allowed to have contact with each other anymore. I think now she knows our feelings are real and will do everything she can to protect her son from it at any cost. Thank you for the suggestion!!!
 
Thats totally not true. I have other options which Ive been talking to a social worker/ therapist who is helping me with all of this!!! We are taking all options into consideration and working on a plan. So i really do appreciate your suggestions!!! I also feel none of them are helping!! Thanks for your thoughts on it all!!!
 
Good luck. If it turns into a state agency matter, and they rule in her favor, you will have burnt that bridge forever. You will never see him again. Just think carefully of the consequences of your actions. Just a suggestion.
 
I know and honestly this is really my boyfriends decision to make. I will support him on whatever he wants. I will be there and by his side on whatever he decides!! After all he is big boy!!! Say i do take your suggestion any ideas on how i can get back into good graces with the mother?
 
I only wish the best for you. Those autistic guys can be real heartbreakers. Maybe extend an invite to a coffee place to meet up with her only? Show her you are on her side?
 
I only wish the best for you. Those autistic guys can be real heartbreakers. Maybe extend an invite to a coffee place to meet up with her only? Show her you are on her side?
Ok. I can try that but i doubt if she even will meet me anywhere!!!
 
Ok. I can try that but i doubt if she even will meet me anywhere!!!
This lady has known me since i was a baby and our families did everything together!! So she should know that Im on her side already and ive even told her that i just want whats best for her son and everybody involved. After telling her that, thats when she broke us up!!!
 
This lady has known me since i was a baby and our families did everything together!! So she should know that Im on her side already and ive even told her that i just want whats best for her son and everybody involved. After telling her that, thats when she broke us up!!!
I think at some point you need to clarify that you were not manipulating Will into sending inappropriate pictures. I know you don't want to get Will in trouble, but if his mother still thinks that you did this, it could be a big factor as to why she doesn't want you two together.
 
This lady has known me since i was a baby and our families did everything together!! So she should know that Im on her side already and ive even told her that i just want whats best for her son and everybody involved. After telling her that, thats when she broke us
I have told her that!! I only let her believe what she wanted bc I thought I was protecting him. I also told her that Will was the one who asked for the inappropriate pics but she still believes what she wants!!! I love Will and I would never manipulate him ever!!! I just want whats best for him and for him to live the life that makes him happy!!! Maybe I should just leave and get out of his life. I do not want to stand in his way of anything I love him that much even if it means I have to be miserable for the rest of my life… I will do anything for Will and he knows that!!! I think the world of Will and would never want to hurt him in anyway!!! I just hope his mom knew that and believed it!!!
 
I see. You already told her. Well that's good. You don't want to be blamed for something you didn't do.

Do you have any friends that you can talk to about this? Talking to your father and your therapist is good, but sometimes a peer/friend's perspective can be helpful, too.
 
No. I lost all of my friends bc they believed whatever Wills mom had told them!! I have nobody!!!
 
No. I lost all of my friends bc they believed whatever Wills mom had told them!! I have nobody!!!
I understand. Friends can be hard to find for lots of us. I had big stretches of life with only animal friends.
 
I do have a dog but its not the same as having human friends who can give advice!!! Im so scared that Ive lost Will forever!!! He was my best friend and now ive lost him forever
 

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