AuDHD

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

So, are there others with AuDHD, that have the experience, that whenever you start to feel happy, you start to put your guards down, maybe things start to go too fast and then the ADHD kicks you in the face and you start to make stupid mistakes - it kind of says, don't you dare to think you can relax and be happy? Or maybe I'm just forgetting to count my spoons and overloaded, trying to do too much, I feel a bit confused...

It is painful and people can bully you.
Sensitive rejection hurts and the way people can make fun of you and embarrassment is really rough for me.
I feel like I am often wrong for some of the things I feel or think
Or people will perceive me as stupid because of them
I hate being made to feel like I am incapable when I am really smart.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Some time ago, I saw a YouTube short where a girl shared her method; in short, she created a list of her tasks and assigned priorities and energy levels to each. Anyway, to give you an idea of my routine, here are some examples: midweek, I spend the entire morning in nature because it balances me. On Saturdays, I do things that make me feel good, and on Sundays, I always carve out time to recharge during the day. In the morning, for instance, to motivate myself to get up, I wake up an hour before I need to prepare for the day and do things I enjoy. In the evening, since I experience many emotions throughout the day, I use the stationary bike. On Thursdays and Fridays, I always do the laundry, so I won't do the grocery shopping on those two days because I won't do the laundry due to being too tired from shopping. I hope this is helpful! You are taking good steps towards increasingly independent planning, a significant accomplishment that you should be proud of! It's not common for everyone to take action and face their difficulties. Wish you the best

I agree it does not mean you are limited, you just have to find a balance.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Yes,
It all starts like this:
"Oh yes, today I'm fine, I go to the mall: buy this and that...
And it ends like that:
I spend more than I wanted to spend (usually on books or shiny, cute, or colorful things, or gifts for others).
That's why now I know myself, and I know I have my moments. Here's what I do to avoid disasters:
1. I go with cash, so there's a maximum budget.
2. I have my blacklist of items I shouldn't buy because I'll declutter them anyway, and they're useless.
3. I have ADHD, so points 1 and 2 often stay at home.
4. I despair because I didn't follow the rules.
5. Repeat and adjust more and more without trampling on your essence and the needs of your traits but balance and accept your mistakes.
Finally:
I come back home and feel happy like a child. I position everything, reorganize the spaces, and focus on new things. Then suddenly, I realize I skipped my routines and am in the midst of an existential crisis mixed with panic because I think about how undisciplined I am. I do everything at any cost, even if it means sleeping late, and then (the sleep routine falls apart). Then I start thinking, 'Why did you break down your day into the smallest details to avoid panic, and then you invite panic on your own?' Usually, I stop everything, avoiding postponing tasks to the next day to prevent the situation from becoming enormous (that's why I don't go to bed until everything is done).

I am sorry I definitely make mistakes too, like spend too much money shopping, I can get carried away.
I can do something and wish I'd done something else.
For someone with adhd I am very organised and do make lists.
However I am the sort of person who can feel pressure to take too much on and become very disorganised when it comes to visitors and meeting appointments
People who meet me and know me sometimes expect me to be a wonder woman, get tired and am often sick of having to find something for someone else etc when I actually have adhd.
And often lose my own stuff but it is helpful to have a clean house for me.
I actually go the other way where I do not know where i would be if there was nothing to organise but still I have other adhd traits

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I feel something similar to this. Where I feel good, try to jump in and help, then make mistakes. Mostly with failing to ask questions, because I assume it'll be easy to figure out. Just to be proven wrong. I've had a few successes where I jumped in and could do it with little issue.

But yeah. It does feel like you cannot afford to let your gaurd down without something going wrong. But believing this doesn't serve any purpose, outside adding on to the anxiety we already have. Learning to look at it as a learning experience, than a reason to feel guilty, is something we have to practice each day.

Yeah I make mistakes and it is hard it feels like someone can jump down your throat if you make them.
And people can still be jealous of people with disabilities.
I am a fairly attractive woman and I get scared when I make mistakes that someone will laugh at me when I screw up or say i am I am incapable and I am like I am actually not.
Like you better not overeat or eat too much or drop food on the floor or yourself or like have a pigsty house or if you are doing a good job then oh you make others look bad even though you have disabilities and there will always be some things you struggle with.
Or you better watch you do not eat with your hands in any way or like do something stupid like try to cook something and then realise it is not a good idea and waste it. Or sounds disgusting pick your scabs etc when they are bothering you.
It is never good to be around someone who judges those behaviours because you will end up feeling awful with sensitive rejection.
I eat and if I get fat I do, you know. I need to eat to be healthy.

 

[Neri]

It's needing order but never being able to achieve it, for me.
It's so much brain activity that my body can't keep up.
It's forgetting what I just did or said, two seconds ago, but remembering and connecting soooo many dots and things you're not supposed to remember, like things in babyhood and past lives.
It's such insatiable need for constant input of information, but, I can't retain one seventeenth of it. It's wanting to commit to tasks and projects but rarely being able to. It's constant distractability and compulsive interest hyperfixation. And more, so much more.

 

[wards]

So, are there others with AuDHD, that have the experience, that whenever you start to feel happy, you start to put your guards down, maybe things start to go too fast and then the ADHD kicks you in the face and you start to make stupid mistakes - it kind of says, don't you dare to think you can relax and be happy? Or maybe I'm just forgetting to count my spoons and overloaded, trying to do too much, I feel a bit confused...

Do you take any medication to help with the adhd?

 

[kriss72]

Do you take any medication to help with the adhd?

No, I don't take any medications for my ADHD, the available medications aren't safe for me due to other conditions.

 

[wards]

No, I don't take any medications for my ADHD, the available medications aren't safe for me due to other conditions.

Ahh ok that’s a shame, would you try them if you could? I’m going to try medication when the time comes.

 

[kriss72]

Ahh ok that’s a shame, would you try them if you could? I’m going to try medication when the time comes.

Yes, I would have tried them if the doctors hadn't told me they were too risky for me - I'm also sure some of the people around me would appreciate me trying it out

Do you have any doubts about trying them?

 

[wards]

Yes, I would have tried them if the doctors hadn't told me they were too risky for me - I'm also sure some of the people around me would appreciate me trying it out

Do you have any doubts about trying them?

Not at all, I’d happily take what ever of passed along to me to try lol. I’m at the point with it all I’m really at the mercy of some help. Sick of my brain feeling fried and having all my energy burnt up on simple tasks.

 

[kriss72]

Not at all, I’d happily take what ever of passed along to me to try lol. I’m at the point with it all I’m really at the mercy of some help. Sick of my brain feeling fried and having all my energy burnt up on simple tasks.

That is kind of the state I was in - did you finish the assessment today, do you know when you get the results?

 

[wards]

That is kind of the state I was in - did you finish the assessment today, do you know when you get the results?

Yeah combined type, long wait for meds though.

 

[Neri]

Yeah combined type, long wait for meds though.

Same.

 

[wards]

Same.

I’ve been told up to 7 months until I can start titration. Shame really

 

[kriss72]

I’ve been told up to 7 months until I can start titration. Shame really

That's too long, sorry to hear...

 

[wards]

That's too long, sorry to hear...

Yeah, it’s taken 11 months to be seen for a diagnosis too, the wait was killing me lol.

 

[Neri]

I’ve been told up to 7 months until I can start titration. Shame really

I got a referral last November and was told I couldn't get in until March, which has been pushed back until December now, and that's IF they haven't closed their books, before my name comes up, so no guarantees.

I am, however pursuing some holistic, herbal treatment, in the meantime, as I just can't wait that long with nothing.

 

[wards]

I got a referral last November and was told I couldn't get in until March, which has been pushed back until December now, and that's IF they haven't closed their books, before my name comes up, so no guarantees.

I am, however pursuing some holistic, herbal treatment, in the meantime, as I just can't wait that long with nothing.

Ack thats no good, who did you go with for your assessment and titration?

 

[Neri]

Ack thats no good, who did you go with for your assessment and titration?

I did an online assessment with a service that specifically diagnoses adult ASD and ADHD. That was last november too. I don't know what "titration" is? I went to my gp with my diagnostic report and she referred me to the ADHD specialist psychiatrist what I now having to wait a year to see.
I did get my name put on a wait list for another clinic, that actually treats people with AuDHD, but they won't say how much the treatment is going to cost which worries me. They take about 6 months to a year, I think.

The naturopath, however, who I posted links to in this thread, I already spoke to on the phone and I can get the treatment covered by my disability insurance money. She is going to ring me again on saturday so we can line up my first testing appointment. They do VERY comprehensive testing, hair analysis, stool analysis. They give you a education booklet. It sounds very comprehensive. And they teach some useful skills in managing the disorder, by the sounds I'm incredibly excited to get some support around this stuff. 50 years of being undiagnosed and untreated, I'm really running out of ability to cope, without help.

 

[kriss72]

I did an online assessment with a service that specifically diagnoses adult ASD and ADHD. That was last november too. I don't know what "titration" is? I went to my gp with my diagnostic report and she referred me to the ADHD specialist psychiatrist what I now having to wait a year to see.
I did get my name put on a wait list for another clinic, that actually treats people with AuDHD, but they won't say how much the treatment is going to cost which worries me. They take about 6 months to a year, I think.

Titration means to find the correct amount of medication, it is individual for people with adhd, it's not weight based or something, like other medications can be.

I went private for my assessment, I'm still on the waiting list for the psychiatrist my gp referred me to, not sure if I will go when time comes, maybe I will, to get a second opinion on the medication....

The naturopath, however, whox I posted links to in this thread, I already spoke to on the phone and I can get the treatment covered by my disability insurance money. She is going to ring me again on saturday so we can line up my first testing appointment. They do VERY comprehensive testing, hair analysis, stool analysis. They give you a education booklet. It sounds very comprehensive. And they teach some useful skills in managing the disorder, by the sounds I'm incredibly excited to get some support around this stuff. 50 years of being undiagnosed and untreated, I'm really running out of ability to cope, without help.

I will be really interested to hear what your experience with them becomes.